FearlessBlogging.com: anonymous discussions.

Anonymous, not stupid. ... Please?


Here are some recent conversations:


E. Savarese is using his girlfriend ("J") big time. He's a serial monogamist. Get free before you waste years of your life, woman. Learn to read his body language. Lean to read YOUR body language. Look at the pictures objectively. Open your eyes to what everyone else can see. Love and chemistry is blinding you.  Your neediness is blinding you. What you see is not what you get. What you feel is not real.  He's not into it, like you are.  Not into it FOR what you are. Don't take my word for it. Let the pictures tell you. Bodies don't lie. Take his culture into consideration.  All that touchy feely stuff doesn't mean what you think it does.  Get yourself free.  This is a warning. Look at where his feet, knees, and body are pointing. Away from YOU.  Yours are pointing toward him.  His hands are in his pockets while you're giving with both hands. Count the signs. Do a statistical analysis!  Compare him to you.  Learn to spot a phony smile. Live and learn.  From one woman to another. I don't want you to suffer like I did.
posted to relationships by Bobbie, Venture Capitalist of the Satisfied (2 comments)

He pisses me off so bad. Can you say obsessed much? I hate that people on Facebook still go on about him. He's nothing special, he's obsessed with some girl named Amanda that he can't let go of so he posts about it everywhere on the internet. Amanda's going to get freaked out if she ever see's all that, and I wouldn't blame her either. I wish I knew her last name so I could look her up on Facebook and tell her how far this Zach guy has taken it with being obsessed with her. I'm surprised he hasn't hired people to hunt her down or spies on her through her window. He's a real creep. He's going to develop some weird mental illness where he's going to be obsessed with Amanda for the rest of his life and won't rest until he has her...even if it comes down to having to slit her throat and chop her up where he'll leave her remains in his freezer that he'll go look at every day and admire. I wouldn't be surprised if he would take out her hand and make it caress his face, or even somewhere worse...his p33n0r :o!! STOP POSTING AMANDA GUY WE HATE YOU!! 
posted to life by Blaine, Paladin of the craft table (2 comments)

Alright so I've been dating this boy for over a year now, and everything up to this point has been great. The whole relationship jitters and can't get enough of each other, but i find myself fearing that he doesnt love me like he used to. Even though he says he does i think my insecurities are getting the best of me. Im not the kind of person who just lets people in and when i do , like i have with him, i get very nervous that they will just walk out and leave. How does anyone truly believe that the other peron loves them, how do you take that risk ?
posted to life by Brett, Ship Master of Space (3 comments)

If I could really tell you the way I feel , It would be truly amazing. I'd say that im completely in love with you. I'd say that I love being around you and I love it when you hold me and kiss my forhead and I love the way you look into my eyes. BUt you don't feel like that. You dont love me at all. But I'm stupid enough to keep this thing we have going because I keep telling myself that one day you'll realize you love me. bUt you won't. I can't keep this going any longer. It's killing me inside. If I keep letting you treat me like this I don't think I'll survive. I have to end it but I can't. If i could tell you what I really feel i'd say that all I want is for you to say "I love You". even if we couldn't be together it would be worth it because I would know you feel the same way.  someone help.
posted to life by Samantha, Wizard of the Lonely (2 comments)

This is my first ever blog because i cant say it to him. I need to just to get it somehwere else but my mind. I am 22 years old and finally in a serious relationship. We had one of those summers that just brings a smile to your face thinking about any moment. He fills my heart with such joy, and I do love him, a love I never felt before. But like everyone he and I have pasts. The one thing that is tearing us apart is he is unable to let go and I can. I am not asking to just forget about his always keep it in your heart.. a past is what makes you who you are. But to step over the line and bring  me into it is just wrong. I was so very hurt to find out the things that you said to me that night were part of just getting back and her and him. I took what you said seriously, you have said them before but not like that. To make me think that most those things were coming from your heart that night and they weren't killed me inside. Sorry I got mad when I found out but what would you have done gave you a kiss goodnight and seem like everything was okay. I know why that hole was punched there now... you were mad you lost but to her made you angry. I am not saying what they did to you is right. No he is family you don't do that. But say that to them... don't through our relationship in their face just to let them know you are okay. How would you feel if the tables were turned and I did that to you. Every time that I said I love you i ment it... and I can honestly say that I think you ment them then but not recently. I know you have been hurt badly in the past and I am sorry for you. It hurts my heart that stops you from seeing that I am not going to do that to you. The concert was the night i fell in love with you. Everything was so good till about a month ago. I said sorry so many times for that ... Things got carried away between the both of us. Yes she makes me jealous.. did you think she wouldn't to anyone you date? I know it is not just me .. remember I am friends with your ex-gf before we ever met.  The main thing that sucks so badly is that I love you so much but you break my heart little by little also. I am scared in a way to talk to you.. but I feel so badly that we need to. You make me smile but I have this horrible feeling that since the night you wanted to break up with me... that has stayed a little with you since then. Thats why it hurt so very badly when you told me those things and I know they were just said to make her jealous. Baby thats just not right. I really wish you knew how much you mean to me....
posted to relationships by Addison, Travel Agent of the Unimaginable Terror (1 comment)

so its two days before christmas and it might as well be june for all i know. Even though the radios are blasting holiday sing alongs, i find myself not excited by the moment and lost in joy.
posted to life by Blaine, Sniper of Evil (1 comment)

this is it, ive gone under the stress of everything has hit me, to the point where i am now on an anonymous blogging site, my god, my life is pathetic am i the only who feels this way
posted to life by Max, CTO of the craft table (6 comments)

it sucks..

rant
I'm constantly feeling as though im completley alone in the world.I have a family and plenty of friends but for some reason I just feel empty. I'm not depressed or anything but when  I think about it, I realize that if I had something extremely terrible happening in my life, I would have no one to talk to. I mean i've already been through something terrible (my mother almost past away) and I talked to a person who I no longer am in contact with. I miss him so much. We were so close. I could talk to him about anything and when I was with him it felt so right. I want that feeling back but it scares me when I realize that I might never have it again.
posted to life by Shiki, Writer of the Poor (3 comments)

Okay, I'm getting fed up with these "celebrities," I know not all of them are bad but it seams like most of them are, I applaud people with talent and those who give to charity, but people like Paris Hilton get on my nerves. You need to be famous because you are good at or have accomplished something, not for being hot, wild, and ridiculously rich. Secondly, if you've become famous you need to accept that the public knows what your doing, you need to be a role model, don't complain about how hard it is because you asked for it. As for the others, we shouldn't be worshipping these people anyways. I understand what it means to be a fan but screaming and obsessing over them is a disgrace to the American society. We have multiple magazines and TV show dedicated to them, way too many. We need to learn to live our own lives because they are just as good as the stars. This is my opinion so don't get all upset with me and tell me that I'm wrong, its what I think and I just want to see who agrees and some other opinions
posted to society by Bobbie, Clerk of the Irredeemably Moist (0 comments)

Inquiring minds want to know
posted to life by Dakota, Ranger of the Satisfied (4 comments)

There are companies that ask for your social security number. They compare it to a list. If it is negative you will not be able to fill out an employment form.The companies then can claim they need green cards to fill the positions. The list can deny you of your right to work for any reason and give your job to an alien.
posted to work by Harper, Travel Agent of the Rich (2 comments)

I am married with a 2-year-old daughter. My husband and I get along well only occasionally.  We do not have an ideal marriage by any stretch of the imagination.  I am crazy about my daughter and couldn't live without her.  I like my job pretty well.  I am busy all the time trying to take care of my daughter, working, doing housework, preparing meals, blah, blah, blah....It's such a grind lately.  I've been feeling like I just want a different life, in a different city, with a different man, in a different career.  I'm not usually attracted to other men but lately I find myself watching men that I see while driving, walking down the street, shopping, wherever...  Sometimes I just want to run off to Barcelona or Zurich or Prague.  Maybe I could give espionage a try?  I might be able to leave my husband but never my daughter so hopefully this feeling will go away and I can live my life with some degree of satisfaction.  Does anyone else yearn to ESCAPE?  
posted to life by Adrian, Ninja of the Rich (2 comments)

Inquiring minds want to know
posted to life by Blaine, Chronographer of Darkness (1 comment)

Well, I have a great boyfriend. Anything and everything you could ask for in a guy. Sweet, good hearted, smart, funny, etc. Anyway, I love him. A lot. He goes to a different school. I cant get over to his house a lot for various resons. But there is a guy at my school now, I love him to. I feel so strongly when I am with him. He dosent belive me though, he thinks I am to good for him. But im not, I am not better than anymore, I dont think I am pretty, I am smart though. My problem: I can not chose. The one that I am currently in a relationship with told my that he just wanted me to be happy no matter what. And the guy that goes to my school, dosent like or love me, but my feelings are SO much stronger for him. I need opinions, thoughts, relief from this pain. I have been crying myself to sleep every single night for the past couple of days. So lets emphasize the RELIEF part.
posted to relationships by Frankie, Author of Musclebeasts (10 comments)

I have always thought, then while in a relationship, I do very well. Im not possessive, Im not jealous, I dont call to much, Text to much. None of that. I love my personal space, I value it very much actually. So in return i give my significant other the same respect. My lastest ex, was amazing. We met totally on accident. It was kind of an awkward situation, but it worked. We hung out, talked for hours every night, and basically just had a great time together.  So after a few weeks, I was under the impression that things were going great.Then things took an intresting turn,  I would call to say Hi and ... I would get no answer, no call back. So i did what i probably should not have done and wrote him a message on myspace. It consisted of me explaining that i refuse to chase him around, I wasint going to be some overbearing girl who tried to make him jump into a serious relationship, and further more (not to toot my own horn) I am a successful, smart, funny, attractive woman. Okay okay im only 19, but still all true. I ended it with, Call me if you want. A week or so went by, and what do you know. I wake up to an IM reading: "Can i give you a call in about 30 minutes?" I replied with a simple: "Sure". 30 minutes later, The cell phone goes off. Its him. The conversation was weird. There we countless umm's and silences and then i asked "So, would you like to get together sometime soon?" and then.... he dropped the bomb.  "Well, i sort have been seeing someone else. So im not sure how fair that would be"...  Uhmmm excuse me? FAIR? Fair would be you telling me that we werent seeing eachother anymore, Fair would have been informing me of this little secret, and FAIR would have been not even starting something with me if he wasint even planning on keeping me around for more than a month. Of course i said none of this and responded with: "Seeing someone. Oh.".. I must have sounded foolish. Infact i know i did. I was shocked. What are you supposed to say to that? Well after about 4 more mintues of silence and fake giggles, I told him i would talk to him later. He gave me... "If you call... or if i call"... What the hell is that supposed to mean? Really?. Ugh. You would think that only being 19, I wouldint have much to worry about in the relationship department. Being this young means your supposed to go out, and have fun. Stay single. Live in the moment. However, somehow i always manage to get mixed up in "going nowhere relationships". With the same type of guy, who all have something in common. (i made a name for this disorder they all seem to have) FALSE ADVERTISEMENT    Its so true. All guys put on this front, and pretend to be something there totally not. They act like the perfect man. When in due time, they turn out to be extremley unperfect. No, Im not looking for a perfect guy, because no one is. I am looking for a decent guy. One who, wants to be with me as much as i want to be with them. Will it ever happen? What am i doing wrong? Well its Sunday, the designated day that Mr. Ex and I usually spent together. Oh well, I have a bottle of wine and new cosmopolitan.   This can't what my single life is going to be.... is it? 
posted to relationships by Addison, Counselor of Good (1 comment)

Wow...this is the first time I've ever blogged online...I just needed to write these feelings without anyone close to me knowing about them!  Last June I got engaged to a wonderful man, I was supposed to get married on October 11, 2008.  Well I entered college this past fall during the same week that he was deployed to Iraq...being around the new guys at school gave me a feeling of happiness that I didn't have with my fiance'.  See, we had been apart for over six months and hadn't seen each other once.  I loved the attention I was getting at school...so much that I decided to throw away my fiance' and my upcoming marriage! Now, three months later I am dating a guy from school...but I question my decision everyday.  For the past three months, everyday I ask myself why did I throw it all away. My mother thinks I made the right decision and anytime I say anything about making a mistake she tells me it wasn't a mistake because I didn't go around crying about it. I'm so confused!
posted to relationships by Ash, Fashion Model of the Irredeemably Moist (4 comments)

Can I control my own destiny? I feel like there is an uncontrolable force that is preventing myself to actually break free of society's restraints. I feel like I must conform to everybody's ideology. It makes me wonder when idividualism was murdered and who was the culprit. I ask myself why sometimes I drown my sorrows with more sorrows? Why I want attention from the people who matter most? Why I have to live a life full of injustice? I see myself as a social outcast compared to the people who surround me. Why are the best dreams the ones in which I die. I feel like everyone around is moving at the speed of light and I am running a turtle's race. Running pass thoughts of suicide and feeling depressed seems like all I have at the moment. It seems like the life I am living is cyclical. I don't know what tomorrow will like, but I can only hope that I can finally take a step out the shadows and inhale fresh air... My childhood years felt like the best of times, but it ended too early. I was young, care-free and niave of what the world had to offer in actuality. Where was the confidence that you had to offer me? Where were you when I needed you the most? I felt like I was forced to turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of neglect. A handful of regrets haunt my inner thoughts.... When you saw me happy, it was only a cover-up of my true feelings. I don't the last time I was happy and I don't know when the next time i ever will be. Its gonna take more then a few words to cheer me up. Why is life full of expectations? Why do you expect me to be a certain type of way if it isn't going to be that way in the end? I'm not going to turn out to be the person you want me to be...I see the doubt in your faith on me...I see the truth in the lies you tell.... I've been catergorize into the ranks of not being fit to inhabit this world. Why do I feel this way? I've been living a dream until I was told that it was just a scheme to be used as a prime example of what a teenage adolencent will encounter if the wrong steps were taken.  It's not fair how some people dream of making it big in their young lives and tryna get rich and successful when other people wish for a bullet to pierce their heart so that they can instantly end their sorrows...I feel this way
posted to life by Addison, Scout of Generosity (2 comments)

I have two things on the tip of my fingertips tonight and still have not decided which one to divulge. I suppose the decision has fallen towards sticking with the timeline of events therefore…Death is first. It has been decided that I am the first responder in the event that someone thinks that my grandfather has died in his sleep…or worse. Since the time of my grandmother (mom’s) death the local family and friend have devised a sort of system of phone calls and meal deliveries and scheduled visits that meticulously chart the daily events in my grandfather’s life. Should there ever be an unscheduled event, such as the unanswered daily morning call that my great-aunt makes at 9am every day, she will then call me and ask me to investigate. I work only 2 minutes from my childhood home, and have rarely roamed farther than a 10 mile radius from it’s magnetic grasp in my nearly 32 years. I’ve received several of these bowel stripping calls in the last few years. On one he had fallen and broken his hip and in the most recent I arrived to find him lying naked, incoherent and surrounded by his own excrement. He was rambling on about some hallucination of party streamers and tricks played on him by my cousin. I carefully covered him with a sheet and called my uncle and aunt, who are thankfully registered nurses and somehow accustomed to or blessed with the ability to finesse such a situation. Once they arrived I blended into the shadows and stood in awe of their swift ease at assessing the situation then gently and quickly putting things right. While they labored over him and wiped him as if he was some huge infant I heard him mention me being there and he did his typical simpering impersonation of a female voice with words that I never said. Here he was, totally prone on the floor with his son and daughter-in-law seeing to his most personal care, and he still found the presence of mind to ridicule.
posted to life by Dana, Developer of Generosity (1 comment)

Emily.....

advice
                So I have this friend that can keep her cool better with guys then she ever will be able to with me in a million years. But for some odd reason I always wind up back hanging out with her doing absolutely nothing. I feel like we once had some sort of balance in a push-pull relationship and now she is not only doing all the rope work but is screaming! Constantly! I don’t mind a few raised voices every now and then, I mean it is only healthy, but when it is non-stop over the littlest things I really need to start to question. Which I have; I went a whole year, a very important year, not talking to the girl and we somehow came to amends. The insignificant things she broadcasts piercing cries for ranges from being two minutes late, me not wanting to sleep on the coach, not wanting to switch her seats in the car, me simply asking little questions like “do you wanna pick something up for lunch” or my favorite “We should pick up a newspaper”, there was even one time she completely lost it over spilt milk and an iPod charger….basically if I don’t say “how high” when she says jump. And the worst part is she claims this in the name of love. Love? I’ve heard of tough love but this is just ridiculous! Tough love is a motivational driving force that is delivered from a father or coach. Friends are the supposed to be the support system that you choose to keep you from killing people or self when tough love is being distributed. I know it takes two to tango but through all this I cannot figure out my driving force in all this. It could be because I’m too passive, or the fact that I have been with her so long I can’t imagine my life with out her…not in the romantic way, more of the “it’s habit” way. I have even thought that there could be a slight possibility that deep down I secretly am dying to annoy the shit out of her and that I am exactly like every other girl on the planet and craving drama: complete with catfights and fireworks. So I guess there are a few questions I need to do some soul searching on: can I live without her? If so how will I attempt to fill her shoes? And if I stay can I tolerate it? If so how much longer till I’m back her blogging?
posted to relationships by Charlie, Travel Agent of the Hungry (0 comments)

sick in paranoia.

confession
why am i being so paranoid? i haven't even missed my period yet. but i'm supposed to get it in 2 days, that would be precisely on time. and every month for the past 5 years, i've ALWAYS been early.  this  isn't supposed to happen to people who do everything right. we used condoms, he even wants to wait until i start birth control. the sunday after my next period. hopefully, this sunday. but all the signs are matching up. i'm never sick, last night my stomache felt queazy. i'm always a night owl, and i've been sleeping from 9 to 7 every night for a week. i've been having cramps for a week as well, but nothing, no relief. i'm eating and eating and eating, its just that i feel i should. i cant wait the prolonged 48 hours until i'm officially late. until i can officially take a pregnancy test, and be sure. but hopefully it wont come to that. i can't make those 2 days alone. but i won't tell him until i have to. until i see that the blue lines on that little $15 pee-on stick seal my fate for good.  but what if i am? 
posted to life by Blaine, Historian of the Idealistic (5 comments)

omg. i am so sick of my stupid job.....i work in fast food...not mentioning any names...but he's married to the burger queen...i've been a shift coordinator for two years now...doing the job of an assistant manager for half the pay...and so i go for it....take the assistant manager "compatibility test"...guess what????? i am not 100 percent compatable and therefore unable to advance at this time....have to wait 6 months to take the test again....now i am usually am not one to complain.....but......DANG IT TO HECK....I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP....I WORK TEN HOURS A DAY 5 DAYS A WEEK BUSTIN MY A** FOR THIS COMPANY FOR 8.75 AN HOUR AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET...I CANT BELIEVE THIS......SO I GO OFF ON THE LITTLE MANAGER...AND HERE'S WHAT I GET....I SWEAR TO GOD HE SAID THIS " I WAS REALLY ROOTIN' FOR YOU I FEEL JUST AS BAD AS YOU DO." NO F'N WAY I SAID....YOU GOT NO KIDS ... YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS YOU ARE YOUNGER THAN ME AND I HELPED TRAIN YOU YOU LITTLE S***.  OH IF MURDER WASN'T ILLEGAL...............
posted to work by Dana, Chronographer of the Irredeemably Moist (1 comment)

i mean seriously...i know married life is hard, most times it s down right impossible. but here lately i've had the rough end of the stick. so i start dreaming. i keep having dreams about my wifes best friend, more to the point i keep having dreams about having sex with her in very in appropriate and erotic ways. it doesn't help that my wife has become two scoops of crazy since our marrage. she quit her job got prego,(inthat order) forced me into bankruptcy because i couldn't afford to pay her doctor bills and keep rent carnote credicard bills yada yada. i sank like a rock so now im married misreable bankrupt and scared shitless by father hood, on top of that now i have to worry about my fidelity too? when's it gonna stop god when! I love my wife dont get me wrong but my god she has let herself go! she's gained weight she has stopped bathing regularrly can barely manage to take care of our daughter, sits at home all day long doing absolutely nothing but playing video games and complaining about how much work she has todo with our 2 yr old daughter. wtf guess what i have to do almost every day after i come home from my 9-5 job....i have to wash dishes cus the kitchen is a goddamn wreck looks like a gorrilla on the rag came through the place. then when im done  with that i have to "give my wife a break" and take care of our daughter while she relaxes playing video games or just generally complaining aobut her life. so that entails diaper changes, making dinner for her, bottles of milk and getting her off to bed. some where in there i find the time to take a piss and or shit and eat a scrap of food, or cook a meal for the both of us and i try to sit down for some gaming after my daughter is tucked in. so yeah i guess once you take all that into account its pretty easy to see why i'd be daydreaming at work about having crazy wild slap your momma sex with multiple partners from previous relationships and or those quasi friendships/relationships that never lead me past the gate to her secrete garden ...those are the worst...i recently got contacted by one of those ex gf's that i never had the pleasure of sleeping with and so now my brain is all twisted by my cock, i swear i masturbate at least 4 to 5 times a week on her ass alone. then of course theres the girl who became my best friend that i secretly wanted to fuck since day one..now she's in a steady healthy relationship and im still finding myself wishing I had of made that push to be more than her friend...it would have no doubt resulted in us not being as good of friends as we are now but god damn at least i could have tried and hell who knows maybe i could have gotten the wonderful pleasure of sleeping with her..i mean she was/is the total package, great body wonderful personality blonde blue eyes did i mention rockin body? and she's artistic and compasionate and...loves to give head. how can you beat that! i can't get my wife to go down on me to save my life , i go down on her all the effin time and she acts like my penis is a septic tank or something holy hell i mean no offense to women but a mans dick is way less juicie and gross than a womans vagina. or at least mine is i guess there coudl be some real slobs out there who are nasty as nasty can be. i guess to wrap this up...my vent session ...somedays i really really wish i could just step out side of time and space and just go to those women that i really want to fuck and just do them...no conscious no thinking just straight up fuck thier brains out and enjoy just having those physical pleasures that are soo withheld from me now...and to know what it feels like to be inside her to feel her nice supple breasts in my hands , to be able to wrap my arms around her waste and pull her to me, to feel that closeness that i longged for and pined over for soo man years...to let my demon out and let him lick play touch taste and suck on every  part of her body...oh my god...would be the best 5 mins of my life..lol ha yeah in my dreams i know.
posted to relationships by Bobbie, Embalmer of the Wildlands (2 comments)

For R.....

rant
I hate you so much for everything you did to me. You treated me like a nonhuman.  To you - I was just an object ripe for exploitation.  You stole my money - your leached off my kindness and didn't give two shits about taking everything I did for you for granted. You are a lecherous, disgusting pig.  You do not deserve the status of a human being.  All those nights when lies would spew from your mouth like black and lime green bile poisoning my mind and making me think that I was being unreasonable, controlling and demanding.  You lied to me. You cheated on me. You spread your putrid seed around town without a thought as to who you were hurting. You are selfish and disgusting. You filled your body with poison - you filled my body and mind with lies and cruel manipulations.  You let me believe that you cared about me, that you loved me while you just let your disfunction and addiction reap havoc in our lives.  You took my money without so much as a thank you.  You stole my money and lied about it.  You still go out of your way to torture me to this day.  All those nights where you were at your friend's house or at the art studio - you were not at those places.  You were sleeping with someone else.  I never walked in on you - I never caught you in the act.. but I KNOW what you did and it makes me want to vomit all over the place. You are disgusting.   You hurt me profoundly. You have fucked me up for almost a year now - periodically reasserting yourself in my life. I am absolutely done with your sick and twisted machinations. I am DONE and I never want to see your bloated, blotchy face and your receding hairline ever again.  If you dropped off the face of the earth I would not shed a tear for you. You are a scourge on this planet and cause nothing but pain in your wake.  For the longest time I thought you only treated me so poorly because you had issues separate from our relationship. That you were insecure and had many demons to battle.  Now I know that you are a malicious human being with no soul to speak of. All I see inside you is a field of bubbling mire with poisonous mushrooms feasting off of all the destruction you have caused in people's lives.  You let your mother think you were dead and probably thought it was funny. Your exgirlifriend killed herself because of you. You opened up your raunchy gullet and poured the booze down and what came out after was equally as repellent. You were an impish, two year old child throwing tantrums and seeking out every insecurity visible in someone's eyes and prodding it with a fiery poker.  You did that to your exgirlfriend. She was 18 and she killed herself because of some drunken insult or slur that you directed at her. Yet everyone still likes you. You have an excessive amount of charm to mask all of your reptilian and vile tendencies.  You trick people with your wit and intelligence but you are nothing more than scum.  You can only enchant these people for so long before they discover what you really and what you will do to them. You revel in your alcoholism. You think it is a beneficial aspect of your personality and you mocked me for not partaking in your debauchery. You drank so much that you pissed our bed on two occasions yet you ridiculed my lifestyle choice.  You mocked me for not going out and drinking myself sick every night and insulted the decent, kind friends that I made.    I was an idiot for staying with you for so long and continually making excuses for your behavior.  I am grateful that the experience occurred - it has taught me so much about the capacity of human cruelty.  When you looked at me some of those nights - with a look so full of hatred - I almost believed that the devil did exist. What you were feeling - that hatred - was not for me, but for yourself because I am sure you saw what you did in my eyes and how much it hurt me.  I have heard several people say that they would take a bullet for you in your sober state - but have never met a more horrible person than you when you are drunk.  For the longest time I held out for the sober version of you, who seemed like a decent person.. but now I see that the drunken person was with you all the time. They were one in the same. There is no separation in my mind anymore and that is the reason that I can let myself hate you so completely now.  Goodbye, R. I hope I will never let one of these feelings or thoughts plague my mind or my dreams. I hope by releasing it to the public - somehow it will help set me free. I now see you for what you really are. I will not hope for your redemption - I will not offer some glimmer of hope here at the end. You deserve to suffer for what you have done to so many people.  I can only hope that the universe will self-correct and apply appropriate punishment for your cruel deeds.
posted to relationships by Dana, Superintendent of Wild Parties (3 comments)

so im a late teen with every thing going for me...but as usuall there are obsticals in my way of happyness! my main example is in my love life. i have a wonderful boyfriend of three years of which we have conquered many things, however the interferance of meddeling wee girls is beginning to get to me! i have a good nature were i prefere to talk first and not use my fists unless i have to which is a terribly rare occasion to say the most.   the most recent challange has presented itself in a girl one year younger and a previous friend of my boy whom of which lost touch when she moved school (pity she came back). she is loud and outgoing but the worst part she has my boy in this trap of friendship where she fones texts and emails him daily, she also sees him in school all the time, prefect place to try and wind me up. i made clear to my boy which i am now going to refer to as mr x, she needs to know her place. so he text her and made clear she has not got a chance while he is still in love with me.    but as usuall mr x finds it hard to understand my problem, which is how she told him she has feelings for him although she knows nothing can ever happen, HELLO DUH reverse psychology just because she says that doesnt mean that she means it or is even trying to use that to rope him in. they are very close and i do not like that as i know what she is trying to do.    maybe im paranoid, but as girl with a similar mind and friends to boot who work in the same way to get a guy you would think i would get the benefit of the doubt but no.   i love him with all my heart and i do see a future together in the long term but at the moment i feel betrayed in a way as he is still friends with her even though he knows how much it hurts.   to him it is clean cut friendship, he told her to back off and she has aggreed with him, but she is a devious girl with a bad track record and more guys than friends episodes, all i want to hear from him is "dont worry i understand and yes im aware of her rep and i will be carefull not to give her the wrong impression" i really do trust him but i cant trust her!   i mean tbh (to be honest-tbh) she is everything he hates in a girl...flirts with guys non-stop even when she was in a relationship of her own...lets guys and friends take absurd pic's of her. like the other night she was showing an adult her knickers, friend or not and in public and sober! HELLO SLUT OMW (oh my word- OMW) it really does stress me out how can he like her??? when he hates girls like that.    i know he enjoys her attention it is expected but he needs to admit it and move on in our relationship or move on out of our relationship. i ask him all the time to tell me if he ever feel he wants to break up dont matter if its over another girl or anything esle i would prefer the honesty.   i partly blame some of his friends for thier single lifestyle, where they just use girls for sex even if they are in a relationship it gives him ideas and feelings i dont like, trying to get him to talk is a major problem, he feels that me might hurt me but these secerts and hidden feelings hurt me more!    i would not be worried but for a while he was deleting messages that she sent him, like he was hiding something.   i have decided though that no matter what im am not going to let her see that im annoyed or upset as that is what she wants.   i feel that she is after my relationship, after certain findings recently it would explain alot. the fact she likes attention and likes trying to get what she cant have means that my relationship is in the line of fire from a sleeked jealous girl who does not know when to back off.   i have chatted to both friends and teachers as well as mr x to try and help my paranoia and reslove these issues, but as of yet all i can do is think the worst. this is why i came to the conclusion of posting a blog where know- one know me and i can thrash out my issues without hurting anyone.   my main issue is that i would like to hurt her physically...but as violence gets you know- where i have decided to take a more tactful route to my injustice, also to save face and my relationship.   a famous quote i live by is "keep your friends close and your emnies closer"   another quote i live by is "what goes around comes around" and sometimes ten fold, i want to be there when she trips up and i know she will fake people can never hold their front, they forget at some point and i shall make it my business to be there partly so i can say to mr x i told you so now do you believe me.   i think she is trying to get at me so i break up with him and she can then make her move without feeling guilty and keeping her true spiteful self hidden, but i am tough and can be pretty heartless at times (or so i have heard from close friends) so i am going to do everything in my power to keep my relationship close knit.   my theroy has been tested and proved personally as i was once bullied by close friends, with a little perseverance i saw one leave school and get pregnant to a loser whom of which she apparently loves, another dead end job with a boy 2 years her junior, the rest who joined in also have dead end jobs with no real career prospects and i doubt they ever will have.   with support of friends to back me when times get tough i know i can conqure this challange which has been set for me.   my advice to any girls going through the same situation is either play her at her own game, or just sit back and watch her mess up with a huge I TOLD YA SO! really will make ya feel better. Just DO NOT back down at any point!   also let him know his limits before it is taken to far, if your not comforable tell him, if you bottle it up it just makes things worse in the long run and her job will be carried out with ease.     i apoligise for any spelling mistakes made within this blog.   i dont not mind if i dont recive a reply just typing it seems to have helped me cool down, but any thoughts would be great!     sugar & spice .x.x.x. 
posted to relationships by Andy, Author of Darkness (0 comments)

what do you all think about online dating? personally i am old fashioned and believe in (and really want to) meeting people randomly and see where it goes from there. it just seems more real. however, im discovering how difficult it is to meet nice people. or any people of the opposite sex for that matter! do you think online dating is desperate? i do. but im a hypocrite. i havent done the thing yet but i have created profiles and looked at others profiles. which actually just made me scared! its a great way for lonely people to get together, its very to the point. and i actually have a friend who met someone online and is happily dating that someone. but what does that say to the world? looking for love online, i mean? im torn between fear of meeting a psycho, fear of looking desperate, and wanting to be old fashioned and fall in love in a "normal" way. like in romance novels - im a real romantic girl at heart. any comments?
posted to relationships by Dana, Peasant of Time (3 comments)

My mom is nuts. I'm very,  very sorry, Home Depot.  About a year and a half ago, my mom ordered some very specialized flooring to redo our kitchen floor with. Unfortunately, my mom likes to buy first, and work later. A lot later. A whole year passed before my mom, when looking at the flooring for some completely unrelated reason, realized that it was the wrong thickness. So she waits about 6 months, six freaking months, before she finally hauls the specially ordered flooring back to Home Depot. And, for an entire hour, she "battles" the manager because he doesn't want to take the flooring back: it was a special order, and the manufacturer won't take it back because it was forever ago. So long, in fact, that they didn't even have the transaction on record! But, somehow, someway she convinced the manager to take it back, even though they'll be taking a loss of $4,000 because they clearly won't be able to sell it (it's way out of style). She got a refund in store credit, but she just told me that she'll "use it later," later being about 6+ months when she finally gets around to working on another of the many, many jobs she's started and left for dead. I am so, so sorry!
posted to life by Stevie, Developer of the IT department (1 comment)

Loads and Loads

confession
ok first i used to work in a very shady industry overseas and secondly i'm a liar.  thats nearly a weight of my chest , now what? any suggestions?......I don't have any. but then again I suppose I'm happy. even if i've had to disconnect the phone to stop the debt collection agents ringing. so where were we?
posted to life by Peyton, Guardian of Generosity (1 comment)

No matter how hard you try to make a difference, you will never make a difference! Life is worht living but only if you wait for things to come. Live life in that "I'll cross that bridge when it comes..." way.  Lots of love, Jesus
posted to life by Blaine, Thief of the Wildlands (1 comment)

I'm talking to "bloggers" like fake steve ballmer, fake michael arrington, and the rest of your cursed ilk. This all started when Fake Steve Jobs, a blogger with a snarky attitude and talented writing skills, started imitating a grossly over-imagined version of Steve Jobs. It was well-written.  It was hilarious. It was popular. Everyone was talking about it. The mystery behind the identity of Fake Steve Jobs was driving everyone crazy, and his blog was a must-read for industry professionals (and people who just needed a laugh now and then). It also meant that after Fake Steve Jobs was "unmasked," his face was plastered all over EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, and people for the LOVE OF CHRIST could not stop talking about it. This of course was a a clear sign that it was OK for all you boring, pedantic motherfuckers to come out of the wordwork impersonating your favorite industry leader in a desperate bid for popularity. Now every technology blog I go to I see one-word comments by you illiterate bitches that go a little like this: "The iPoders (theives) will alweays try to skirt the law. We the forces of civilazation will fight them. Join Us, boycott iTombs!" -- Fake Steve Ballmer SAMPLE THE WARES AND TASTE THE VOMIT IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT. That, that THING you just were witness to, it's one EXTREMELY poor comment slapped onto an article at TechCrunch. It was, of course, followed by a link to his blog, which was, surprise (! ! !) hosted by the same company that hosted Fake Steve Ballmer, as if that would give him any kind of legitimacy. I know what you're thinking, "Hey, sounds awful, why don't I go Google this guy and then experience a thousand flavors of hell as I am violated with words like rusty five-irons thrust upon my every oriface?" Or, how about you fucking don't and let poorly written, poorly marketed, not-even-funny-as-a-bad-joke blogs fade out of existence so that we can have some fucking CIVILIZED DISCOURSE on these sites they're vomiting all over.
posted to tech by Addison, Devourer of Time (3 comments)

Ahhh man.... finals week is next week and Im sitting in this damn library with no one around and I just want to like find the next hot girl walking through the double doors and ask her to give me a blowjob so I can lossen my tension. College is tough! Ive got four finals 2 on monday and 2 on tuesday so this is going crazy. On top of that I am stuck on a paper that is only half finished. I WANNA GET IT FRIGGIN DONE WITH!! This will be followed by two shorter assignments both due on thursday! When am i gonna start studying for my finals. Oh yea did i mention that i am horny? I wanna have sex right now! RIGHT NOWWW... just like mount someone on this table and screw their brains out! THere are too many cute girls in this library... i just broke up with my girlfriend and the sexual tension is killing me... AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope everything works out alright.....
posted to life by Samantha, Lover of the Forgotten Lands (2 comments)

Basically, I think my vagina is gross.  I have 3 children, and aside from the obvious effects of having 3 children, when I had the last one, it got injured pretty badly.  So, there's a lot of scarring.  And on top of the scarring, there are  inclusion cysts which sometimes form around vaginal scar tissue.  Anyway, I think it is just ugly and gross.  My husband says it's not, but I think he has to say that because he loves me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. When those pictures of Britney Spears came out, everyone said her vagina was nasty, and it made me feel bad, because I thought hers was prettier than mine.  1. Does it matter to men if a woman's vagina isn't pink, tight, and smooth? 2. Does it make a difference to you if it's from something like childbirth, vs from something like being a porno actress?  If so, why? 3. I know young guys think vaginas should be hairless, because that's what's trendy right now, but what do some of the more seasoned men think?  Do you hate pubic hair, or would you prefer it?  Or something in between? It's the dreaded question does size matter in reverse, I guess.  I'd really like to hear some straightforward opinions (especially from mature men) on this.  It bothers me a lot. By the way, size does not matter, to me.  Other things are more important, sexually, I think.  Truth.
posted to life by Ari, Historian of Darkness (4 comments)

Honetaly..

rant
For once in my life, someone is going to read/know the truth about me. Not everything, just my opinions of myself and my past. I am young. I am smart. I dont feel pretty, even though I am told I am? I dont cry a lot around others, inside I am dying. I love someone that dosent love me.. I was hit when by my boyfriends friend, he just laughed...I am still with him. I usto cut. I thought about suicide, the only thing that stopped me was one person that called me at the right time. I cant trust anybody. I hate where I live.  Well there were short facts about me. Nobody knows them except you, and who ever elce reads this blog. Oh, and the funny thing is. I am the preppiest person you could imagine. Isnt that ironic.
posted to life by Frankie, Attendant of the Forgotten Lands (1 comment)

I recently bought a discounted copy, very discounted actually, of Dr. Phil's Love Smart. He's a smart guy, why not. One of the things he tells you to do in the very beginning besides stop being down on yourself is pick out of a list the qualities you want in a man. Out of this long list, here is what I picked.  PERSONALITY: funny , supportive, intellectual, emotional (but not too emotional please), street smart, honest, sensual (duh), motivated (unlike the last guy), stable, responsible, independent,confident. SOCIAL SKILLS: family guy (but not the way he describes it), part time socializer, good provider, good dad and husband (of course, when the time is right anyway). RELATIONAL STYLE: emotionally expressive (expressive in general), affectionate, willing to share responsibility for money, compassionate but remains level headed, open to compromise. SPIRITUAL COMPATIBILITY: not all that religious but believes in a higher power. PHYSICIAL CHARACTERISTICS: Im sure you all know what this list is asking about. The outer shell. For me its important that I have an attraction but I dont want to be nit picky about what color hair a guy has. I'd perfer he had hair actually. Age, hmm. I dont think I want to go beyond 40. On the other side of the spectrum, I think I should start with late 20's, if even that. So, thats the list. Its weird because there are so many things that the good doctor thought of. Who ever thought to break them all down. There are still other qualities I would consider but it wasnt important enough. Let me put it this way. I would rather have a guy that could take me out for pizza than a guy that is going to drag me around to dinner parties. Yes, the book actually mentions dinner parties. Yikes. Afterthoughts Now that I have completed the book, here is my thoughts. This plan could work very well. Just one snag. My friends who live locally enough to me to be able to go out once in a while simply refuse. They are all married or in relationships. For some reason they are only creatures of daylight when they are not with their men. Pathetic. One thing the book mentions is that women should not go out alone because there is safety in numbers. I agree. My friends disappoint me. Maybe they dont want me happy.
posted to relationships by Taylor, Servant of Darkness (2 comments)

How fucking hard is your job?! You work at a goddamn drive through for a fast food place. I even dumbed it down for you when I ordered by combo #.  So, how. the. fuck. did you mess my order up?! "I want a #10 with a Dr. Pepper." That's it, that's all I said, and you messed it up anyway. Good, fucking, god. I've seen illegal immigrants do better than that and they don't even speak English!
posted to life by Frankie, Accountist of the Irredeemably Moist (2 comments)

ALL YOUR PUBLIC WORKS ARE BELONG TO ME.    I'M WATCHING YOU ON EVERY STREET CORNER AND ON ALL YOUR PHONES     CAN YOU HEAR ME BREATHING?     FUK OFF!
posted to work by Bobbie, Herald of the Lonely (3 comments)

teen love?

rant
Everything comes down to one person when every though and emotion revolves around them you know that you are in love, but the hardest thing is them not loving you KNOWING that you will nevr hold them, nevr get to hear the sweet "I love you to" whispered into your ear. never have that one person that you are longing for thats where I come in, only still a teen, thinking that I have found him. Knowing that the only way he could notice me, is by me breaking someones heart. Which is the last thing I want, I cant stand hurting people, I rather be hurt. Maybe that helps with your opinion about me.   I was told to follow my heart at such a young age, ignored, hit, and broken-hearted by another age. Nobody except one understands, or even yet..cares Hopefully that will be enough to save me from there dreaded dreams of hatred and suffering.    
posted to life by Dana, Garçon of Generosity (0 comments)

Of all the relationships i have been, this one is the most rarest experience i have ever encountered. here's my story...  One day, I am on facebook, browsing around minding my own business when suddenly a message in the mailbox appears. I have never received a message in long while perhaps 5 months due to inactivity and being out of touch with friends and the world because of dramas that have stirred up by backstabbers. I proceed to read the message. There was this girl who messaged me saying she need to find roommate according to her preference and that she has moved into town on a job offer. Knowing that i do not have any friends and that i have cut off contacts with them because of some stupid drama they have stirred up and somehow i was involved which i bailed out due to my good conscience, i decided to start a new friendship and new start with this girl.  We met up after some convincing because at first she was wary of me due to my profile on facebook being "immature", and not so friendly (how stupid of me to vent my anger on facebook). Still we met up, i didn't make a good first impression as i was not expecting anything. Somehow we become friends quickly. I admired her confidence, ambitions, the drive, and the way she walks as she is some powerful woman on a mission. She was simply amazing. Recently, moved to florida from california on a job and almost graduating in marketing. She's a month older than me. We are 23.  I was the first to help her find apartment, show her around the city, showing her good time, and being there for her. She was content in working in the job as an account executive while i was studying Pre-med in college and preparing for MCAT. As we become better friends and she got to know me better as a person and learn my past as she was being persistence in knowing why i do not have any friends. I told her everything. She respected me. I respected her listening to me. one day, she has to go back to california for a job conference for a week. I realize i am going to miss her lot. Of course, that is because i have no one here in my city to be friends with and to talk to. But it wasn't just that. I realize i was beginning to like her and have feelings for her. She didn't know i thought. When she came back, I introduced her to my parents as she wants to meet my parents. My parents and her immediately mixes well as we all are indians. Later, everyday she would come over to my place to have dinner with my parents. My parents adores her. She would spend night at my place in the guestroom as she would be very tired after work and don't feel like going to her condo. Mostly, she stayed at my place more than she stayed at condo. After she came back during that week, we were conversing about our relationships. I finally told her that I liked her. She smiled and told me to let things happen on their own. I agreed. I never did anything to force her to like me. I only cared for her and be there for her as one should. I did so many things for her out of affections. I gave her a nice treasure hunt that end up with a nice necklace with heart shape. I cleaned her condo as a surprise when she's away at work. I placed a vase of rose with a nice poem. On her birthday, i took her to miami. I bought her a nice dress which i was simply amazed by her elegant and classiness. I never knew she would be so beautiful that would captivate my heart. I fell in love like i have never knew love before. I was scared to confess but one day during the trip in miami, she wished that god would show her the right way as her birthday wish. I told her later that i love her.She smiled, but didn't say it back because i know she still want more time. I didn't object. But she knows that i love her. Later, since i become so used to her, i forgot how to act properly and one day we end up in arguements. 5 mistakes later, she still gave me a chance and trusted herself to me again. One day, she got fired from her job. It was devastating for her. She knew it all along because the company was having problem with her and so was she. She accepted the fact that she is glad that she is not with the company. I was there for her. I supported her. But she's facing another problem. She's on student visa. She is not a permanent resident nor a citizen. We helped her find an employer who would sponsor her and we did found one. Still she has to think and think and think about all the options she has at hands. She has to go back to californai because her father beckons her home. Her parents don't have visa either. We were never really girlfriend and boyfriend to begin with because we were taking our time. I always ask her when she will actually make it official. She never did. She told me she wants to give more time into knowing each other, and she is afriad of being committed. She is afraid that if she likes me and is my girlfriend, she would hurt me by liking someone else. I understand what she meant. but it wasn't enough. She wants to completely trust me blindly by knowing that i have something to fall back on like a career. Simply studying in college preparing for MCAT isn't enough for her. She's mature than i am. she said i never had experience of living in the real world. I understand where she was coming from. We had a long talk. We were content with the understanding of each other. She said she knows that i love her and knows that ive done so much for her and she would never forget it. She told me herself she isnt really much interested in finding love or being relationship. She wants to give us more time. I agreed.  When she left for california, she misses me terribly because she isnt used to living wit her parents. Her parents are conservative and strict. Soon, she got used to it. one day she told me, she wants to be friends even though it is hard for us to hold our feelings at bay. She is planning on coming back to work for the employer if she decides. but her parents think she is coming back for me, which makes things difficult. She is trying to tell them that she is doing it for the visa. So many things in her mind. I was so hurt because i had to hold my feelings back to give her what she wants. Friendship. Apparently, she does not want to lose me. But she told me she was unsure of where to place her feelings as a friend or as a lover. I can tell she isn't sure and is keeping her options open. I am afraid to let go of her if that time ever comes. Because she is unique. I never want to let go of her. People have told me to move on and leave her. Girls have told me to take time and things will fall into place. They also told me that just do what she say, do not be so possessive or hold on to her so tight cuz she might run away. They told me not to contact her until she contacts me. Even one friend told me to risk it and tell her not to be friends anymore and leave her, then she mite come running to me (bad advice). She even has a active profile on matrimonial website where she told me she has 25 guys including myself that is interested in her. She told she is not interested in any of the guys but only guy that talks to her everyday is me. She told me herself not to worry about falling for any guy. Even i asked her that i felt i was being led on, or felt being played. She told me she is not that kind of person to do that. She told me she would have stop it long time ago, she was doing that. She considered me important to her. She cared about me. Things she has done for me that no one would bother doing really made me realize whats her worth. she loved my parents as well.   I do not know what to do. Everyday i think about her, wondering when will she realize my worth? because i have already realized her worth. there isn't anyone like her. She is so beautiful with and without makeup. she is the most precious thing i have ever loved in my life. i cried when she left for california. i even cried when thinking that why she wants to be my friend even though we flirted here and there. Sometime we would chat online with webcam, she would be so happy to see me and vice versa. We would talk for hours and hours! The agony is waiting and being her friend, while wondering what would the future bring. Only thing right now is that i have to prove her that i will make a good score on MCAT and get accepted to medical college. I am planning on moving to california to be where she is. but who knows what will happen this month and few months later..i hope she realize my worth because i have gave my everything to her... i just want a chance to be in relationship with her and share her world with mine.   it hurts writing this. true love hurts...
posted to relationships by Charlie, Trollop of Time (0 comments)

Dear stupid idiots, You have no idea what I do for the company. Your egotistical mannerisms, snottiness and claiming to have all the brain power in the world does you no good. I've been struggling working for you for the past 7 years, years I will never get back. You make fun of me, ridicule me, reduce me to nothing. I work and prove myself yet thats not good enough. Today when you punched that display and destroyed it, you proved to me that you are a complete idiot, immature and total lack of respect. What you failed to remember is that we talked about the situation that made you upset in the first place 3 days ago and you said that we will deal with it at the last minute and that we would send it by messenger. Why you get so angry I will never know, you have problems and I'd like to list them for you.... 1) doing 2 things at a time ensures that you will fuck up or do things twice as much because you can't concentrate.  2) you claim to be a great sales person but we have had the same 2 accounts for the last 4 years, which are our ONLY accounts. 3) your communication skills suck. you talk to people like they are shit.  4) hiring people not to help me has created a worthless existence for me. I snap at my family and my girlfriend and yes thats your fault. 5) When I leave, your ship will sink 6) I need a ROWI (return on work investment), which you will never give to me because you don't know how to lead. 7) I'm on my way out sucker! 
posted to work by Peyton, Magician of the Financial Services department (0 comments)

i just feel like i'm hopeless. everyone around me seems to get on well with their lives, but i feel like mine's rubbish. i don't see any point in doing stuff. at school i'm just an average student. i always used to get As in subjects but now i seem to be getting worse. it just makes me feel like i'm a failure. i don't like it at all. everyone thinks i'm clever and stuff but it's a whole different story from my point of view. my brain's all muddled. it's like something's changed in me. i'm not the same anymore. you see, even my vision's going blurry now. oh damnit, i'm crying.. the one thing that gets me really upset is myself. i just start crying when i reflect on my life. i pity myself. sometimes i wish i were someone else. i don't know myself anymore. it used to be so much easier when i was a little kid. life just seemed so simple and fun. now it's just a big mess. i feel so cold and alone. i've never let anyone be close to me, and know how i feel. i've always had a barrier around me. no one knows all of what i'm writing now. no one at all except myself. sometimes i want to shout out, tell someone how it feels like to be me; but there's no one there to listen. no one can hear me. i'm just this shadow in the background. i feel cut off from everyone, living in a world of my own: me and my thoughts. of course i try. i try my best to socialise and stuff. but i guess my best is just not enough. the tears keep falling from my eyes. i feel so frustrated at myself. i'm breaking up inside. it's a terrible feeling. i'm looking into the mirror, the tears are falling slwoly, running down my face. i try in vain to stop them...i've calmed down slightly but i'm not going to stop writing. i want to go on writing, writing my thoughts on paper. i'm thinking i can clear my mind this way. i don't know if it's working. but i must keep on trying to help myself. but writing this here won't remove all of this from my head. it won't lift the weight off my shoulders. i'm just doing this for the sake of it. am i suffering from depression or something? is this what it feels like? i don't know. all i know is that i need help. am i gonna have a mental breakdown if i don't? i haven't a clue what to do. i'm just so confused, i want answers. i don't even know if whta i'm writing makes sense. it's just what's on my mind at the moment. the words keep flowing....i know i must stop so that i can get soem of my work done. so i will..
posted to life by Blaine, Servant of the Forgotten Lands (1 comment)

'Thank you so much, I love it' was the last lie i can remember. 
posted to society by Dana, Student of Light (0 comments)

Buyer beware! I tried to get a new wedding band that was platinum. It took 3 weeks for delivery and the ring was Visibly damaged and had Multiple scratches on the ring as well. The item was not cheap either, needless to say I sent it back and was Very Disappointed in the Quality. Good luck to people who like that company not me.
posted to life by Max, Necromancer of the Forgotten Lands (0 comments)

Grandin Road.

advice
My wife and I bought an Expensive Furniture piece had it Take 2-3 Weeks for (White glove service). When it came the People said "you want us to take it out of the box". I was thinking well gee we only paid an Extra $200 for that service, but no we will do it???? Duh We paid to have it done since it Was Heavy and Expensive. So they get it out of the Box to only Find out it was Severly Damaged. So we call to get it refunded and shipped back. After two people say two diffrent things. One was it will be refunded within two days now it is wait until we get the furniture back (another 3 weeks), then it is wait about a week and what a suprise it hasn't happened yet! Word of advice be Iffy buying anything too expensive through the mail. The carrier wasn't UPS either. So it should have been better service. Was not though! I thought they were a High end Company- Guess not.
posted to life by Dakota, Host of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

I recently used the contact list stored on my home phone to call my husband at work. I sat listening to the phone ring, waiting for his standard greeting. Instead, I get "This is Ryan." "Ryan?" I say, confused. "I thought I called Kirk's desk. Did I not?" Ryan says, "Kirk? He doesn't work here anymore." Silence. "Thank you," I manage to say as my hands start to shake with fear. I dial his cell phone, expecting to speak with a distraught man as he drives home from the REALLY good job from which he apparently just got fired. No answer. I call again. No answer. And again. No answer. I decide he must still be inside the building -- he's not allowed to take his cell phone in. I wait 3 minutes then I call again. No answer. Again. This time I leave a message. "Honey, I really need to talk to you. Please call me. I love you." First, reality settles in. How are we going to pay the bills. Maybe I should look for a job. I guess we both should, and whoever gets hired first will be the one to work. I get on KSL jobs. There are no good marketing positions open. Reality continues... what about health insurance? I guess I'd better cancel the baby's check up that's scheduled for tomorrow. We're probably going to have to ask the church for help to cover our bills if he doesn't get a new job soon. Then my overactive imagination takes over. The question of why my husband isn't answering his phone is so open ended, and I can think of so many scary explanations. My mind settles on three. 1) He was so shaken from getting fired that he has gotten in a car accident and can't call. 2) Getting fired has thrown him into deep depression, and he's turned to drinking. Perhaps I should start calling the local bars. 3) He knows I know he can't take his cell into work. He's not ready to tell me he lost his job, so he's pretending he can't answer his cell. Option 3 seems the most realistic. So I call again. This time I leave a message that I already know he's lost his job, so there's no reason to not call me. I am very scared, and would he please call me. "Now," I think, "he has no excuses for not calling me. If he continues to try to cover this up, I am going to be SO mad." Out of options and scared to death, I decide to email one of his co-workers to see if there is any chance he's still inside the building. Unfortunately, the only one of his co-workers I know is his ex-girlfriend's husband. I don't really want to bring him into this, but what choice do I have. I send the email. I wait. I call my husband's cell 5 or 6 more times. The phone rings. For some reason the phone just says "incoming call." Why isn't the caller ID telling me what to expect? It is Kirk's voice on the line. "Are you calling everyone here but me?" he asks in a voice far to calm for someone who just got fired. "What do you mean, here? Where are you?" I say. "At work," he replies. "Are you sure? I called your desk this morning and talked to some guy named Ryan who says you don't work there anymore." "What? Ryan who? At this point, I am getting pretty annoyed that Kirk doesn't just give up the act and tell me he got fired. "I don't know, but he even verified with me that I was talking about Kirk Fife, so at this point, I tend to believe him," I say, with a tone appropriately venemous. All at once, the situation becomes crystal clear, and I burst into relieved tears. "I'm an idiot," I say. I must have grabbed the kitchen phone not the office phone. I've only updated Kirk's work number in one, which means I called Kirk's old job. Of course Ryan said Kirk doesn't work there anymore. He quit 6 weeks ago. I begin sobbing uncontrollably as I try to tell Kirk all the horrible thoughts that had been going through my head and the incredible stress I'd just been put through. I tell him he should probably warn Seth that he's going to get a strange email. Apparently, the email had already been received and that was why Kirk called in the first place.
posted to work by Charlie, Scout of the Homeless (3 comments)

My ex-boss basically ruined forever any chance of advancement for me at my present place of employment, where I have worked and learned the ropes for 6 1/2 years now. How? He passed out a totally undeserved promotion in our unit to a black hipanic male with one year service and no other job experience other than schooling. I was told I am "not ready yet".  fucking bastard, Now at the end of my career (hopefully another 6 yrs) I have to go somewhere else and start over. The 2 of them are arrogant assholes and deserve each other Can anyone else say age discrimination? 
posted to work by Adrian, Soldier of Light (0 comments)

Get a load of what your taxes are paying for: Public sector bint put in charge because she won't give the director grief and passes the sh*t down so all the lackies have more work than pay.  She promotes devolved leadership and coaching, bats her eyelids and thinks she's well liked.  The truth in the matter is she can't manage, is hated by everyone that comes into contact with her and most think she can't do her job.  She's protected by her boss and she picks her b*tches who suck up to her and pretend to be her friends.  She is the SADDEST person in the organisation and she doesn't know it - yet!  Problem for her is that her protector is leaving soon, taken a retirement package and she'll be exposed, unless she decides to sleep with the 50+ director!
posted to work by Stevie, Wizard of the Satisfied (0 comments)

I constantly think people don't like me and it makes me want to cry.   People are in love with my personality and then all of a sudden, it's like they can't stand me.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I feel so lonely.
posted to life by Alice, Supervisor of the Wildlands (4 comments)

Now that this B___H gave me a raise she reduced my days and sometimes hours...she uses the fact that I get migraines as an excuse to reduce my days now . i've been havinf migraine since I was 9 years old. I have been working there for a year and went home early twice because of a migraine. This job is already part time I  use to work 4 days now I work 3. and the three days that I do work are 4-6 hours a day. And she wonders WHY people Quit. She won't admit that her and her husband is CHEAP and doesn't want anyone  to stay longer than 6 hours so they don't have to give us benefits. ASS____. 
posted to work by Charlie, Sous Chef of Musclebeasts (0 comments)

My boss doesn't like meeting because when he is one on one with each staff person he tell them what they want to hear. In a rare meeting today. He asked a group of us to come back with proposals on how we could improve the marketing. We came back and in the middle of presenting he got mad at me and said "That isn't up for discussion" very pissie, no explanation.  I wanted to say "F- you" why tell us he wanted to hear our ideas just to shoot them down.  JERK!  I figure we stepped on something that he promised someone in the room which instead of sharing what was going he stuffed it down.  This is not helpful or good for making me want to contribute.  Tomorrow I have to sit in trainings with him all day. Shoot me now please.  He is so full of S--T
posted to work by Harper, Deviant of Generosity (1 comment)

I'm not Mr NiceGuy

confession
I have had quite a few people tell me they think I'm one of the nicest people they've ever met or ask me why I'm so nice. My confession though, is that I really am NOT very nice. I think these horrible thoughts about people that I'd never want anyone to be able to see. The worst thing is that when I hear someone say 'so and so is so incredibly nice/sweet/caring/etc.' and they're not talking about me, I get jealous and wish they were talking about me. Then I wonder what I could do to make them think I'm nicer than the person they were just talking about. Now that's not so nice is it? Didn't think so. I also feel bad when I think someone is talking about me but they really aren't. And sometimes I feel mad at that person because it's like I bend over backwards for them and they don't appreciate it. I think a lot of people eavesdrop on conversations to see if people talk about them and what nice things they say. And everybody thinks bad thoughts about everyone else but most of the time they don't say it. I'm trying to be not so judgmental lately and just appreciate people for their differences but it's hard sometimes. Some people are nice but they just get on your nerves ya know? Being nice on the outside is easy, being nice on the inside takes work. Nice is just a word, the forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.There are two types of beauty: outer and inner. You are very nice on the outside, but extremely ugly on the inside. People are attracted to outer beauty, but stay for inner. This does not bode well for your long term relationships. The good news is that it's way easier to improve inner beauty than it is outer and, for the most part, it's free.
posted to life by Brett, Janitor of the Poor (2 comments)

The pay here is mediocre, it's better than minimum wage but they make you do a whole bunch of manual lifting. Do I look like the incredible hulk to you? Christ, just give me some paperwork to go and let the steroids guy take care of the weightlifting, sheesh. There's also this extremely annoying guy I work with. He's got huge, bloated lips. The urge to smack him? Overwhelming. I wish he would stop saying stupid things and just take a pill. Also, to my superior, who I know reads my blog because of your fucking snarky comments at work, but who won't admit it because you're too much of a chicken-shit: go. fuck. yourself. with. an. untreated. 4x4. That is all. 
posted to work by Blaine, Fashion Model of the craft table (2 comments)