work

That loathesome thing you do in order to feed your children / thing under the bed.

Everyone tells me that all people should work retail at some point in their lives. I didn't realize that as soon as I got a job in retail, that sentence would expand to "all people should work retail at some point in their lives BECAUSE they'll get to learn how cruel people can actually be".

First off, working in retail, I learned that management really is that bad. Like, yeah, my boss is a cool dude, but like, general grade for management has got to be like a C-. First off, I'm a part-time worker. Can you not schedule me for 8 hours a day on like all the days. I don't "want to go to there". I don't want to "live dat lyfe". I signed up for like 22 hours a week, guys; seriously, in my application, that's what I put. Also, when I wrote "open availability", I meant that I could work whenever you wanted me to work, not however long you wanted me to work. Any time, darlings; not ALL THE TIMES.

Also, I know I'm not an expert in ambiguous grocery store running, but seriously? If we have to do some of the stuff we do under the conditions which you are asking us to do it, y'all need to hire some more people. Hire the desperate high schoolers. Do it.

about co-workers: gotta give them a shoutout because they suffer with me and are my guardian angels at times. Other times, I understand why we don't hang out outside of work. Friends, when you call off work the morning of your shift, I get the evil eye thrown at ME when I come in, following the schedule, after refusing to pick up your shift?

Also, I'm tired of getting "talked to" about being slow in my work habits when 1) I'M JUST NEWLY COMING OUT OF THE TRAINEE PERIOD, and 2) I think it's awfully fishy that when I work the morning shift, you're done everything 3 hours before close, but when YOU work the morning shift, I have to work overtime to finish everything. Blame it on the newbie though, amirite?

HR exists for a reason, guys. Just because I work in the same building as you does NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, make it AT ALL EVEN REMOTELY OKAY for you to make inappropriate comments to me, about me, about my family; nor touch me, at all, anywhere, for any amount of time. I'm a woman human being, and you're violating things. Back off.

THE MUSIC: CAN WE NOT PLAY THE SAME PLAYLIST EVERY DAY 9 TIMES A DAY? KCOOLTHNX!

Now on to our lovely customers. Sure, maybe my store has a reputation for being "friendly", but when I go home, I daydream about bad things happening to you. Hm maybe I should try sounding less sociopathic, eh hem, "but when I go home, I cry tears of joy in fetal position in the corner of my room while whispering to myself "they're gone"." NOPE, no way to diminish my dislike for you.

DID YOU FORGET THAT WE, RETAIL WORKERS, ARE PEOPLE, TOO? CUZ I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DID.

Do NOT offer me advice on how to do my job better - I'm just following protocol.

Do NOT hit on me; neither your jokes nor comments are funny.

Do NOT ask me about every single ingredient in every single item.

Do NOT ask me to make special exceptions for you.

Do NOT tell me what we apparently "usually do" here.

Do NOT treat me like some kind of personal verbal punching bag because YOU'RE so discontent with YOUR own life that you need to thoroughly insult someone's intelligence.

Do NOT criticize me for not being an expert on EVERYTHING about the franchise.

Do NOT expect me to be making company-wide decisions.

Do NOT get aggravated when I break the news to you that I am neither qualified nor trained to do every single job in the store.

Do NOT get mad at ME when we run out of things or do not carry seasonal items (like ACs in October).

Just because I wear a uniform and stand behind the counter, does not mean that I gave up my humanity card.

OH, and I'm SO SO tired, so at the end of an 8 hour shift of standing and carrying heavy things and doing YOUR bth work, FORGIVE ME IF MY SMILE AND PERKINESS SLACKS.

If anything, I have to give my retail job a little thank you. Dear retail job, thank you for motivating me to get my GPA up and get a real person job because the thought of working here for the rest of my life makes me want to eat shards of glass.

posted to work by Nadine, Fashionista of the craft table (2 comments)


Candy, Counselor of the Poor,

Everything I've read, heard, and seen about working in retail is horrible. I am so sorry.

Morty, Fashion Designer of the Satisfied,

Tommy Bearson's shoes, and cellphone, are missing they say . Should I call his friend Carol ? Probably not Sinsinawa