Why do "pro-lifers" mistake a clump of cells with a baby?
Why do "pro-lifers" mistake a clump of cells with a baby?
Steeples look a lot like Obelisks. The Obelisk represents Nimrod's or Baal's erect member sticking straight up into the sky. I wonder how pastors would react if we asked them how they feel about the giant erect penises sticking up in the air on top of their churches. God is not against sex, some of my recent posts point out how churches are too strict about sexuality when compared to a better contextual interpretation of the bible and taking the original Greek and Hebrew into consideration. Having said that, since the Obelisk represents specifically Baal's or Nimrod's penis, NO CHURCH as ANY BUSINESS putting anything that resembles an Obelisk on top of its building. Part of repentance churches are going to need to avert coming judgments from God will be to take down the giant penises with RAGING ERECTIONS on top of their buildings, along with being very quick to divest themselves of 501c3 or be happy when it is fully repealed and use the fact that some previously hindered speech is now unshackled. I feel that often coming church buildings will be homes of Christians where small groups gather instead of church buildings. I am sure some larger church bodies will repent, but I really wonder how many will, or many will but they will need a harder hand of discipline from God to wake them up. Their former church homes will be broken up, and they will re-organize under conditions more in keeping with God's perfect will for our time.
That is narcissism on his part.
The Catholics invented the trinity when they were Paganizing the teachings of Jesus. They were sneaking polytheism into the back door under the guise of the trinity. With the concept of the trinity, three Gods magically become one. Many details found in later writings, such as Matthew and Luke do not appear in the earliest manuscripts of Mark, including the phrase "Son of God" at Mark 1:1. The letters of Paul the Apostle, for example, do not mention a virgin birth of Christ. Paul describes Jesus as "born of a woman, born under the law" and "as to his human nature was a descendant of David" in the Epistle to the Galatians and the Epistle to the Romans.
Trinitarian heretics repent!!
So what you do is , go to a Biker bar location has to be a 1%er bar . Get a greased up road spike ply wood a few screws and some lard will work-- call that bar and say there's a member of that club getting his bike and colors taken make them go down the road to that ares . Then sit back and You Tube !! Call the video Hell's Angels Splat
I did everything you said. I prayed your Rosary and said Hail Mary’s until my mouth bled The Church helped me. By erasing my mind and making me what they wanted What few faded memories I have are those of a Nun beating me for fun and locking me inside a cage. They left me in a black hole of rage and confusion. Is that the religion you practice? when I kissed the sky Pastor Charly pointed the way, Worst part of it is, they're going to blame us for the whole thing. Because they can't have people knowing the truth. We're the patsies for their crimes. The cover up. Don't forget. we're the bad guys. Because getting people to act against their own will for the national security is what they do best. I cared about my Church and my country and for that I was kicked many times. Hated by the same ones I loved and gave my life for. I never got over Operation Canadian Goose. A Col of, 91st Cavalry Regiment, an elite member of an Elite Group, you ruined him he hadn’t slept for two weeks Even after the war you wouldn’t leave him alone and you made us Kill the Col. Waterboarding induces panic and suffering by forcing a person to inhale water, you clapped and laughed with such joy didn’t you Nancy Dick? As long as I don’t have blood on all my fingers I’m clean right Nancy Sinsinawa
It's been 36 days since we broke up and 9 days since we last contacted each other
I wanted to fight for you, but seeing you move on so fast and the break up not effecting you was too hard for me. My thoughts
I miss you I wish we could give the relationship another chance Why haven't you contacted me Don't you miss me Did 4 years mean nothing to you Is this really it Is this how we end things How did things turn out this way I love you I miss you Why don't you love me I miss you I hate not being able to talk to you I hate not being able to see you How are strangers again I feel like I lost part of me How do I give you up Why cant I move on I love you I love you I love you Why is this so hard Are we really never going to talk again I wanted to say good bye in person I hate that our last conversation was through text saying that nothing is set in stone and we can say good bye another then but we haven't talked since Why haven't text me Don't you miss me Don't you miss us I love you I really love you I don't know what to do now How do I start moving on How did you move on so fast Why cant talk to each other I miss you Did you ever really care about me I love you and I wish I had said it more
Black lives matter and Antifa -- The Family is among you scouting Just remember when you're dealing in War and Martial law The nail that stands up is the one who gets hammered. No Government past or present has worked for the people , No Rich man has ever worked on your behalf . Riots and frontal assaults you can't win. The media simply does not cover the non-Muslim terror attacks , Now they're calling you a Terror Organization read the law Domestic terrorism is the unlawful use, or threatened use, of force or violence by a group or individual based and operating entirely within the United States again The nail that stands up is the one who gets hammered !! Sinsinawa
One can be sexual and spiritual at the same time. A Christian enjoying sexuality is not a contradiction. If one uses it for EVIL, then it is wrong, but THEN and ONLY THEN. Matthew 5:27-28 does not speak against lusting after ANY woman, the Greek and context indicates that it is talking about being a sin to lust after another MAN'S wife ONLY. In fact one Medieval English translation of the bible that predates the King James actually says "wife" in that passage instead of "woman". The Greek word for woman "gune" means woman or wife..it is the same word. WHICH it means depends on the context in a sentence or paragraph. Since Jesus in this passage was talking about ADULTERY, it then therefore means wife instead of woman in general. If you interpret the bible contextually considering the larger picture of the bible, you have to define adultery from the Old Testament, and apply that meaning to Matthew 5:27. In the Old Testament adultery meant taking anther man's wife. In fact the Hebrew word for adultery LITERALLY means to "enter another man's wife". So modern Christianity, oops churchianity...has sold us a bill of goods. Instead of clean, fresh, flowing living water from the throne of God, often it has been tepid ponds under the hot sun with scum on the top.
In other words, God sins.
Recently my long distance girlfriend broke up with me for accusing her of talking to some other guy and using Whatsapp to communicate with him. It all started cause I had access to our family plan account online. So I went on there and checked her calls. I did cause I had a feeling. Sure enough there was a incoming call at 10:30pm that lasted 96 minutes. I found this very odd and instantly got infuriated! I called the number the next day and a guy answered. I just hung up. I didn't want to bring it up to her cause then she would know that I was online snooping. she gave me access cause she said she had nothing to hide. Mind you that was a like 2 years ago. I gave in and asked her, of course she was mad. Not cause I was snooping, but because I was questioning her on being loyal. She claimed it was some guy she was helping out with his Taxes cause that's what she does. But for a client to call you on your personal cell phone at that time of night and almost talk for 2 hours smells like BS to me. Especially cause this guy is the brother in law of another client of hers that she had recently met as well and became friends with. In the short time of meeting these people she went to a birthday party of her new friends daughter and the guy was there obviously. And the following weekend went to some outdoor activity for a kid event. And of course dude was there but has no small children. My ex said that he went, but didn't go in the same car as them. And that her and her friend and the kids were mostly hanging out together while the dude and his brother looked at other stuff. I'm not buying it. She swears up and down that it nothing like that. And that she only talked to him that once. Long story short. I saved his number in my contacts and can see when he's on WA. One early AM she came on at 4:05am and he came on at 4:09am. Coincidence? She say yes. What do you think? Please give me your input.
A mass murderer who accepts Christ on his deathbed goes to heaven. Where is the justice in that?
Paul Lallier suffocated his mother with a pillow while she was sleeping. He is also a child molester, thief and drug dealer. He sexually molested several boys at an apartment complex that was his former residence. He stole tens of thousand if not hundreds of thousands of prescription drugs from pharmacies while working at an inventory company. When he lost his job because of suspicion of theft he broke into several pharmacies and stole tens of thousands of drugs.
Does no one really see this as such an issue anymore? I just watched The Twilight Zone, an episode titled, "The Monsters Are Due On Maple St.", which has been my favorite episode since I've seen the show. Anyway, seeing it again recently really reminded me of how dependent our world system is dependent on technology. Any disruption of our world's technology, even for a short time being, would be disastrous, at least on a global scale. Is that not a bit edging to the nerves for anyone else?
Funny how the world can be dissaving. Looking up at the world, with my little body wrapped in precious love and protection that can never be found anywhere else, only in my parent’s hearts. Being little was awesome, I was born with the world at my feet before I could even stand. Goals as big as the expectations my family held. My only ambition was to shine for them, so they shone with pride. It’s not that my ambition has changed either. They are my life. In my bad days, it really did go to show that I live for them. See suicide isn’t ending the pain only passing it on to the people you love and the people who truly do love you. But what is love? See just from almost 21 years of life, I could list many ‘feelings’ associated with love, but is it love? The love I have for people is different. There is my love for my family, there is the love I have for my friends or shall I say who have ME as a friend, there’s the ex’s that just turned out to be lust and at the time very strong lust, love for yourself, there’s the love for my baby who never got the chance to live and then theres him. Soul destroying, selfish, heart-breaking idiot who not only makes you break but who becomes your ambition, your life, and the love for yourself, well the love for myself… went straight out of the window. Suffering from depression is something I can never begin to explain, some days its severe, some days I feel invincible. Mum always told me “the happiest girl is always the prettiest”, I was always that happy girl. Never stopped smiling, even now. Dad always told me “There’s not a star out of your reach” but the only star I want to reach is my baby in the sky. The pain, from that one ‘love’ and the forever eternal effects from the ‘situation-ship’ that came with him, I carry; under every smile, laugh, blink and tear, it will be there. See people do you over, that’s people for you. They don’t realise their actions and choices hurt. Sometimes even their words just for the fact that they are too easily spoken. He never provided me with happiness, only the words that are easy to fall for. How naïve. I could say it was “perfectly unfinished” but trust me its finished and nothing perfect about it. I could say “nothing lasts forever” but I know that the love my mother and father share will carry on until the world stops spinning. Generations of us will forever be marked by their true beauty and love. That’s what I want and it is what I’ll get. “time is a great healer” says parents. we will see over time with these blogs/ documents how time heals me. Right now I am so happy, yet so sad. But my family are the wind beneath my wings. Writter: S-lw
Meghan Parsons is a top satanic witch involved in terrorism and cannibalism. She should be investigated for trafficking human genitals and aborted babies.
I have freinds but not the best friend kind, I have never been intimate or anywhere close to a girl and I am attracted to them so I think I need a change in my life in terms of relationships
Life sucks, but everyone gets bent out of shape when you talk about ending it. None of these"pro-lifers" do anything to improve the quality of life. Everything is a sham.
The first amendment has further eroded. Soon Christians will have the theocracy they have always wanted. This presumes that their beloved spawn of Satan, Donald Trump doesn't destroy the nation first.
walks around like king shit breaking into people's houses . I hope you break into my house I got a jar of grease and a real hard dick you got your pants hanging down already . I won't care if you kick mud on me. I won't tell no body . Come on break in my house . With your pretty black ass .
Am i the only one who masturbates to the thought of my exs sometimes. Ive had really great sex in my past and sometimes the memories get me so wet i have no choice but to play with myself and right when im about to cum i scream their name. Sometimes its just one ex i think about but sometimes its more than one of them. Is that weird?
“I can't judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in.”They can lock you up in penitentiaries and cages and put you in crosses like they did in the past,but it doesn't amount to anything. What they're doing is, they're only persecuting a reflection of themselves. They're persecuting what they can't stand to look at in themselves,the truth.” Charles Manson You get on that pulpit and ask people for money the same people you condemn with savage words that you yourself have no understanding of? You eat meat with your teeth and you kill things that are better than you are, and in the same respect you say how bad and evil killers that your children are. You made your children what they are. Now look yesterday they where brandishing knives out at you today you are afraid to go outside because they are shooting guns at you and you look to Trump to make this right? No trump is not responsible for your kids . You want The Family to show Remorse For their Murders ? O.K you show remorse first, if you are just reflections of everything that you think you know, and everything that you have been taught. and your kids are shooting up the inner cities who taught them that ? Now you're going to be angry because The Family wants them to shoot the right people ? You throw them out we take them in. We help them stand on their own two feet and we learn they are angry at the world , a world that you created for them. Be free children don't be judged become the judge Sinsinawa
Mental harm. Have you ever thought about that? It's not physical harm but it can feel just about the same, just in a different way. It's sitting in a place inside of your brain. It has walls of steel that you think you can never escape. You don't like the person that you become when you are trapped here. It is not you. It's just not you. But no matter how you try to control it, it stays there in every little thing you do. It creates fear and worry. It makes you feel like you aren't good enough. For anything or anyone. There is something weighing all of your body down. It does feel physical. It's as if you have a brick sitting inside of you letting you know you're not okay. It can come quick or painfully slow. You sit and wait. Waiting for it to go away or to find a happy feeling. Then, you pretend to be happy. You are happy. I am happy. But you can't see my insides.
I just want help in choosing a face for my main character for a book I'm writing. Main character is Bryley O'Connor's, 17 years old brown hair, green eyes. A. Holly Earl B.India Eisley C. Barbara Palvin If anyone can just pick one I would be very greatfullll.
274 days ago It all started with a promise to my self - Your going to change your life starting today - well that day was a life changer. Ive lost 220 LBs and have gained confidence beyond my wildest dreams. Now its time to get the girl of my dreams the girl that drives my mind crazy. When i hear name or see her smiling face time seems to stand still, yet she keeps moving and there is not much i can do except go for it what is there to lose. Try to win her over, try to get here to notice I am the guy that she is looking for because she is girl I'm looking for. My heart races in her presence i choke up and words become lost. But why wait, i have fucked up and missed chances my whole life by waiting well its time to say yes and go after the things i want in life. I have quit and given up on many things in my life well no longer. Today i go for everything, we all have the same 24hrs in a day why waste them complaining or feeling sorry for your self just get up and go.
Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything, take away What's standing in front of me Every breath, every hour has come to this
Love should have an on and off switch. Wish it is that easy. Niligawan ka tapos pag mahal mo na biglang aatras. Di kaya ng commitment. Cute! Alam ko naman na alanganin ang situation natin pero sana di ka na nagparamdam kung di ka naman handa na may maramdaman din ako. Ginagago mo ba ako?? Ang hirap kaya. Para ako yung nanliligaw ngayon. Hirap pala pag mas mahal mo na. I believe that we choose people who can hurt us because we allowed ourselves to love those people. We can never be sure of anything pero ngayon sigurado ako sa iyo e. Bakit ikaw hindi?? Ikaw nanligaw di ba?? I-off mo na lang etong nararamdaman ko. Please lang i-off mo na. Paano mo nagagawang matulog ng ganito tayo.
ein Krimineller sattelt um auf Plastikschamane. Die Native American Association of Germany
"Plastikschamanen Veranstalte Native American Association of Germany there doing fake sweat lodges in Germany
KuuNa - Culture and Nature satisfied customers we have many people here that love our tantra Eisackerstr. 7 67734 Katzweiler Tel .: 06301-60 966 40. E-Mail: [filtered hyperlink] ...
I'm trying to put into words all of the things in my head right now, and I either come up blank or with jumbled thoughts. I just need somewhere to write everything that I can, so if you're brave - keep reading! If not, I won't be offended.
For so long I had a life plan mapped out. I thought I had everything figured out. This summer, I quit my teaching job in Colorado in order to pursue a new career at a university in California. Tomorrow, it all begins with an 18 hour car ride.
With every transition there's anxiety, racing thoughts, uncertainty, and of course sadness. Today's one of those days where I am really unsure of where my mind is actually at. I've stated how testing these last three years have been. I've known that I was strong-willed and often lionhearted, but I don't think anything really could have prepared me for the adversity, hatred, and trails that I have encountered. I have chosen to keep many of the things hushed for the fear of sinking deeper into a dark place where I was at, and so that the people that I really cared about would not be affected more than they already were. The truth behind the last few years is that I was not in an okay place.. I was not myself all of the time.. I was subjected to misfortune, threats, and emotional abuse.. I fell victim to not sleeping for days and becoming ill.. But, why? I don't regret it. I would do it all over again in order to see the success I had. It sounds sick, but I would! I guess that's why I've been so bitter about being called selfish so much over the last few weeks. I've given up a lot because I refuse to let anything or anyone separate me from achieving excellence in any situation.
For so long I was told that I was less than what I am. I always wondered why, and I am constantly reminded of the fact that I don't fit the traditional norms of a Hispanic man. That's not who I am, nor is it who I want to be. I won't apologize for being me anymore or loving who I love. Am I a lot to handle? Of course. Do I get stuck in my own head a lot? Yeah, and believe me, it's not safe - bring a weapon and a flashlight. Do I have any regrets? I want to say yes, but really I know that every tear shed has been worth it. Am I in any way, shape, form, or idea a perfect human? No, but all of my tattoos, scars, and the number of people that know of my name (and those that are going to be learning about who I am) are warrants to how much I work my ass off!
I often feel crazy for not knowing what's next, and as much as I say I want to know - I really don't. Can you imagine living in a world where you fear every next step because you know that there's disappointment that might come upon you? Fuck no, I know that I'm going to hit some bumps and rough places in the road, and especially that I'll cry a bit. I know that!! Especially because that's where I have been, and I've seen some unimaginable things from overbearing and hate-filled "adults" too. I've learned to expect the unexpected, and take risks even if you end up shattered afterwards. To be completely honest, I am terrified right now. I'm moving one thousand miles away from the only state I've ever known. I have no idea what my life will look like tomorrow, in a week, in a month, or even a year from now. I have no clue who will be in my life, whether my heart will be full or empty, or even if I'll have a close friend to get a beer with. Am I mad about things that have happened over the last three years? Heck yeah, I am furious. Am I going to bring those things with me anymore? No, because I don't have the capacity to be filled with this disgruntled feeling anymore. I should be very grateful for the journey and opportunity that I have set in front of me. And you know what? I am, especially because I've gone through Hell to get there.
I have scored the opportunity of a lifetime.
I have learned about myself and all that I am capable of.
I have fallen in love and had my heart in a million pieces a few times.
I have made mistakes and learned to walk again afterwards.
I have made the best friends a man could ask for.
I have realized that I am not going to settle for anything ever again.
I have looked a negative life in the eye and turned away because I have so much to live for.
I have earned the patience of many wise people because there is no reason to rush to find answers.
I have overcome obstacles that most people will not.
I have just written all of the thoughts in my head and you probably think I'm crazy for putting everything on paper, and that's okay!
If you made it to this point you are either also in tears because you have been with me through it all, you're reading this thinking I'm over-the-top and too dramatic, or you are someone that likes to read walls of text with no emotions and gets over the occasional misuse of grammar. Either way, congratulations!!! Now my friends, I may not know what tomorrow is going to bring, but I definitely know that I'm going to make the most out of the next chapter of my life. I will not second guess this opportunity or the decisions I made to get to where I am. My bags are packed, I've said my goodbyes, and I hope you will join me every step of the way.
Tulsa, Oklahoma Pope County It isn't the air force you're seeing right now. Chalchaqui River, strange lights-- Hudson valley river -- ring of lights strange object flying under the water with Lights that single wheel of perfect light .You keep seeing is Dagon. Shall we gather at the River The beautiful River You wanted control ? You should have been careful what you asked for. You are not you, you are just reflections, you are reflections of everything that you think you know, everything that you have been taught.you wouldn't listen now you have no choice Sinsinawa
A woman named Lucille DesRoches is a serial child molester and even manages a pedophilia cult in Connecticut. She is in her sixties and has red hair. I was a victim of hers and when I made a complaint about her she hired someone to make a false accusation against me claiming I was armed and dangerous which almost got me shot by police. This is how vicious these pedophiles are. Women are just as much if not more involved in pedophilia than men. Lucille DesRoches is involved in much worse than pedophilia and trying to set people up to get killed. Their is a large pedophilia ring in her region and they are involved with trafficking women and children. The Italian Mafia are involved with this as well. Police are infiltrated by Freemasons and Knights of Columbus are helping to cover the human trafficking and pedophilia cults up. Sandy Hook was part of this plot with the intention of disarming people. Pedophiles fear armed citizens.
See, I came on here on this sight and make a statement . If you rape an illegal immigrant in the U.S she will not turn you in. For fear of deportation. what happens ? A man impersonated an ice agent trying to get money from a woman ? A man was shot while stalking a playground had a fake ice badge ? The reason I don't feel bad - we some sick fuckers in this world , we need help the ones who made us sick want us put in jail when we ask for help. Ye I like Iced Cream I love all of the asses of the SevenGymnasticsGirls and I volunteer to eat Iced cream off every one of their asses . I know I need help but dammit I can't get it.
That's Easy all you have to do is break the code. D p f H , M t n m n , M n F, W T Plant Beverly She Man .K N P V T O p i Can you smile ? Who cares The Tree's are smiling
Jesus plans on coming in and taking credit for all my works and stealing all my knowledge. Jesus says he comes like a thief in the night.
We were the best of friends for 2 years and then we dated for 2 years.... after having a 4 years relationship with me is it possible for you not to having any feeling for me?
I know that our relationship stayed on the surface, but I was scared to get hurt by you again, it seems like I'm always the one getting hurt. I let this fear consume my love for you and I focused on my needs and insecurities never really thinking you had any.
That was the downfall of our relationship, we focused on the walls we built not realizing we needed to work on breaking them instead.
Now we've separated and although I want to be there for you, I think it's time we say good bye. It's not that I'm giving up on you and I wish more than anything to have a second chance to love you properly but I fear I'm turning into a toxic person. I think it's best I give you space and focus on myself again. One day I hope we can meet again and when we do I hope that I've grow strong enough that I can sincerely smile and say that I don't regret having loved you.
Media changed The Truth into a Lie and you believed it. He told you about Helter Skelter They said he wanted to start a Race war, where’s he been for the last 40 years? Your media says in 2017 Hate crimes spike for second consecutive year in California
They said He wanted to kill as many people as he could He said I can't judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at you the lie that you live in.
We will choose some from ANTIFA, but you need to know, the ones we choose will have the qualities we seek. They are The Children, that can crush the Elite. When Tragedy happens, we know who’s who. Michal Brown was shot a Riot started. A man gets on T.V. and incites the violence him we don’t want. A man runs in on a camera burns down a store, him we don’t want. They have their glory. The man we want is the one who threw the cock- tail at the police line and every one said who threw that ? let Susan Atkins be your example for the violence extreme she did , and did without question. Be Leslie Van Houten smart and cunning , yet subservient and caring for the guy next to you. You don’t have a paper worthy enough to write how beautiful the heart of Sandra Good is. Yet for The family she would have taken and handed to any of us. If you feel entitled you want public attention , It’s not about you. If you continue to display this off to Trump’s prison you’ll go If you under stand this , The Red Herring will come to collect you We will show you If you're going to do something, do it well. And leave something witchy. Sinsinawa
Church community is valuable. Especially if you live in a country where 0.4% of the population is Protestant Christian. My family is third generation Christian. My church is small with only about 20 members. We are a cozy family. We support each other and work with other churches in the area like brothers and sisters. My church was my home. But i left it.
I left my church because I was accused of sleeping with a nonbeliever and everyone was crying about it, believing it, and gossiping about it behind my back. It wasn't true but no one ever thought about talking to me except for one person outside of the church. No one came up to me and asked for the truth. They just assumed I was a whore. The whole time this rumor was getting around, my church continued to ask for my family's financial support as they were suffering from an insufficiency. I felt used. It was pathetic. I was also accused of passing around a rumor about the youth pastor and a woman that were dating. The girlfriend was so sure that I had just randomly picked the two to start a rumor and tell everyone. The truth being that she herself had told a missionary in the church... And I also was absent from the church for a while year for a study program abroad during the time the rumor really went around. They were always lovey dovey and there were rumors 5 years before I even knew them. People just wanted to point fingers because the girlfriend was so angry. She overreacted and told people that she wasn't dating him. She was so angry that people thought she was a sinner. (Dating was a taboo topic at this church don't ask me why) She told me that the pastor's reputation was at stake because of me. I was blamed and falsely accused. By that point everyone in the church thought I was a slut or gossiping bitch so I didn't see the point in staying.
These things happened in a church community where I believed to be safe. I couldn't believe it. I was hurt, and I felt used. I wasn't able to trust the very people who told me we would always be a family. Oh and to top everything off, the pastor and his girlfriend thought it would be funny to invite me to their wedding (yes they ironically got married) but of course I declined the invitation.
I understand that people get defensive and sometimes make irrational decisions, but this was too much for my heart. I never told anyone my story because I didn't want any church to be discouraged by my story. I hid my feelings and accepted it as my pain. I didn't want anyone to know. I wanted people to see my church as a good church. I didn't want other people giving up on having a good relationship within the community. It was easier if I just left.
I just left. And their lives went on. Marriage happened. People thought I just lost my faith in God. They see me as a loser bitch now. But that is far from true. God has taught me the valuable lesson that he himself if the only one that can be trusted and that I shouldn't discriminate Christians and non Christians. People are equal.
When I was in my twenties, I struggled. Many people would often tell me that I was very nice and friendly and open-minded. And I lived up to that description pretty well. I had many friends who were older and "wiser" and kept saying, "When you get to 30, everything gets so much better. Just you wait." And they would list off the various reasons as to why 30 was the best to them: they finally felt comfortable in their own skin and stopped caring about what other people thought of them; their career came together; they found 'the one' and settled down; all that dreams-coming-true experiences. I took this as a sign that if I kept investing in my career and investing in my body for my health believing that my hard work and dedication would eventually 'attract' what I wanted in my future that it would eventually come together and magically -- at 30 -- I would be so glad and happy and living the life I really wanted. But I guess I should've paid more attention to the pattern of my life to know my experience wouldn't be what their promises are.
30 came and went two years ago. Right before my 30th birthday, my health began deteriorating. I have psoriasis now. I ended up on bed rest for two months for herniated discs in my neck which has rendered my right arm disgustingly weak. The things I loved to do like yoga, running, playing sports and just plain being active came to a halt. I gained 20 pounds. Because my career at the time was dependent on my physical abilities to be resilient and last long hours doing moderately physical work, I had to look at changing careers. My health insurance wasn't any assistance, they told me over and over that there was nothing they could do for me to make my living better outside of prescribing more drugs -- which, of course, I didn't want because I do believe once you start messing with those, you're at their mercy (especially since the drugs I was going to take would be affecting my nervous system and brain responding).
So here I was, on my 30th birthday, alone on my bed without a soul near me to help me blow out my candles, desperate to find ways to make money since I was broke. I tried to get together a few people to help me start a new project as I saw as a way to make money, but their assistance just created more heartbreak and more pain. They dropped off the project claiming I was too amateur to support. I fell into a deep depression. I ended up dating a guy who was so abusive that he called me to 'comfort' me and in the same conversation, he belittled me saying, "I'm only dating you so i'm not alone. You're not pretty and if someone prettier comes along, I'm leaving you for them." He said a lot more meaner stuff.
The depression grew so great that I was ready to call my life over and be done with it all. Occasionally some great things would happen -- I'd get booked on a small project here or there that, miraculously, would allow me to pay rent and have some food -- but the pattern of my life would slam down. When something good happens, something equally as bad would occur.
Call it Karma. Call it the yin-yang of the universe that everything good has a little bad and everything bad has a little good. The key word I used to believe in was the 'LITTLE'. I figured if you had something great happen, then only something small would occur. No, apparently not. Life likes to keep you on the edge. So, when I went down with my neck, it balanced out the fact that I was five pounds away from my beach body weight and actually felt like I had a group of friends I could trust and hang out with. But no, Life had to do it's 'balancing act' and remind me that my beach body will be taken away from me and the group of friends would soon become those who i thought were 'friends.' Because I'm keenly aware of this, I live my life very calculated. I don't step too far out of the bounds that I know are safe. Which, to a degree, is very sad for me. I don't get to play in the high excitements of life because I'm afraid of what might be taken away if I enjoy it. I also try not to go too far into the dark because I'm afraid of what great thing might come along and the fact that I'll be too far gone and depressed to actually enjoy it. All i wanted was to be taken to a place where everything could just be placed on hold until I could break this cycle. Where I wouldn't miss important deadlines or feel like I lost time and regret things. But there's no such refuge.
I got in touch with a counselor who helped me through some of the depression and mind destruction I was going through. Things started to get better. 31 came and went -- still alone, just not banned to my bed. I had just finished working on my biggest project after making a career change. I finally found a guy who treated me relatively well. Things were to be looking up. But no, after finishing that big project and turning 31, I crashed my car. The balancing act occurred again.
More of these events occurred. I tried to let these events fall off my back like it was nothing. I started breaking through and finally became financially stable again. I got my car fixed. I was getting work consistently. I got back to the gym and broke through what the doctors tried to convince me wouldn't be possible for me ever again. But then a few days ago...
I hit a cyclist. With my car. I did a legal U-turn, I looked both ways. I waited. I turned and as I looked back forward, the cyclist was on the hood of my car. FROM NOWHERE. IN. THE. MIDDLE. OF. THE. INTERSECTION! Being a cyclist myself, I know you're supposed to ride closest to the curb. So how did i hit him? How could I have been neglectful? Why didn't he stop? My life flashed before my eyes. I saw myself going to jail. I saw myself losing everything I had just gained in my life -- my finances, my career, my physical gains -- gone. I stopped my car. I got out. The cyclist got up. He didn't appear to be severely hurt and even he, himself, said he was okay. I couldn't speak. I was frozen and paralyzed.
Then the worst of it triggered me. Some witness who said he saw everything started screaming, "YOU WHITE ENTITLED PIECE OF SHIT CRACKER! YOU HIT HIM! YOU'RE GONNA LOSE EVERYTHING AND YOU DESERVE TO BE FUCKED UP!" I screamed at this guy at the top of my lungs. I don't even remember what I said. I blacked out and saw red. I just recalled him continuing to call me "bitch" and "white piece of shit." This witness wouldn't let me talk to the guy i hit. I got back in my car and waited as I heard sirens in the background of the city noise. My inner self kept saying, "Why wasn't it me that was hit? I would give everything to be the guy who I hit. I deserve to be the one in the road laying dead. Why am I okay? Why!?"
I was shaking and trembling. Uncontrollable tears were rolling down my face. The officers did their due diligence; rudely, because why be kind to a woman who just hit a cyclist? Not like she could use any comforting words. Might as well claim her guilty until proven otherwise. As things began to settle for me, I began to ask questions: "What direction was he coming from?" "Who is he?" "Why is he going to the hospital?" But because i had already been crying, they refused to answer. I mustered up the courage to ask if someone would just "talk to me" and they all burst out laughing at me. I don't remember any of the events of what happened during my hysteria, and when I asked if I could give my statement, the officers said I told three people and that my stories were consistent, so there wasn't any need to give any further statements."
They called my boyfriend to pick me up. The paramedics said I couldn't drive in the state that I was in. I didn't want to drive. I knew my time to drive was over. My insurance was either going to drop me or raise my rates incredibly high to where I couldn't afford it anymore. The cyclist was probably going to sue me for every little penny i have -- which wouldn't be much, but to me it's barely enough to support my own livelihood. I was speechless by the time he got me home. I still couldn't comprehend what had happened. Why did this happen to me? If I am nice and open-minded, and kind and friendly and all that, then why are so many horrible things happening to me? And this event, being the worst thing in my life, why did it have to be me?
I still don't know why. I now have nightmares where the event continues to replay over and over again. I don't want to sleep because the anxiety is killing me. I still haven't gotten behind the wheel of my car since the accident -- i don't want to either because what if something worse happens. What if I kill someone, or myself? I've stopped spending money outside of the bare necessities because when it comes time to fork it over, I'd rather it be ready and available to say, "Here. I hope it brings you more joy that it was going to bring for me." I haven't been able to focus on my next project or cared to do anything good for me. I've considered giving up and accepting a sad soul-less job at a fast food restaurant because, honestly, I don't deserve better. And if I do, the world would probably take aim and kill me because this 'balancing act' would make it so.
I wish I could go back and change hitting the guy. I know I would be better off. I might actually have broken the pattern then. But no. Now I get to be terrified in my own skin, in my own life. Without tools to break out of this life defeating pattern. And what's worse is I don't feel anyone understands. The ultimate question is: "To end this, do I have to end my life?"
I know we moved on and I have really good days where i just think about you and i just simply enjoy the memories i made with you, But then sometimes i have moments where those simple memories become painful and i start to miss you more than usual. Ive tried to move on, ive tried ignoring you, ive given it time and space i dealt with my heart break i even handled you saying there was no longer any meaning to the colors and number. And i mean absolutely no direspect to our relationships but you filled a void for me when you were present. Although deciding to go our seperate ways left an even bigger one that i have no clue how to close or to fill. Maybe you filled yours or maybe you never had one idk i just found myself thinking of you.
What do you know ? They sat on the outside and watched men get on Television and preach to men about giving into filthy Lucre these same men would gamble donations and pay for Children that where disposed of by their families , give me your tired poor and hungry so I could rape them for food became the hidden armada of these theologians . These are the true Children Butchers in our society men like George Herbert Walker Bush William F. Buckley Jr. WTCE-TV did an hour long broadcast of poor children in Haiti received $ 35 million and Genovese said thank you for your donations See, Zeus you talk a big game , Followers of Pastor Charles , ask Antonio Guevara about us . Oh you can't He drowned Sinsinawa
Hello, I'm just trying to find friends and send msgs to each other. More like a secret online friend no pervs please. F22 If interested send me and email: [filtered hyperlink]
I've had something to look forward to for the last 4 weeks. I met a beautiful, well spoken, honest man with great mannerisms. He truly did take my breath away, I continue to have trouble believing this is reality. I think I am dreaming or living in a different realm. I had no intention of meeting anyone or getting serious so soon. I'm still young, categorized as a young adult. Youthful in appearance yet with an old soul. I am actually getting serious with this man. He whom is 2x my age, in his prime time of his life. This guy speaks to me like no other, our spirits are instantly connected. Before I knew it, I thought him long term.. Marriage material, he brought it up before I had it in mind. I am still in college under my parents' roof, trying to hold the family together (1st generation). Most people are married at his age, so I didn't think of it too much. I originally was against marrying early before 24, ideally planned to hop the bandwagon around 30.. Then I see myself with this man, he is older which I've always been attracted to. I worry I will have to marry him early and young, thus leaving my family. No one will care for my parents, my siblings are too invested in themselves to realize they grow old too. I just found out he has 2 strikes, suffering from depression, struggling through financial issues due to lack of job, easily drowsy (I think insomnia), with a drug addiction .. Meth to help him fall asleep. He mention ever since he met me, he's been trying to wane off of it. Which means a lot of respect to me, I can imagine that is difficult. On top of all that, his father is kicking him out of the house in 2-3 weeks. Whenever I am with him, he is obviously tired and having trouble staying awake. He's trying to quit smoking, he reaches when it is a bad day or during stressful events to relax him. He told me all of this 2 days ago, randomly calling me to tell me he's on his way. He insisted I deserve the truth because he's been holding back. There's a lack of support system in his life, his mother passed, brother is married up north, Dad is sick of his decisions, his other family have given up on him. He lacks many friends, recently he had reunited with a few of his buddies. That night we talked about everything, I couldn't stop crying. When he had called, I went outside to find him a parking spot. I had already known this was bad, I had assumed he found out he was a father or his ex girl wanted him, he met a gorgeous female that was his age, and lastly wanted to end it all. I had mentally prepared myself within the 9 minutes I had. I cried and sobbed my heart out for 20 minutes down my street with the neighbors watching. Then we headed back go his place for a cigarette and I cried more. He met my mother 4 days ago. My father and him briefly met that night I had swollen eyes from salty tears. That was awkward but it happened. So there's that, I want to help him but I am unsure what to do. He is a grown man, I give him that. That night he was brave enough to let me upon the truth, he did that not to beg for help, but to give me the option of letting us go. Before all this he kept he needs to pick himself up and grow as a man for me. I had an idea he didn't have a stable job and had some issue floating around. I thought about drug use but ever so slightly. My heart heart the most when he told me he's continuously tried to commit suicide.. December 2016, he didn't put on his seatbelt to attempt of taking his life by backing out of the driveway.. His dad saved him by taking the keys. Out of that all. It hurts to know that I wouldn't have met this man. Not sense this amazing energy, for numerous reasons with the odds working in our favor but from intentional death.. I still cry His father and him don't get along, my heart goes for him. He made silly decisions during his young adult years. It's not that he's just another guy, but sees me as an actual being. He notices the small things I do, paying attention to detail. He's real and doesn't put up a facade. He mentioned he had seen me as his potential wife. The following 2 days, my oh so intuitive like myself Mother dreamt that I would leave her and start a new life with him. That hurt me because at that point I already had strong feelings for him. He's always so kind and does not pressure me to do anything. This man has a massive load of patience and understanding. Already he's telling his friends about me, which is an honor but I am only worried because I don't have anyone to tell with. I don't have friends, I became independent and as my peers worry about social hangouts. I just don't bother because I am not phased. I have a couple close friends but none I would share with. My older sister has yet to meet him, I am scared. He wants to see my mother and tell her all. His belief is it is better to say it now, the truth is going to spill anyways so. I am terrified my parents will not approve after hearing he is unemployed, real age, past history of felony/convicted, lack of financial stability. I know we both need time to sort this through. I told him we will take our time. There is no rush, I am still here. What I like about him is he is always guiding me and giving me wisdom. When ever I think about us I cry.. I don't want to let him go. It is rare to meet a soul that you can spiritually vibrate with. We share the same views about society and social control. I want him to be better and best condition of health is my concern. He is so caring, offering to come to my house to fix my fire alarm battery and helping me with minor house issues. Very sweet of him, it breaks me knowing that such a kind hearted man is going through this. He is applying for jobs but I can imagine it is difficult to find a job with a record. I lost it when he explained that I am the one he sees a future with, love of my life, mother of my kids, friend in need.. I broke it, I kept it in me so long. I recall sobbing in tears, that I wanted to get married, have little mixed babies, grow old together. The moment that replays is "you can't be with a loser like me. I am no good for you. You don't deserve to be with someone that can't provide for you. If I can't afford a ring for you, let alone a place for us -- for you to run around with your textbooks, you deserve what life has to offer for you". I remember he was paranoid I had other guys waiting for me, that it won't work for him .. I remember I was heartbroken because I was confused. I spent the whole day cleaning the house and dusting the front yard for his expected arrival. I denied dinner that night bc I was busy still cleaning and other tasks waiting for me. I was hurt thinking it was over (only a 1 week in us).. He's a SAG Union member so that's where he was getting his income from before.. I knew that face belong behind a camera.. I feel guilty to have him have no place to sleep besides in the bed of his truck. He's always taught me to not cry and be happy about the good things in life. When it is good enjoy it, because when sad parts hit you will relate it to that time when life was once good. I still am in pain not knowing what to do how to help or what to think. I want to get him on insurance. He needs back and ankle surgery that is long overdue 18 years.. I want him to be healthy and strong. As much as for me and for future family but for himself as well. Even if he does not marry me, then I think his future partner deserves man that will be in her life for a long time.
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. they will seize you (( Christain and Jew )) and persecute you.
Picture it-- In 2014 U.S. Army officer announced that the Army is looking to slim down its personnel numbers and adopt more robots , Intelligence agents and military operatives may come to rely heavily on machine learning to parse huge quantities of data, and to control a growing arsenal of autonomous systems. March 14, 2017 Your friends in Anonymous send out another Email-Worm.Win32.Pikachu - an causes a Glitch not a shut down -- over writes the programs and wallah - Some real terminator shit .