life

Would you be here if you had one?

Life.....it can be so interesting sometimes and then so dull at other times. My life the past 2 years has just been, well hectic yet amazing. I had my son who is my savior, my anchor, and my best friend. But then I had other people who were trying to rip me down and make me something I’m not. I gave into it and became someone I didn’t recognize. Lost my boyfriend at the time, the father of my son. And just thought my life was falling to pieces. But here I sit now realizing it all happened for a reason. I just didn’t know it at the time. Fast forward to two years later and I’m living at home with my son saving for a house and enjoying every minute of my life. And my sons dad is dating the person who turned me into the person I hated. Definitely makes me open my eyes and realize I’m glad that girl did rip us apart because if he can be in love with someone like her then me and him were definitely not meant to be. She’s not a very nice person, just from my experience with her and well I am a very nice person, sometimes to nice. Does it make me look at him different? Yes. At first it amazes me that he could be with someone who talked so much crap about the mother of his son and who even said horrible things about his son. But then I read an amazing book and realized I just need to let it go. Now I just look at him as my sons dad and that’s it. He’s happy and that great, I’m happy for him. I’m happy as long as I have my son. Yes I’m living in my parents basement, yes I live paycheck to paycheck, and yes it’ll be a couple years till I reach my goals but that’s just it, I will reach them. I will have a house for me and my son and our animals! And we will have so many adventures together and it will make the best memories. I wish his dad could join in on some of our adventures as a family but I’ve accepted that’s not happening. I don’t want to deal with his girlfriend and would rather just be the adult and move on and just keep on good terms with him. I will never look at her and be able to accept her around our son but I trust him and that’s all that matters. I never thought I would be a good mom but I think I’m doing a pretty good dam job, no matter what anyone thinks. I’ve been talking to a rescue for the last month that I fell in love with a few years ago and they actually offered me a full time job and housing for me and my son last week and I mean this is what I’ve been waiting my whole life for. It would literally have been a dream come true. But it’s out of state and now that I have my son I just know there’s no way I’d be allowed to take it. Really hurt me but I turned it down. Balled my eyes out and questioned everything but now I realized I have my son and that’s all I need. Another opportunity will hopefully come along later in life! And maybe my dream man who works at a dog rescue :). I’m just going to keep living day by day and enjoy the memories I’m making along the way. No more dwelling in the past!

posted to life by Candy, Paladin of the Irredeemably Moist (0 comments)