Greetings and salutations. I'm so glad to have found this lovely venting space Indulge me, if you will, in a rant about my horrible, horrible boss.
Let me begin by saying that I love my actual job, and I like and respect my boss's boss. But my actual supervisor is both the most passive-aggressive person I have ever encountered, and is so socially awkward that 5 minutes in her company and suddenly everyone is embarrassed. I think nobody else sees the passive-aggressive stuff because they're so overwhelmed with pity.
So here are a few examples to explain why I have been know to try really hard to hex this awful human being through the wall, despite not actually believing in hexes:
1) At my annual review this year, she told me she could tell I was "trying to be pleasant," but I was still "sometimes snarky."
2) When I asked, repeatedly for a definition or examples of "snarky," she just kept saying, "So you really don't know that you're doing it? Wow! Really?" So, you know, if it were valid I would still be totally unable to take any sort of action.
3) We attended a conference once, and I went to different sessions than she did, because who wants to spend time with someone evil when it's not required? Anyway, so later on, in a staff meeting, we were reporting on said conference, and I said that one session I attended was okay but not great. Whereupon Passive-Aggressive Coward Boss interjected, "Oh, everyone I talked to said it was fabulous!
4) Similarly, once when a group of us were sitting around chatting, I made an idle comment about making tea-- to whit, that the water must be boiling to make black tea. To which she again interjected, "Well that's not what I learned!" Important side note: I am married to a Brit, and therefore know from tea.
5) She recently read me the riot act because HR lost some paperwork for one of my supervisees, and apparently I need to take certain steps like "all the rest of us do," though the steps regarding this are the steps the freaking office manager told me to take.
6) This morning, she was scheduled to set up for an event taking place nearby, but the setup was schedule to take place between 8 and 9, and she cannot get her large ass in before 9:30, ever, so I set the event up. Then she trundled in at 9:45 or so and asked one of the people I supervise if things were set up. I said yes, I'd done it at 8, and she bloody thanked my supervisee, who had arrived about 30 minutes prior.
7) She's constantly bad-mouthing other people, including her boss, so in the dreadful weekly meetings I am forced to endure with her, I get to hear, reliably, "Well [Big Boss] seems to be under the impression that___," or, "[Big Boss] thinks we should do it this way," with a sneer I can't quite convey. The problem is that Big Boss loves this person because, like most cowards, she's also a huge brown-noser, so I lose.
8) I make it a point to use my lunch our to work out. The job is stressful, and I have some great options nearby, and Big Boss encourages us to take advantage because she knows this makes us all better at what we do. But Passive-Aggressive Boss apparently resents this, and once introduced me to a new staffer as someone who "exercises enough for us all," again with that sneer. (Because an hour a day is somehow excessive...?)
9) Everyone who's not me gets excessive praise for their efforts, even when those yield demonstrably smaller results than my work. When other people praise me, Passive-Aggressive Boss makes it a point to change the subject quickly, so the focus is never on my successes. When I have a great brainstorm, she tries to one-up it, or suggest that people she knows are more successful than people I know, etc.
10) And finally, the most petty grudge of all, but in my defense, dealing with this awful person makes me bitter: she looks like Jabba the Hutt. Seriously. Like sometimes during our meetings, she sits there and strokes her giant belly with her weird flabby little hands, and I catch myself looking around for the bowl of snack-frogs. Some day, I'm going to walk in there and she's going to encase me in carbonite and use me as a wall decoration.
Okay! Wow, that felt great. I now deeply love this place. I suspect I will have more to say later, because it ain't like she's making good and self-aware efforts to be a better human being.