religion

What it says on the tin.

I am 33. My father belonged to a branch of the Baptist church. He married my mother and forced her to give him 12 children. He threatened her with a gun if she tried to leave or refuse him sex. They had no car, he biked to his job in the city. He had his brother "watch" her when he left. She homeschooled my siblings and I as best she could. When I wa 16 I ran away. I was so uncomfortable talking to strangers that I was unable to go into the DMV to learn about driving exams let alone actually get a license. I lived under bridges til I was 21. I decided I wanted to try to join the military. So I went back and got a license after months of hard work. When I went in for recruitment I was unable to piss in front of anyone for a urine test due to being so cut off from social interactions growing up. I was turned away. 7 years ago I got a job at a factory and moved into a studio apartment down the street.I took advantage of the internet and learned where a few of my siblings ended up. Most were still in the convent. 2 were in prison. As far as I know I'm the only one with any semblance of normality in their life. I try talking to people at work but its honestly terrifying. I keep thinking about meeting this girl I've been talking to online but the idea.of having a conversation in person sounds like the worst form of torture imaginable. I hate God. I hate the man who came up with him. I hate that my life was completely ruined from the get go all because my mother and father based their life around and imaginary super being. Not a day goes by that I wish I could be normal.

posted to religion by Max, Warrior of the Rich (3 comments)


Bobbie, Devourer of the Poor,

What they already said...

Good that you are finding your way to be a productive person. Hope you continue, and find the right girl to biild a healthy relationship with too

Charlie, Counselor of the Homeless,

I agree with Dakota. And I am sorry that you experienced such a misrepresentation of who God truly is. And what is normal? Being happy, finding peace...I wish this for you!

Dakota, Engineer of Space,

That was not the result of mere religion. That was the result of a highly abusive man and the woman who apparently would not or could not refuse him.

That story is duplicated all over the world with or without religion playing a role.

Hope you continue to find your way. And that you find friends and piece together more and more of the life you want.

Being 'normal' doesn't really exist. Forgiving yourself, reaching your goals, that does.