relationships

Man + Man + Woman = ???

Hello everyone, I think I have been on this site about a hundred times, just reading other peoples stories. Seeing if I can help, looking to see whether I can apply any advise given to my own life, or just to read out of pleasure. But now, this is the first time I have something to ask. Something to tell, so that it will just be put out there for anyone to listen to me. How do you know if you are in-love? All my life I have never believed in it. I just though that it was all in your head, and that cheating, and divorce, or not being attracted to each other was the constant thing in relationships. But now that I'm in one. A relationship that I'm completely happy in, what do I think now? Am I in-love? Am I going crazy? Or is this actually what it is? Happiness and caring wrapped up so tight that I can barely think or do anything.

How do you know if you are in-love or not?

posted to relationships by Nikki, Scout of the Financial Services department (4 comments)


Candy, Engineer of the craft table,

I don't know what love means. My father and mother have always said that they love me but they have always done things to disappoint me. I've been married and thought I was in love because that person wanted to be with me and see me succeed and have a future. I'm I. A current relationship and we say we are in love because e share values and want a future together.

So at this point, love means way too many things for me and I have no idea what it means other than the following. Love means dedication loyalty respect and forgiveness. It means being there for the other person when you are not even there for yourself. It means giving them your all and expecting nothing in return. It means willingly wanting to share your life financially and emotionally with without any expectation of them being able to contribute as much as you do. That's what I've learned since my divorce two years ago

Arthur, Steward of the Wildlands,

Love is just hormones. You'll get over it.

Estelle, Illusionist of Darkness,

Love is a lot of things, it's different for each person. And you're right that love isn't really to everyone, but that doesn't mean it can't be real to you. Being happy in a relationship is a good sign that it's not a possessive attaction, which is loves ugly face we assume is all of it. Love is a relation between people, it's a flowing feeling that changes over time. It won't always be happy jittery like it is now, but that doesn't mean the love has died. It's a funny thing, we assume love is this always happy thing and when that joy leaves it's over, but it isnt. That love matures into a feeling of one and kinship. You except each other which leads to what makes relationships really work. Most people either quit when this happens or are afraid of it, but ask any married old-timer and they will say love isn't all laughing and dancing, it's also crying and arguing about things big and small. They see love as something they built, it's a foundation that they live their lives from. Now I don't know if that makes it real to you or anyone else, but speaking from experience love is a powerful feeling that when allowed to work it's course is as strong the will to live. So I'd say you are, but be aware that as it changes you don't need to be afraid of it. Just talk to your partner and build that foundation so that nothing can tear it down.

Addison, CEO of the Satisfied,

You know you're in love in the same way you know you hate someone. Except being happily in love is one of the best, strongest experiences you will have, enjoy it while it lasts, cause it won't be there forever. You have about 2 years, maybe 3. After that, if you have developed a good friendship and a sense of kinship, you would have developed a sort of tribal bonding which middle aged couples call "real" love. You wouldn't feel happy like this anymore, and the caring will turn into chores, but he will still feel near and dear to you. And that's if you're lucky.

Not sure what you mean by "is love real". I mean, is hate real? Is jealousy real? Happiness, sadness? All feelings are real. And all are transient. Just because people got a divorce doesn't mean they have never being in love with each other.