I'm afraid, so afraid I won't be able to attend school this year because we don't have money. I love learning it's my escape but the possibility that this year it might not be it for me scares the shit out of me. Classes have already started so i'll probably be two weeks late this is my third year I can't miss a lot of work. I hate this feeling of not being able to help myself, of being completely powerless. It's a soul crushing feeling. I'm anxious, scared, so damn scared. It's like the universe wants to take all that is me away and leave me with nothing. It keeps drowning me over and over again, one day I don't think I will come up for air. It's so tiring, so frustrating to be in my position it's like have I not suffered enough? Have you not punished me enough? What do you want from me? I'm so lost, so angry right now. I cannot wait until this world ends so suffering can end too, I can't wait for nothingness to take over so I can not feel, see, touch, be.