FearlessBlogging.com: anonymous discussions.

Sort've. Unless you pissed off the government.


Here are some recent conversations:


I've had depression for a year and a half now. I go to therapy but that doesn't help. I've tried to kill myself five times and have been in a mental hospital for two months of my summer. That did not help. I used to be on fluoxetine and now I'm on sertraline. I self harm. My mom and dad think I'm getting better but really I've just got good at acting. But now... I am just so emotionally and physically numb that I can't think straight.. Nobody understands. The last time I felt like this was the night I swallowed 80 pills. I can't even rembered half the things I 'felt' that night. Then again in the mental hospital. Not until a month later did it really sink in where I was. I'm open to chats and I'll be blogging my feelings most days.. To anyone out there listening.... Hi😬

posted to life by Adrian, Writer of Evil (0 comments)

I suppose I have too much time on my hands but I often just sit and think about really overwhelming things. It's good in a way because I'm getting to know myself but it's also kind of dangerous because I could drive myself crazy. A common thought is that I don't really serve any purpose on Earth. I feel I belong somewhere else. I'm just getting by here. It's not really fulfilling, satisfying. I feel like there's another world out there. Somewhere I'd feel more at home, somewhere I'd serve more purpose. I've tried explaining this feeling to my closest friends but nobody has felt the same and think it's really strange. Does anyone else ever feel like this?
posted to life by Harper, Attendant of the Unimaginable Terror (72 comments)

He may not get it all right. He may not even come close to perfect but i love him. They said find what makes you happy and i did. He really makes me happy. Its been a rollercoaster of a marriage but hes all i want. I hurt him, really bad but he saw something in me that was wirth keeping. Ive had a good man all this time and all he needed from me was a little time and patience as we worked through our pile if problems. For the first time in months i see that guy that i married, the one who lit up my world everytime he was mentioned, the guy i fell head over heels for. Were still reparing the damage i caused but were happy again. I made the right decision and im happy now. I cant believe i almost gave up on him. Hurting him was the dumbest thing i could ever do, as i work to mend myself he helps too. He never lost sight of why we got married he fought hard for our marriage, and everything we built. He is the best thing i could ever ask for. I cant wait to see what our future holds.

posted to relationships by Nikki, Handmaid of the Financial Services department (0 comments)

So long story short, I live with my ex. We have been broken up for years, never did the 'friends with benefits' thing. I feel like I am a free agent. So a couple months ago his old friend starts to hang out with us, and I had an instant attraction. He's such a hottie, and has a heart of pure gold. A couple weeks ago, we found ourselves alone in a room for the first time, and he confesses to me that he has feelings for me. I tell him the same, and we kissed. Not just any kiss, but a 'God I'm so relieved I finally get to do this' kiss that makes time stop and winds cease. Now I find myself completely head over heels and in the biggest quandary of the year.  By some horrible coincidence, my roomie / ex states out of the blue today: "I dont want you to hook up with him. He just started hanging out again and I dont want you two to hang out all the time and leave me out." I am certain he has no clue we have made a connection already, but he knows me and the friend get along famously, and we have alot in common. Is what he is saying filled with vindiction? Does he just want to keep the friend all to himself or what?? I am so confused, I want to be with his friend soo terribly, but I dont want to screw up my living situation by making my roomie mad. Please, someone tell me something to make me stop crying.
posted to relationships by Shiki, Writer of the IT department (112 comments)

I'm currently 19 and she is one and a half year younger than me. I know her for a year now, we've been talking everyday since then on skype or just texting. I've been in love with some girls before but it's different with her... i can tell her everything and anything, we know each other so well that we understand each other's feelings with no word. I know that she likes me and cares about me a lot, I can make her happy and I even saw this once when she did not realize that she called me and she was extremally happy because of me. She is my only reason to live, I ain't got no friends and don't get on well with my family - she is everything for me - my best and only friend, my family replacement and finally the person I love the most and above everything, including myself. The think is that despite her liking me so much, whenever I ask her out she says that she wants to be alone and she doesn't want a BF :( I hope that it's not true and think that it could be caused by her horrible family situation - where she has to care about the house and her little bro since her mom gives no shit and hangs out with her lover instead. I dunno, all I know is that I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH!! LOVE YOU KATE!!!

posted to relationships by Lisa, Warlord of Evil (2 comments)

This is the marriage your fighting to keep in your mother's home, back bedroom. Lust of the eye gate. The adulter, pedophile of the pulpit. Watching while urinating, brushing teeth and in the shower. What type of women are you? Absolutely no morals; knowing the details. And yet keeping him. Thee greatest kept secret, hmm now EXPOSED! Your marriage

posted to life by Dakota, Master of the Satisfied (0 comments)

NEVADA HOA (HOMEOWNER ASSOCIATION) FRAUD VICTIMS

The FBI/Secret Service U.S. Government does NOT serve and protect you - it serves and protects Nevada HOA CRIMINALS!

Nevada HOA Victims have been told numerous times by the federal government that HOA crimes are LEGAL.

The U.S. Government engages in ANARCHY by not enforcing the laws to protect law-abiding People - and we pay taxes to this corrupt government - so it may protect and serve criminals!

None of this is legal advice.

posted to life by Peyton, Hunter of Justice (3 comments)

Recently it has come to light that Anthony Weiner has yet again been caught sexing, for the third time now. This time is different, however. The person at the other end of the line is a 15 year old girl. This could potentially earn Weiner some time in the big house if NY prosecutors determine the messages were sexual enough to actually break the law. But we all know he did and we all know he will be facing charges. But what is he really guilty of?

In today's world of Snapchat, Periscope, and other online services that allow young, attention seeking girls, to self-produce their own content to be consumed by an audience thirsty for something new to look at that doesn't cost any money. We have a whole demographic of girls who are essentially willing to work for peanuts. Only in this case, they are being paid with attention. What these girls do not realize or perhaps they do not care about, is that their audiences, which can quickly grow into the thousands, are full of men that would frighten them if only the could see them or know their age. These girls dress in a very revealing manner and sometimes even engage in exposing private parts of their body just to get more viewers for their broadcast and to get more "followers." Once their broadcasts are complete, however, they are quick to delete the broadcast footage from the service in order to avoid the footage being used against them for shaming purposes in the future.

Anthony Weiner was pursued by an under-aged girl who claimed to be "obsessed" with him and now in retrospect the girl claims she just wanted to write a book about him. While this is a noble aspiration and certainly adds to her narrative as a victim of Weiner's double life as a sex addict, there are some interesting nuances that should not escape us as we analyze this story and quickly drag Weiner into the public square.

First off, the girl had carried on an inappropriate relationship with Weiner for months but suddenly had an attack of guilt and decided their relationship needed to be made public. The interesting part about this is the timing, only a couple weeks after it was discovered that Weiner had been exposing himself to victim #2. This suggests he was sexting both victim #2 and this under-aged girl at the same time. Which I'm sure when the news story about victim #2 broke, it was probably the first time the under-aged girl had heard about their being another girl. I think you can see where this is going and that's because we all know how much everyone loves cheaters. Was this public outing a cry for help or an act of revenge?

Weiner exercised incredibly poor judgment but does he have a mental disorder? Well if he does then we have a pretty sick world on our hands. In fact, web sites have started to pop up that make finding girls of all ages easier to find when the broadcasts are becoming sexual. Sites like YouNow and Periscope are exploding with new users because of this "work for attention" mentality that is plaguing the online community. They take very ineffective measures to curb these behaviors. They only care about masking the problem to avoid breaking any laws or evade legal liability.

Let's be very clear, girls who are under-aged, should not be allowed to broadcast video on the internet. The fact that these services allow under-aged girls to broadcast, knowing these girls will behave inappropriately to gain popularity, is disgusting. They are using gaming mechanics and other emotional exploits against these young girls to temp them into inappropriate behavior and drive site traffic. It's gross. Any measures they do take are reactive and any warnings or account deletions happen after the behavior has already taken place and displayed to a completely open internet audience.

Is it the other way around? Should older men not be allowed to watch broadcasts of those who are under-aged? The current strategy of these broadcast sites is to allow everyone to watch any broadcast, even users who haven't event registered for an account.

So clearly nobody cares. Clearly we want act like Weiner's behavior is not on the same continuum as the epidemic of under-aged girls behaving inappropriately on the internet. It would be so easy to prevent, with just an age verification step including a photo ID. But no, that would destroy the user-base of these sites and therefore cannot be. So clearly we need to make an example of Weiner and go about our professional and perverted life duality that we seem to cherish so much.

Let's acknowledge the problem and do something about it. Scaring men into "not looking" at under-aged girls broadcasting on their own volition by making a pariah of Weiner does not solve the problem in its entirety and will only cause the problem to go deeper into secrecy.

posted to tech by Brett, Observer of the Wicked (2 comments)

I've had this hopeless infatuation with one of my managers for several weeks now. We're both 25 and he's married and has kids. I feel so bad having feelings for him, but I can't help it. When I say I am consumed with infatuation, I mean I don't go a whole 10 minutes without thinking of him. I am constantly fantasizing about him, even when he's around and I even dream about him all the time. I don't think he has any clue I am into him at all. He also makes me very horny and I hate it. I hate being around him sometimes because all I want to do is jump his bones. Thank goodness for self-control! I don't even understand why I have such feelings for him. He can be very hot-headed and gets onto me a lot about things and gets frustrated with me more often than I'd like, but he also can be funny and goofy and he has his flirty moments. I wish I wasn't so addicted to him. I am just getting out of a relationship and my heart is broken, so I guess in a way he's been a great distraction, but this is getting very unhealthy.

posted to relationships by Brett, Ranger of the Forgotten Lands (1 comment)

There may be a reason Police officers shoot Black People . Despite making up just 13% of the population, African Americans committed half of homicides in the United States . Well , the only good thing about this , over half of them murders , are black on black .In that respect keep up the good work .

posted to school by Ari, Patriarch of the Irredeemably Moist (1 comment)

We have been dating for a few months, he's 21 and I'm 19. He likes to role-play incest situations, like pretend I'm his younger sister. It's been fun in kind of a weird way. He has been begging me to tease and seduce my actual brother. Dressing sexy around him, brushing up against him, just little things. My confession is I fucking love it and I get so excited when I think about how far I can take this.

posted to relationships by Charlie, Chronographer of the Rich (17 comments)

...I want to say, OK. Yes, I'm white. So that gives me a "privilege point" over you, because most people judge someone immediately by what they look like, including skin color.

Consider this as well: I'm a bisexual female with a history of being sexually and emotionally abused; my parents have been divorced for years; my brother, as well as two cousins and an uncle, are not white; my brother is going through the judicial system for selling drugs; I work THREE jobs, yet I am on welfare; half of my family (including myself) have struggled with substance abuse for years; I live in one of the poorest regions of the US; I suffer from three different mental illnesses (anxiety, depression, and OCD) as well as a few physical illnesses; I have been homeless; and I have been bullied.

My point is, if YOU don't want US to judge you for your skin color, DON'T JUDGE ME BY MINE. We do not know everyone's background and life story. I have spent my entire life trying to do the right thing, and that includes standing up for people who are being unfairly judged. I've been bullied due to poverty and sexuality my entire life, so I know how important it is to help others when they're down. However, you all are making it really hard to stand up for you when you fight violence with more violence, and then law enforcement responds with MORE violence to protect their city, so you turn around and respond with even more violence. And when I try to open dialogues with you to better understand my "privilege" and what I should do to help, I am belittled, spoken down to, treated like shit, and told to "go talk to your people, whitey." Since Treyvon Martin, I've done my best to stay educated and on the right side of history. But I do not want to be associated with the thugs that burn their own city down and destroy black businesses and black neighborhoods because they say "Black Lives Matter."

Anyway, from here on out, I vow to keep my political/social views on what's happening in this country to myself. Arguing on the internet only results in more conflict, and doesn't solve anything. I always seek to understand before being understood, but it's a little pointless when I'm the only one doing it. I'll take action as I see fit, and stand up for those who need my help in my own way, WITHOUT anyone else's input. I'll vote for who I think will fix this country.

PS - You can support equality without waving a BLM/feminist/LGBTQ flag. Just be a good fucking human being. That's it.

posted to society by Max, Sniper of Darkness (4 comments)

You just can't make this stuff up! PBS News did not mislead about what Trump said, they did not misinterpret what Trump said, they flat out blatantly Lied about what Trump said. Trump was talking about Hillary's call for anti-gun laws. Trump said: "I think that her bodyguards should drop all weapons. They should disarm. I think they should disarm immediately, what do you think, yes?," he said. "Take their guns away, she doesn't want guns. Take them, let's see what happens to her. Take their guns away, okay. It will be very dangerous." This is what PBS News reported: TRUMP CALLS FOR VIOLENCE AGAINST HILLARY! "Trump Talks About an Assassination Attempt on Hillary Clinton for the Second Time". And the media wonders why people don't believe them anymore.

posted to society by Rebecca, Architect of the Rich (1 comment)

I will be looking for under aged girls Tasty Tasty yummy yummy

posted to society by Rook, Apprentice of Time (0 comments)

A few months ago, I dated this guy. From the beginning being together was difficult because of the long distance. However, we grew to accept the distance because our feelings were far greater than any silly distance.Then I find out that my parents strongly forbid us to be together. I'm talking about Romeo and Juliet stuff, they're so dramatic.They didn't approve of his family background. I understand on some level why they worry but he was a good guy who loved me more than anything . After months of resisting my parents, we broke up. I've tried moving on and dating other guys but I could never love them the way I loved him. I'm angry at the world for making it so difficult for us to be together. I'm angry at my parents for breaking us up. The one guy I've ever actually could love, is the one guy in the world I can't be with. It frustrates me. During the time I was with him, were the happiest, even with the distance and drama. Now my life without him, it's not the same. Even though, I don't see him or talk to him, I still think about him every day. I just want be with him again, but I can't change how my parents feel about this. I kind of wished he fought for me, instead of ending our relationship. He said that he didn't want to hurt me any further especially since it was causing a lot of drama.Now I've lost my boyfriend who was also my best friend. Yeah I know, I should choose my parents over some boy right? Well who said I was choosing. I'm simply just following my heart (super corny), it just happens to be a guy my parents don't approve of. The thing that frustrates me is that its not that they don't approve of him, its his parents! The whole reason why we broke up, is not because we weren't a good fit, it was because of other people. I might be walking out on something really good. I've been hoping he would talk to me again. He did, but I was on a date (trying to but unsuccessfully move on). After that we found it difficult to find the right time to talk to each other, since we had busy schedules ALSO seems like life is against us being together like some kind of big sign saying I should give up on this relationship. However, I don't believe in signs especially when they are telling me the opposite of what I want! I just want to know if I should reach out to talk to him again. I'm not sure if I should be fighting for him since he clearly is not fighting for me. If he really loved me he should've reached out to me or something or at least continue being good friends? He knows I've been seeing someone, so maybe he thinks I've moved on. Should I talk to him again, to clear things up. Should I let him know I still love him or just forget him and let him believe I'm over him.

posted to relationships by Taylor, Garçon of the IT department (3 comments)

Ild kill myself if i weren't so scared of what the afterlife may hold

posted to life by Adrian, Breeder of the Hungry (2 comments)

i have no one in the world. i live with adoptive parents that hate me and i hate being at school because i have one friend and she makes me feel terrible about myself. I cry almost all the time because this feeling of loneliness is overwhelming. I dont know what to do. I wish i had at least one genuine person in the world i can love trust and care about. Unfotunatley its just me and most likely will be like that forever.

posted to life by Frank, Embalmer of the Idealistic (4 comments)

I am finally dating the nice guy. It's great! We've been dating 2-3 weeks. But....he wants to get concert tickets with me for March....which is 6 months away. I just got out of a relationship that lasted a year and 3 months before that I was in a relationship for 5 years. and three months before that I was in a relationship for 2 years. All with complete assholes. Needless to say, I am NOT jumping into another relationship because I am finding that I choose shitty men for fear of being alone. Which is all fine and dandy to realize but is not the issue. The issue is, I don't know how to nicely tell him I don't want to get tickets with him for something 6 months away, we will still know eachother at that time no matter what, bc of our friendship group... What should I say to this guy? I really like him, but that's just too far out.

posted to relationships by Addison, Developer of the Satisfied (1 comment)

Hillary reportedly was on the "‘Funny or Die’ with Zach Galifianakis" show (whatever that is, showing my age). From the reports she was not a happy camper, at one point she says: “I really regret doing this.” She cancelled a "Press" call scheduled for Thursday afternoon to discuss "Hillary Clinton’s plan for Historically Black Colleges and Universities". Guess she couldn't get up the energy for a pandering session after a full morning being punked.

posted to society by Dana, Devourer of Good (0 comments)

Okay i get it. I am emotionally disturbed. I do snap, often actually. I have no excuse for the way i am all i know is ive attempted to change and everytime i get hurt or hurt myself i end up here. So well played. You win. You came out of it the happy one and im the one still failing at a desperate attempt to move on. Theres nothing left to say ive tried releasing the anger and i just end up hurting myself more. I tried it you way its not working. At this point my way isnt working either. I give up. You won. You beat me at my own game. I dont know what to do. Its been months and im still stuck in this same angry spot.

posted to relationships by Lisa, Student of the Wicked (0 comments)

Yo leave me alone. So what if my reality doesnt make sense to you. Youre not me you wouldnt last a day in my shoes. You know what you did to me you say you tried to help but all you did was make me re-live the pain in my childhood over and over agian. Then basically told me i was "emotionally disturbed"because i dont handle my problems the way you do. I loved you with everything in me. I tried so hard to do everything you asked me to do handle things the way you showed me and then you blame the way i deal with my issues on my anxiety how fucking dare you. YOU FUCKING RAPED ME! you admitted to this whole site that you did and then act all butt hurt when i finally chose my husband. He may not be perfect but he would never dare to raped me. You became one of the same people who put me through all the hurt that i so called cant deal with. My reality is distorted because of people like you who purposly try to hurt me then call me crazy bc i have to go numb to keep from crying every day. You told me how much you wanted to rape me and hurt me. Youre fucking sick yet im the crazy one. I shouldve fucking hated you that day but i didnt i sent you edible aragements bc i couldnt stand to see you cry the way you did. All ive ever done was loved you and you criticized me for it. You wonder why no one ever chooses you? Youre a fucked up person yea your bubbly on tge out side but your no fucking different than me. Your weak and filled with sick fantasys and bull shit logic. Thats why your fucking great to look at but you have a dark fucking heart. You wanna kniw why i chose him. Because he has it in him to make me hapoy for the rest of my life. You? Well you can be as happy as you want with the girl known around VA Beach with the funny smelling pussy. Hows that for distorted reality. Dont like what i said? You know where i fucking live!

posted to relationships by Nia, Administrator of the Lonely (6 comments)

He is smart, funny, good-looking and such a NICE guy.  We’re both married, so it won’t happen, but it sure doesn’t stop me from thinking about kissing him, exploring his body freely… I want to just GRAB him, kiss him, suck him, and fuck him!  
posted to relationships by Andy, Superintendent of the IT department (70 comments)

Hillary was sighted today at a small community center in Florida. There were less than 200 people in attendance, most were press and campaign personnel. Hillary had a disabled girl on stage with her, I guess she thought that having a disabled girl in the same picture as her would make her look healthier. 30 minutes later and poof Hillary disappeared again. We will continue the lookout for the next rare sighting of Hillary the Presidential Candidate.

posted to society by Brett, Illusionist of the Wicked (0 comments)

i recently started dating this guy who i like so much the only catch is he is about eight years older than me. does age really matter? i need someones opinion on this

posted to relationships by Frank, Apprentice of Time (5 comments)

No longer Blue.

confession

So I met this girl in school. She was cute and weird. She was also married. She said her marriage was ending and I let that be a means of justification to start and continue a relationship. I lived with her, we cooked together, slept together, shared all of the dark corners of our childhood. Yet I now see I was the altimate side chick. Even though I fell in love and made her fall in love with me. Her love for him wasnt going anywhere. Still it felt like the best thing ever until one day I made a mistake. I had been drinking, thinking about her husband and had a sinking feeling of being temporary. So.. one night after we had been intimate and she was sore and said she couldnt go any longer. I forced my fingers inside of her. I wanted to show her how temporary, unimportant and meaningless I felt. Once I saw her face I realized what I had done. I had broken trust and after a very long night a emotional.. discussion. She agreed to give me a chance to fix things. That morning she went back to her husband. Over the course of the last 3 months she has bounced between us both. Then basically tried to have her husband and I compete for her. I told her we needed to move on shortly after that, but still remain friends because we both were each others bestfriends. She was going to work on things with her husband and I was going to work on me. I told her that when I had an interest in someone I'd let her know just so she wasnt blindsided. I had an interest. She didnt take it well. I dont understand how she can be mad. How she can choose to end our friendship because Im moving on. Like she is with her husband. She thinks I lied to her because I didnt tell her the details of my interest with her. I am happy with my interest. I want her to be happy with her husband. Maybe we just cant be friends.

posted to relationships by Rook, Security Guard of Musclebeasts (4 comments)

Its crazy just how your mind will do/ create anything to help someone cope with stuff. I didnt know how to deal with deployment, my husband left and i fell to the lowest point in my life. I was going to school by day but a drug addict by night. I had fell so low i didnt know how to get through it other then numbing myself with drugs. Then i met this girl i called her blue and and i started to believe that blue was real. Forgetting that she wasnt only blue. Time went by and i spent time with both blue her "alter ego" and her as she was. I fell madly in love with the alter ego and believed that was everything her though her host personality was not blue didnt make me feel like blue didnt look at me like blue and didnt touch me like blue, her pupils dont change like blue does when she looked at me. One day a saw the real her the host personality and knew blue wasnt there. She forced herself on me blue would never do anything like that. She scared me i didnt want her i wanted blue, so i made arragements and brought my husband back from deployment. Since he came back her host personality took over more and more. Until the day she was no longer blue. Blue was the best thing thats ever happened to me and i love blue so much i never wanted that to go away but i was not in love with the host that girl scared me she made me cry countless times she threatned me she wanted to do evil things to me things that were no longer a fantasy she told me many times in detail how she wanted to hurt me. I hated that girl. I said that i would always love blue and that will never change. Blue still hokds a very special part of my heart but blue is gone now and will never return, and as i sit here mourning the loss of blue everyone thinks im crying over the host. But nobody knows nobody understands but me and blue. No one knows blue just me so im the only one mourning and no one gets that. They just see that i cheated on my husband thats all they care about. Blue wasnt a side chick blue was everything i wanted in life and i would have chose blue over him but the host took over too much. Im not hurt because she lied so much im hurt because she killed blue.

posted to relationships by Ash, Butcher of Generosity (4 comments)

I've always been able to make myself happy. I choose to deal with obsticles in life head on. My thought behind this is the sooner I acknowlege the issue the sooner I can move past the issue. I didnt understand that people don't do things like I do. You know that whole lesson 2+2=4 but so does 1+3. See I personally feel that a clear mind can only come from organizing thoughts. If something hurts you emotionally dissect, study and learn from it. There are some people who actually function properly by not dealing with there emotional instability. For example I knew this person who came from a really hard childhood like me maybe worse. Instead of actually dealing with things they bury and rationalize them. Now at the time I tried to help this person. Show them how I deal with emotional distress and teach them another way. I explained that if you bury and bury eventually its going to explode on you. Might be why sed person has anxiety and hints of depression. Well on my quest to help them I'd see them revert to old habit even though they thought they were changing. It was almost as if I watched them trick themselves into thinking they were dealing with any emotional issue. But somehow it worked for them. They were actually happier and lively. They still buried but chose not to see it. I feel I could still steer them in the right direction but they seem to distort emotional hardship into what appears to be happiness. But just because its not my way doesnt make it wrong but are they doing whats best for them?

posted to relationships by Rebecca, Paladin of the Idealistic (2 comments)

Where's Hillary, for the second day in a row, her campaign cancelled another fundraiser, this one in North Carolina. Rumors starting on some web sites that she may opt out of Monday's debate. How ill is she? Responsible voters need to know!

posted to society by Reggie, Druid of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

I'm 23, play in a band, have a career, great job, in an MBA program, have a boyfriend, but yet I am still unhappy. It all comes down with the way i see my body. I am hirsute (hairy) and I have hidradenitis suppurativa (abscesses in groin and underarms, they come randomly). I am also flat chested, so imagine all of this. I fee like I'm in an ugly ass dude body with a decent face. I have a happy trail and a hairy butt (not bushy, but enough for an average guy to be turned off). The problem with me is not feeling conformable in my own skin. I have a great personality, I'm friendly, love helping others, sweet, hard-working, love to love others, and generally optimistic and good at giving advice. I need to practice what I preach.

I feel like I will never feel happy with myself. Even if I felt comfortable being naked in front of a guy, I feel like he wouldn't even be turned on because of my hairy-ness, flat chest, and dark brown scars from abscesses on my groin and armpits. I'm not like the women you see online. I have a heart of gold and I just want to be loved for my personality AND my body.... I don't know who can appreciate both if guys nowadays have high expectations on women. I, on the other hand, am not shallow. I grew up being fat so I know what its like to be picked on. It sucks being in this body that is aesthetically UNAPPEALING. I have hairs under my chin and they just keep getting darker. Pretty soon, I won't want to be seen in day light.

I hope there will be someone out there who can love me no matter what I look like. Someone who can help me understand that my body is amazing how it is... because I sure as fuck don't see it now.

posted to life by Dana, Writer of the Financial Services department (12 comments)

I'm the loneliest I think I've ever been. and it's all my own doing, because I can't bear that anyone hears what I am actually thinking. Because if they did, they'd know for a fact what a horrible person I really am.

I can't tell anyone that I sometimes think it would be better for me and my husband if he would just die. Or that when I imagine it, the first thing I think about doing is going and getting a pack of Winstons and a bottle of either Fireball or Jaeger and sitting in the backyard drinking and smoking. Or that I fantasize about getting myself in shape, finally, and finding some BDSM club or community and finding someone to be my Master.

How could I tell my husband any of that? It would break his heart. I feel like the world's biggest hypocrite every time I go to church, and every time my husband wants to talk about the Gospel. I think that if anyone really knew what I was thinking and feeling every Sunday when I go, they would ban me from ever coming back. And I wouldn't blame them.

I want to want to be righteous. Or at least part of me does. But the bigger part of me just wants to say fuck it all and let go of what I know to be true. Sometimes I feel like if I had any true courage, I would do it. I'm not happy now. I doubt that I ever really will be. I don't think that I really deserve to be. And I know that it tears my husband to pieces because he really loves me. And I love him. At least as much as I can really love anyone. I think after all is said and done, I'm really a very selfish creature. Or maybe I just want to be--I just need to take the plunge and get it over with.

Instead, I know what will happen. I'll continue to do what I've been doing, knowing that it will never ever ever get better because I will always put him first in every way that I can, which right now seems to just be not leaving him because it would kill him and trying not to be too annoyed when he wants my attention. I wish I could give it to him willingly, but it's so hard right now. Maybe I should just eat the end of the 9 mil.

posted to life by Ari, Templar of the Unimaginable Terror (25 comments)

I'm a crossdresser who actually loves wearing Women's Dress Pumps in Patent Black with heels because it makes me so happy, but in California when I'm not shopping, is it legal in public?

posted to life by George, Shepherd of the Rich (7 comments)

My boyfriend has two kids from a previous marriage. We get them for a couple days twice a week. Every time they come back from his ex's house, they smell bad, and they're both feeling ill. One of them has had a chronic cough for the past two months, which the doctors say is a complication of environmentally-induced asthma. She's had multiple ear infections and upper respiratory problems. Yet the ex continues to smoke in the house and never cleans. And they have indoor pets.

Last week, both of them came down with the stomach flu. I disinfected the entire house, including their bedding and clothes. They left feeling better, no fever. We got them back last night, and the eldest has a fever of 103, and the youngest is hacking her lungs up.

I go to great lengths to make sure this house is clean and suitable for kids, even though they aren't mine. You'd be hard-pressed to find any dust anywhere here, the trash is always taken out, the floors are swept and mopped, surfaces are sanitized, they always have clean clothes to wear, and absolutely no air fresheners or Febreze are used (I'm allergic, and the youngest one's cough isn't worth it). I try and make sure they eat healthy, no candy or junk food for the most part, and they drink plenty of water. Yet they are sick 90% of the time. I'd wager they ingest more cough and allergy medicine than they do food.

I'm just sick of pulling my weight and their mother's weight in caring for them. She's proven time and time again to be a negligent mother, she never helps them with homework or makes an effort to actually fix a home cooked meal for them. I feel like I'm pulling double duty to undo what she's doing to them. And it's not fair, not only to them, but to us... my boyfriend and I work multiple jobs and can't afford to get sick. I'm dropping fuck tons of money on Lysol and other cleaning supplies to ensure we don't get sick, and to prevent them from reinfecting themselves.

I'm just exhausted....

posted to life by Ari, Ship Master of Light (2 comments)

chillax take an exlax. chillax take an exlax

posted to life by Bowie, Merchant of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

Tuesday, 9/20/2016: Hillary cancelled another fundraiser, has not been seen since last Friday. Last Friday she was seen being helped up a short stairs to a stage, not seen since leaving the stage 30 minutes later. Stay tuned for future sightings of Hillary.

posted to society by Rook, Consultant of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

Caps lock to get your attention. Here are some thoughts that might help: 1. Most states will perform an abortion up to nine weeks of pregnancy. You can always say you miscarried... because technically, that's what it is. 2. Adoption. It's a less private option, but it is an option nonetheless. 3. There are natural ways to induce a miscarriage... however, I recommend being very cautious and thorough with your research on it. I have used Vitamin C myself for inducing my period when it was late (NOT due to pregnancy, just due to weird hormonal stuff). 4. If all else fails, you have the child, and you haven't arranged adoption, look up Safe Haven Laws in your particular state. All 50 states have some form of the law. It basically allows you to legally abandon your child with a safe individual, like a doctor, nurse, police officer, or firefighter. However, you have to do it fast... some states don't allow it past three days.

And listen... to avoid all this, be super careful. I know, I know, the condom slipped, I missed a pill, etc. etc. etc. Double up on your contraception. My SO and I use condoms, withdrawal, and the rhythm method, all on top of each other (no pun intended). That way, if one fails, there are two other methods in place to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Get yourself a stash of Plan B, while you're at it. Don't fuck when you're drunk/high. And lastly, if you do get pregnant, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Get away from your SO/family/friends for a day or so and think about your options ON YOUR OWN without anyone else's input. Make a decision and act on it fast. Abortions have a time limit.

posted to life by Aubrey, Manager of Musclebeasts (1 comment)

I am a 50 yo male, married and my stepdaughter,18, walks around in a g string and bra, sits on my lap and pinches my nipples all the time. I want to fuck her so bad but i haven't crossed that line yet. Anyone else in the same boat?

posted to life by Stevie, Supervisor of Musclebeasts (7 comments)

I hate to have to say that outloud, but it's true.  Today she made me so made that tears of anger washed my face.  I haven't felt that kind of anger in a long time. My sister is in a much higher tax bracket than I am and she makes no bones about how much better she is than me.  She talks down to me as if I were nothing.  I love her and yet I hate her. She can make a room full of people feel awkward just with her mood.  It's palpable.  It's like she needs to be personally invited to every family event there is.  And we aren't a formal bunch.  If my mom calls her in the morning and she's busy then, she expects another call later inviting her again closer to the time of  a meal.  My mom bulls up and won't do that and my sister gets offended and says she's "out of the loop". She always says that sarcastically to me like I'm the one keeping her out of the loop.  That's not true at all.   She won't call my parents and they won't call her.  Both thinks the other should do the calling.  Somehow I get put squarely in the middle as I have my whole life.  Each asks me what the other is up to.  Today my sister brought up an instance where she thought she was slighted about being asked to a flea market.  (Although she said I brought it up, which I didn't.)  She was asked the night before and said maybe. The next morning she was asked again and said no because she had been, "left out of the loop." See, she wants to be invited again and again. So, today I told her that maybe in the future if she feels I'm keeping her out of the loop that she should talk directly with my parents. She tells me I'm making an issue out of things and that she does not need my drama.  My drama?  Please.   She said that we would just continue as we always do.  I said, "Alright then.  Have a nice day." I am 46 years old and older than here.  I will not be treated like that anymore.  I've let her walk all over me my entire life and I'm done.  I will not buffer her sand paper personality for my parents any longer.  She can show her true colors. Right now I am so angry at her that I spit nails. She's a bitch and bullying one at that.  She's got a vicious mouth when she's angry. She'll pick an agrument and then tell me it's my drama. Fuck her.
posted to relationships by Blaine, Lover of Time (285 comments)

Our world is going in a dangerous direction. All of the new technological advancements may be great and empowering, but they're also a distraction from the true meaning of happiness. Everyone should read the book Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, then you'll understand more about what I'm talking about. Technology seems to becoming more important to people, and used more often. It's used in schools, work, for fun, for everything. But, people cannot mistake technology for a substitute for happiness and staying connected with the world. Having conversations aren't meant to be online, they're meant to be personal and meaningful face to face. People will lose so much if they continue to just use technology to keep in touch with others. And yes, I'm using technology to allow this message to be opened up to the world. I'm not saying we shouldn't use technology, I'm just saying we should monitor the direction it goes in.

posted to society by Harper, Summoner of Generosity (1 comment)

I recently found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. My fiance and both of our families are extremely excited. I, however, am not. I hate the fact that I'm pregnant and constantly wish for a miscarriage or fantasize about how I could get an abortion with no one ever finding out. I'm already getting gifts and my MIL squeals with excitement, but all of these things just annoy me. On top of that, my body is going through the cliche pregnant lady changes and I have morning sickness (which I don't understand why they call it morning sickness because I'm sick the entire day). I am depressed, miserable, and not looking forward to my breasts leaking milk for the next year. I don't want the full time responsibility of raising a child either. When I walk through the baby section in a store, I don't become elated with joy at seeing the tiny outfits. I prefer not to hold people's babies and frankly it's rare I find one cute. They annoy me with their crying in restaurants and when someone brings one into a movie theater, I feel a strong need to ask the mother what the fuck was she thinking. I feel like my life is now over--all of these little fantasies I had about going back for a Masters or JD will now be put to bed, living in Barcelona will never happen. And on top of that, I can't go on my fucking ski vacation! I want to run away, live by myself, and never see any of you people ever again.
posted to life by Harper, Gunner of Generosity (159 comments)

i love school. i love studying and i know most people don't but i find it fun and i find gaining knowledge fun. thats just me. i would wake up everyday excited for school but now, i hate it. i'm only in year 9 and i just wanna run away. why? because of the teachers, the mean kids and the stress. i always had friends and was popular but now the kids are weird and they fight just because they're different. they dont accept each other and get jelous. they throw shade and call each other snakes.i hate it. the teachers crush your dreams and tell you that you arent good enough. they just speak and speak and make you so bored that you don't feel like studying anymore. whats happened to being creative? it sucks and i'm honestly not having a good time. so much work and so much stress. whats happened to society? x

posted to school by Richard, Assassin of the Wildlands (1 comment)

This is an extremely long story, and I need strangers opinions because i already know what my family and my boyfriend wants me to do. I've been dating my boyfriend for three years.. invested time, money, emotions, and heartache for him. I always had an amazing relationship with his family. They were very open and loving towards me. Obviously it came to an end permanently around February of 2016. His parents recently split (not legally) and my boyfriend didn't find out until he came home from school in December his mom left his dad for a woman. As a shocker to him he spiraled into a somewhat stage of depression and feeling like he wasn't told anything, which he never is. hes the last to know about anything and is treated like a baby by everyone and always put down by everyone. I get angry but in the end it's his fault because he keeps his mouth shut and his comments to himself out of respect for his siblings and his parents yet hes only hurting himself and giving them more ammunition to get hurt by them. He was angry at his mom and in denial saying "She'll come back home". It's now September of 2016 and she isn't home. She's living with her girlfriend 15 years younger than her (doesn't matter the age still morally wrong because she's still legally married my opinion). I told him in January she's still your mom you can'y shut her out. She's going through something she hasn't even been through, you have to give her time.. I stood up for her to her kid, and showed him she's not changing, she's still his mother. I did that. Two months later in February / Early March, my boyfriend asks me if there's a chance my mother would make me break up with him because of his mothers new/experimental life style... My mother? Make me break up with him, because she's gay? "No my mother isn't like that, why?" "Well you know you guys go to church and she was nervous religion would get in the middle of it, it was a dumb question never mind". "Yeah that was a dumb question and sound like you don't even trust me or my mother" Why was my mom brought into this? His family barley knows her. As a daughter of a father who cheated on her mother, i hate the situation at hand. They didn't just "get together" in January, they were probably together since October or November, which mean no one knew until December when she wasn't staying home or going to see her son at school when me and her husband went. His grandmother (maternal side) FB messaged me saying she apologized if she offended me and whatever i heard was wrong.. blah blah blah.. OH WAIT.. she told me that when someone is gay she understand the bible says to stay away from them --- wrong. The Bible tells us to pray with the people who are going through difficult changes or feelings within themselves and to be with them every step of the way. I didn't say anything wrong or rude, only that i was disappointing with the way my mother was brought up in a family conversation when i indeed am not family. She took offense and told me to have a good life, oh well. Long story kinda short, we've been rocky ever since. Me and my boyfriend have differences in approaching things. I call people out on their bullshit and he doesn't. He didn't stand up for me until I broke up with him on Easter Sunday. I couldn't take being looked at and not spoken to on a joyous holiday that I love to Enjoy. I was angry, and embarrassed, I handed out Easter baskets to his cousins and i left, crying and he didn't even run after me.

I couldn't not see him. Two months later he came home after us not speaking for all those days and I couldn't help but see how much pain he was in and how much I needed him myself.

We got back together and when he came home in the summer we spent almost every day together and i only gave him one rule.. never mention me to his family. they ask about me say i don't know.

His moms gf had a birthday and i went because i wasn't missing out another day with him when i wasn't going to see him till thanksgiving after august. WASN'T SPOKEN TO. I was only invited to fill in a seat. Fuck it

His family member ended up dying and i went... wasn't spoken to.. There's no respect just gossip. When i sat at a 13 person table she was talking about me and i left. She loafs off of her ex-husband (not even ex) because of money and she and her girlfriend do nothing with their lives. She blames my boyfriend for never wanting to see her when she always had a chance to go see him.

Long story short.. ending..

I'm always angry. hes back at school and i see his mom come into my job or in our community and i cringe because shes so nasty and i even got in trouble with my boss because she left the store "angry looking"

My boyfriend wont talk to his mother and have a conversation about the way she treats me.. so why should i stay around.. right?

posted to relationships by Rook, Real Estate Agent of Generosity (1 comment)

Hillary today said that, "it was appalling to watch Trump appoint himself the judge of whether the President of the United States is American." Trump had just reaffirmed that Obama was born in the United States when Hillary jumped. If she's upset at Trump for judging Obama a citizen, that means that she (as one of the original birthers) still doesn't believe Obama is a citizen. You just can't make this stuff up.

posted to society by Max, Janitor of the Idealistic (2 comments)

this guy is a liar cheater abuser and possible pedofile. He needs to be told by all who know of him why he is no good and should do his family a favor and get out of their lives. Feel free to email him and tell him what a lowlife like him derserves His email is celestial_wonder@live.ca

posted to relationships by Max, Dark King of Imagination (1 comment)

Im 18 and during the summer I was in a sorta kinda relationship with a guy and we connected on many levels, physical, emotional and it was kind of accidental the way we fell for each other. I met his family, he met mines even though we never really established a relationship and I'm always reluctant with letting people meet my family but he was different. I never really expected to fall for him it just happened on its own, i guess it happens when you spend almost everyday with that person. But when it came down to actually being in an official relationship he was reluctant to be in one being that we were going off to college in the fall. He wanted to live the "college life" everyone always talks about. Parties, drinking flirting with females all that jazz. I couldn't fathom his reasoning behind not being with me it was clear I made him happy and he definitely made me happy so whats the problem. Well now we've parted ways and Im still torn up about it. I feel like I wont be able to love anyone fully anymore because of that situation but I still have hope for the future, Im just having trouble with the now. I feel alone and abandoned when all I ever do is give and give not expecting anything in return but people still use me. I guess its just a phase but I just needed to vent.

posted to relationships by Rebecca, Venture Capitalist of Arts and Crafts (1 comment)

Take a few minutes and go to Hillary's tweets and read until you get the general gist of what she's saying. It will make you think. It doesn't even seem as though a Presidential Candidate is making them. Out of every 20 tweets I found one that kind of hinted at a policy, the rest were pure hate Trump messages. Is this the person we really want as President? One who's only ideas are hate attacks. It takes a small person to run this kind of campaign.

posted to society by Taylor, Herald of the Irredeemably Moist (0 comments)

And you think you know your husband! Lust of the eye gate! Still watching while your urinating, brushing your teeth or in the shower. Huh!! Wife response... She sits and stare as though her husband never acknowledge or admitted to the act. I admit I was wrong it was a mistake! Hub! And wife continually keep him in her mothers home. Huh

posted to society by Alice, Cleric of Justice (0 comments)

Hillary's Event Schedule as taken from Hillary's web site. There are a lot of events scheduled, however, if you select events that Hillary will be a speaker you get the following: Sept 19: Philadelphia Sept 26: Debate Oct 5: Washington DC Oct 9: Debate Oct 19: Debate Nov 8: Election No wonder she's so tired and run down. With an aggressive schedule like that no wonder she collapsed. I'm sure that after she's elected and the pace slows down she will be OK.

posted to society by Bobbie, Merchant of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

If it can't be me, then I genuinely pray you will be able to take care of him. I pray he can trust you with his secrets, his dreams, his hopes, and his fears at least as much as he trusted me. I pray you understand what is going on inside of him. I pray you will support him, especially right now when he is struggling so much. I pray you will catch him if he stumbles, and pick him up when he is down. He needs that. Few people have ever truly been there to support him.

I pray you understand how madly in love he is with his children. They are his everything, and you should NEVER try to come between them...never ask him to pick between you and them. I pray you understand how much he worries that he's doing right by them, and I hope you understand the depths of despair he feels when he can't be with them. I pray you understand that he still grieves for the 2 children he lost before they were born.

I pray you can deal with his impulsivity. Sometimes you have to let him go with it, and sometimes he will need you to help gently ground him.

I pray you also have a strong faith in God. He believes deeply that God provides, and has a plan for him, and that that plan has brought him home to his children. I pray he can talk through his beliefs with you. It is important to him. He also believes in signs.

I pray you understand how terrified he is of not being able to breathe. It is a big deal. If he freaks out because he can't find his inhaler, help him find it immediately. He won't be comfortable until he knows where it is.

I pray you understand how self-conscious he is. I pray you truly care for him just as he is...unconditionally. Don't try to change him, but do support him if he wants to change himself.

I pray you will be accepting of the times he will need to check out and completely devote himself to a project...even if that means you won't hear from him for a day or two.

I pray you understand how important it is to touch him. He lived in a loveless, touchless marriage for way too long. If you fall in love with each other, I pray that a day will never go by that you don't make sure he knows how much you love him. If that happens, I pray he will never have to doubt you.

Mostly, I pray that you will take care of him, protect him, support him, and love him even better than I ever could. Please don't hurt this amazing man. Please cherish him. Know how lucky you are to have the opportunity to love this man. Some of us never got that chance.

posted to relationships by Blaine, Ranger of Good (3 comments)

Rather then trying to make sense to whether someone is watching TBN. Whom speaking to whom in ministry. You need to sense make of your finances and living. And your lustful spirit!

posted to work by Frank, Funeral Director of Light (0 comments)

I gave one of your members a gift in Jacksonville Florida , a pissed of Tegu we found in Miami . Left it in his bedroom tonight while he was out . This gift was From The Aryan Brotherhood . .

posted to school by Frank, Funeral Director of Wild Parties (3 comments)