Where do I begin? I have been working there for almost a year. He was one of the first guys there that I had a tiny crush on. Yes I knew he was married and had a family, but sometimes you can't help who you crush on. I have no desire to be with him. I'd never date him. I truly have no idea how his wife even does it. After knowing him months, I started to seriously dislike him. He's quite arrogant and lacks compassion, at least on the clock. When he's off the clock, he's a totally different person. A couple of months ago, he told me he's actually a nice guy, that he was just raised to take work very seriously. So seriously that he's caused a handful of people to walk out and quit. I've always been sexually attracted to him. I can't seem to understand why, but I am. The area that we work in is very close quarters, so we accidentally touch a lot. Plus, he tends to be naturally touchy-feely. That kind of doesn't help. We have times where we flirt and times where I literally want to punch him in the throat. Everybody who works during the same shift as us, knows I'm not his biggest fan or they have every reason to suspect that. Even recently, a couple of people we work with joked that I hate him. The last month, things have been kind of great between us. We've joked around a lot more. I don't have a vehicle currently and he's offered a couple of times to take me to get lunch on our lunch break, but I declined. I am not sure how to be in a car with him. I can control myself, although I feel it'd be awkward and uncomfortable for me. Back during Christmas, I gave all of my managers gift bags filled with candy. He jokingly had asked if I had poisoned his. A few days ago, he offered me a piece of gum and joked that he didn't poison it. I referred back to the joke from Christmas and he said that's why he made the joke, because of the one from Christmas. We're Facebook friends now and he's been "liking" a bunch of my posts. He even commented on one yesterday and told me how much he appreciates my positivity and encouragement, that it's a blessing and told me to "keep it up". I recently had a dream of him where it started off sexual, but then he became my boyfriend and I kissed him and told him I loved him. I'm not sure why I had a dream of that. I really don't think of dating him. Every time I think of him, I am thinking of sex with him, all kinds of sex lol. But it's weird because every time I get a notification that he has liked a post of mine or commented, I get butterflies and I blush. Even a few days ago, when he noticed I was there, he said good morning and asked how my weekend was and he never did that before and it made me have butterflies. Is this just sexual feelings or what am I feeling here? I am 26, he's 37.