My boyfriend of two years and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I was a wreck the first two weeks, crying almost everyday. Over the last 3 days Ive become aware of a couple things that have changed my point of view and now I am confused. This is a man that I imagined having my future children and spending the rest of my life with. I truly love this man.
He broke up with my because he didn't feel a deeper connection and wasn't sure there was a future with us. Which now I understand is true. Nothing was bad with the relationship but we never talked about deeper and more important things- our regrets and aspirations, our fears and achievements.
Two days ago, my aunt let it slip while on a walk with me that my older sister is actually my half sister. That my father wasn't her biological dad, pretty shocking to find out when you're 26 years old. My dad loves her as much and exactly the same as he does the other 4 of us. What I'm trying to say is that I realized that I wanted a man to love me like my father loves my sister and mom. An unconditional love.
Yesterday I went out to brunch with his sister, who had previously wanted to go out before the break happened. When we talked I found out a couple things about him that I didn't know. He had been talking to his ex before he broke up with the girl he had been dating with at the time and that he had also started talking to me before he broke up with his ex. I thought this was weird but later on I also found out that he had gotten his first girl mfriend (not the other two I just mention) pregnant but they did not keep the baby. I couldn't believe we hadn't talked about this before....I realize now that it's because I never gave him a chance too. He still doesn't know that I know all this. I realized now that maybe I wasn't the girl for him.
He had hurt me before and because I was so scared to get hurt again I focused on building my own walls and never even thought about breaking down his. I had loved him so superficially. I thought that as long as there was attraction and we were having fun that was enough. Now Ive realized that he may not be the guy for me but also that I'm may not be the right girl for him.
Now I don't know what to do, I love him and want to be the right girl for him but I fear it might be too late. I was so naive in our relationship, and I feel like I have a lot to work on, that the person that I am now is not someone he needs but I can't seem to let him go. I know we're broken up... but we still talk. I don't what to do, please help