Im so frustrated with many things right now. For the most part, its been sexual frustration. I love my husband so much. He is the best husband.any wife could want. Hes not perfect by all means, but I have a winner. I feel so frustrated and guilty all the time because I lust after other men. I am constantly fantasizing about having sex, long hard, passionate, raunchy sex. I love sex with my husband. But he doesnt seem as interested. And whenever I suggest foreplay or try new things to spice things up (wwe just got over the first year of second baby born) he looks at me like im weird and says ive changed. I feel rejected. Ive struggled with my confidence and body image this past year. I want to feel sexy again. I know im very beautiful, curvy and sexy to alot of people, but you look at yourself different when you dont FEEL it. I make an effort and he doesnt get it. We have a friend, who in fact married us 7 years ago, that I am completely attracted to. I think about him all the time. I know he has been attracted to me since we met. We have always been friends. Both of our families hang out. I domt want to have an affair. Sometimes I think it would never happen to me. I dont go out of my way to meet anyone. But then I think the longer I indulge in these fantasies and lust, its only a matter of time before I cave in if the opprotunity presents itself. I hate feeling like this. I am a christian who believes in marriage and faithfulness. Id never thought Id struggle like this. I love my husband. I love my family. I love our friendships that we have with the "other guy" and his wife. Id never want to tempt him or ruin his family or mine. Does anyone ever feel like this? I feel so alone. I pray but sometimes I feel like its useless. How do you overcome something like this? Ive never been with anyone except my husband. I asked if he would be ok with me using toys and he said no. But at this point I think Im going to get one and not tell him because I feel its the only way to keep me faithful in weak moments. Between this and all the trials and problems we have had in 2014, Im officially going crazy!