Man + Man + Woman = ???

Well I'm 17 just turned actually. I started dating my boyfriend last year around august ish, and he's a year above me. We know the age difference would be a problem one day but we still bonded and fell in love with each other. Any who, he went off to university or college some would call it and I'm still finishing my last year in high school. He's only 4 hours away so we were both thinking oh that's not too bad you know it's a easy trip down. I told him your going to realise that when you go to college there's more in the world than you've experienced and I know that you'll be inquisitive and want to experience more, but I only ask one thing that if activities you do at uni will affect me or us can you please atleast let me know so that I can prepare for it or accept it. Yeah course he said. Sweet, we were both happy 6 months in and going strong, always talked on the phone for hours all that lovey dovey type of cliche stuff. I loved it. Until I found out that he was being unloyal. I was bummed, I was hurt everything normal that a teenager would experience if they went through that, I was ya know telling myself this would pass bla bla bla. Any who we talked we worked through it and everything was on the right track again, not good but we were working towards good, but there was still that doubt that hung over me. It was a bitch I always doubted myself the most. Why would he do that when he had me? It's gotta be me. But we still tried to work through it. But then one day he said that it was better if we were just friends, he needed to figure out his life before he could be with me. Yeah I understood that, again it broke my heart but what got me through was that little hope that when he did we could be together again. How gullible I am. I know believe that after being friends with him for just over 2 weeks that he just wants to be friends with benefits with me. He doesn't want to commit to us because that ties him down. I finally realise that now. And I'm okay with it well that's what I thought, until he told me recently when I was hosting a party that if I got with anyone it'll end us for good, scared is what I felt, vulnerable so I didn't. He said he didn't want me to hook up with anyone else he still loved me. But he wanted to just be friends and find himself. I'm stupid and dumb because here I still am holding on to the hope that one day he will figure himself out and will be together again. But I know deep down he just wants me to be here when he needs me, sexually, mentally and emotionally.

posted to relationships by Max, Samurai of the Hungry (2 comments)

Taylor, Architect of the Hungry,

I had this experience myself from a guy that lived back home while i was at university. We had been together 3 and a half years then split because, he was very emotionally abusive. However, I was still completely in love with him as he was my first too, so he came to visit me a couple of times claiming we were going to work together to become a relationship again... that's not what happened he would come visit for a mini holiday, a shag and then leave to go clubbing with his mates. Finally it was the christmas holidays so I got to see him more often however, 3 days into the holiday he ended what ever was going on between us and only then did I realise i was nothing but a shag and an escape from his own reality back home.

Don't become his escape and comfort place, it will destroy you, best thing is to move on or atleast try to because, for all you know he could be "sowing his wild oats" where ever he is then coming back to you. XO

Frankie, Historian of the Idealistic,

Do you have any cousins or an aunt or someone who can talk to you about these things?

MOST men are more primed to 'sow wild oats" when they are young rather than be tied to any one female.

You seem to want to deny that's what's going on with this guy even though his words and his behaviour are both telling that story.

Date someone else - realize that that new relationship will also have an expiration date.