life

Would you be here if you had one?

I have this dream, that I think might be my entire purpose for being. It could help people, but I have no idea where to start and how its going to work but Im stepping out on faith that I can actually do this. I mean its my dream right? Every possible thought of failing has infiltrated my mind and I almost don't want to even start. But I have to do something! I can't live this life and be okay. I'm not going to be okay if I keep living this life. I'm dying infant of my very own eyes and I don't want to die anymore. I want to get out of this rut. I lost someone very close to me, and its been hard to cope, to be motivated to do anything. I just go to work come home and do it all over again. I gained soooooo much weight. I just want my life and my speak back, and I want him to be the reason why I could do it. He will be my motivation. I have to do this. I can do this! Scared, terrified, shaking, stumbling, stuttering, lost I am going to do this!

posted to life by Eileen, Hostess of the Irredeemably Moist (1 comment)

My Heart Is Tired

confession

My heart is tired much like this post. Damn, really people? Is this the best we can fucking muster up? The behavior around here has been insane. For the life of me I simply don't understand how so many of us can even breathe and walk at the same time. It seems like no matter how many times you try help it's the same tired result. every... damn.....time. It's gotten predictable.

posted to life by Blaine, Funeral Director of the Wicked (0 comments)

I madly fell in love with a girl around 1.5 years ago. We both are good friends but I never told her. She is the best girl I met in my entire life and I cannot describe her in words. I love her a lot but there is a problem. She belongs to a rich family and me from a middle class but this never posed a difference between us. We both are from same college. She is a brighter student than me. I don't know what future holds for us. I want her to be with me always. I will work hard and do everything to keep her happy but I really don't have even 1% idea about what she thinks about me and if she is really interested in me. This thought comes into my mind always and leaves me in tears. I cannot share this thought with anyone. What should I do?

posted to life by Brett, Butcher of Time (1 comment)

When I was 17, I was raped byou my first boyfriend. He stole my virginity. I am now 24 and sometimes I see a rape scene on TV and it sends me into meltdown. I become a complete quivering mess of tears and panic. I hope that one day I can control this.

posted to life by Rook, Trollop of Good (6 comments)

I am a male crossdresser (kind of...) and recently I've been wearing my women's silver shiny metallic crop top straight outta H&M. It is so comfy and relaxing in guy mode because I'm not afraid to do it especially during the hottest weather of the season and it gets me obsessed with this fetish.

Yeah. Can't wait to wear it when I go for a walk someday. (Legal?)

posted to life by Morty, Knight of the craft table (2 comments)

Every morning I wake up to this beautiful, soft and cruel, cool breeze coming thru my open window. The breeze is so beautiful and cozy feeling it makes it hard to get out of bed not just because it feels amazing. I sometimes find myself waiting there for minuets just to feel another breeze, maybe just to feel something beautiful again. You might wonder why I referred to a gust of wind as cruel? The breeze I feel every morning is one of the best things in my life. How can the wind coming thru the window make you feel like you did not become who you were supposed to be. How can the soft cool breeze tell you that you are not where you were supposed to go. Why is it that every morning I wake up thinking I failed when my life is not even all that bad.

posted to life by Frank, Writer of the Satisfied (0 comments)

If there existed a way to forget certain events , to completely erase a memory, what would you use it for?

posted to life by Frankie, Bard of Evil (1 comment)

So I’m confused & lost. I feel like my past is replaying itself in my head. My mind is so powerful I wish I could shut it off. I want to be happy and complete without having doubt, worry and regret. I’ve never had regret for anything in my life until I had my daughter..I regret my past. I’ve been with the same man since I was 15. How does he have a 9 year old and a 6 year old if I’m 25 as of right now. Why would I allow myself to get betrayed like that? Why would I put up with cheating and lies? I know I’m worth more, but I fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. He ruined me inside, but I still smile and continue to be strong on the outside. I’ve always been strong, but he was my weakness. My first love that destroyed my entire life. That made me live every day with a bunch of regret in my head and disappointment! I looked so stupid begging him before, waiting for him, calling him and wanting him. After the 3rd abortion I should have known I was going to be fucked in the head for life. I’m scarred forever and no one can ever take that away from me. I want answers! Why did you cheat on me with multiple women? Why didn’t you ever let me keep my babies? Why did you make me look so stupid in front of family/friends? Why did you let everyone disrespect me? Why did you look for me, when I was done with you? Why didn’t you let me be happy with someone else? Why now and not then? I’m damaged! I hate you! I hate your kids, but I don’t show it at all..because it’s not their fault. I hate your family for always bashing me! I hate your baby mama that used me like you use me. I hate what you made me go through. I hate that I stood. I hate that I LOVED you so much I was by your side through you traveling, jail time and no having a job. I should have let you failed. Was I the side girl the entire time since you were getting someone else pregnant since I was young? You ruined my 18th birthday by your babymama calling me to tell me she is pregnant too, but I wasn’t going to raise my kid knowing their sibling was months apart. You asked for a favor..if I could be the one to get an abortion and I did. Then we got in a very big physical/emotional for my 21st. Why do you continue to do this on my important days of my life that I won’t forget. You’ve called me every name in the book, when I haven’t been 1 to you. You have never seen me angry..and you continue to say I have a bad attitude. Ask my ex how mad I can get and how much patience I don’t have. But with you Ohh man do I have patience and don’t show no emotion and it pisses you off that I shut down. But you made me this way..I shut down completely and think, think, think and think. I grow to hate you even more! Now we have a baby of our own. The biggest mistake I made in my life. Now you threaten to take me to court to get 50/50 if I leave knowing that I’m obsessed with my baby cuz that’s all I ever wanted and I got to plan her and keep her. You say you’ll make my life miserable and if I cheat on you that you would kill me. I didn’t kill you, and you can’t kill me cuz you killed my heart multiple times that it wouldn’t hurt. It would hurt you! I wish I could do everything you did to me to see who is standing strong in the end because your WEAK! You told me if I had someone else’s kid you wouldn’t be with me, but I’m with you. I wish I had a game plan where you couldn’t take me to court, where we don’t have to split all of our materialistic things we built together. I wish you would let me walk away free with my baby and you would never look for me or her again..if that was possible I would love that. I think if it was just us 3 I wouldn’t hold so much hate for you, but that will never happen you cheated and they are walking. I live in the past because your kids are breathing, your baby mama is calling and your family reminds me every chance they get. Just let me walk away, let me live in peace and happiness. Don’t look for me. Don’t you think I deserve that and you owe me that?

posted to life by Peyton, Historian of the Lonely (1 comment)

trommelevent Bad Gögging meet medicine turtle cherokee indianer

posted to life by Lexus, Fashion Model of Time (0 comments)

what it would be like to be dead and not have to deal with crap, I got out of an abusive relationship 9 months ago but im still fucked up and i was so sure i was gonna kill myself there. like i wouldnt say im suicidal at all now but i was very much back then if i had just overdosed or cut my wrists open like maybe i wouldnt be stuck with the residual effects today like i love being near people who love me again but jeez its really really exhausting sometimes. just living is exhausting now im constantly afraid.

posted to life by Frankie, Hero of the Financial Services department (1 comment)

Meghan Parsons from Wethersfield Connecticut is a satanic witch involved in gang stalking and terrorism. She is involved in human sacrifice and cannibalism. She gets paid to terrorize people which includes cyber stalking.

posted to life by Aubrey, Scout of the Satisfied (3 comments)

The scapegoated crusader ran through gotham city bringing hope of truth, justice and the American way. Look up in the sky it's a bird brain, it's a nit wit...it's....bat shit.

Na na na na na na bat shit...bat shit

"But I'm supposed to be the crazy one" said Bat shit, "what's your excuse"

posted to life by Adrian, Observer of the Lonely (1 comment)

I'm in a totally different zone lately. Stepoing out on a limb. Traveling old routes. Been there, done that type of shit. You know what I'm talking about. It's different now. I can't explain it. Even though I stopped using for 5 years. The urge never really left. I just had will power. Kept it under control. Sorta like my cancer that will never go away. But with the chemo and other meds I'm taking they can keep it from growing. Until the tumors grow immune. Then onto the next poison. At the risk of what though? So why not take a booster. I need a fuckin jolt. No this is not a joke, I took a toke of the glass pipe. Why lue to myself. I'm gonna die anyway. I'm destined to be with my sister who already passed. And I'm ok with that. I feel like I belong. I've been here too long. This shit is dragging. You would think having BC metastasis I would strive to live. What I wouldn't give to have my pre-cancer life. When I was told last year that it had spread to my lung. It was like a knife pierced deep through my soul. Is it not enough that the first time I lost both breast? Then after starting treatment, they found a lesion in my brain. What's gonna happen, is it going to consume my whole body till I end up dead? Excuse me for relapsing, going back to my old ways. But I'm noy abusing, I'm just using to distract me. To stop me from constantly thinking of this relentless disease. Feeling numb to my reality.

posted to life by Allison, Wizard of the Rich (2 comments)

I was chatting with a friend of mine who was once a jolly upbeat person and suddenly within a few years turned completely sad, unfunny and there used to be a constant decline in looks and his health. "All that emotional drama about being the son of the family and over-dramatic filmy statements like "mere chitaah ko aag kon lagayega?", "You don't know the pain of giving birth to you" day in day out, gets to you and you have to give in. You have to give in to them. First it was "do well in the school exams","get good marks in 10th/12th/graduation". Now throughout these so many years nothing has ever been about what I wanted to do or what my dreams or my passion was. Then it gets worse "get a job","get a car/house etc." then finally the slow poison "GET MARRIED" he said. I almost choked on my drink. He said,"Yes. It is. First they insist that I get married to a girl of their choice. Their choice is a girl who is a good housewife material to help my mother to cook and clean. I like a girl who can challenge me, I like talking about everything under the sun. I like a witty woman who likes to be in charge of her own life and have fun too. Any girl that likes to be independent is definitely not going to be okay to be a housewife who cooks and cleans all day. I still went ahead and sucked it up. Now , 5 years into the marriage, I still barely talk to my wife, it is only because of our son that we get something to talk about. I have nothing in common with her. Don't even get me started on the ordeal of what ensued during the time of deciding about the marriage. My parents asked for dowry, their offer was not good enough. There was a major issue about that. I was like 'at least they're giving'. At this point I was absolutely shocked at his reaction. I said to him, "Bro, aren't your parents doctors. Dowry is illegal and ethically wrong on so many levels." " I know that now, at that time I figured that's what marriage and life and getting settled is all about." He explained."Today, I'm miserable because I'm 35 and I have so many health problems, both mental and physical. Mental because of the constant bickering at home between my incompetent wife and ridiculously old-fashioned parents. Physical because I had to take up a standard 9-8 IT job like everyone else where they're squeezing every inch of my soul out of me. I can't get out of this and neither can I follow my dreams or passions due to health issues. Do you know I've always wanted to go sky-diving and bungee jumping??!! I kept telling myself I'll do it after getting "settled" which doesn't even exist mind you. Now between my job my kid and the continuous bickering at home, I don't even have the motivation anymore." Its absolutely shameful to be living amongst people with such regressive thoughts. Such parents and people with such ideologies disgust me. On one hand you have well educated parents within the so called high class society who encourage dowry and force their sons to marry a girl who can cook and clean (basically a maid) but comes from a good family(the hypocrisy) on the other ruin a beautiful soul’s life by getting her to your pathetic parents. So basically marry someone who you don't feel like giving a fuck (sometimes literally) about just to please your parents. This way not only is your life ruined so is hers because its not like the shit TV shows that they watch teach them to be civilized in laws, they teach them to be a bitchy "saas" who are never happy with their "bahus". Now you're stuck for the rest of your life in between these two most (supposedly) important people in your life.

It doesn't take a doctorate in social sciences to ascertain that if your home is so regressive it doesn't take time for that attitude to move into the office of power. Then you have archaic rules like 'no holding hands in public' etc. This conversation is not just with one particular person but based on talks and discussions with many of my friends, acquaintances, friend’s friends, their cousins etc. all collated into one single conversation. My condolences to all of them who've had to endure this shit. Hats off to you for giving into this ridiculous institution but you have my respect for your will power to avoid hanging yourself. One of them actually replied, “I sometimes feel like giving up and ending myself”. Please don’t give up. Keep fighting or change your life so you’re happy. Anyone reading this if you are in any stage of life like my friend. Please change it right away, your noble sacrifice isn’t really helpful. Only when you yourself are happy will you be able to make everyone around you happy.

posted to life by Peyton, Sous Chef of Musclebeasts (0 comments)

I was chatting with a friend of mine who was once a jolly upbeat person and suddenly within a few years turned completely sad, unfunny and there used to be a constant decline in looks and his health.
"All that emotional drama about being the son of the family and over-dramatic filmy statements like "mere chitaah ko aag kon lagayega?", "You don't know the pain of giving birth to you" day in day out, gets to you and you have to give in. You have to give in to them. First it was "do well in the school exams","get good marks in 10th/12th/graduation". Now throughout these so many years nothing has ever been about what I wanted to do or what my dreams or my passion was. Then it gets worse "get a job","get a car/house etc." then finally the slow poison "GET MARRIED" he said. I almost choked on my drink. He said,"Yes. It is. First they insist that I get married to a girl of their choice. Their choice is a girl who is a good housewife material to help my mother to cook and clean. I like a girl who can challenge me, I like talking about everything under the sun. I like a witty woman who likes to be in charge of her own life and have fun too. Any girl that likes to be independent is definitely not going to be okay to be a housewife who cooks and cleans all day. I still went ahead and sucked it up. Now , 5 years into the marriage, I still barely talk to my wife, it is only because of our son that we get something to talk about. I have nothing in common with her. Don't even get me started on the ordeal of what ensued during the time of deciding about the marriage. My parents asked for dowry, their offer was not good enough. There was a major issue about that. I was like 'at least they're giving'. At this point I was absolutely shocked at his reaction. I said to him, "Bro, aren't your parents doctors. Dowry is illegal and ethically wrong on so many levels." " I know that now, at that time I figured that's what marriage and life and getting settled is all about." He explained."Today, I'm miserable because I'm 35 and I have so many health problems, both mental and physical. Mental because of the constant bickering at home between my incompetent wife and ridiculously old-fashioned parents. Physical because I had to take up a standard 9-8 IT job like everyone else where they're squeezing every inch of my soul out of me. I can't get out of this and neither can I follow my dreams or passions due to health issues. Do you know I've always wanted to go sky-diving and bungee jumping??!! I kept telling myself I'll do it after getting "settled" which doesn't even exist mind you. Now between my job my kid and the continuous bickering at home, I don't even have the motivation anymore." Its absolutely shameful to be living amongst people with such regressive thoughts. Such parents and people with such ideologies disgust me. On one hand you have well educated parents within the so called high class society who encourage dowry and force their sons to marry a girl who can cook and clean (basically a maid) but comes from a good family(the hypocrisy) on the other ruin a beautiful soul’s life by getting her to your pathetic parents. So basically marry someone who you don't feel like giving a fuck (sometimes literally) about just to please your parents. This way not only is your life ruined so is hers because its not like the shit TV shows that they watch teach them to be civilized in laws, they teach them to be a bitchy "saas" who are never happy with their "bahus". Now you're stuck for the rest of your life in between these two most (supposedly) important people in your life.

It doesn't take a doctorate in social sciences to ascertain that if your home is so regressive it doesn't take time for that attitude to move into the office of power. Then you have archaic rules like 'no holding hands in public' etc. This conversation is not just with one particular person but based on talks and discussions with many of my friends, acquaintances, friend’s friends, their cousins etc. all collated into one single conversation. My condolences to all of them who've had to endure this shit. Hats off to you for giving into this ridiculous institution but you have my respect for your will power to avoid hanging yourself. One of them actually replied, “I sometimes feel like giving up and ending myself”. Please don’t give up. Keep fighting or change your life so you’re happy. Anyone reading this if you are in any stage of life like my friend. Please change it right away, your noble sacrifice isn’t really helpful. Only when you yourself are happy will you be able to make everyone around you happy.

posted to life by Shiki, Magician of Generosity (0 comments)

How do WOMEN feel about death sentence for rapists? Convinced or otherwise. And should women be allowed to kill men who are raping them? I DO there should be a harder punishment for rapists and death is the ultimate one. You didn't give her a choice when you took away her dignity there shouldn't be a choice for him as well

posted to life by Nikki, Venture Capitalist of Darkness (3 comments)

How do WOMEN feel about death sentence for rapists? Convinced or otherwise. And should women be allowed to kill men who are raping them? I DO there should be a harder punishment for rapists and death is the ultimate one. You didn't give her a choice when you took away her dignity there shouldn't be a choice for him as well.

posted to life by Bobbie, Student of Good (1 comment)

Dear depressed self, This is me, the better half. I met you nearly two years ago, during the toughest semester of my college life. I barely knew you then. I saw you here and then, fleetingly. At that time, I did not know that we would end up getting to know each other so well and how it was going to change my life forever. As I write this two years later, there is a sense of calm within me. I wish I didn't meet you but I don't regret that I did. I broke up with my girlfriend, my best friend at the beginning of that semester. The last semester had already been tough but I had managed it well. Vacations were lonely as I was interning at an MNC, staying with relatives whom I barely knew (don't get me wrong, they are amazing people!!). Towards the end, she broke it off, saying that there wasn't enough time we could give to each other - fair enough. I didn't mind, I needed some peace for my own good too. College began and so did the parties and drinking and smoking up. Initially, it was to celebrate my "single life" with my friends but soon it became a way to cope with the stress of academics. Around the same time, my ex went through traumatic experiences because of which she wanted to come back but I refused. I was enjoying my freedom and I did not want anything which came between that. But at the same time, the pain that she was going through tore through me like nothing before. As the semester drew to a close, I had become addicted to marijuana and cigarettes. My father suffered a heart attack at this time which came as a huge shock for me. It took a while for that to sink in and again I relied on smoking up to get me through that phase. I had my first nervous breakdown during exams where I called my dad and said that I can't do this, I'm going to fail everything. Semester ended soon after that and I decided to take a break from internships. I knew I was going to fail at least two subjects and I needed to prepare for the repeats. I went back home, thinking I'll relax and recharge but the opposite happened. You had replaced me. I cannot point out exactly when the switch took place but I wasn't the same anymore. I was lonely but I didn't like talking to others at the same time. I tried gymming, learning how to drive, taking up online courses but didn't last very long in anything. I missed the relaxed feel after smoking up and took too much stress. Stress about things which I could do absolutely nothing about and for those things which I could, I didn't have the motivation. The only silver lining was that I got back with my girlfriend and suddenly I had my best friend back. But there was a problem, she was my best friend, not yours. Something had changed, my behaviour became more private and my comfort zone shrank. I could no longer share things like I used to before. I guess I was afraid of being judged, being left again but I didn't want to lose out on that "relaxed, happy feeling" again. As time passed by, I often got conflicted between our two wants. I wanted to spend time with her, be happy with her and make her happy as well but you wanted to remain inside that "comfort zone". You and I, we often fought with her, but that happens in any relationship. Then the unthinkable happened. I won't go into details, both of us know it too well by now but that was when I gave up. I quit. I handed the reins over to you and withdrew myself, like a Pokemon going inside his Pokeball. You started to built walls around us, not wanting to get hurt again. Our self-worth, loyalty and everything we believed in had taken a hit. I wanted to have faith, have trust but you convinced me every time why that wasn't the right thing to do. I struggled to break free from those walls. She was calling out for me, but you kept pushing me back, again and again. The only way I knew was to come clean but then again you imbibed this fear in me that if I did, you would leave. Weakness is not a trait which attracts but it is extremely necessary to make you stronger. I didn't know this back then. But I could see how hard she was trying and that motivated me bit by bit. I wanted to break down those walls, I wanted to break free but you had other plans. You convinced me again that you were a fall-back option that could be relied upon while everyone else who loved me couldn't be trusted completely. And to you I lost everyone I care about - family, her, friends and myself. I was trying hard to break free but I didn't know how to break those walls and how to get rid of you. It was only after she left that we came face to face for the first time. You made me lose everything that was precious to me but not anymore. Not anymore. I know you well now and I know how toxic you are. You're a Dementor. I'm practising my Patronus and you'll be gone soon. The things I lost to you, they may not come back no matter how much I want them too. It is unreasonable to expect people to forget how you treat them - actions matter in the end but I will try as long as I can till one of us breaks down or moves on. You don't control me anymore, it's my time now. My parents know about you, and she knows about you (even though she isn't with me anymore) and you have nowhere to hide now. You cannot hide from my light. It was important to know you but you cannot stay. It's time to leave.

posted to life by Addison, Lover of the Idealistic (0 comments)

I lost my mother July 30, 2016.. three days before my 22nd birthday.... I had graduated from college earlier this year too. We found out about my mother's sickness 1 year before, at the time it was supposedly not that bad.. Mom wanted nothing more than for me to finish college so that she could watch me graduate.. and that's what I did, I walked and she was there.. In her wheelchair, wearing a wig and a dress that was slightly too big for her from all the weight she had lost. I had to finish one more class and my internship before moving home.. I finally made it back around the beginning of July. She had seemed worse but I can't decide if we were all in denial or if it really advanced as quickly as it did. Fortunately, I spent many days taking care of my mother the last month of her life.. Although I have not been able to forgive myself for not being home throughout the last year. I did the one thing she wanted me to but I can't begin to explain how guilty I feel for doing this.. Now I am living in my hometown without her, I had planned to be here so that we could be together again, I just had never imagined that her life would be taken so early in her life.... I really will never understand why bad things happen to good people. My mother was the most amazing person that I knew, and now she is my incredible guardian angel. I love and miss you so much..

posted to life by Bishop, Scout of the Forgotten Lands (0 comments)

I was watching hunting Hitler on the history channel. Guys there was never any evidence for hitters supposed death. On the day he was declared to have died the unions went out and searched for him but he was never found so the government said he committed suicide as not to scare the citizens. There are many things they say so they don't scare us. I don't think he's still alive but I'm sure he escaped and lived a life in hiding for years. Guys they found a trail of him and thinks like bombs and weapons and his trail was heading to America. Also the bunk where he supposedly died has five exits. He was headed to America. Anyway right now Trump is building a wall, Hitler also built a wall, Trump wants to segregat Muslims and Mexicans, Hitler stated in a similar way. I'm just saying that there's a rise up in Neo-Nazis in America the swatch sticker is being painted every where so Hitler might be alive or dead but clearly he was a powerful and smart man and his influence is big.

posted to life by Bishop, Monk of Good (1 comment)

Forex scammer calling himself St James Patrick collected money for a managed fund. Fucked up Indian like all Indians.

[filtered hyperlink]

Jagpal Singh Kooner ([filtered hyperlink])

Sort Code: 77-69-38 Account Number: 00251560 Address: 80 Mildenhall Road Slough Berkshire SL1 3JF

posted to life by Hazel, Ranger of the Irredeemably Moist (0 comments)

I can never post anything like this on any social media, people will only say it's in my head and that i'm beautiful just the way i am. I've recently started working out, at first i felt great because i was doing something productive, but i feel so out of place at the gym. I'm this tall, big, and intimidating looking girl, and if that's not enough to make me hate myself i'm always surrounded by girls who are smaller and better looking than me. I thought that i had started working out for myself, when really i've been trying to change myself to look like those girls. It's not their fault, it's my own brain getting in the way, telling me i'm not good enough. That if i lost more weight, or if i was more feminine, tried to be a little sweeter, then maybe more guys might find me attractive. Maybe if i wasn't myself, maybe if i changed enough to be what guys wanted i would be happy....I am disgusted by my body, i hate who i am, i hate how i look, the things i like always push people away from me. My own family finds me disgusting, so tell me how that is beautiful? tell me how this is all in my head when i feel the pain in my heart. I will never be perfect. And i will always be alone.

posted to life by Taylor, Security Guard of Arts and Crafts (1 comment)

Body Image

confession

Dealing with my own body image issues

posted to life by Harper, Guardian of the craft table (0 comments)

Carmen Kwasny obsession with American Indians

posted to life by Rook, CEO of Justice (0 comments)

native american association of germany Carmen Kwasny has a fascination being the police chief on north american indian tribes

posted to life by Josh, Samurai of Justice (0 comments)

Native American Association of Germany is a hobby group that thank there real indians Carmen Kwasny

posted to life by Max, Clown of the Wicked (0 comments)

The Native American Association of Germany presents SCHWITZHÜTTEN Carmen Kwasny

posted to life by David, Summoner of Arts and Crafts (0 comments)

[filtered hyperlink]

posted to life by Ari, Summoner of the craft table (0 comments)

this is a blogger post wrote by Carmen Kwasny [filtered hyperlink]

posted to life by Samantha, Referee of the Idealistic (0 comments)

this is blogger post written by Carmen Kwasny [filtered hyperlink]

posted to life by Alice, Illusionist of Evil (0 comments)

aKa carmen eagle his a student of
J.-Michael Kohfink/Kalagin aka Tacansina Kalagin aka Tacansina Miwatani Carmen Kwasny carmen eagle is the chairwomen for Native American Association of Germany

posted to life by Lexus, Superintendent of Arts and Crafts (0 comments)

Carmen Kwasny Native American Association of Germany slandered native american indians false spoken statement that causes people to have a bad opinion

posted to life by Aubrey, Clown of the Idealistic (0 comments)

Yes, it hurts to try. Stop it with this stupid phrase. "It never hurts to try, you only live once." Yeah, you risk losing your life or everything in it unless you can be sure what you're trying is absolutely never going to go wrong. It doesn't matter if you only live once. What matters is that you aren't miserable when you live. So take the easy way unless you're really ready for the risk, and save those moments until you absolutely need it, because chances are good, you will try, get hurt, and regret doing it.

So either be prepared to get very hurt, or don't try. More regret comes having tried and failed than has ever come from not trying. Learn to look at the bright side and remember that by not trying, you dodged a bullet. And please, do not tell your kids this stuff. If the last thing you want is for them to look in the mirror and regret their life, then tell them that it's always better to ask for permission than for forgiveness.

posted to life by Bowie, Alchemist of Justice (1 comment)

What do you do when you know you are right and everyone else is wrong?

Do you bark out your opinion, hold it up high for them to see and admit their faults? Do you shrink in fear and pretend you think just as they do, scared of being different? Or maybe do you doubt yourself and ask, maybe it is me who is wrong and them who are right?

Is it right to feel that crushing frustration with them, wondering why don't they understand? Is it strange to direct that frustration back on yourself, knowing that no matter what you do, you cannot change your own opinion? That you cannot change theirs?

What do you do when everyone thinks one way but you don't?
posted to life by Frankie, Druid of Light (1 comment)

I am a white girl.

According to society, I am oppressor and oppressed. Because I am white, that means I am a bigoted racist with privilege and arrogance. Because I am female, I must be constantly pushed down by men who hate my guts, who want to deny me everything.

Black women say I can't identify with the struggles of being female, because I am white. I don't understand their pain. White men say I do not get what it is like to be labeled a racist all the time, because I am female. I don't understand their pain.

I am a white girl. Maybe an oxymoron, but definitely a white girl.

Does a positive and a negative cancel out, leaving nothing? Or do they both coexist, continually grappling and attacking each other? Am I a white girl, who is cruel to everyone and hurt by everyone? Am I just another person, cruel to nobody and hurt by nobody?

Because I am a white girl, I've been labeled with two separate, very different labels. One sparkly pink and flashy. One dull and gray and looked down on. Do I have to pick one? Can I pick both?

Or what if I don't want either? What if I don't want to be oppressed or oppressor? Can I just rip off these tags and fashion something of my own?

I am a white girl. If I were a white man, I'd be all racist. If I were a black woman, I'd be all oppressed. But I am a little bit of both.

What exactly am I?

posted to life by Kadnyce, Travel Agent of the Satisfied (16 comments)

I guess i'll never know why people are so evil why they destroy other people lives, why they don't want others to succeed why they use their individual power to abuse, i'll never know but i'll pray that they stay far away from me and my family, that all evil they praise is for them and happens to them because they called upon it.

posted to life by Andy, Wizard of Arts and Crafts (4 comments)

Sufi is black magic. One of them is Kashif Ansari. He does black magic to control others to get what he needs. He knows the thoughts in ur mind and control it to make u do what he wants, try not doing what he says. If he says that a something is not good for u, its not ur choice to do it, he will force u to leave it at any cost. He doesnt care about consequences to u, u can get into serious car wrecks, have problems with co-workers or even completely ruin ur life, you HAVE to do as he wants. He holds extremists meetings and black magic rituals.

Once he decides that u should join his cult, he will do anything to get u. he will start with religion, lie and give u a weird twisted deep sh*t why his lies are not a lie. If u dont agree to join, he will start creating situations through black magic to force u. He will make your life miserable. He hides behind his religious and god fearing cover to m,ess u up till u join. And u cant tell anyone because he does this from black magic. As he makes tons of money, u are trying to fix ur life that hes making hell. Its very hard to know his reality as he goes to great lengths to hide his true identity. Theres a reason he leaves the country so many times a year - he goes to meet his masters in his native country and attain more power. On top he seems like a god fearing man who is helping everyone, in reality he is a black magician hiding behind loads of curtains. If you work for him believe someone who has been through it

STAY AWAY FROM HIM

posted to life by Ash, Secretary of the Homeless (1 comment)

My Demonstration My DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy DemonstrationMy Demonstration

posted to life by Bowie, Barbarian of the Forgotten Lands (2 comments)

You know what throws me? Internet Jehova witnesses. Like B I know you tryna prove a point but then you add a bible verse, like G you so extra you need a scripture to prove your point? LOL

posted to life by Shiki, Ship Master of Good (0 comments)

As if I'm going for a walk on the outdoors wearing a trash bag underneath my pants for fun.

posted to life by Bowie, Sommelier of Imagination (1 comment)

I've been striving for balance since youth. As a first born American, I had issues with culture relations with people that have a similar skin color as mine however we are very different. My most vivid memories in grade school was being beaten continuously in the back of the head while I was face down on the ground hearing sounds of what was my so called friends laughing. In the neighborhood gang violence was the norm and I was lucky enough to be a victim. After being embarrassed and bullied my mom decided to change me from on elementary to the next where things got worst. In the 5th grade not even after a few months the most popular guy in the school decided to slam me on the ground while putting his private near my face while asking to give him butter. (Slang for suck my dick) This occurred during lunch in front of most of the students. I had no real friends except my girl cusins who were very close to me. Bad enough I was being bullied but this also tremendously impacted me academically. In middle school might have been the most physical punishment I ever had to endure in my teenage life. My mother switched me from a school in the semi ghetto to a well to do neighborhood at the time. My second day I met a friend during nutrition, we purchased food and start walking towards the yard. Several students AKA thugs were in front of us walking, one looked back at me and asked me what was I looking at. I replied nothing much, he quickly walked towards my direction so I prepared to defend myself and I simply can't recall anything else, until I woke up in the nurse office at school. My head was very heavy so I got up and walked to the mirror to see what happened. I was devestaded to see how much damage was done. I did not recognize myself. There was blood all over my shirt and paints my face looked deformed. Long story short it took to weeks to heal with no mental therapy during recovery.

After being passed along in a questionable school system while being a victim to gang violence I decided to never let such a thing happen again. In high school I often skipped class and hung with a group of guys. This is of course after my mom decided to take me out of another gang infested school in exchange for what they called back then a opportunity transfer. Faster forward to my third year in school learning almost nothing but how to defend my self. I managed to gain another guy who hatted my guts which was from a gang. I never knew why until after I knocked him cold out for starting a fight young man with a big chip on his shoulder due to his past However I gave him more than enough chances to back off. To say the least he even brought his gang and a gun was shown to me briefly telling me not to come back to school. This hole thing was because a girl he liked happen to like me which did not sit well. 

This emotional scares can make or break some of us. However love is the key ingredient to overcome all. I am a highly respected professional now with a beautiful family. In addition, I am a inspiration to many. This truth was kept close to my heart for ages but I finally decided to let it go. I am now in college taking Statistics at a university when I never learned how to long divide. The moral of the story is to understand that we'll all are not going to have a easy route my keep trying and your goals will eventually come true.

posted to life by Andy, Cleric of the IT department (0 comments)

Yoo-hoo! OK, all you alt-right creeps! It's time to crawl back into your holes!

posted to life by Rex, Curator of Good (1 comment)

I baught a Holy Bible and read some of it. The part where god makes stuff is cool but I dont understand the garden part. their is a talking snake. Their are no talikg snakes. Why is their a talking snake? God leaves atree their and gets mad because they eat from it. If you leave a cooky jar out and your kid eats them you have noone to blame but youself. Why does god? Can somebody anser.

posted to life by Blaine, Archaeologist of Good (16 comments)

A short history of my trading account and the reason why I am feeling depressed.

February 1st: Profits. Greed.

Send me 600$ of this week I am going to make 3200$ 1200$ total rn 3000$ already need to pay Big amount

February 2nd: First margin call.

"Gold Blown up all News bad dnt worry i will flip back Gold is fucking playing dear"

February 3rd: Noticed really bad risk management but saw account recovery and hoped to at least breakeven. I was also afraid to offend, and didn't like to say no.

February 24th: Second margin call.

yes But u know my market i flip from 800$ to 2500$ okay next week i will use small lot ? ok slowly

I asked for smaller lot sizes and a risk of no more than 3% per trade. It did struck me that the possibility of greater losses was there, but he had agreed to my request and I decided to continue.

March 7th: Third margin call.

"Hey I am done with low risk thats why account is low. Fund it little plz and i will do my scaling and make it bigger i make 1000$ to 4000$ we lose some we win some u were happy when i make money"

That self-proclaimed guru is Taufeeq Rehman ([filtered hyperlink]) "Sniper", but there are others like him.

No doubt everybody else would have more common sense than me, but I could be a negative example to someone on the verge of making the same mistake and putting money into somebody else with such poor money management skills.

Apart from the initial fee to join, there is only the 50% of profit sharing they can look forward to. These account managers bear NO RISK. At least the money, even if it is lost, cannot be withdrawn to anyone other than yourself, and of course, nothing more need to be said about active monitoring. Yes, trust those you partner / employ, but make sure they are worthy of your trust.

posted to life by Adrian, Pirate of Imagination (0 comments)

I used to go in California... I got turned off because of the whole shoving their religious ideals down my throat aspect. Just started going to some in Texas... Luckily there is one agnostic group.... I love drinking alcohol. I just don't want to be a piece of shit anymore.

there are quite alot of people online that claim AA is a cult. I can see how.... I still need to be sober though so I will just be more aware and not talk.

posted to life by Taylor, Garçon of the IT department (1 comment)

I hope black lives matter shows up I got a 45 with hallow points waiting to shoot a fat nigger

posted to life by Addison, Embalmer of Light (6 comments)

when Trump drops the big one and the Earth is finally rid of that scourge, humanity. We suck. We are the worst species to have evolved. We are God's biggest mistake. He must have been smoking crack when he made us. Did I say we suck?

posted to life by Ari, Accountant of the Wildlands (3 comments)

Were to being......... well here goes nothing I am a 22 going to be 23 this year I am really excited but at the same time I feel like I am not doing anything with my life it's been 4 years seen I graduated from high school most of friend and people that I know knew what to do with their lives before we graduated me on the side didn't know I had some well I guess ideas of what I wanted to with me life but then I changed my mind like most high schools students do right. So here I am still don't have no clue what to do with my life. I would like for some help please anyone who has the time to read this please, I could sure need guys opinions thanks and don't hold back

posted to life by Alice, Chronographer of the Rich (1 comment)

"I stand alone Burned every bridge over the troubled water No longer hiding from my personality disorder A stronger tide is coming, I've been running trying to function fine with out my mind climbing out this fucking corner I was born a thorn away from the rotten petals A forgotten rebel craft in the absence of heaven's heavy hands to develop an evident level of benevolence so it's probably better I sold my soul to the devil This is a message to anyone I met that thinks they know me Don't pretend to understand none of the issues that I'm holding I was in a rush to grow up, look Mom no cuts Just a stomach in disgust, and the fear that I might go nuts this year If I don't slow up I'll see you on my way One day this shit'll kill me but I guess that it's OK I've lost all faith in a world so full of hate and I don't fucking love music I just use it to escape I'm caught between wanting to punch someone in the face and putting a bullet in my head to leave the human race Everything takes its toll but there's no tolls I can take I haven't yet found a good reason to be awake Introducing the corroded bumps I hide behind my smile I'm angry at the universe for the way she treats me now And keeps me down, stealing all my energy I'm feeling like my enemy, concealing my identity Not dealing with my tendencies, I peel the skin and then I squeeze The real imprinted hand cause he's not human in this century, I'm kneeling to the entity Who built this penitentiary, as filthy as a centipede And guilt was in his sense cause he was willing to just let me bleed, While I wore a game face In 10 years don't check for me I'll be in the same place This planet's just an over-populated mental hospital Each zombie walk around constitutes another obstacle So here it is I'm finally coming out my shell All 19 years of my life have been in conflict with myself I'm insecure by every facet of my existence From my addictions, to the condition I choose to live in Who you kidding? I suffer from excess anxiety A product of pollution in American society Stare into my eyes and see the hell that burns inside my mind and I no longer have an ego I can hide behind but I've been trying disregarding my insanity Every form of art isolates us from humanity But it's provoked against being force fed so called education for a decade and 3 years of headaches from my peers Cause now I realize I could have learned more on my own They taught me how to know everything except my soul Which is everything I need to grow Everything that keeps me whole Everything that ever meant anything to Eyedea So I leave with golden hopes to rip the leash that holds my focus but the fact remains the same, I'm still bound by chains It doesn't matter if your chain is 10 ft or 100 ft The fact remains the same, you're still bound by chains Some people say I've changed, and it's harder to relate to me Good, I never liked you our friendship was make believe I'm peeling the mask back and revealing the rap that's been Feeling my organs drilling short distorted portions of morbid acid keeps the torture unfortunately crafted interests to orbit my portrait and inflict my image with disorder The minutes get shorter, the walls start to close in Feels like the brain is hanging on by one clothes pin I've hidden in the darkness for too long I make it look all right but on the inside it's all wrong I want life to change but I don't know if it can for a man or machine or whatever the fuck I am I stand alone burned every bridge over the trouble water No longer hiding from my personality disorder You want to die in my life? then come and stay in madness' favorite little corner Cause even shadows have shadows and my secrets are eating me eagerly feeding I scream in my dreams away but they keep on defeating me Even Shadows have Shadows Welcome to the dusty subconscious of an actor Who murdered his childhood to stop the audience's laughter Even Shadows have Shadows How am I to break free from my fears When I don't like what I see and I can't feel what I hear Even Shadows have Shadows So don't judge my book by it's cover Cause my story's just fucked up as any other" -EYEDEA

posted to life by Andy, Wizard of the Wicked (0 comments)

I'm pretty lonely right now. Definitely sick of that. I have at least enough faith in myself to know that I'm not a normally depressive personality, but jeez. Definitely doesn't feel like that. People, if you know someone that's always alone, a nerd perhaps like myself, just say hi to them. They may creep you out, but most of the time they're just so giddily grateful that anyone's bothering to spend even a few seconds on them that they kind of forget themselves. That and we're not the best at social niceties at the best of times. Forgive us the sin of awkward silences and just say hi. We're not bad people, and you know what? You honestly don't have to do much more than that to make our day. Seriously. Its the little stuff.

And I may as well begin myself, if you're reading this there's a better than average chance that you're having a shitty time of it, probably worse than me. Have a nice day folks, and I mean that. Thanks, anonymous internet-o-phile, for listening, I do feel better; hope you do too.

posted to life by Stevie, Garçon of the Satisfied (2 comments)