He still makes my knees weak. I cannot be myself around him anymore because I was never enough in the end. He's trying to be nice to me, but I can't look at him without feeling that rush. I can't let go of my first love. I found out he's friends with this slut girl who I hate. It bothers me she talks to him. I want him to look at me the same way for just a moment. It will never end, he'll be gone forever after May. I wish I could have done something right.