I got sober and clean 12 and a half years ago. About five years ago, I started drinking and, in the last six months, I have one-three bottles of wine a day. I am upset and sad. I am in the middle of detoxing and it is very uncomfortable. I feel heartbroken at what my life has become. There is a tremendous amount that I have to live for. I need help and have resolved to write when I want to drink. There is not much worse...I want to crawl in a whole and die. As I write all of this, I am reminded of how much better it makes me feel to write.