You've only gone and fucked it up again.
So Ive finally found my perfect boyfriend. A little older than me, looks after me, gorgeous, funny, talented. Everything I could ever want. We don't really argue.. we have moments where we dont understand eachother or have crossed wires but we talk and we sort it out. We take things pretty slow for me, seeing as by this stage in my last relationship I'd already moved in with the guy and falsley been professing love for months, but things are just right with my guy now.
Apart from this one thing. He doesn't seem to want me physically. He used to, all the time. But recently it has been getting worse and worse. I know this ex used to distance herself from him a lot and he told me about how bad it made him feel when we met, so its been very odd to deal with. My ex and I would go through spells of this but I wasnt as attracted to him and never really cared. But as someone who has had a history of eating disorders and anxiety I automatically overthink and start worrying if its a problem with me.
So after a couple of bottles of wine with one of my girls whos been having a hard time recently and we had been talking about all our problems, he picks me up. I was hoping to casually bring it up if the problem was still goin on tonight. Unfortunately I don't deal with things very well and get embarrased and nervous, so when I tried it on and he stopped me I began to get upset as I tried to tell him how I felt. I was so embarrased, I find it hard to talk about, especially cause I just never wanna make him feel bad. Eveything went weird. He was weirded out by me getting so upset, and decided not to stay but to go pretty soon after. He said everything was fine and we'll talk tomorrow but my over active thoughts are making me paranoid. I dont usually get this bad but its ridiculous, I feel insane.
If Ive fucked this up, I dunno what I'll do. Hopefully, we're as strong as I thought we are and my feelings wont ruin us.