I fell in love with a girl in high school. Its been many years now but not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her. She was beautiful to me. I don't know how someone like her could've liked me. But I changed so much after her. She was the greatest moment of my life and I know now that the memories of her will live with me until the day I die. Most people would think I'm crazy. But I know my heart better than anyone. I don't even think God could save me now.
My girlfriend asked me one day if i have ever fantasized about being with a guy. After feeling a little scared because i didnt know if this was some kind of test I said no but have wondered how it would be. So the next time we had sex she started playing with my ass and it was nice but didnt play into it. A few days later i walk in the room after getting home from work and she was masturbating to some bisexual porn she told me how much it turned her on so i sat down and watcbed it with her she noticed how hard i was getting. She had me undress and and went down on me she got her finger wet and slid it inside me and things have progressed since that day using a dildo on me and now wants me to be with another man. I am open to try but she wants me to pick up a guy and i have no idea how to go about this.I want do this for her but am scared to death that my guy friends will find out and out me to evryone including my family. Please help me....
I am married, happily. I love my husband very much he completes me in every aspect except when I want things.....in the bedroom. He is so sweet that when I want domination, he fears he will hurt me and no matter how many times I assure him he won't, I am only given tenderness when I require the opposite. In this aspect, I am attracted to his friend and I am quite taken with the idea of dragging this innocent little christian down to the world of sin, breaking him, stealing his fragile innocence and then training him in the ways of dominance, only going to him for my carnal needs and then leaving him when I am satisfied. Alas, it simply cannot be.
This woman pushed my last button. How can someone ask you the weather and you say "It's raining" and they ignore you. The see on the TV the forecast is rain, look out the window and see rain, their phone says it's raining then complain that it is raining and they " didn't know" all day.
How can someone ask you what 'you' want to do then immediately say "No, I want to do (whatever)" and does what they want then complain about you not going/doing whatever/wherever after they took out or did it without you?
How can someone make you pay for everything and you drive them everywhere then call you 'useless' and punch the shit out of you in public. It takes over 8 hours get to NYC from Cleveland. Yet I drive "too slow" so I'm useless?
Also, who punches the fuck of their spouse and then says they are calling the cops to "turn it around on you" so they can get a restraining order. And you show them it was recorded on dashcam they don't believe it.
Who teaches their kid to call you "Stupid Daddy" and "Loser" but yet sleeps all day leaving the kid unattended and the dad comes home from work at 1AM to see the kid watching TV while Mommy is snoring away then. Kid has a full diaper with crap running down the leg with milk all over the floor and food left out all day. Then they act surprised it's 1AM and say they need "14-16 hours" of sleep.
Who tells their husband to bring the car closer so they don't have to walk in the snow but when you leave to get the car in the parking lot to move up front they send you a text complaining how worthless you are and say deserve "someone richer, more mature" when you just left at their request.
Who tells their husband they can't call their parents to see how they are doing after a heart attack because she believes you are "talking shit" to them about her. But then complains they won't talk to her at all after she calls them to tell them to never talk to us again. Yet her husband is expected to drive her family around because they need a rental car and they don't have a credit card.
Who throws all her husband's shit out because she needs 'more room' and tells him they are moving but then ends up moving into a 1 bedroom and tells her husband "you can just sleep in the car. You have a shower and change room at work. You can wash up there. Stay in the apartment with (child) until I come home then go to your car so I can watch my shows."
I just realized how selfish she is and how stupid I was. I was being used and now I lose everything and given the courts I know I will be reduced to paying child support to visit my kid (if at all) because I know how they screw dads over. Despite the fact I make 3 times as much as her and I want custody of my kid because I actually took her places and did things with her like go to the park yet her mom was too tired to do anything. But my wife and our daughter thought it was funny her yelling "Stupid Daddy" on the plane to LA in July...
I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm lesbian, but I'm ashamed of telling anyone . I always say I'm straight, to some close friends I've even said I'm bi. My mom is really religious when I first came out to her she told me that "God" made Adam and evem that he intended for couples to be women and men not women and women, I had to tell her i was thimkimg. I'm thinking about telling my dad now , who I live with, but anytime I even bring that subject up , he says then same shit. He's homophobic, I don't know what to do...
Should a married, active duty marine be allowed to serve IF he is a confirmed adulterer?
Recently my long distance girlfriend broke up with me for accusing her of talking to some other guy and using Whatsapp to communicate with him. It all started cause I had access to our family plan account online. So I went on there and checked her calls. I did cause I had a feeling. Sure enough there was a incoming call at 10:30pm that lasted 96 minutes. I found this very odd and instantly got infuriated! I called the number the next day and a guy answered. I just hung up. I didn't want to bring it up to her cause then she would know that I was online snooping. she gave me access cause she said she had nothing to hide. Mind you that was a like 2 years ago. I gave in and asked her, of course she was mad. Not cause I was snooping, but because I was questioning her on being loyal. She claimed it was some guy she was helping out with his Taxes cause that's what she does. But for a client to call you on your personal cell phone at that time of night and almost talk for 2 hours smells like BS to me. Especially cause this guy is the brother in law of another client of hers that she had recently met as well and became friends with. In the short time of meeting these people she went to a birthday party of her new friends daughter and the guy was there obviously. And the following weekend went to some outdoor activity for a kid event. And of course dude was there but has no small children. My ex said that he went, but didn't go in the same car as them. And that her and her friend and the kids were mostly hanging out together while the dude and his brother looked at other stuff. I'm not buying it. She swears up and down that it nothing like that. And that she only talked to him that once. Long story short. I saved his number in my contacts and can see when he's on WA. One early AM she came on at 4:05am and he came on at 4:09am. Coincidence? She say yes. What do you think? Please give me your input.
I ws alwys a independent gurl..i fell in luv wid dis guy..he luvd me bck..though i ws in luv, i ws bit practical too..i use to do thngs fr him bt also made sure my morals r nt compromised..he luvd me alot nd respected me nd my independence..bt slowly slowly i luvd him too mch..tdy i am at a stage, whr i need him constantly..i cnt tke 1 step widout him..my lyf stops wen he is nt arnd..i jst ly dwn nd do nothin widout him..i want him fr evrythn..v fyt, v luv..bt since few mths, he hs bcme vry strange..he hs lost dat concern..he cares bt wen he wants..he luvs bt wem he wants..suddenly evrythn is abt his mood his situation..i hv to accept wat i get wen i get..he gets angry if i need him nd he is nt in a mood..he gets angry if i cry..i hv nvr beem so helpless bfr a guy..y is he behavin lik dis..he talks wen he wants..he meets wen he wants..he wil romance wen he wants..he wil b casual wen he wants..as if i hv no say in dis relation..v wil discuss wen he wants..i hv to b quiet wen he wants..i hv to talk wen he wants..i tried xplainin him he is doin wrong.i hv sme needs too..he is nt undrstndin..he dsnt want to undrstnd..i dnt wat to do..i luv him..bt he is doin wrong..y is he hurtin me so mch..y does he nt see wat m tryin to show him..1 sided relation cnt wrk..he cnt do as he pleases..he needs to hear me too..v both r suppose to b equal..bt here i am..alwys hurt nd upset widout him..nd he wil cme wen he wants..i wish i cud tke a stand fr myself..i wish i cud bcme d gurl i ws..wen did i bcme so weak..wen did i strtd takin so mch shit..y cnt i fyt bck..y cnt i stnd fr wats ryt..he alwys wins cz i dnt fyt mch..i giv in..cz he hs bcme my addiction..shud i rly suffer in silence bt nt ask fr help..hw cn he jst treat me lik dis..he jst orders nd wants thngs his way..m tired..m fuckin tired..my lyf hs bcme 1 hell..i jst wanna hit sme1 hard..i jst wanna b strong..
I am in a new relationship. Over two years have past since I last posted on this forum.
My ex is now in prison, pregnant, and married to new a person that she chose above all else. Her family is devastated but does not know how to move forward. Right now, with my life so busy, I am all of sudden stuck on thinking about how I moved forward. I am not sure how I did it or if I really ever moved on. I waited a year before getting involved in another relationship, and I am happy than I ever been. I just hope that I made the right choice on getting involved again and didn't interfere with my healing.
When I think of my ex lately, I just hope she finds her way back to her family and the love in her life. She always told me she was crazy, and I never believed her when she said it until it all hit home.
Now, still best friends with her sister, it is so strange seeing life go by. I find it so fucked up that your mind can screw you over after working so harder and achieving something so great. She and I had it all it all - over 250k annually salary and everything at the ages of 22...but it must mean something. People keep telling me money isn't everything and I learned that lesson hard during the divorce, and I need to keep learning.
Thanks for listening. I needed to vent after all this time.
I loved a boy when I was 17. I mean really loved.Like the kind of love that starts with rolling around on the grass of the park you started going to that summer. The kind of love where you give each other sharpie tattoos that only the two of you can decipher.The kind of love that has you lying to your parents about how bad the storm is just so the other can stay the night. The kind of love that helps each other pick out the perfect Halloween costume. The kind of love that holds sock races on the kitchen floor on lazy Sunday mornings. The kind of love that makes you go to soccer tournaments even though you hate sports. The kind of love that makes him leave roses in your locker because the two of you reached the 1 year mark. The kind of love that leads to making love for the first time with two of you while he's house sitting for his Aunt and you can't believe your parents believed you were spending the whole weeks at a friends. The kind of love that has you promising no one else in eachother's arms after. The kind of love that makes your friend circle say will you two please invite me to the wedding. The kind of love that makes you dance your heart out in a poofy dress at prom even though he can't dance worth a dime.The kind of love that makes you save up the little money you earned working at Subway after school to buy him the guitar he'd been oogling at for over a year. The kind of love where you can't stop smiling at him as he taps his steering wheel to the beat of the Def Leppard song you guys are blaring to on the highway. The kind of love that keeps you in the room holding his hands while he stares at his mother as she passes away from the brain tumor she'd been diagnosed with a month earlier. The kind of love that keeps you stroking his neck in the car on that rainy night in March. The kind of love that has you running to all his classes that week to tell the teacher's he's only wants to come back to school and be treated normally.. no cards or weirdness. The kind of love that has you running out to stop his 14 year old sister from hiding behind a dumpster in the parking lot during the funeral. The kind of love that makes her your sister too and that feeling will never go away. The kind of love that leads to fights because you are a teenager and not a therapist. The kind of love that leaves you begging him to hold you after. The kind of love that keeps you wound to him over 2 years later convincing yourself that he will get back to how things were before. The kind of love that leaves you in utter agony when you figure out he won't. The kind of love that leaves you 19 years old and walking around Walmart by yourself in circles every night for weeks while your room mate blows your phone up wondering if your in a ditch somewhere. The kind of love that leaves you staring in the campus lounge glass walls at night because you see him in there playing pool with your old group of friends. The kind of love that makes you want the best for him even when it kills you to think that that isn't you anymore. The kind of love that has you deleting his number and blocking him and all your friends. The kind of love that has you wishing you didn't remember his phone number by heart all these years. The kind of love that leads you to fail out of college because every waking moment was spent crying over him. The kind of love that has your parents talking about their concerns in the next room. The kind of love that leads you to tell all your new coworkers about him at the job you found. The kind of love that leads you to find flaws in every man that messages you on that dating site your best friend signed you up for because it has been a year and you really should start trying to move on. The kind of love that leads you to go on a first date only to break down on the poor schmuck because he wasn't him. The kind of love that starts to convince you you are never going to be normal again. The kind of love that leads to a couple month long flings but nothing worth while. The kind of love that makes it difficult to breath when your old mutual friend whom you haven't seen in years goes out to lunch and mentions he's moved out to California and is working his dream job at Google. The kind of love that leaves you to choke out "oh how great for him.." even though it hurt like hell to hear that tiny inkling about his life 2 years later. The kind of love that makes you get up from the table and go cry your eyes out in the Olive Garden bathroom for 10 minutes. The kind of love that makes you consider swerving off a bridge on your drive home. The kind of love that forces you to get up and message another guy on that site the next night. The kind of love that makes you agree to meet him. The kind of love that makes you think he's not him.. but he's got his life together and seems nice while you talk. The kind of love that makes you go home and miss him still. The kind of love that makes you go out on a second date even though you clearly are just trying to fill the hole. A kind of love that leads to you eventually bringing this new person home to meet your family for some fucked up reason. The kind of love that makes your family love this new person and start to think you've finally moved on. The kind of love that makes you think well at least now they won't worry anymore. The kind of love that has you saying yes 6 months later when the new person asks you to move in even though you can't stop thinking about how you still love him. The kind of love that leads you to text him a heart on the anniversary of his mother's death 5 years later after not having spoken to him in 3. The kind of love that leaves you shattered when he text back "Haha did you borrow her phone? Love you too." The kind of love that leaves you driving around town for 5 hours that night thinking about who he thought had texted him. The kind of love that makes you wonder if she has heard anything about you. The kind of love that leaves you crawling in bed next to the new guy wondering what the hell is wrong with you. The kind of love that leads you to fake 2 Christmas's with him. The kind of love that keeps you up at night writing on Fearlessblogging about how it's been 5 years since you have spoken to him and there isn't a day that goes by that you don't still think of him. The kind of love that leads you to start looking back into school. The kind of love that makes you think well at least I should try to do something I love even if it's not with the person I love. The kind of love that makes you tell the new person you are so sorry but he isn't the one. The kind of love that makes you move back in with your parents at 24. The kind of love that makes you find a new job to work with school. The kind of love that makes you think I want to be a lawyer. The kind of love that makes you think I'm starting to feel better doing this. The kind of love that makes you a little freaked out when a new new person starts at your job and you find yourself staring at him. The kind of love that makes you leave work and ask yourself what was that all about? The kind of love that makes you get up and do your make up and look in the mirror and think what am I doing I haven't really done this since him. The kind of love that makes you specifically talk to new new person as soon as you get there. The kind of love that makes you leave and freak out a little when you get a friend request from new new person over the weekend and then leaves you asking wait do I like new new person? The kind of love that leads you to message new new person about the movie he told you to watch even though you were really just looking for a an unweird way to strike up a conversation. The kind of love that leads you to unblock him and look at his profile for the first time in 6 years knowing perfectly well it may kill you to see something on there. The kind of love that leads you to see his new girlfriend's name is Tess and they have been together for 3 years. The kind of love that leaves you asking.. hey, where is that heart break I had braced myself for when I went to look. The kind of love that leaves you feeling weird but then undeniably happy when new new guy pops up on your messenger at that exact moment. The kind of love that leaves you hesitant but oddly excited when he asks if you want to go see the new Wonder Woman movie. The kind of love that makes you pick out an outfit 2 hours early and freak out about why your trying so hard. The kind of love that makes your heart race the whole time you're in that dark theater wondering if it is a date. The kind of love that literally makes every nerve in your body explode when he puts his arm around you. The kind of love that has you melting on the inside as you snuggle up to him. The kind of love that makes you think.. wait I am no longer referring to him as new new person in my head but as.. him. The kind of love that makes you awkward when you say good bye in the parking lot but still smiling at each other the whole time. The kind of love that has you driving home in the dark freaking out about what is happening inside of you. The kind of love that makes you get home and pull up a picture of him and think wow I feel like a teenager again and it's because of you. The kind of love that makes you go to bed wondering if this could really be happening. The kind of love that makes the two of you flirt for weeks on end at work. The kind of love that has you looking at him from afar and then blushing when he looks back. The kind of love that makes your coworkers start to notice the two of you can't stop smiling at eachother. The kind of love that leads to a couple more movies and late night Ihop dates. The kind of love that eventually leads to a nightime walk on the river front where you tell him how broken you have been for the past 5 years. The kind of love that makes you tell him that for the first time you feel excited about life. The kind of love that hears him when he tells you about his past love. The kind of love that brings you closer knowing you are not the only one to feel so lost. The kind of love that makes you believe him when he says you are the reason he wants to get up and get to work as early as possible. The kind of love that makes you believe him when he says he really hasn't stopped thinking about you since you met. The kind of love that makes you push in close when he pulls you in towards his chest. The kind of love that eventually leads to a kiss in front of the lit up city skyline across the river. The kind of love that leaves you feeling like you were completely knocked off your feet by this kiss. The kind of love that leaves you crying your eyes out with tears of joy the whole ride home. The kind of love that makes you pull up your blanket and think of him all night long. The kind of love that leads you to go to his apartment for the first time. The kind of love that makes you watch movies and wonder if he expects anything to happen. The kind of love that makes you kind of hope it does. The kind of love that makes you fall asleep after talking to eachother for hours in eachother's arms. The kind of love that makes you stare at him in the dark and wonder how a person could be so perfect in every way. The kind of love that makes you wake up just to roll around in bed for hours the next day. The kind of love that leads to making love after doing this for 3 weeks straight. The kind of love that makes you think.. I think I love him. The kind of love that leads you to take a fall vacation together. The kind of love that makes you so happy on the beach that you could just die then and there and everything would be just fine. The kind of love that leads you to ask if he would want to meet you family in November. The kind of love that makes you think I haven't thought about old guy in months. The kind of love that makes you think.. since when did he become old guy? The kind of love that makes you a complete train wreck at the idea of your family possibly not liking him for whatever reason. The kind of love that makes you so happy you just kiss him for 5 minutes straight outside the house after everyone in your family seemed to really like him. The kind of love that makes you drive home just wanting to tell him how much you love him. The kind of love that makes you come back to Fearless blogging to tell everyone that had to read your old miserable blogs that you are going to tell him. The kind of love that makes you love again. The kind of love that makes you forget you were in love at 17.
So I've been with the father of my child for about 6 years now on and off. We have done some very hurtful things to each other over those years. Things that have crushed us both. We recently got back together in March and have been together since. We have deleted all social media to avoid any drama and any untruthfulness. Or so I thought. I recently got word from a few friends that he was posting on Snapchat a few weeks ago. This is not the first time that we have deleted everything and he has snuck back on. This made time number four for him. Our trust is very broken. Almost nonexistent but we have been trying to trust each other since we have been together. He of course denied this and then when he got home he walked up to me and "admitted" his truth. I still don't believe what he says. I've known the past two days and it has been killing me. I could hardly kiss him I was so hurt. I would just like to live a peaceful and happy life without having to worry about him spewing more lies but I don't want to hurt our child. A little advice would be very helpful
I have so many questions i want to ask you but i just don't know how and because i know for a fact that my voice would break and tears would stream down my face if i were to ask you in person. So here i am, finding myself writing this letter. These days you just seem to be ignoring me like i'm your worst enemy.
How? that would be my first question.
How was it so easy for you to just go? to just leave me and not even look back.
Why would you leave, or why would you leave like that? no explanation, no real goodbye, nothing
Was it even real? what we had, i mean. was it? because i have been dreaming so much about you lately that it seems like i can't tell what's real and what's not anymore.
Lovely, oh lovely. i wish you didn't shatter my heart. i wish you didn't make all these promises just to break them. i wish that you could have been honest with me from the beginning. honest about your intention and feelings fro me.
the last time we were standing in front of each other, looking into your deep brown eyes that had a hint of green it made my knees go weak and my heart beat faster than i have felt. how could one feel so much and that other just not at all? i guess i'll never know because being the person i am. i tend to give people all of me. always. with you it was no different. i gave you every ounce of me, made you my favorite person in this shitty world and all i did was hope that i was your favorite too. But this is my farewell, my love. I hope that part of you never forgets me, no matter how important i was to you. i hope that no matter where life takes you, it takes you some place happy. Just because you did the wrong things to me, does not mean you deserve the wrong things done to you. You deserve to be happy, and i am sure of that.
Gary Indiana 11 people proclaim to be Serial Killers and one looks like that guy they're looking for in Delphi . Which by the way is another issue Delphi should be called the assault capital of The State
okay, so I was having this heavy debate with my boyfriend of 3 years about having a career after marriage (being a woman) and he said basically that whoever makes more money in the relationship (usually men because that just how society operates) gets to have their dream “work the job” while the other person has to just “compromise” and “sacrifice” their dreams for their partner so both of you and your kids can live a “good life” - good life meaning nice cars and money -
so just because a man always makes more - because that is how the world is- the woman is expected to make the sacrifice
he also said I would have to give up my career for the kids cause I'm a woman -and that there is no possibility of man and women sharing duties equally - one person HAS TO work more - to be able to get by. Also, the guy already has duties outside the house like owing the lawn/ fixing things around the house etc. so he shouldn't be expected to do kitchen work.
I kind of get that but how come the woman has to be the on to give up her career OR HIS other option was you work + take care of household - and mind you, this is a gigantic joined family household. How in the hell would I manage two full time jobs pretty much. Physically and mentally exhausting. I know some indian mothers do it (like his) but I know I couldn't nor do I want that pressure and responsibility.
he also said that he would work so much so that his wife would not have to work.
that is great- but what if she wanted to work for her satisfaction, passion (like me).
i don’t want to be mooching of someone and have things handed down to me - I never have, my whole life and never would want to rely on a man like that. I want to earn it - i want to put effort everyday - i want my life to have MEANING AND PURPOSE - and that doesnt mean staying at home and cooking and waiting for you to return from work and give me money -
He then argued i would get tired of working myself in whatever job after 4-5 years Eventually - the hype is over - but I believe i will be passionate about my career forever like some people work for YEARS. Besides, I am going to university for a reason.
He also said we would need to be saving money so our kids and grandkids could have it good. fair enough, But i don't think like that.
what are you saving for? LIVE your damn life right now . REWARD yourself - go on vacation, have fun, help others, give your kids a good life - (especially cause I never have been able to do things because of money problems my whole life) and if I'm going to work so hard to have a good career- of coarse i will spend some money that I MYSELF EARN.
that being said, spend with limits and save for your children's education and what not - but grandkids? I am not thinking about other generations at this point - WHO KNOWS what the world will be like then -
i have different values because I have been raised in a low-income household my whole life - and always had to (continue to) work for whatever I want in my life -my family had some tragic experiences in loosing money by bad business partners and hence, also why I want to be independent- have my own dreams, money and spend it by helping my family, rewarding myself and giving my children opportunities. BUT I'm not going to slave away and spend my life cooking and raising kids and wait for my husband to return from work to give me money and have sex. He would work full time and I would have a part-time job and full time work at home (cooking for his huge joined family; i don't even like indian food....) anyways, that besides the point.
LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS LADIES AND MEN.
So. I was with a girl for a year and a half. She left me about six months ago. Mostly because i lost my confidence and allowed the opinions of others to get to me. I reconnected about a month ago. But i really fucked up. I was clingy and desperate. I blew up her phone and I feel horrible. Now, I'm seeing her in a week and a half to return the last our of things. I'm still madly in love with her. How can I get her back? I hate to beg. But this is the girl i want to live my days out with.
It's been 5 months already and I'm still not over my ex!
Jesus, what's wrong with me. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to cry at night, I don't want to keep thinking about him. I just want to let go, move on, get to the next chapter of my life. So why!? Why do I keep contacting him, why do I keep putting myself through this. Why can't I just cut the chord. Why am I so scared to have him disappear on me. I mean he left, he's the one who broke up with me, so why do I want to still be with him !
I need advise please. I am sexually attracted to my 15 year old (to be 16 next month) stepdaughter. I'm petrified for all the obvious reasons, her age, the fact that she's my stepdaughter, the fact that I'm married to her mom, and a billion other reasons that you can probably think of on your own. I'm also concerned because I think she has noticed that she arouses me when she's next to me and her skin touches mine. The first time she noticed that she aroused me, she became somewhat distant with me and would try not to be next to me. But recently she has been getting close to me again. She recently brushed my penis with her foot. I want to think it was an accident, but it happened about three times within the span of an hour. I got the feeling that she liked it. While due to my attraction to her I like the idea that she might enjoy knowing that she arouses me and might even purposely be starting to do things to arouse me, she is under age and more importantly, she's my stepdaughter. I don't want to ruin what we have by doing something stupid, but at times I feel like I can't control my feelings. What do you think? Has anyone been in this situation before? Are there any stepdaughters out there that can give me some constructive advise? Thank you.
False hope has become my life the past couple weeks. The one guy who could make me truly smile or laugh anytime or blush whenever he holds my hand, he’s finally gone. Had all these signs that he was coming back but then they would just be a mistake or him being nice. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve never felt so broke before and I’ve been through some bad shit. Just makes me realize how much I cared about him, well care about him. It won’t go away anytime soon. No matter what I did, nothing brought him back so that means he’s truly moved on. It kills me. Just no words. I gave him one Kat gift and it was a canvas print with pictures of him and our son on it and I guess he liked it. Just glad I could give him one last thing to make him smile. I just can’t be dragged around anymore or played a fool. I don’t know if I’ll ever get past this but I just need to forget it because I am literally feeling the knife go in and twist. I’ve been wanting to give up but I’ve been having these dreams of my great grandma and her telling me not to give up and to Never Get Discouraged so I thought it was a sign but I was wrong. I give up, I’m done, I quit. I got discouraged and I can’t take it anymore. He’s happy though and that’s good. Life goes on right. At least one of us made it out.
So easy to blame white people for your lack of progress in life. Why wouldn't you want your city to become productive and safe. You enjoyed the abandoned buildings the Government handouts and gang infested blocks ? Not being racist its just an observation of how communities go to shit when it's an all black neighborhood The more blacks that move into a neighborhood, the worse it becomes, especially since whites, the ones paying the taxes to keep the neighborhood running, when we move out. , you totally destroy everything in your path . Despite these problems, social categories are often times completely dismissed when it comes to the NIGGER problem . Choosing how to socially identify members of social populations is not a trivial matter it is however self-evident . Here it is November 5th I was hoping civil war I wanted so bad to kill a few niggers. I would have beat you like Jon Grissom beat Corey Feldman
Wishes to be granted by Four Face Buddha:
1)Facebook username kim.kyoungjae.568 whose facebook profile name shin Jimin wants to be in facebook relationship and real relationship with Facebook profile name woonhyunie.
2)Facebook profile name woonhyunie wants to be in facebook relationship and real relationship with Facebook username kim.kyoungjae.568 whose Facebook profile name shin Jimin.
3) Facebook username kim.kyoungjae.568 whose facebook profile name shin jimin wants to love her boyfriend by the Facebook profile name woonhyunie.
4) Facebook profile name woonhyunie wants to love his girlfriend by the Facebook username kim.kyoungjae.568 whose Facebook profile name shin Jimin.
5) Facebook username kim.kyoungjae.568 whose Facebook profile name shin Jimin and Facebook profile name woonhyunie want to be in Facebook relationship, relationship and real relationship with each other.
Went to dinner with my crush. I enjoyed the time with her. She asked why? Said we didn't talk much. I feel that I did most of the talking. Very confused. Part of me just wants to drop her but she is my crush. I just can't shake the hold she has on me. This sucks.
I'm 54 attractive red head ,large 36 GG breasts ,I'm single and I go on chatlines most nights and chat to strange men about fantasies ect ,these men bring me to orgasam ,,I usulay finger masterbate or use sex toys ,so horny all the time ,UK
I came here hoping to receive some advice with something I did almost three years ago. I am currently 21 and when I was three days away from my 19th birthday I had sex for the first time. Although this would be memorable occasion for most people I have been questioning myself and wondering how I went down that road for the past 2 1/2 years. At the time, me and my brother were on vacation visiting family in South America when we went to spend a week with one of our uncles and his family. It was during my week there that I have not been able to stop thinking what I have done because to this day I keep remembering the nights where me and my cousin had sex. It all started when we saw each other after not seeing each other in about three years. At first he was all cold towards me but by the end of the night we were close friends again. The next few days we would spend the day talking to each other, walking by the river, playing video games, in short we were almost inseparable. When the weekend came my uncle decided to throw a party for our arrival. On the night of the party we got even closer because we drank and got really close when we danced. As the party came to an end I headed to bed because I got a little tipsy and he accompanied into the bedroom. As I threw myself onto the bed he lied down beside me and hugged me. I told him to leaver alone because I was sleepy but instead he kissed me. I was somewhat surprised but at the same time I knew it was going to occur because I knew he had feelings for me. After some kissing we started to make out and things got really steamy. It was then when I decided to stop what we were doing because I thought it wa wrong, after all we are cousins. That night we didn't have sex but the following day we couldn't keep our eyes of each other. I knew he wanted me and he knew that I wanted him. The second night I decided to have sex with him because I reasoned with myself saying that he's only my half cousin. The first night we had sex all my worries disappeared and he even admitted to me that he loved me. The next few nights we would have sex for almost 2 hours , always worried that someone in the house would wake up and hear what we were doing. When it was time for me to leave we kissed good bye and promised to skype and text each other. When I returned to the U.S we would skype each other and talk about those nights. For the next few months we remained in contact but after about 7 months he would not talk to me with much frequency. I decided that it was a good thing because that way I could forget about him. Although I managed to forget about him for a few months he contacted me once again and a year after our sexual encounter we were talking to each other again. By this time I started fooling myself that he really loved me and that I loved him also. again he would stop contacting me but this time I would start to get depressed. My depression was so strong that I would barely eat or sleep, when I did sleep I would cry myself to sleep, I isolated myself from everyone, and began to hate myself for what I did. Again he contacted me but as hard as tried to forget about him I would find myself anxiously responding his messages and awaiting for his response. 2 1/2 years later I am still trying to forget about him and what I did with him those few nights. I find that it has become difficult for myself to forget about him because caused myself to believe that we truly loved each other. I came to this place hoping to find some answers that would help me find a way to permanently forget him, resist the urge to text him, and stop fantasizing over the idea that if given another opportunity I would repeat the same mistake I committed those almost three years ago. I am about to finish college and I had not had a single relationship because I was so devoted to someone who I know realized only used me to satisfy his sexual desires. I truly want to get over him so that I would be able to start a true relationship and be able to experience what it really means to be in love.
Deputies in Arkansas deal with multiple domestic violence calls 3 children found dead from starvation and dehydration , and they stumbled across a wanted drug dealer . One drug dealer and an entire community left in shambles-- Blame the dealer he made you buy his shit. He made you shoot up and not feed your kids . Then you'll punish me for saying that kids cute . I will take her home with me a few days.
I feel like having sex with my sister, she is acting slutty atound me sometimes she unzips her jeans in front of me and sometimes she touches my cock purposely and smiles at me while doing it.I unzipped her jeans one time and she slapped me.I feel like I should rape her.What should I do?
We have been dating for a few months, he's 21 and I'm 19. He likes to role-play incest situations, like pretend I'm his younger sister. It's been fun in kind of a weird way. He has been begging me to tease and seduce my actual brother. Dressing sexy around him, brushing up against him, just little things. My confession is I fucking love it and I get so excited when I think about how far I can take this.
My life has just gone to shambles and I just don’t know what to do. I finally told my best friend, of 21 years, about my past and it blew up. I have been living two separate lives for way to long and they clashed together at very bad timing. I didn’t tell her years ago because in my head I felt I was protecting her. I didn’t want her to look at life different because if what happened to me. She’s three years younger than me and it just made sense to me. But then everything crashed at once and I had no one to turn to and went to her and it didn’t go as I thought. She doesn’t believe a word of it because she has never heard of the people and none of the stuff adds up to her and I get it because I kept it from her for a reason. I just thought she would be understanding and supportive but instead she thinks I’m lying and how she thinks of me as a person really opened up my eyes. Like how could she think I would do something like that? Am I really that bad of a person? Maybe I am living the wrong life. I’m a single mom to the most handsome one year old boy and I wouldn’t change it for the world but maybe I’m not a good mom. Maybe I’m raising him wrong. I don’t know. I just want him to be happy and know that he can do anything he wants in life. I want no one to hold him back or tell him he can’t do something. He’s an amazing person and he’s only one, such an amazing road he has ahead of him. Just hope I can help him accomplish goals in his life and not drag him down. His dad is an amazing father and will always be there for him no matter what. I made a mistake losing him but that was my fault and I take the blame. I’m just glad he’s in our sons life as much as he is. I couldn’t ask for a better father for him. He doubts himself to though and he shouldn’t, he’s doing everything right and he’s just amazing at being a dad. But me, I just don’t know anymore. I’m just going to have to take time to think and figure things out. Maybe I’ll be ok someday, maybe I’ll just have to take a smile through life, I don’t know. I know I’ll never have my true best friend back though and it kills but that was my fault. I just am so lost and want no one else to feel like they had any let if this, it’s just how I let my life fall. I’m just hoping I’ll be ok someday and can put this past me and just enjoy life with my number one man, my son. Don’t want him thinking his mom is a piece of shit. I stay strong for him but sometimes I lose it. His dad is happy and I want it to stay that way, he deserves it. I have no blame to him at all and I want him to know that. He’s perfect the way he is and again is doing everything right, just stay happy. I’ll figure things out someday, just want to work on being a better mom for now and taking care of my boy. The situation with my best friend I feel will never be resolved and I have to deal with that. I just want my son to see two happy parents, that’s all I want. He has one right now and hopefully soon two. I guess I’m just venting to get this all out. No one here judges and I like that. I’m just in a dark place looking for the light to guide me out, hopefully I’ll find that soon.
I broke up with my boyfriend three years and one month ago and I feel like I still love him. I have dated other people since, even having a 5 month relationship, but it never feels right. Alls I do is break peoples hearts because I start relationships with the hope I'll meet someone who I will love as much as I loved/love?? him but it never works out and I will start to avoid their texts, calls and attempts to see me. I don't think I will ever meet anyone who I love as magically as I loved him. He was my soul mate and I cannot imagine, nor do I really want a relationship with someone other than him. I've tried dating, relationships, texting people, and being on my own just concentrating on myself and nothing changes. I feel empty.
lost and confused other times so certain and determined? Is it possible to feel all that at once? To love 2 people at the same time? To be In Love with one and to Love the other? Whats the disparity? how do you know where to go, where to stay? One who broke your heart into pieces and one who put it back together? Do feelings ever go away? Was I to Naive? Gullible? Trusting? How do you ever know its not a one sided feeling? It eats you alive....
So I don't know what to do. A little background before I ask though. I've been friends with my ex ever since high school, which was almost 7 years ago. I moved far away which broke us up. We've always been very good friends that stay open with each other even when life gets crazy. Now we have always respected each others relationships, because we have our own wants and needs that come with having a life. Recently my ex got a new boyfriend that didn't take to kindly to us being friends because we use to date. Now I see why it would bother him, but he doesn't even care to meet me so I can show him what our relationship is like which is just friends. I even have a girlfriend that I'm very in love with that accepts my friendship with my ex. Normally I wouldn't push back because this is my friends relationship, but for me some red flags are firing from the way he's acting that scare me for her sake. He seems like a manipulative person that gets jealous when he sees something that threatens his control of her. Last night my friend called me in tears because he told her that it was him or me. I came to the conclusion that in order not to hurt her I needed to back away without leaving her if she needed me. Now I'm leaving for a training that will take 4 months that also takes away my phone. I can still send her letters and she can to me but I'm worried. She doesn't want to lose our friendship as much as i do. I don't know what to do in the short time I have left. All else fails I'm going to confront him, especially if he thinks he can control or hurt her. Any advise helps, even if it's how to approach him.
Hi. I've been meaning to talk to you for awhile. I recently told you I was thinking about the post you wrote on this website when we were still together. That, among a slew of other things come to mind when I think of the moments in our relationship where I was truly happy. Now, we talk and at first we just couldn't get over each other and we still retained all those feelings that I thought I had left the night I left you in your driveway, the day after where I went to the airport, and the subsequent weeks where we decided enough was enough and that we wouldn't continue our relationship any longer. The transition was honestly one of the more difficult parts of our relationship I had come to believe, but talking with you now seems to be harder still. I know we both used the excuse (as real as it was sometimes) that we were busy, trying to make new friends, trying to fit in, get involved, pass our classes, etc. yet we still managed a friendship even then. I think it's been this holiday season that is suppose to be filled with laughter, joy, contentment, and relaxation that's really taken a toll on both of us. The night you admitted you had cried I wanted to comfort you and reassure you that I was still there for you. I don't think I did a very good job of it and I was worried you'd try something. I couldn't stand the thought of you shutting me out completely, but I felt there was nothing more that I could do. I'm nosy, yes. I probably won't change my ways anytime soon. I'll always be curious and I'll always wonder why you were feeling the way you were. I might stop asking and prying but that doesn't mean I've stopped caring completely. This is the dilemma I struggle with today. We've drifted apart not only in a romantic way (which is what the end goal was anyways so I'm not conpining about that) but also with our friendship. Of course I miss being your rock and the person you could turn to to try and cheer you up or be your support. I still have flashbacks to those times which means I still have the urge to regress to the way things were before. Thinking back gives me fond memories of what once was and looking at what we have currently just seems sad and broken in comparison. I think we both are. Every time we try and have a conversation anymore, it never seems to go anywhere. I don't laugh as often and I usually end up feeling some pang of regret. I clearly recall the night I had to leave and how I was almost strong enough to make it to the car until I was called back into your arms. So the question now stands-- how can two people who once had such strong feelings for each other grow to be complete strangers? Iut goes like this in my mind: there are times when I feel like I'm drowning in a pond of thoughts and memories of you and you're looking down from above watching me struggle. You don't offer to help me; you don't even acknowledge that I'm struggling. I help myself out of the water only to find you staring like the ordeal was something you'd rather not be a part of. We look at each other and realize there's nothing left so see in each other. We turn our back to each other and walk away without a backward glance. l don't long to go back to the way things were when we dated, but to have that companionship back. I want to be one of your best friends again. I want you to be able to talk to me openly and freely about things on your mind, but only the things you want to talk about. I'll try to make a larger effort to stop badgering you about sore subjects and to try and focus on the more positive aspects of each of our lives. I want to be able to complain to you about homework, finals, my suite mates, and to bicker about politics again. I want to know about your little victories and about your endless struggle to find food on campus and at home. I'd like to know what's troubling you if it really is that bad or even if it isn't. I just want a friendship back.
I'm sorry but for the salary I'm paid - I can document the issue, Work to get the facts straight, liaise with different departments, figure out the limits of my "empowerment" to solve the problems (that's a laugh), then attempt to tag in superiors when all of that fails. I can also be robotically polite since I have to do this 17 times per hour face to face, over the phone, while being in physical pain because physical distress is a regular aspect of retail work.
NO, I do NOT have the wherewithal to also be chatty and smiley on top of all of that. I don't want to talk about whether those colors match or the fact that YOU're "hot in here" or the really popular show that was on last night or you asking me personal questions. If the lack of a smile and a serious as a heart attack demeanor communicates an attitude to you - do like you tell me:
Stop being overly sensitive,
Stop acting like a special snowflake
Grow up, man up, put your big girl panties on
Realize you're not the only one with a difficult job
Adjust to the fact that the world is not fair
I am never unhappy when a customer hangs up on me. Never have been. I have followed up if I owed a customer and answer in case it was a disconnection and not a hang up.
Funny how I realize I DO NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE between a hangup and a disconnection - unless the customer announces it.
Funny how EVERY customer I've ever encountered SWEARS that they do. The line disconnects and I am told or someone else is told "the agent hung up on me."
You give yourselves permission to have human frailties - to be tired for example. But not me: I'm lazy
you make mistakes - I'm a liar
When you are mistreated or criticized - the other is racist, even if a minority themselves.
When you mistreat and criticize - you have righteous anger.
You don't get what you want and you deliver personal attacks - but that's ok right, Ms. Customer???
If I EVER spoke to ANYone as you do - I would be threatened with losing my job. I have NEVER had a problem keeping the conversation about the problem. Even if I go off on a tangent to make a point - I'm still describing and comparing situations.
I'm not talking about your clothes or your hair - unless that IS the situation like at a hair salon or when uniforms indicate roles.
A store manager told us there is no point in our complaining because nothing will change anyway.
As the holidays approach, I pray for all customer service associates who deal face to face with the general public.
That's great if sex is the end goal. It doesn't rate much when sex is not the end goal. Stop talking sh** and pretending not to get that very simple, easy to understand point.
I am over being hurt by you. I will no longer hold my breath waiting on you to show me glimmer of attention. You asked me to be patient and wait that you would call me when you can. I am done just done with you. We have been together for over 21 years and that is enough. I will never ever be enough for you. I have always been second best. Done done done and done. I understand you are sick and are going through a hard time but I have stood by you no matter what. You always said one day we would find ourselves together. You would leave your wife and I would leave my husband but no. I am done being you second best. Trust me I am so much better than 2nd place. So I will walk away with my head held him. Good luck to you! I wish you all the best. No more hurt and no more tears.
does it exist? what do you think about this cringy vision?
I kissed my ex tonight to see what feelings I would get. I got a lot but it wasn’t the same as what it used to be but I know it’s cause we’re not actually dating and I have other shit in my head. But he has a girl he’s hooked to. I tested him tonight but he doesn’t know I did. This anonymous person who has been texting me I swear is his girlfriend and he doesn’t believe me. So they emailed me saying how they got a wedding Saturday and how she’s gonna rock his world blah blah blah so I gave him an offer for this weekend and made it so it has to be Saturday night and shocker he has a wedding with her. Like I don’t know what to do because I don’t want him to get hurt but he doesn’t believe me and I’m just so exhausted and dying inside. I want to fight and save him from something he might regret but I give up and I told him that. I don’t know what else to do, I’ve tried everything. I’m causing him more stress I think than anything so I told him I’m gone. And that I won’t tell him about anymore anonymous messages I get. I just can’t do it anymore. I quit.
I have a good job, a nice car and my own place. I am Intelligent, thoughtful, caring, compassionate, honest, trustworthy and funny.
Despite having all of the qualities that women should be looking for I am finding it hard to find anyone that can have romantic feelings for me. I am successful at finding dates and getting all the way to home base but when it comes to really having a committed relationship I seem to be the guy that women just want to have fun with. I am not the guy they want to settle for.
I just spent about three months courting a woman who loved everything about me. We spent nights together, went on fun trips, cooked together, cuddled, kissed and everything in between. She even bragged to her co workers and friends about how great I am to her. About a week ago she bluntly told me that she knows in her heart that it could never be a long term thing with me even though she is very happy. She just can't feel romantic feelings towards me. She said that she really wanted it to happen but it wasn't and she does not want to waste either of our time.
So what gives? Does anyone here have any insight as to why it might be so difficult?
So I used to post on here all the time and haven’t in a while and want to get back to it because I’m in a dark place right now and I’m hoping writing this all out will help. I’m a 27 year old female and my life is in shambles right now. I have a one year old son who is my life and his father who I am madly and deeply in love with but who lost feelings for me. Let me start from the beginning. I met him when I was 24 and it was seriously love at first sight. He was an amazing man and still is to this day. We had an amazing relationship. We had our ups and downs but it was one of those relationships where you thought it would last forever. Like I was going to be his last kiss, it felt amazing. Then I found out I was pregnant and our lives changed. Was accidental and I was never suppose to be able to have kids so a big shock. But he stood up to the plate better than anyone could have. He was going to be an amazing dad. He was so supportive through the whole pregnancy and helped me with everything and got me anything I needed. Our son was born in May 2016 and it was amazing. But then it went down hill. After having my son I completely shut down and blocked him out of my life. When I was 14 I had a very bad relationship that lasted over a year and the guy was abusive mentally and physically. But I was young and would forgive him every time something happened thinking it would be better now, it never got better. It got to the point where rape was a more than one time occurrence, it was horrible. I ended it finally and never faced what really happened to me. Just kept it locked up for years. My ex knew about it and tried helping me and getting me to go get help but I always just said I was fine. Then when I had my son it all came back. I had a son now, what if he treats a girl that way someday? What would I do? Why would he do that? All those thoughts went through my head and I couldn’t stay stable. I shut down and shut him out and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. We broke up February 2017. It was all my fault. I realized that to late though. In July 2017 I realized I was going to fight for him back but I wanted to become what he deserved, which meant I needed to fix myself and face my past. I started group therapy and it did amazing things for me, helped me move on and overall be happier with my life. Me and my friend even went up to Bemidji, MN in August because that’s where my ex’s reservation was. He’s native American, Ojibwe tribe. We visited the White Earth Indian Reservation and it was amazing to see, really opened up my eyes as to how they live. We got a tour of the town and the history on it and it was an amazing day. While we were there, there happened to be a huge bon fire that night and a pow wow and talk about amazing, to know my sons dad has those origins is amazing. There was a little native boy who came up to me and Ill never forget it. His name was Anong, which means star, and he was the cutest! He was 4 years old and he was tugging on my shirt to go dance with them and I broke down and did and it was so much fun, I looked like a retard I’m sure but it was so much fun and that little boy stole my heart. Made me realize id love to adopt someday to have a sibling for my son. We got back from that and my mind was just racing. That’s when I started writing a letter to my ex that I had planned on giving to him when I was ready. I also started saving pictures of our best memories. When I started therapy though, about a week after I started getting these text from unknown numbers and every time id block them they would come back with a new one. They wanted me to stay away from my ex, and they were determined. Told me eventually that he was seeing someone but I figured they were lying. So about a week ago I poured my heart out to my ex and low and behold he has a gf I felt so pathetic and stupid. Anyway I still gave him the letter because he wanted to read it but I took out the page about my trip to his res because I felt so stupid that I did that and didn’t want him to know. Then he started getting the texts from this anonymous person also and I had my friend look into it. He figured out it was a burner phone but found names linked to the account and the locations of where it was at. All places where my ex’s new gf would go. I broke down but he convinced me it wasn’t her and I believed him. I knew at this point I was never getting him back anyway. But then I got emails describing things only one of those two would know and I know he wouldn’t tell me that stuff. Then I started getting pictures of them together and I just broke in half. He’s so happy with her but I don’t trust her, she hates me and says she will be a better mom to my son then I am and that’s not ok. I know I’m broke right now and not in a good place but was it true? Could she really be a better mom to him? Will he not love me anymore? All these thoughts just destroy me. And I cant tell him because she has some blackmail on me that would get me in trouble with the cops and I cant deal with that. And I know if I told him he would blow up on her and he would know the break up was cause of me and shed rat me out. Now if I knew he would just tell her he had a change of heart and broke up with her that way where I wouldn’t be brought up at all then I would tell him. But I know him to good. So here I am, have barely ate the last 7 days and cant sleep and even started smoking again. Just a mess and there’s nothing I can do because he made it very clear that he wants no relationship with me ever and I completely understand why. And it kills me. Well never be able to tuck our son into bed at night together, or go on walks together holding hands, or lay in bed talking all night till the morning hours. Or the trip I had planned to go back to Bemidji this winter or next spring. All of that is lost now and ill never get it back. How do you move on from such a heartbreak when it was your own fucking fault?
I was talking to my ex tonight and we had a really good deep conversation, made me think he was getting feelings back. Was 100% sure that’s what he was going to tell me. Well I was totally wrong. He still is in love with his maniac and he just wanted to share those memories and thoughts with me just cause.....I know he doesn’t mean to hurt me but fuck I’m dying. Keep hoping one of these days I’ll get my second chance but I’ve officially decided she’s won. I give up. She got what she wanted, he is over me and all hers. And I’ll stay away. Thankfully my mom is dropping our son off to him tonight so that I can go visit a grave that I need to go see and drink a beer. I’ll have to pick him up but I’m sure it’ll be a quick 2 second exchange and I’ll get out of there. I can tell he’s stressed and I so bad wanna say just leave her but I can cause of stuff and the fact he’ll think it’s just cause I want him back. Which I do but I wouldn’t even try anymore after this. I’m tired and exhausted and just completely drained. I don’t care if I keep hearing from her. I told her how much I loved him and how I’d take care of him and just gave them a good laugh. I give up. She can have him, just wish he knew he deserved so much better. He deserves true happiness and he also deserves goosebumps which neither of us will ever get. Guess I midaswell try to sleep so I can keep having my ten minute dreams about him 😭
Im so frustrated with many things right now. For the most part, its been sexual frustration. I love my husband so much. He is the best husband.any wife could want. Hes not perfect by all means, but I have a winner. I feel so frustrated and guilty all the time because I lust after other men. I am constantly fantasizing about having sex, long hard, passionate, raunchy sex. I love sex with my husband. But he doesnt seem as interested. And whenever I suggest foreplay or try new things to spice things up (wwe just got over the first year of second baby born) he looks at me like im weird and says ive changed. I feel rejected. Ive struggled with my confidence and body image this past year. I want to feel sexy again. I know im very beautiful, curvy and sexy to alot of people, but you look at yourself different when you dont FEEL it. I make an effort and he doesnt get it. We have a friend, who in fact married us 7 years ago, that I am completely attracted to. I think about him all the time. I know he has been attracted to me since we met. We have always been friends. Both of our families hang out. I domt want to have an affair. Sometimes I think it would never happen to me. I dont go out of my way to meet anyone. But then I think the longer I indulge in these fantasies and lust, its only a matter of time before I cave in if the opprotunity presents itself. I hate feeling like this. I am a christian who believes in marriage and faithfulness. Id never thought Id struggle like this. I love my husband. I love my family. I love our friendships that we have with the "other guy" and his wife. Id never want to tempt him or ruin his family or mine. Does anyone ever feel like this? I feel so alone. I pray but sometimes I feel like its useless. How do you overcome something like this? Ive never been with anyone except my husband. I asked if he would be ok with me using toys and he said no. But at this point I think Im going to get one and not tell him because I feel its the only way to keep me faithful in weak moments. Between this and all the trials and problems we have had in 2014, Im officially going crazy!
It's been over ages ago, but why is it some people aren't over that situation, it's not like much happened. 'Do you guys still talk?' No we don't really talk, I don't have a problem with it but like friends I'll talk with him if there's something to talk about but when he's so stuck on his phone I don't really think there's much of a chance to talk. 'I just find it weird.' 'You should talk to him.'
WE'RE OVER WHATS SO WEIRD WITH NOT TALKING AND MORE LIKE SHOULDN'T YOU TELL HIM THAT... He's closed himself up that was his choice I already approached him before, saying he can always talk to me when he needs someone or we're friends now so it's okay to talk to me casually. I've had enough of always making the first approach, it's his turn now. If he wants to talk then I'll talk. But if he's really closing himself up... then that's just him.. and exactly one of the reasons why I had to break up with him...
It’s so hard but I’m trying to distance myself from my ex as much as possible but so hard when you have a kid together. It’s hard when I’m having a shitty ass day like today and want to go cry on his shoulder about it but he’s not there, or want to hug him and he’s not there. He still wants to do things as a family but it’s just so hard and I want to protect myself and my son and just am sick of the outsiders coming at me. I realize it’s to much to ask for my family to be back together but this pain is worse then anything, especially with other things piled on top of it. He said his girlfriend won’t be meeting our son for a while which does take some pressure off my chest but it’s gonna happen one day and it’s gonna be the worst. I begged on my knees and cried and fought as hard as I could and still I’m here in last place which is my fault because the relationship ending was my fault. Just wish I could have a second chance. Is that to much to ask? Yes, it is.
I’m in love with the father of my son. We broke up all because of me. After I had my son I put a wall up and just blocked him out. Had all these past memories rushing up on me and didn’t know what to do. Had other ma telling me he deserves better and I believed them and let it tear me down. I was raped when I was 15, multiple times. Never faced it and am finally doing that. I want him back so bad but he has this new girl who hates me. She wants to be with him, tells me all these things about them and it’s stuff I’d rather not know because it’s killing me. My biggest fear is that he completely trusts her and doesn’t think it’s her talking to me but I know it’s her. My biggest threat is she says she’s going to be my son’s ‘new mother’ and be a hell of a lot better at it when me and I’m terridied because I’m trying to be so strong for him and it’s hard. Scared she will be a better mom to him and he won’t love me anymore. It’s hard enough losing his dad to her, I’d die if she took my son. The thoughts are just racing in my head and I can’t tell him any of this cause I’d i told him some of the things I knew he’d know it’s her and I don’t want to ruin his life, again. She has blackmail on me and I can’t do much about it because I could get in trouble if it gets out so there’s nothing I can do. I feel so helpless. They almost went to the cops once already but thankfully I know one and he couldn’t do much but if they found out I hacked a phone I could get in trouble and I don’t want to deal with that. I just wish he could see it when he looks at her and just could lie and say he doesn’t like her anymore because if I tell him and she blows up she’s gonna go to the cops and I’ll be the one in trouble. All o did was try to see where I was getting texts from but had to jump through loops to do it. I just don’t know what to do. I look in the mirror and see myself slowly falling apart and I don’t want my son seeing this, he’s my everything, my life.
I hate to have to say that outloud, but it's true. Today she made me so made that tears of anger washed my face. I haven't felt that kind of anger in a long time. My sister is in a much higher tax bracket than I am and she makes no bones about how much better she is than me. She talks down to me as if I were nothing. I love her and yet I hate her. She can make a room full of people feel awkward just with her mood. It's palpable. It's like she needs to be personally invited to every family event there is. And we aren't a formal bunch. If my mom calls her in the morning and she's busy then, she expects another call later inviting her again closer to the time of a meal. My mom bulls up and won't do that and my sister gets offended and says she's "out of the loop". She always says that sarcastically to me like I'm the one keeping her out of the loop. That's not true at all. She won't call my parents and they won't call her. Both thinks the other should do the calling. Somehow I get put squarely in the middle as I have my whole life. Each asks me what the other is up to. Today my sister brought up an instance where she thought she was slighted about being asked to a flea market. (Although she said I brought it up, which I didn't.) She was asked the night before and said maybe. The next morning she was asked again and said no because she had been, "left out of the loop." See, she wants to be invited again and again. So, today I told her that maybe in the future if she feels I'm keeping her out of the loop that she should talk directly with my parents. She tells me I'm making an issue out of things and that she does not need my drama. My drama? Please. She said that we would just continue as we always do. I said, "Alright then. Have a nice day." I am 46 years old and older than here. I will not be treated like that anymore. I've let her walk all over me my entire life and I'm done. I will not buffer her sand paper personality for my parents any longer. She can show her true colors. Right now I am so angry at her that I spit nails. She's a bitch and bullying one at that. She's got a vicious mouth when she's angry. She'll pick an agrument and then tell me it's my drama. Fuck her.
Tell her how you feel, call her cute names, surprise her randomly, go on cute dates and never stop the little things they are what truly matters. Do all the things you didn't do with me with her. Love her more. Don't just do cute things when you fuck up do them all the time because she's pretty freaking great and not as naive as I was. She will leave you the way you left me. Actually no she'll have more respect then to leave you the way you left me.....you cheated....3 years thrown away like it was nothing.....and I Hate that I don't Hate you.....I hate that part of me still wants you....even know I'm with an out of this world guy....you still pop up in my head from time to time.....would I go back....NO.....but its like I can't get rid of you....part of me wants you to get hurt like you hurt me.....part of me wants you happy in life....part of me wants to hug you.....part of me wants to punch you....honestly feel lost
So this is what we have become. Two strangers who barely speak. You're over me I'm still recovering from you but in the end seven was just a number that someday meaning today would have no meaning. Blue will never exist in my world again. She made a great impact but it's all over now. Chapter seven has fully ended.
When i turned 18, and went to uni, i wanted some extra cash and decided to become an escort. It's legal over here, but escort is just a fancy word for prostitute. Anyway, i slept with about 30 men in total, one as old as 65. And most of them were probably married. I will probably get a lot of abuse for saying this, but i really don't feel ashamed. At least i don't think so. Should I? I just keep thinking, if it wasn't with me, it would be someone else. Anyway I got 150 an hour, 1000 overnight, which is a lot of money when your studying and don't have a job. Also being an escort for a short period really gave me a very different life experience, and really changed me/ matured me as a person. It also helped me to understant men a lot more. I'm only sorry for the wives that were hurt. But the men came to me, i never went after them. A lot of the time, i didn't even know their real names, and they never knew mine. I'm a very liberal person, and also believe that if women are willing to provide to male needs for payment, then this in no way degrades them. It in no way degraded me, and i stopped working when i had enough money in the bank to get me through my studies comfortably and when i met my long term boyfriend. I just wish escorts didn't have such a bad name. Apart from those who are religious and believe that sex is a sanctity of marraige, i don't believe that people should see it as such a bad choice of career. Let him without sin cast the first stone.Even worthy biblical historical figures had concubines, its one of the oldest jobs in history. I wish people wouldn't judge me, even though very few people know in my life, just the fact that people out there hate the whores, the escorts, the hookers, the prostitutes. What right do they have to know the individual person? the ones who are educated, safe, clean, drug free and moral in all other aspects? does anyone else out there share these liberal views? If you want to grill me and tell me off for being a bad person, a husband stealer, imoral, then please go ahead. But i know in my heart that i am a loving and caring person, and that it was not my action that hurt others, it was the men who came to me.
yes I still like u. But I don't regret ending it. You're annoyingly good looking and smart but u don't care, and u don't talk. You're bad at communicating and I'm there when u need me but when I need u... nowhere. I knew how u were but with me u didn't k anything.
It's finished ik, BUT WHY FOR THE LOVE OF THIS WORLD AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU AND HOW CAN I STOP.