Man + Man + Woman = ???

  When i turned 18, and went to uni, i wanted some extra cash and decided to become an escort. It's legal over here, but escort is just a fancy word for prostitute. Anyway, i slept with about 30 men in total, one as old as 65. And most of them were probably married.  I will probably get a lot of abuse for saying this, but i really don't feel ashamed. At least i don't think so. Should I? I just keep thinking, if it wasn't with me, it would be someone else. Anyway I got 150 an hour, 1000 overnight, which is a lot of money when your studying and don't have a job. Also being an escort for a short period really gave me a very different life experience, and really changed me/ matured me as a person. It also helped me to understant men a lot more.  I'm only sorry for the wives that were hurt. But the men came to me, i never went after them. A lot of the time, i didn't even know their real names, and they never knew mine.  I'm a very liberal person, and also believe that if women are willing to provide to male needs for payment, then this in no way degrades them. It in no way degraded me, and i stopped working when i had enough money in the bank to get me through my studies comfortably and when i met my long term boyfriend. I just wish escorts didn't have such a bad name. Apart from those who are religious and believe that sex is a sanctity of marraige, i don't believe that people should see it as such a bad choice of career. Let him without sin cast the first stone.Even worthy biblical historical figures had concubines, its one of the oldest jobs in history. I wish people wouldn't judge me, even though very few people know in my life, just the fact that people out there hate the whores, the escorts, the hookers, the prostitutes. What right do they have to know the individual person? the ones who are educated, safe, clean, drug free and moral in all other aspects? does anyone else out there share these liberal views? If you want to grill me and tell me off for being a bad person, a husband stealer, imoral, then please go ahead. But i know in my heart that i am a loving and caring person, and that it was not my action that hurt others, it was the men who came to me. 
posted to relationships by Ari, Sous Chef of the Irredeemably Moist (40 comments)

Adrian, Security Guard of Light,

My wife used to be an escort and sugar baby and it doesn't bother me at all. I was a male slut and how is that any different she was just smart enough to get paid and get a foundation for our life together.

Josh, Secretary of Light,

I on the other hand, im married, female, very sexual, and my husband doesn't like sex. If it happens, it's very lame. I wondered if there is somewhere to turn to be discreet about setting up a few meetings a month for profit?

Ash, Investigator of Light,

I love your honesty. I've been struggling with this as well. My hus and cheated on me with escorts on backpage. .so I decided to become an escort to get back at him. .. then I realized, being an expert gives me the option to be with my little boy full time. I'm not ashamed either. I'm a great mom. I can give my little boy the best life and I'm comfortable and happy.

Stevie, Samurai of Good,

TOTALLY AGREE!!! i dont feel bad after, i feel like i learn something from speaking witht hese men! i thought i was the only one who felt this way.

Charlie, Shaman of the Financial Services department,

Coming from and ex-stripper: it just sound weird how you talk about something that is pretty much life changing. Fair enough you are not ashamed, some people are some people aren't. Depends on your personality. On the other hand, I do miss that you don't talk about the negative aspect of the job and the ways it changed you, you just said, you matured.

I used to be a stripper but I'm not proud of it. Yes, I did it for the money and I was telling myself that it was ok, cause people were only watching me, not touching me. But it's just self-delusion! There's always someone who touches you, sucks your nipple when you are close, grabs your ass and talks to you like a sexual object ('can I fuck you for 200?'). All those nasty people who smell, who are dumb, who treat you like shit but you still have to smile and be polite to them. I will never forget those nights when I arrived home and was desperate to have a shower and wash the dirt off myself, and I didn't even sleep with them. If I ever wrote a blog entree about it, I would definitely mention all aspects. It did change me, and my friends noticed first. That was the warning sign. When you become fake and superficial, cause you get so used to your role as a stripper that you forget how not to be one in the every day life. Today I'm glad I didn't get stuck doing it. It would have been so easy to do, however the guy I met back then helped me to get out and we are together ever since. I'm really grateful to him, sometimes you just can't be strong enough to stop doing it, you just keep saying it to yourself 'maybe next month' 'when I have a bit more money' 'I just do it temporarily'.

If you do a job like a stripper or escort, you will rapidly lose yourself before you know. Just keep that in mind.

Charlie, Assassin of Wild Parties,
Hi...I am sure this took a lot from you to put it our there. First let me thank you for explaining it so good. I founded out that my girlfriend, wife to be, mother of my two daughters came out as being a short term paid escort before we got together. After 5 years with me, i had to find it out and felt so betrayed, jelous and a lot of other feelings. It will take to long to have to explain everyting...but now reading what you are saying. I can understand what she went through, how she looked at it and why she could make such a choice...i probaly could possibly do the same if i was a woman...I am still trying to get over the bad feelings I am having...scared feelings, but you have helped me with issues that I have. Thank you from the bottom of my heart out of Africa.
Max, Ship Master of the Unimaginable Terror,

I am curious of what my husband is going through right now. He found out that I used to be an escort before. I want to understand what he is feeling rght now. I know that he feels betrayed and he even questions my love fore him. He doesn't trusts me. I am confused of how to help him and let him know how special e is to me and how serious I am about our marriage.

Stevie, Templar of Generosity,

it's just sex not big deal - of course you keep it a bit of a secret - that is just discretion - everything in moderation that is the key

Stevie, Archaeologist of Space,

Here's who says "it's just sex":

  1. Someone getting paid for it
  2. Someone who is cheating on their spouse/partner.
  3. Someone who has never been cheated on.

Here's who never says "it's just sex":

  1. The spouse/partner that was cheated on.
  2. The person who would not cheat on their spouse/partner.
Frankie, Alchemist of the Hungry,

I also used to be an escort. I worked for a high class agency in my area (legal here may i add) I'm a well brought up girl, educated and have an MA in psychology and currently work in mental health. I'd been in relationships, at the time i wasn't looking for another and my job alongside university paid terribly despite being very rewarding, so a few days a week i did some escorting work, put the money into my savings account and saved up enough for holidays abroad and to do my masters degree. I enjoy sex, but i'm not willing to get drunk and have a one night stand with jack from down the road because i want it. I wont sell myself that cheap, it's a strange kind of liberated feeling to realize you can get what you want in life because of good looks (like all celebrities/singers/actors here lets be realistic) It's objectifying a body, a sexual object, it has nothing to do with personality or intelligence. If you're going to allow one to be deemed acceptable in society why not another? The men i met may be married, but ladies pull your heads out from the sand! If it's not with an escort it will be with sandy down the road, if men are that way inclined they will cheat regardless! These men are who they are, their will be many people willing to have sex with them with or without money being exchanged. The agreement between us was purely business. I find it amusing that the escorting/prostitution line of work is so stigmatized, but yet many and i will presume, the majority of you reading will have watched porn at one time in their lives. May i please be the first to shock and appall you- these people also get paid to have sex! Only thousands of people can watch these videos. The ones i do are private, i have no audience and i do not wish to imagine hundreds of people masturbating to me online. So why is the porn industry accepted in our society but this is not, we are all aware how many porn films are out there and that every single person in them got paid, but you don't think about it twice when it's on your computer moniter. It's has been around for centuries as we have established, is because the stigma of 'whore/prozzie' or whatever name you wish needs be dug out. There are sensible, nice girls out there just like me, i ring my mother once a week i own a cat and i enjoy reading, drinking coffee and walking around the park in the sun. I may even live next door to you, maybe i now look after your mother. Do you know? But surely my sex life is not that exciting, it doesn't make me any worse of a person it just makes me someone with a sensible business head on their shoulders, i am sorry but sex sells! I don't work in the sex industry anymore, the work i did paid for my education and now i earn enough to live very comfortably so i no longer need to. I think our society needs to re-evaluate it's opinions on matters such as these. It's not for everyone, but for me it was.

Harper, Historian of the Financial Services department,

Hey :)

I'd actually love to be friends with and eventually date & marry an ex escort. Just my preference of women I guess. Kind of hard to find though for some reason.

Maybe we could chat? email?

let me know ;)


Harper, Templar of Darkness,

As someone who did it for a short period of time, to save up money for school, I can only give you this advice: never ever confess on any other forum than this.

Don't tell anyone. Ever. Maybe, maybe tell your best best friend, who you trust completely, had also been involved in something like this. Otherwise DON'T EVER CONFESS. Because people will hold it against you, and use it against you, even if they don't show their disapproval right away.

To all the hypocrites, talking about how "prostitutes steal husbands". Are you serious? What about divorced men? What about single men? What about hopeless virgin guys? There will always be prostitution, because there will always be a demand for it. You can't make it go away, you can only make it go under ground, which would the women practicing it in even more danger.

Having said that, I am not an advocate for prostitution being an advisable pursuit, and I'll tell you why.

Not every woman - or man, for that matter - is able to sell their sex, and psychologically remove themselves from the situation. I can tell you, that I, for once, can't really do it. I can't. I'm not cut out for it - even though I LOVE sex, and I don't think there's anything wrong with selling yourself on a moral level.

No person who ever sold themselves should be perceived as bad, just because of that. It is absurd.

But for some people, prostitution is much too taxing emotionally.

My theory is, for some people physical sex and emotional intimacy are more interconnected than for others. It's not something that I choose, it is just how I'm wired up. Even if I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm doing, I still feel crushed after a session. Not because of guilt, I haven't done anything wrong to anyone, but because I feel my capacity for intimacy had been, in some way, damaged.

And when girls like myself stay too long in this line of work - they're the ones who start using drugs, drinking, etc. That's why for so many people ( I say people, cause men can be prostitutes too), selling their sex is the very last resort. Not everyone can handle it. The original poster obviously can, (and hey, more power to you!), but please don't forget your ability to draw the line between yourself and your sex is not something everyone can do,

Not because we think what you do is wrong - but because not everyone can do it..

Adrian, Knight of the Wildlands,

I am a lot older, and I am training to be a Courtesan. I also don't see anything wrong in it. I am on my third university, and from childhood, I have been raised to believe that prostitutes provide an important service.

Lets say a pal hosts a party. Your husband sneaks a smoke, Husbands are going to sneak smokes, no matter what. Same thing if he drinks too much, brags all night about his dog, dresses up as Batman, or hires a prostitute.

Most women never consider the role they played. They tell themselves that prostitutes and Batman suits are not their fault. They discard any responsibility whatsoever, and adopt the position of a grieving Madonna. It's a short trip to the divorce lawyer, where blood can be extracted from the former love of her life.

The hostess is also to blame, of course, for the divorce. If it hadn't been for her, they would still be "happily married".

The Belle Watleys - especially the mature ones like me = hear it all the time. Our compassion is valued as much as our bada bing bada boom. Men are simple. And we really don't mind hearing about the dog, either. Sometimes they are involved with us for a very long time.

Sure, he pays. What got paid out in the divorce? Child Support? Alimony? We might well clock in at $500 an hour, but it's a steal. One man I know will be working the rest of his life because of his ex.

I say, be yourself. Keep doing what you do. I will be on a plane somewhere, or paying off my mortgage, while you are still bitter.

Or stop. Now. Admit you love him, and that you will work it out. That you want to rekindle the old glory. That he is the love of your life. Forget I ever existed, and lead a peaceful, happy life.

Your choice.


Harper, Student of the Wildlands,
This what you wrote I believe might be my exact thoughts and experiences.  Reading this has helped me alot.  I feel like recently I have been struggling with the fact that I used to escort and Ive been so confused as to why I dont feel much shame either..I mean Im not proud of it I guess but Ive always been curious about the type of lifestyle, and business.  It definetly is a different world and theres can be some danger going along with it but I think maybe thats the reason I was so concerned while doing it.  Anyways, while I was escorting I was going thru a stage I guess but it taught me alot of new, different things and perspectives that u could only learn from doing something that alot of people consider degrading and what not but really its an experience and even taught me to be alot more comfortable with my sexuality.  The only reason I stopped was because it got to be extremely difficult trying to keep secret from this guy I had gotten to know for quite some time once we started getting serious.  However, I dont think I could bring myself to letting him in on my secret? hmmm it would be great if I could get a reply back if u ever told your boyfriend..not necessary but interesting! 
Max, Ship Master of the Unimaginable Terror,

I used to be an escort for a couple of years. I met this amazing man last year and now I am married to him. For the obvious reasons, I could not tell him that I used to sleep with men for money. But he eventually found out soon after our marriage. Maybe, part of me wanted him to find out. I wanted a marriage where I did not have to feel bad about what I used to be. He told me that I had ruined his life, that I should have told him before our marriage. I could not afford to lose him because of what I used to do. I wanted a life where I can be happy. It's not that I was not happy before that. It was different. I wanted a man, a partner, a lover for life. Perhaps, I should have told him before our marriage. Sometimes the hurt and confusion I see in his eyes, it's too much for me. I have even considered leaving him for his happiness. He is struggling to forgive me and get past all these. I know he loves me still, he assured me of that. But he told me many times to leave him. I could not do that.I can't imagine a life without him now. I feel so insecure. Each time, he speaks to a woman, an attractive woman, I get worried. I am even having nightmares where I lose him to another woman. This marriage has been like a roller-coaster. For a day we are so perfect and the next my past comes in and we argue. I am getting used to him saying some things that really hurts. I do not know what the future holds for me, this marriage. I am just praying that this marriage works and maybe some day my husband will let go of all this that he is feeling and accept my love for him.

Frankie, Embalmer of Darkness,
I just came across this blog, and just wanted to give my insight on it, even with no expierience. People have and use sex for there own satisfaction, regardless if it is for money, being in a relationship, married, or just to have fun (one night stands, ect ..). If the individuals are consenting to it, nobody is getting hurt, there is an agreement, everything is perfectly normal with no problem, and everyone is happy with it, there shouldn't be an issue. When your having sex for your own satisfaction needs whatever it may be, why is it that it is looked down upon in society to do it for money? If you choose to do it for money, it is satisfying you in your needs, and it serving something for your life at that time, what is the issue? For example if you are horny ( and not an escort) you went to a bar met a guy, brought him home and slept with him, that right there is just an example of you doing something to please yourself. Regardless of what aspect it is. In regards to escorts ruining marriages, remember **PEOPLE LIE ALL THE TIME** It's inevitable. An escort is not a detective. When you choose to trust and believe someone, you cannot stop them from doing whatever they want to do. In the end they are there own person. If this world was lived in with no money, (minus everything that would come with it, where talking about the sex aspect) there are people would still sleep with different individuals for just there own personal satisfaction. REGARDLESS IF IT IS FOR LOVE OR NOT. Not everybodys path walks in a straight line, things do happen and people do change there are circumstances. Even if you choose to sleep with ONE MAN when you are married, and have a family. Things can possibly change, he might not be in love with you(vice versa) and you guys choose to go your seperate ways and find new people. You are sharing yourself with more then one individual. I don't condone NOT having respect for yourself or your body, but if everything is done in a healthy right safe manner, there shouldn't be an issue. There are ALOT of jobs out there that arn't healthy for you, that do put your life at risk. It's all the same IDEA but just a different aspect on things. Escorting is focusing on the sexual aspect of life, and every other job focuses on what it needs to focus on in life. All I AM SAYING IS NO ONE IS TO JUDGE. (This is how I view things in society's world , not in gods way) If your going into the religious part on things, if you have already had sex before your married, you have absaloutley NO RIGHT to judge an escort. Because all escorts and even pimps are fornicators. Also the couples who just "live together" according to the Bible, are committing the same sin that an escort commits. Singles who "make love" fall into the exact same category. So if you truly want to judge just READ THE BIBLE then think twice. Remember in gods eyes NO SIN IS GREATER THEN ANOTHER. God hates sin but ... He loves the sinner.
Frankie, Embalmer of Darkness,
Max, Archaeologist of the Unimaginable Terror,
You know, if you want to say prostitutes and escorts are the same, that's on you. Just know you insult those of us who are legit escorts who don't spread our legs for cash. Next time use the proper term, you were a whore, nothing wrong with being a whore but don't try to clean it up or confuse people by calling yourself an escort which you clearly were not. Sincerely, A real Escort
Frankie, Thief of the Idealistic,
I think that girls like yourself must have no respect for themselves.  I also am a FT student but never would put myself in the situation of sleeping with someones husband and someones Daddy.  I was raised to have men respect you and that education and hard work and morals was the way to get this.  My Daddy put this in my head at a very young age. The ones at home do not deserve the pain of knowing that your daddy slept with someone your age just for the sex nothing else. These men look at you as nothing more then an object that will let anyone screw them for money.  That to me is so wrong.  I will ask each and everyone of you that thinks that it is easy money, well in the long run you will pay dearly for your choices. If not while you are breathing, then when you have to answer to God about adultery and if you really are that stupid to not have known now that you are sleeping with someone that is married.  Hope that someday when you share your work history with your daughter that she will be proud of you just don't leave this chapter out if you can not be open with what you do with everyone you love then you know it is wrong.  
Peyton, Superintendent of the Forgotten Lands,

No one's Dad wants their daughter to have intercourse in general. To be honest, it sounds like you have had a pretty easy life and you could not possibly imagine what it is like to be on the streets (with a post-secondary education mind you) and wondering how you are going to pay for your next meal. Did your Daddy tell you that he can't afford to pay for your education, let alone even your groceries when you really need it?

To you it is wrong, and that is alright. However, God never personally told you that adultry is wrong. Did he knock on your door one night and sat you down to have a random conversation about how our body parts (that god made by the way) are not to be used unless we get married (which was invented by man).

Does your bible tell you or does God? Good for you for thrusting your God down people's throats, go preach on a street corner. . .

It seems offly strange that you are reading this post in the first place, it took me 10 searches to find this post. How come you are looking for this sort of information. Maybe you are scared, scared to realize that there is another world out there...

1 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY... And how do you think it is funded?


There is probably a 1/4 chance that the people you have passed on the street have been with an escort, been one or known someone who has slept with one before. How does an industry like this maintain its presence in every day society? Because with DEMAND there will be SUPPLY.

Peyton, Superintendent of the Forgotten Lands,

Me, yes I have spiritualism in my life... but I don't go flaunting it off.

Your Daddy would be so disappointed to see you reading this stuff. Mind your eyes young lady. Careful what you read, you might come to the dark side.

Have a great summer : )

Harper, Knight of Time,
I'm not going to condemn you because, first off there is no point, and secondly because it was your choice, just like it was their's.  People can cut you down all they want, but as the Bible says...Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Dana, Samurai of the Rich,
I agree with you... While I don't think that prostitution is a good thing or something I would like to do, hey more power to ya! If you are a safe, moral, drug-free, upright citizen then its just sex right. Don't feel bad, the people judging you are the ones that aren't intelligent or intellectual enough to understand the other side of the story.
Samantha, Chef of Good,
Not intelligent enough? Why, because I have morals and know the difference between right and wrong? Are any of you who responded married? Sex is not just sex. The bottom line is that prostitution is NOT safe and moral. Can anyone answer the question, " Would it be okay if your husband (or wife) had sex with a prostitute?"
Max, Archaeologist of the Unimaginable Terror,
To the person who wrote "Not intelligent enough? Why, because I have morals and know the difference between right and wrong? Are any of you who responded married? Sex is not just sex. The bottom line is that prostitution is NOT safe and moral. Can anyone answer the question, " Would it be okay if your husband (or wife) had sex with a prostitute?" Obviously you think you have morals but pick and choose which ones you take to heart. I know the difference of right and wrong but that doesn't mean that I let other people dictate my right and wrong. Who told you this was wrong? Why? Yes I am married (12) years, I have also been an escort for 15 plus years and my husband and I have 8 children and one hell of a healthy marriage and no secrets. My Husband did leave me for a prostitute for 3 months so to answer your question there, I've lived through it and the marriage is stronger now. I don't blame the hooker I blame my husband and myself. We let the relationship deteriorate till neither of us were happy, he chose to go elsewhere. It hurt but it also woke me the hell up. Men see hookers because they don't nag, there is no responsibility, they don't insult them, they treat them well and they meet there needs. Problem lies with the wives. Stop blaming the women who are doing what most women don't.
Adrian, Dark Queen of Justice,
It would not be okay with me for my husband to have sex with a prostitute, but I would hold my husband responsible for his actions, not the prostitute.  The reason that prostitution is not safe in this country is because it is criminalized.  Without police protection, the girls have to rely on pimps to protect them, pimps who often get them hooked on drugs so they also have to rely on them for their supply.  The girls hardly get enough of the money that they earned to live, much less get checked out by a doctor and be tested for STD's.  People should be allowed to decide for themselves what they want to do with their bodies, and whether or not sex is valuable to them or not.  For myself, I value sex too highly to ever charge money for it.  Someone else may not.  As far as it being moral or not, well, even the OP stated in so many words that she understood if people thought it was immoral for religious reasons.  But that is also a very personal thing that people should be allowed to decide for themselves.  And no, I don't believe that you disagreeing with it means that you are unintelligent, but the government should not legislate morality. 
Samantha, Chef of Good,
Well, too many people like you straddle the fence. On one hand, you think it is wrong for your husband to do it, on the other hand it's ok for everyone else. There comes a point to where wrong is just wrong.
Ash, Referee of Space,
If you were married, would you want your husband sleeping with prostitutes? It sounds a little like you might be trying to justify what you have done. They may have come to you, but that still does not make it right on your part. I think it is obviously a sign the married ones have problems and sleeping with prostitutes only makes it worse. Also, if men didn't have the option and couldn't be with prostitutes it would probably force them to work things out with thier wives. These men didn't just betray a marriage, they betrayed an entire family and you helped.
Bobbie, Breeder of Justice,

whom ever wrote this is lost.......u actually think the man will work it out with the wife if tthere were no prostitutes u moron.......please eduvcate yourself on men, they would rape woman, children, lil teens if there were life without whores..also, men would cheat with your friend, co-workers ect. just like they do now people cheat because they cheat, not because of a whore...this is how escorts work, men pay for sex because they are pigs, and doesnt cheat on their wives with their daghter or neighbour...escorts are just business works like this if the cheater goes and pays for a whore, then next time that whre not available he calls another whore...just like a drug dealer, druggy wants drugs, he dont care who gives it too him.

Max, Archaeologist of the Unimaginable Terror,
First off, get a grip on reality here. It's a job. She didn't beg these men she provided a service. If their wifes would take care of their men and marriage in the first place they wouldn't be seeking out services elsewhere. She did nothing to contribute to the end of a marriage. That falls on the man and their wife. If you don't want your man seeing a provider of any of these services, then respect your man, treat him with dignity and be willing to experiment to take care of his sexual needs. You want to save your marriage, Do it but don't blame a provider for it failing. The provider didn't and doesn't cause the problem that creates business for her. Accept it or don't but it's truth either way.
Ash, Sous Chef of the Satisfied,
i disagree. men that want to cheat will. if not with prostitutes,w ith other women, neighbours, collegues, ext. i myself was an escort, im 21, and i did it for abotu 6 months.I made enough money to travel. And now i live in Europe and have a totally different life. i dont feel ashamed, but some how society tells me i should. I didnt make anyone sleep with me. THey made their own choices just like i made mine. 
Peyton, Superintendent of the Forgotten Lands,

Hey there

I was wondering if you could give me some pointers on how to move from North America to Europe, I am starting to escort again and my goal is to finish university and go over to Europe to live for a couple of years at least.

I was wondering, did you have to escort again in Europe? Or did you find a profession under the degree that you studied for?

And if you had to escort in Europe, don't they have different laws? I think if it is legal, you need to have a working permit.

Shiki, Administrator of Darkness,

This really is a matter of choice it all depends on the circumstances some people like cheese burgers some don't its not for everyone,some girls are happy doing this some girls would rather care for old people in a nursing home for less money

Brett, Cleric of the IT department,
^^^^ I tihnk that you are wrong, i think that what she did she did for herself not any other reason. Those men chose to go to her, and i dont think any man can be forced into fixing something they dont want to. She did help betray a family, this was her JOB, you have a JOB, everyone has a JOB and some of us are not as fortunate as you are to be able to live off our husbands. We have student loans and bills and some of us living on our own think that this is a great way to make money. Those men would  have gone to a different Escort if she wasnt available., so truley she did help, and what their children dont know doesnt hurt them, what about your kids relative anyone, do your kids know about your sex life? I wouldnt want to know about my parents sex life, so really how does that hurt them..... Even the parents divorced well so be it, it a lot of cases it's better for the children if the family slpits than if they stay together.      Way up there, im with you girl! you did what you needed too to take care of yourself i am thinking about doing the same thing, i need to get through shcool and i was recently told that my parents are moving and not taking me, i have a month to move out and find my own place, and be bale to support myself. 
Max, Real Estate Agent of Justice,
Believe me, if men didn't have the option and couldn't be with prostitutes, they'd find someone to sleep with, possibly someone with whom they have an emotional bond, which is even worse.  It's not her responsibility to look out for these marriages.  It's the responsibility of the people in the marriages.  For her, it was just business.
Allison, Pope of Imagination,

well i used to be in a relationship with someone and we loved each so much but he judged me all the time from my past causing im to behave nasty and disrespectful towards me and feel thats my punishment. in the end i finished it however pregnant with his child. very hard as stilllove him and he loves me but i know im better alone than being treated so bad. he keeps telling me can change especially now im pregnant but im too tired and scared to take the risk after giving him so many chances. moving on but hard each time see him especially cause he so controlling,bad tempered plus keeps trying to tellme can change and loves me and cries etc. I dont know if will ever meet someone who accepts it and loves me without judging and who i love in the same way but treats me right. i have done alot of normal jobs in my and do now but fell into bad places as many people do. i hold my head high accept my past and get on with it best i can despite the fact i know many people know about it. u have tobe strong and proud as no one else will be for u i guess. bare in mind i also discovered he was masterbating over porn when i wasnt around yet made me feelterrible for having done it.I found this very hurtful and contradictive :(