I kissed my ex tonight to see what feelings I would get. I got a lot but it wasn’t the same as what it used to be but I know it’s cause we’re not actually dating and I have other shit in my head. But he has a girl he’s hooked to. I tested him tonight but he doesn’t know I did. This anonymous person who has been texting me I swear is his girlfriend and he doesn’t believe me. So they emailed me saying how they got a wedding Saturday and how she’s gonna rock his world blah blah blah so I gave him an offer for this weekend and made it so it has to be Saturday night and shocker he has a wedding with her. Like I don’t know what to do because I don’t want him to get hurt but he doesn’t believe me and I’m just so exhausted and dying inside. I want to fight and save him from something he might regret but I give up and I told him that. I don’t know what else to do, I’ve tried everything. I’m causing him more stress I think than anything so I told him I’m gone. And that I won’t tell him about anymore anonymous messages I get. I just can’t do it anymore. I quit.