I dnt undrstnd whethr i am jst jealous or i hv a reason to b hurt..i mean i gave u so many gifts..u said u lovd thm..bt tdy, wen p gives u gift..u post it on fb..thnk her..let d entire world knw u r so happy wid her gift..wat m i suppose to feel..u nvr shown so mch happiness fr my gifts..u alwys said thght counts, its ok even if it is a smal gift..bt tdy u nly proved that no, its al bullshit..u need to giv a big gift then nly othr person appreciates..or else dey dnt give a fuck abt wat u gave..d tim i gave..d surprises i planned..dey r nothin..fucking liquior chocolates r so important..nd then u say its nothin lik dat..u mke me mre happy..ur words nd actions dnt match mister..u alwys say smethn..ur action proves smethn else..few dys bck..u wer hating her..annoyed wid her..nw suddendly u thank her on fb..wow..what a gift cn..nd wat luv cannot..proved
I remember I told you I was afraid that when we had sex I would be disposable. You told me you loved me and that nothing like that would ever happen, and then you broke my heart...after all the time I spent rebuilding my confidence and self worth you just ripped it all away. My first and last college love, gone in an instant. I miss you already even though its only been four days, every moment we spent together, when you told me you felt that connection... it hurts, you took advantage of my kind and genuine nature. I should have never trusted you...
I want to love myself but i just dont know how. Everything i see about myself i just hate, i just think everything about me is disgusting and i try to change some things and it gets better for a while, but then i just go right back to how ive been.
Mass media distractions designed to de-focus the public's attention on Hillary's scandals , and setting up for United Nations to get into place . You shouldn't be concerned about the clowns you can see , you should fear the one's you can't . During The Upcoming purge - CIA knows , and will orchestrate , a mass false flag , and blame it on Russia . Naval Intelligence officers wish the people would rise up and take them down . You got help. Office of Naval Intelligence
I had a "friend" who used this site to get things of her chest. Guess its worth a shot.
If anyone follows this site you are bound to find the story of RED and BLUE.
Hi, I am BLUE. I still am identify as BLUE even though that relationship died but it will always be apart of me. We moved on and are both in completely different relationships. She is making great progress with her husband. Me, well maybe I'll go into detail another time. Anyway..
Has anyone felt themselves changing? Not like puberty, like a personality change. Like you just see things differently. I've been experiencing this lately.
I'm 23. I work in a hospital and also Urgent cares as a Medical Asstant. My day just doesn't seem to satisfy me. I enjoy my job and the company I keep. I just feel a need for change. Food, sex, adventure just doesn't seem to fill this.. void I've acquired. I didn't have this feeling with Red..
See Red was like a drug you knew you shouldn't be taking. She was like cocaine. She made you want her and she made you feel good. The more you taste the more you slipped away from the reality that your loosing yourself. Now I feel like I am going through withdrawls since having moved on.
Is Red the void I'm trying to fill? Not sure but I feel I need a change in my life before I have a moment of.. weakness. Temporary weakness is messy. Its.. primitive and not productive. I think while I'm feeling this way I shouldn't be in a relationship. It's not far to the person I am with to be still so.. invested in the past right?
Honestly don't know my point here just looking for a different perspective.
You teach your little boys to run around telling people to suck their dicks and then go into full war mode when some body does it ? Let that boy enjoy what you taught him to request .
I took new intix mouse with instruction card no 9967072878 X II but this model is totally waste of money as the mouse is not working if your USB port is working on low voltage. Such a wastage of money as I have to buy high speed USB adapter to make that mouse work which almost cost same as that of price of mouse. Why dont manufacturers mention it on pack that mouse works only with low voltage USB ports only.
I advice you to check all the compatibility of wireless mouse before buying any. If possible check with your laptop before buying.
When your child came down with a chronic cough and ended up ingesting more cough medicine than food for a few weeks, the doctor said to stop smoking in the house.
When your child's cough continued and worsened in the following months, the doctor reiterated to not smoke indoors.
When your child was diagnosed with environmentally-induced chronic upper respiratory disease, you were told again to stop smoking inside.
When your child was prescribed steroids as a toddler, the doctor and the other parent of your children pleaded with you to stop smoking around the kids.
You said you stopped smoking around the children.
However, when your child came home with tangled hair, saying you drive with the windows open; when your child comes to our house reeking of more than cigarette smoke to the point where clothes and teddy bears have to be washed multiple times; when your child says you like to use air fresheners, particularly incense; when your child's breathing treatment equipment smells of smoke itself, and has to be scrubbed before use; when your child couldn't breathe last night and was taken to the ER, only to be diagnosed with asthma, and was prescribed further breathing treatments and steroids...
We all know that you still smoke indoors.
It's not stupidity, which is what I originally thought. It's apathy, ignorance, and laziness. You don't give a fuck about your kids' health, just so long as you can smoke inside. It takes minimal effort to step outside your front door to light up. And it doesn't take a goddamn rocket scientist to understand that incense is just as bad as cigarette smoke.
Your child's issues won't stop with bronchitis, allergies, or asthma; if you don't stop, she will end up with emphysema, or God forbid, lung cancer.
You're killing your kids. Stop.
You... you elevate cheating and deceit to a whole new level. And that's a lot coming from me.
My love. I wanted a future with you. 4 years down the road, I know for a fact I will never have it, neither will I ever love anyone with as much mad passion and devotion as I did you.
You corrupted that part of my soul.
There will be others, but I will never again be capable of such strong emotions. For the first 2 years I couldn't even breathe.
I am only thankful I learned of all your dirty secrets in retrospect, and not while they took place.
Thank god I didn't know about all this back then. It would have killed me. I knew you're two faced, but knowing and having to confront it, are two different things.
If i could, I would un-know all of it. Erase it from my head.
Because for all lies i heard, the biggest one was about the importance of truth.
That's a lie. It is better not to know. You will get to same end-destination either way, but at least it will be a soft landing.
The truth will taught me nothing new, no life lessons, and I didn't change my life over it. It just gave me pain I know not what to do with, but I know it will always stay with me in some small way.
If this has taught me anything, is that you should never ever confess or tell the truth about your ugly parts. In body or soul.
Look what you've turned me into. I'm even worse than you are.
You... you're a fucking wreckless IDIOT, who can't comprehend consequences. You're plenty strong-willed and independant, and the only reason you have to lie like that, is cause you were a fucking idiot back then, and kept repeating the same mistake. You dumb piece of shit.
And i'm not. We're both terrible, so how dare I judge you?
I don't have an excuse. I'm not stupid. I know full well what I'm getting myself into. I am simply weak, selfish and corrupted almost to my very core. Almost.
And soon... soon i will be corrupted entirely.
Since i was young I knew i had these two extremes in me. The loving one and the cold one. I think the first one is dying and soon will be erased completely.
What will be left of me then.
Am i really border-sociopath? Will I be able to move forward and do anything if I embrace it fully?
My and my girlfriend have been togeather for 3 years and she just left me last night and moved back home wiht her mother she is still saying she loves me im so confused i really just want to end it all i lost my mother when i was 9 years old i cant stand to loose another person i love so much i have Jealousley issues and i was so bad i told her she couldnt talk to any guys made her drop all her guyfriends and she was so caring about it she actualy did it every thing was fine up to 3 weeks ago when i lost my job and she started saying that im not doing anything. I will admit i was a bad boyfriend for the past 3 weeks or for the last 3 years i know i was not perfect but she had someone that really loved her idk what to do if she dont move back in with me i might end up killing myself i cant stand to loose her idk what to do :(
My ex (soon to be ex-wife) is on the verge of dying. No one believed me at the beginning a year ago when I thought something major was wrong. I was blamed for being an abusive husband, for not doing right by her. Now, flash forward a year after I spent so much trying to get her back to the right side of things, we are finally divorcing and she has overdosed multiple times from the drug addiction she hid from us all. She is currently with a "patient" she met at work and using drugs under his watch. Her tolerance is so high that she now uses a lethal dose every time she needs a high which means her death is eminent. I have no idea how to deal with her death; all I ever wanted was for us to have a good life together.
I know at this point there is nothing left for me to do as she is done with me, but I am still close to her family. To see them so helpless as their daughter/sister/granddaughter falls down this hole and may not get up ever again just tears me apart. Two weeks from now will be our second wedding anniversary and first year fully a part. I am so torn by all the memories of happiness and the current state of affairs. I tried so hard to move on from this and it comes back to haunt me each and every day. I tried to right by her. I just did not see a patient (she was a RN) turning her against me and turning her towards the use of opiates. I am the one who sent her the job application for the job that ultimately led to her downfall. I feel like a fool. I feel like I should of done more. AND I know I am not a fool and I could not have done more. BUT I feel a part of me dying knowing she is not long for this world.
Thanks for reading.
As I here laying in my bed I can feel my heart slowly breaking. Not knowing is the hardest part. I have been my ex's side chick for 21 years. He fell ill and has been diagnosed with cancer. I have no clue what the prognosis is because he can't call or text because his family is with him 24/7 now. So I just cry myself to sleep not knowing if I will ever see him or talk to him again. All I know is his cancer is really bad. I have to act fine like nothing is wrong because I have my own family. No one has a clue that my heart is breaking. How do u let go???I love him so much and I can't imagine my life without him. I feel like my heart is dying a slow and painful death. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
He was just 14. Apparently, he had been bullied. He hanged himself.
He has not yet passed, but he will not recover. His family has to make the awful decision about removing life support and donating his organs.
I just want to say a few things here. Don't bully people. If you're being bullied, get help. Talk to someone. Call 1-800-273-8255 to speak with a suicide counselor. The simple fact that a 14 year old boy was so cut down that he decided the only option was to die tells me that our public schools are in deep trouble. Stop tying teachers' hands with red tape and LET US HELP. Let us do our jobs, and discipline those students who pick on others to build themselves up. Let us talk to students who need help.
Send a few positive vibes toward this young man's family... they are making the hardest decision of their lives right now.
I love you so much, even though you have abused me so badly over this period of time. I have felt physically afraid in your presence, and you have hurt me emotionally in ways I probably won't comprehend for a while. You called the cops on me, lied to them about me. Exposed me to possible charges of fraud. You want to subdue me, keep me under your thumb, but at the same time have the freedom to do whatever you want. Do drugs behind my back. Avoid your doctors. Fuck up your physical and mental health. And worst of all, you want to blame me for everything.
I am a human trash-compactor of emotions, I was raised not to show fear, not to flinch. Too bad they don't tell you that the stuff you decline to feel still hides in your mind, ready to fuck up your life when you least expect it, consuming an exponential amount of mental reserves that would be better spent on a productive life. Everyone comments on how calm I am. I am not calm. I am disassociating. That's what PTSD does, which you would know, if you actually attended your therapy sessions.
How the fuck did this happen? Let's break it down. You have always had an issue with confrontation. I knew this, but I am a problem solver. I don't scream, beg, or cry. I calmly assert my needs, and I expected that in this safe space, free of ultimatums, you would be able to honestly voice your own. What I didn't know is that your fear of confrontation would manifest in a series of lies of omission. You feel great, nothing is wrong, you aren't trying to self medicate, are you? Why would I ask that when you seem so well. Except you're not happy all the time. You don't tell me that you're unhappy, instead you journal it. Like that's good for anything at all when you aren't analyzing it -- using it to track your moods and to figure out your behavior with your therapist. News flash: You aren't in a relationship with your journal, you're in a relationship with me.
You want to be treated like an adult but you behave like a child. You don't make up your mind, you force other people to make it for you and then you resent them for that. You lie about willing to compromise. Then you try to rewrite history. You get petulant and try to exact petty revenge on everyone around you just because you think you DESERVE their pain. You've had such a hard life so your needs come first, always, it doesn't matter what the circumstance.You're an entitled, self-centered child that lacks empathy.
It's funny that this all started on one of your whims. You didn't yet have an addiction. But you had a little moment where you thought "I'm an adult, I deserve this. I deserve this regardless what my doctor thinks, regardless what my fiance thinks, regardless of my former addictions and all the warning signs scrawled on the god damn wall in bright red letters." You had TOTAL knowledge that this was a bad idea, but you did it anyway because you're an "adult." Except an adult would've spoken to their doctor and told them the medications weren't working well enough, because your anxiety was still out of control.
IF YOU HAD ONLY STUCK TO THE MEDICATIONS YOU WERE PRESCRIBED THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. IF YOU HAD TOLD YOUR PSYCHIATRIST THAT YOU WERE HAVING A HARD TIME MANAGING HE COULD'VE WORKED WITH YOU TO ADJUST YOUR DOSAGES. I don't understand why! You aren't suffering any side effects! You aren't sensitive to drugs in general! You had so many OTHER options before deciding to self medicate! You beat addiction to opiates, you beat addiction to cigarettes. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY, SO WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO SELF MEDICATE WITH UNREGULATED DRUGS???
You're going to regret this period in your life if it doesn't kill you and I honestly think that it might. You're driving while under the influence. You're getting into fights with total strangers. Your health was already badly compromised, even before the addictions. Do you want to end it at the age of 40? Your last serious girlfriend dumped you because she said she doesn't want to watch you die. I'm not sure I want to either.
So here I am on the start of my 8 hour journey from San Francisco to LA, and I'm using it as time to reflect and write down all the thoughts that have played on my mind in the decompression from burning man.
I've come to the realization that i am in fact not happy being alone, and it's interesting to hear people's reactions to this truth. Im sick of hearing all the cliches, 'until you love yourself no one can love you', 'you have to master the art of being alone before you can be with anyone else', 'you have to be happy alone and then the right person will find you'. Well sorry, at the moment I can't help but feel that's bullshit...and obviously written by people in happy relationships or feeling like dishing out some wisdom to all us poor lonely lost souls. I've been on my own my whole life, have no home to speak of (I left my birth country of England for good, and get waves of anxiety which turns into severe depression every time I have to go back), no close family, and was never frantically searching for anyone to 'complete me'. when past significant relationships have come along...I can't look back and say that when they developed I was 100% happy in my own skin, and I have certainly never been able to say I love myself whilst I've been alone. If you don't feel love from anyone then how can you feel it for yourself out of thin air? It's like developing an accent, how can you cultivate something without the base? I think there is a misconception of people assuming that everyone who doesn't practice self love is walking around crying and avoiding mirrors and self-depreciating at every opportunity. I totally disagree...I look after myself, I detox, I am thankful for my healthy body, and I know that I am a good and kind person...I know these things. But im not the sort of person to look in the mirror every day and think how beautiful I am. A) because I do not think this, and b) because Even if I did I don't necessarily think going around thinking you are drop dead gorgeous and gods gift to men is a healthy attitude either. The truth of the matter is that i only really start to feel this 'self love' thing when I am in a relationship...my partners' support, adoration, love and energy allows me to see that I am indeed loveable, and it is in a loving relationship that I in fact grow and flourish into my best version of myself; confident, supported, cherished; my heart finally having a foundation of love and trust to stand on. I feel these chiche tidbits of advice people always tell you come from people who are perhaps newly alone, divorcees not knowing how to cope, people newly thrown into the unknown and seeking guidance and affirmation. But what for the people who have made a life out of being solo? How can that apply? I have travelled this globe alone for nearly 13 years...I have made a career for myself which allows me to do this, I am independent, strong, capeable, and certainly do not need any man to make me realize these things. However my heart is lonely, it's tired of being alone, and I'm not ashamed to admit this. Unknowingly and without thinking it at the time I HAVE made it on my own, my whole life in fact. I have been whole, I have been happy, and I have been independently content. I wear my heart and my emotions on my sleeve, and it's interesting for me to now receive what appears to be judgement for not wanting to be alone any more, like its the wrong thing, like its un feminist, like I should be happy alone. This year I went to burning man, and it made me realize my truth...that I do at the heart of it feel like half a person, and that's just the way it is. I'm not going to magically have an epiphany after all these years being alone that actually I'm fine...it's more that I've been fine all this time and now I realize what I want. I'm sick of all the amazing moments, all the open mouthed awe inspiring experiences...and not having someone to share it with. I'm sick of falling asleep, and waking up alone every single day of my life. I'm sick of denying the very core of my being that is affectionate, and craves to touch, to love another. Am i supposed to just be happy in this lonely existence because popular cultures tells me I should love myself first and enjoy my independence?? Sorry for the rant, but I, and my heart are tired. I have always been myself and certainly don't go out searching for 'the one'...but I am also open, and am starting to think that as I start to age...maybe this is really it, maybe I'm past my prime...what if there really isn't someone out there for me?
I know you think of me too.
I clearly made that statement that it was just business.
I told you all of my secrets. It was your job to probe my psyche. You and I both knew I was more than likely never to return to your office after the summer break.
I wonder if you wonder as well.
Im 18 and during the summer I was in a sorta kinda relationship with a guy and we connected on many levels, physical, emotional and it was kind of accidental the way we fell for each other. I met his family, he met mines even though we never really established a relationship and I'm always reluctant with letting people meet my family but he was different. I never really expected to fall for him it just happened on its own, i guess it happens when you spend almost everyday with that person. But when it came down to actually being in an official relationship he was reluctant to be in one being that we were going off to college in the fall. He wanted to live the "college life" everyone always talks about. Parties, drinking flirting with females all that jazz. I couldn't fathom his reasoning behind not being with me it was clear I made him happy and he definitely made me happy so whats the problem. Well now we've parted ways and Im still torn up about it. I feel like I wont be able to love anyone fully anymore because of that situation but I still have hope for the future, Im just having trouble with the now. I feel alone and abandoned when all I ever do is give and give not expecting anything in return but people still use me. I guess its just a phase but I just needed to vent.
So I met this girl in school. She was cute and weird. She was also married. She said her marriage was ending and I let that be a means of justification to start and continue a relationship. I lived with her, we cooked together, slept together, shared all of the dark corners of our childhood. Yet I now see I was the altimate side chick.
Even though I fell in love and made her fall in love with me. Her love for him wasnt going anywhere. Still it felt like the best thing ever until one day I made a mistake. I had been drinking, thinking about her husband and had a sinking feeling of being temporary. So.. one night after we had been intimate and she was sore and said she couldnt go any longer. I forced my fingers inside of her. I wanted to show her how temporary, unimportant and meaningless I felt. Once I saw her face I realized what I had done. I had broken trust and after a very long night a emotional.. discussion. She agreed to give me a chance to fix things. That morning she went back to her husband.
Over the course of the last 3 months she has bounced between us both. Then basically tried to have her husband and I compete for her. I told her we needed to move on shortly after that, but still remain friends because we both were each others bestfriends. She was going to work on things with her husband and I was going to work on me. I told her that when I had an interest in someone I'd let her know just so she wasnt blindsided. I had an interest. She didnt take it well.
I dont understand how she can be mad. How she can choose to end our friendship because Im moving on. Like she is with her husband. She thinks I lied to her because I didnt tell her the details of my interest with her. I am happy with my interest. I want her to be happy with her husband. Maybe we just cant be friends.
I am finally dating the nice guy. It's great! We've been dating 2-3 weeks. But....he wants to get concert tickets with me for March....which is 6 months away. I just got out of a relationship that lasted a year and 3 months before that I was in a relationship for 5 years. and three months before that I was in a relationship for 2 years. All with complete assholes. Needless to say, I am NOT jumping into another relationship because I am finding that I choose shitty men for fear of being alone. Which is all fine and dandy to realize but is not the issue. The issue is, I don't know how to nicely tell him I don't want to get tickets with him for something 6 months away, we will still know eachother at that time no matter what, bc of our friendship group... What should I say to this guy? I really like him, but that's just too far out.
A few months ago, I dated this guy. From the beginning being together was difficult because of the long distance. However, we grew to accept the distance because our feelings were far greater than any silly distance.Then I find out that my parents strongly forbid us to be together. I'm talking about Romeo and Juliet stuff, they're so dramatic.They didn't approve of his family background. I understand on some level why they worry but he was a good guy who loved me more than anything . After months of resisting my parents, we broke up. I've tried moving on and dating other guys but I could never love them the way I loved him.
I'm angry at the world for making it so difficult for us to be together. I'm angry at my parents for breaking us up. The one guy I've ever actually could love, is the one guy in the world I can't be with. It frustrates me. During the time I was with him, were the happiest, even with the distance and drama. Now my life without him, it's not the same.
Even though, I don't see him or talk to him, I still think about him every day. I just want be with him again, but I can't change how my parents feel about this. I kind of wished he fought for me, instead of ending our relationship. He said that he didn't want to hurt me any further especially since it was causing a lot of drama.Now I've lost my boyfriend who was also my best friend. Yeah I know, I should choose my parents over some boy right? Well who said I was choosing. I'm simply just following my heart (super corny), it just happens to be a guy my parents don't approve of. The thing that frustrates me is that its not that they don't approve of him, its his parents! The whole reason why we broke up, is not because we weren't a good fit, it was because of other people. I might be walking out on something really good.
I've been hoping he would talk to me again. He did, but I was on a date (trying to but unsuccessfully move on). After that we found it difficult to find the right time to talk to each other, since we had busy schedules ALSO seems like life is against us being together like some kind of big sign saying I should give up on this relationship. However, I don't believe in signs especially when they are telling me the opposite of what I want!
I just want to know if I should reach out to talk to him again. I'm not sure if I should be fighting for him since he clearly is not fighting for me. If he really loved me he should've reached out to me or something or at least continue being good friends? He knows I've been seeing someone, so maybe he thinks I've moved on. Should I talk to him again, to clear things up. Should I let him know I still love him or just forget him and let him believe I'm over him.
...I want to say, OK. Yes, I'm white. So that gives me a "privilege point" over you, because most people judge someone immediately by what they look like, including skin color.
Consider this as well: I'm a bisexual female with a history of being sexually and emotionally abused; my parents have been divorced for years; my brother, as well as two cousins and an uncle, are not white; my brother is going through the judicial system for selling drugs; I work THREE jobs, yet I am on welfare; half of my family (including myself) have struggled with substance abuse for years; I live in one of the poorest regions of the US; I suffer from three different mental illnesses (anxiety, depression, and OCD) as well as a few physical illnesses; I have been homeless; and I have been bullied.
My point is, if YOU don't want US to judge you for your skin color, DON'T JUDGE ME BY MINE. We do not know everyone's background and life story. I have spent my entire life trying to do the right thing, and that includes standing up for people who are being unfairly judged. I've been bullied due to poverty and sexuality my entire life, so I know how important it is to help others when they're down. However, you all are making it really hard to stand up for you when you fight violence with more violence, and then law enforcement responds with MORE violence to protect their city, so you turn around and respond with even more violence. And when I try to open dialogues with you to better understand my "privilege" and what I should do to help, I am belittled, spoken down to, treated like shit, and told to "go talk to your people, whitey." Since Treyvon Martin, I've done my best to stay educated and on the right side of history. But I do not want to be associated with the thugs that burn their own city down and destroy black businesses and black neighborhoods because they say "Black Lives Matter."
Anyway, from here on out, I vow to keep my political/social views on what's happening in this country to myself. Arguing on the internet only results in more conflict, and doesn't solve anything. I always seek to understand before being understood, but it's a little pointless when I'm the only one doing it. I'll take action as I see fit, and stand up for those who need my help in my own way, WITHOUT anyone else's input. I'll vote for who I think will fix this country.
PS - You can support equality without waving a BLM/feminist/LGBTQ flag. Just be a good fucking human being. That's it.
We have been dating for a few months, he's 21 and I'm 19. He likes to role-play incest situations, like pretend I'm his younger sister. It's been fun in kind of a weird way. He has been begging me to tease and seduce my actual brother. Dressing sexy around him, brushing up against him, just little things. My confession is I fucking love it and I get so excited when I think about how far I can take this.
This is the marriage your fighting to keep in your mother's home, back bedroom. Lust of the eye gate. The adulter, pedophile of the pulpit. Watching while urinating, brushing teeth and in the shower. What type of women are you? Absolutely no morals; knowing the details. And yet keeping him. Thee greatest kept secret, hmm now EXPOSED! Your marriage
I'm currently 19 and she is one and a half year younger than me. I know her for a year now, we've been talking everyday since then on skype or just texting. I've been in love with some girls before but it's different with her... i can tell her everything and anything, we know each other so well that we understand each other's feelings with no word. I know that she likes me and cares about me a lot, I can make her happy and I even saw this once when she did not realize that she called me and she was extremally happy because of me. She is my only reason to live, I ain't got no friends and don't get on well with my family - she is everything for me - my best and only friend, my family replacement and finally the person I love the most and above everything, including myself. The think is that despite her liking me so much, whenever I ask her out she says that she wants to be alone and she doesn't want a BF :( I hope that it's not true and think that it could be caused by her horrible family situation - where she has to care about the house and her little bro since her mom gives no shit and hangs out with her lover instead. I dunno, all I know is that I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH!! LOVE YOU KATE!!!
Now listen up I know the first thing most of you after reading the title will say is "dude stop chasing her and move on, there are other girls." I mean yeah, if she was just some girl that I happened to have casual sex with or just thought she was sexy I would agree. Here's the catch though I love her. No I don't mean I'm obsessed with her and I can't go without her, I've had good relationships without her. I want her to be happy, I would do almost anything to support her, of she needs to vent I will listen. Make no mistake I know she doesn't owe me a damn thing... I'm 18 and she's been in a 1/3rd of my life. We first met in middle school around 6th grade. 8th was the year I made love to her and kissed her, sadly when she was already dating someone. (I was caught up in the moment.) She makes me feel like no one else, I went years without seeing her and I was fine, but the moment she came back into my life that spark lit a fire in me. She is intoxicating, she understands me, she still cares about me, she still calls herself my best friend... best friend. Friend huh? No matter what else I do when I see her my heart is on fire, a passion I can only get in lesser amounts from other women. Yet she doesn't use me and respects me, calls me to see if we can go see a movie or hang out.
I tried to convince myself I don't love her to this day, tried to convince myself she wasn't my first and true love. Yet damn what anyone else will tell me... if this isn't love than love doesn't exist. My heart cant give any more than this, my body can't want ANY more than this. She is my final frontier, yet in the end if she want's me to leave I will. I'll go. Because if I couldn't then I know it wasn't love. Now I am more straight forward about how I feel, I stare into her eyes. I tell her out loud I am not one of her girlfriends. And she responds, her friend told me her feelings are becoming confusing about me again, she doesn't think she is in love, but she likes me more than a friend. If god exists I merely ask for 1 of 2 things.
- Let us be together, if only for a year or two more.
- Erase her from my memory so I can be free from love's curse.
He may not get it all right. He may not even come close to perfect but i love him. They said find what makes you happy and i did. He really makes me happy. Its been a rollercoaster of a marriage but hes all i want. I hurt him, really bad but he saw something in me that was wirth keeping. Ive had a good man all this time and all he needed from me was a little time and patience as we worked through our pile if problems. For the first time in months i see that guy that i married, the one who lit up my world everytime he was mentioned, the guy i fell head over heels for. Were still reparing the damage i caused but were happy again. I made the right decision and im happy now. I cant believe i almost gave up on him. Hurting him was the dumbest thing i could ever do, as i work to mend myself he helps too. He never lost sight of why we got married he fought hard for our marriage, and everything we built. He is the best thing i could ever ask for. I cant wait to see what our future holds.
Is it true that when you are in a real good relationship you never feel alone? Is it a thing to always have those cute moments and inside joke between the 2 of you that no one else understands? There are days that I am so in love with my guy but then there are days when I wonder why I am with him. They are totally drastic feelings and idk why it happens. I find myself being upset over the fact that I feel like my relationship is a "good one". We don't have alone time where we just sit and talk for hours with each other. We don't even have time together for dinner. Sure, we sit in the same room 90% of the time but he never talks to me. He always has to have a tv or a phone or another person around. I know guys are known for not being into mushy gushy love but isn't it a problem that he never wants to cuddle or have cute kissy moments? I want to have those moments that other people envy...and we just don't. I don't believe anyone looks at us and would say we are in love. I wouldn't. He gets so offended when I talk about this to him...so maybe it's all in my head? I just know the only time I truly feel loved by him is while he is drunk. He loosens up and isn't scared to show his real emotions. He's scared and he says he's working on it....but how long do I need to wait in order for us to have a happy normal relationship?
He isn't the type that is never on there. He is constantly on there. He has NEVER put me on his instagram or snapchat and the one time he put me on his FB was when there was another chick in the photo with us. I put him on all of my accounts all the time. I openly address him as my boyfriend as well. I understand how some think it's stupid to be bothered by this but why wouldn't I be on there? If we go on dates out to somewhere cool...he'l post about everything there....except the one he came with (me). Am I over reacting?
Its crazy how you can go from spending everyday with someone, you let them into the deepest part of you and just like theyre gone. It was a rollercoaster but that person was everything to me. As i learn from the many mistakes i made i still remember what you taught me, i know you couldve never imagined me turning on you like i did,you probally dont understand, i tried to explain it but ended up just making a fool of myself instead. To be honest i could never be as happy as you are for me, i shouldve just told you i didnt think we could be friends because i honestly i cant watch you be like that with anyone else i really dont undestand how you could do it. Everytime i thought you were with her it hurt me because i was in love with you too and i was still competing for your love. When she left the nunchucks at that moment i realized that you would soon chose her over me and maybe i was wrong about that but at the moment i actually knew what you eant when you said you felt temporary and i did !nd said sone hurtful things because i wasnt cooing with the heartbreak well. All i kept thinking is one day all the things we did and time we spent together woundnt mean anything to you. And that was the worst one of all. Crazy thing is i do still miss you, i get these random dreams and flash backs of time we spent together, you still hold that part of my heart. Though its better if i love you from a distance i still make wishes for you at 11:11.
I always try to find someone to crush on so that i can focus on someone other then you. but the more i do that the more i lose myself, the more i become fake. i really want to get over you but how could i if everyone i have a crush on looks like you? i drink, get high just to get you off my mind but yet the more i do the more i just want to all the time my emotions are everywhere. i need help and i miss you so much how could i love someone so much that hurt me so bad? what should i do? i have no idea what to do....you in my head all the time and i hate it. i'm so depressed all the time i found a guy that is nothing like you but he don't like me and i like him but then i don like him its like physically i don't like him but when i talk to him and look at his eyes i get this feeling like there tension there but then theirs not.
I recently found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. My fiance and both of our families are extremely excited. I, however, am not. I hate the fact that I'm pregnant and constantly wish for a miscarriage or fantasize about how I could get an abortion with no one ever finding out. I'm already getting gifts and my MIL squeals with excitement, but all of these things just annoy me. On top of that, my body is going through the cliche pregnant lady changes and I have morning sickness (which I don't understand why they call it morning sickness because I'm sick the entire day). I am depressed, miserable, and not looking forward to my breasts leaking milk for the next year. I don't want the full time responsibility of raising a child either. When I walk through the baby section in a store, I don't become elated with joy at seeing the tiny outfits. I prefer not to hold people's babies and frankly it's rare I find one cute. They annoy me with their crying in restaurants and when someone brings one into a movie theater, I feel a strong need to ask the mother what the fuck was she thinking. I feel like my life is now over--all of these little fantasies I had about going back for a Masters or JD will now be put to bed, living in Barcelona will never happen. And on top of that, I can't go on my fucking ski vacation! I want to run away, live by myself, and never see any of you people ever again.
The person i am perceived to be, l strive to become. Alcohol never helps yet, releases all things standing in my way of myself. Only downside is, it not only releases my shortcomings. It releases my whole person into this worthless piece of shit who found himself but, is regretting and forgetting that it even happened.
I've had depression for a year and a half now. I go to therapy but that doesn't help. I've tried to kill myself five times and have been in a mental hospital for two months of my summer. That did not help. I used to be on fluoxetine and now I'm on sertraline. I self harm. My mom and dad think I'm getting better but really I've just got good at acting. But now... I am just so emotionally and physically numb that I can't think straight.. Nobody understands. The last time I felt like this was the night I swallowed 80 pills. I can't even rembered half the things I 'felt' that night. Then again in the mental hospital. Not until a month later did it really sink in where I was. I'm open to chats and I'll be blogging my feelings most days.. To anyone out there listening.... Hi😬
i have no one in the world. i live with adoptive parents that hate me and i hate being at school because i have one friend and she makes me feel terrible about myself. I cry almost all the time because this feeling of loneliness is overwhelming. I dont know what to do. I wish i had at least one genuine person in the world i can love trust and care about. Unfotunatley its just me and most likely will be like that forever.
i am really into someone right now and i dont know how to go about it...do i be straight foward? do i let him do the work? I HAVE NO IDEA....someone helppp
I think I've finally decided to call this thing off. We have been dating for some years now and I'm tired of the disrespect. The last ounce of disrespect has caused me to ignore him for the last week. He doesn't get it...and if he did, his own pride and mind wont allow him to speak/act on it. We live in the same house and I have no desire to be the way we used to be. No man was worth this...but apparently plenty of women were. Even aside from the other women....he never spoke to me and often told me I was annoying and talked too much. I was called obsessed over him as well as the other females he tried to hide from me. I loved him a lot and the thought of someone getting what I held so dearly was devastating. Obviously having proof of it made it worse. I just began to wonder what I wasn't doing good enough. He pretends not to understand the hurt he has caused just because he refuses to take ownership. He refuses to accept that he has become just as heartless as the woman responsible for his hurt.
I am the only adult in my family. I'm okay with that, I have been helping my mom and brother out for a. Long time. A few years ago, I got fed up and asked my bro to move out. It worked and he is doing better but know he is transitioning I to a new job which has the potential to become a prominent career. Problem is money will be scarce to start off for him and his child. I am changing careers as well and money is tight. Part of me want so asked him to move in again because if he payed some bills it would be some help for me. I was very angry at him before because he never paid me on time. I don't know what to do and even though I dont have any children or family of my own, I have a lot riding on my shoulders.... sometimes I wonder, what's the point to it all. What's the freakin point.
For a long time i always looked at the glass half empty. Except when it came to people, i always tried to find the good in people even when they hurt me. Any one who knows me knows that alot of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is negitive but that started irritating me so much. So i asked my self why are you so negitive all the time?Because truth is i liked attention i liked when people felt sorry for me because when i was little thats the only time anybody paid attention to me, That then became apart of my personality. Then i asked myself why do i really bottle my problems when i know ill just snap on someone i love later ?well because i dont like to let stuff go i hold on to my past because im afraid of the future i held on to all these many things/people of my childhood even the bad because i am afraid of letting go. Which brings me to the topic of anxiety, why? when i had all the tools advice and resources to get it under control i choose to not deal with it- because i liked the love i felt from those who wanted to help me, so i suffered from it day in and day out just to see people care about me. So golden question... why are you unhappy? Because i let issues from my past control me i found "love" any way i could even if it meant hurting the ones i cared about. I got so wrapped up in enjoying the attention that i just became this negitive person who never saw my glass as half full. So what really kept me from being happy?sadly the answer is me. But some one showed me all the tools necessary to find my own happiness. 2+2=4 but so does 3+1 she showed me a different way and for once i stopped being so hell bent on excuses that i actually did it. I found my happiness. I see that my glass is half full. Everything ive ever wanted or needed i have. Its so many things in life to appreciate. I created my own family, i have food and a roof over my head, i am surrounded by people who care about me even the one i love from a distance bc if i ever truly needed that person theyd be there in a heart beat. My biggest fear in life is loosing people. But i have never lost anybody. Ive been blessed that no one close to me has ever passed away. Life for me now is love peace and happiness reguardless of whats going on around me i now have the ability to find the good and just be happy with what i have. My eyes are so open to life right now. I have seen my ability to seriously do damage but i have also seen the ability i have to bring so much happiness into me and the people around me. I get why i was called a walking contradiction bc my angels and demons were always going toe to toe. But theres more good in me then bad i know it ive seen the good in me. Im pretty sure this is what she tried to teach me. Love.peace.happiness.
So i miss you and sometimes i wish i could shout that from the top of my lungs so i know you hear me and sometimes i just want to bottle it and make the feeling go away but truth is you probably don't care. You probably don't even feel the same way, but i miss you. I miss dancing with you, i miss your voice and your big brown eyes and your thick curly hair. I heard its gotten so long and for some reason that made me smile. I miss your smile and how soft your hands always were when they locked with mine. I miss watching you condition your hair every morning getting dressed in those purple scrubs and leaving to go do what you do best. I miss the excitement you always had when i was around. I miss watching the passion in your eyes as you talked about Dr. Who, surfing, and hookah. I'm not going to lie, i miss BLUE more than words could explain I've gotten rid of every trace of you and yet I'm reminded of the time we spent together everyday in some way but i miss the best friend i had too. Truth is she's a lucky girl. She got you. The amazing you. And i know you make her happy and help her through all her problems and your there for her and I'm happy that you guys are happy, except for the fact that i miss you..so much..ill never tell you because i know ill only get my feelings hurt but, even after everything thats happened i still think about you non stop, i still dream of the way you used to look at me. I know i let a really good thing go and that will probably stay with me for the rest of my life and I don't expect you to feel the same but sometimes i wonder do i cross your mind like you cross mine.
I wouldn't even call it a pregnancy scare, because the odds of me being knocked up right now are so slim, they can't even be counted.
For the most part, my cycle is normal. It's usually 28-29 days, and I usually start before 10 AM. I get all the usual PMS symptoms. I'm not on birth control, but my partner and I use condoms, he pulls out, and I count days and avoid sexual contact on days 8-19. We are also very careful with clean up, and no residue goes where its shouldn't.
Here's the problem: I'm four days late. I know that doesn't seem like much, but my cycle is usually perfect, like clock work.
I've heard of other things influencing periods, like stress/diet/health issues/etc.The only things that have changed between my last period and now are that I switched to a new multivitamin, I started a part time job that's only 8 hours/week (not stressful at all, I work alone), I ate a lot of junk food last week (usually I eat pretty healthy), and my sleep schedule was altered one day last week (I stayed up three hours later than usual and slept in a bit). None of these changes feel like anything so severe that they would disrupt my cycle.
I've been taking vitamin c and drinking ginger/green tea in hopes that it would help get things started, because I have all the PMS symptoms now (sore boobs, minor cramps, back ache, headache, moodiness, etc), and I just want to feel better.
I'm going to wait a few more days, and if it doesn't show up, I'm going to get a preg. test, but in the meantime, has anyone ever experienced this???? PMS but no period? I need advice.
Im 21 i hate my life so much. All i ever wanted in life was to get married and have kids and have a boring casual job doesn't sounds like an achievement but that all i ever wanted. Now im at uni, i hate it so much, im just passing and every second of my life is a miserable piece of art. i feel like im going to have this uni degree and a career i never wanted and im going to hate every second of the rest of my life. Please give me some suggestion on what i should do or how to feel better or something that will keep me from slicing my carotid artery.
I'm so fucking frustrated at myself for being so fucking useless at life, for not fitting in, for not caring much for very many people, and being so fucking overly jealous and paranoid and boring and useless that I'll end up losing the one person I do love. I don't want to end up lonely, again, after another failed relationship because someone has gotten bored of me again, or because in my own insecurity and drunkenness go on to fuck things up all by myself. I can't stand most people, I want to change the world, or better still live in a world that doesn;t need changed. This place is a mess, everywhere I see hypocrisy, I see greedy morons with better lives than me (and billions more), I see corruption everywhere and I wish I had the intelligence and the dedication and the abilities to do something useful about it, or to just be able to ignore all that shit and just enjoy the good times I've got. Every moment of freedom from work that I have I find ways to piss it up against a wall. Procrastinating, clicking on the same shitey websites that barely change throughout the day, not even that fucking interested in what I'm reading. I have no dedication. To anything, but I want so badly. I want to learn Japanese faster than at a snails pace, I want to play a musical instrument for more than 5 minutes before giving up, I want to do the thing that I am quite good at but lack the vital skills (out of sheer laziness). I know I am good at one thing but my laziness holds me down. But it is just so difficult to overcome. I feel tired all the time yet I only have a part-time job, I have no friends who live close by since I moved away from unni. Just my girlfriend, and she is great but I can feel it slipping away, her ambition and dislike of standing still can only take so much when there's me sitting there wasting away my days making no progress unlike everyone else seems to do. Poeple get 50 things done in a day when I am lucky to manage to do one, and feel accomplished when I do, so sit back for another 3 weeks. I just fucking hate how miserable, alone, clouded, guilty, talentless, freindless I feel. I want to change everything, just fuck off to another country that I appreciatemore than my own shitty one. Everyone is a fucking idiot and I know no matter where I go that will only change a little, there will be all the same frustrations, all the same pointlessness. That's it, it all just seems so pointless. I don't want to suck up to a bunch of people just to maintain a social circle, I don't like most people, they are mostly fucking self-obsessed cunts and they are always competing, everyone is competing, and I always feel vulnerable, weak, ugly, unfit, tired, lazier, than anyone else. I am starting to feel tense just leaving my door and venturing out there, feeling constantly judged even though there's many more people worse off than me, uglier, older, less well dressed and so on. I have no reason to feel so shit other than that seems to be the way I was made. I was always shy, always terrified to speak up, always lazy and found it difficult to concentrate on one task, or to be truly creative, yet I want to be creative, it frustrates me when I try. I jst want a change, I just want some happiness, some security, to do some things I enjoy every once in a while. To have sex with someone who loves me since I NEVER get sex these days, another nail in my relationship's coffin, I feel. It's not me, it's her, she doesn;t feel beautiiful, she doesn;t feel comfortable... well maybe that makes me feel like shit too, maybe that's me being incredibly selfish, maybe it's her, it's just another fucking thing I am not happy aboout, I am angry about it, I would do, and offer to do, anything for her, she usually reuses and never thinks of ofering herself so selflessly to me. Maybe I'm just a cunt or maybe that IS really shit for me, who knows. I just want a total change of life, of personality, to be someone who will acheive something with their ife, not rot away in unhapppiness, or worse, end it all the sooner as things become less and less meaningful and exciting to me in life as they feel they are getting now. Rant over. Won't spell check, or grammar check, I know most of it won't make sense, I jump around the place, but fuck it, I just wanted to write my thoughts as they appeared, will make entertaining reading it back after I post it...
My wife wants me to lose weight but I am more than happy at 200lbs... what should I do?
I really liked tge old site better. Maybe im just weird but i liked seeing how many people viewed my post even if there was no comment.
My husband of 5 months told me he doesn't feel a spark between us anymore, he isn't IN love with me. He tells me he proposed because he wanted me to know that he takes our relationship seriously and he regrets getting married so fast. He is blaming society for making him feel like he needed to get engaged and then get married a year later. What do I do?! He had me fooled. I am completely in love with him and want to be together for the rest of our lives. How can I feel so strongly all while he is putting me in the friends zone?!
This is what was removed from the servers by King Cuttica:
Wigley and his hand puppet King Cuttica (yes there was a coronation last summer and yes if you do not blindly support the King you will be tried for treason) are fond of saying that Sun is “an enduringly great proprietary trading firm”. What a bunch of doo doo. An enduringly great firm does not sue its employees; it does not lose employees to competitors; it does not keep friends around when they do not perform; it rewards performance not politics and so on.
Most of you may not remember Tonh Hu and Leonid. Very smart PhD quant
traders and partners. They grew tired of the stupidity they saw at Sun and its then Head of Trading and left the firm. Sun tried to screw them of their cash. They sued and Sun has no case so settled with them for lot more money.
Then comes Kieran, remember him, MBM trader, made lots of money for
Sun, gets shafted on his bonus, he leaves, Sun accuses him of destroying its algos, Sun goes after him and tries to destroy his reputation. Guess what, Kieran fought back and a three person arbitration panel found him innocent of all charges. Sun goes after him for $240k but now has to end up paying him $1.3 million (not including whatever it cost Sun for legal fees and distractions). Speak of another stupid management decision.
Surely, there are more such cases hiding in the vaults. Curious to
know what happened to Bernie (the song and dance that was put up for us – well most saw through it). Is there a lawsuit there?
Asad and Tom Kelley, the best traders at Sun both are working at
competitors. The last five developers to leave are all working for competitors. There are over 80 people who left Sun in the last 4 years. Yes a truly enduringly great trading firm.
So as you look to see why you get shafted on your bonuses year after
year, look to see all the stupid decisions management makes, all the money it throws away and then you will realize why there is no money to pay you. Unless of course you have your head up you know whose you know where, then you will be taken care.
I hate to have to say that outloud, but it's true. Today she made me so made that tears of anger washed my face. I haven't felt that kind of anger in a long time. My sister is in a much higher tax bracket than I am and she makes no bones about how much better she is than me. She talks down to me as if I were nothing. I love her and yet I hate her. She can make a room full of people feel awkward just with her mood. It's palpable. It's like she needs to be personally invited to every family event there is. And we aren't a formal bunch. If my mom calls her in the morning and she's busy then, she expects another call later inviting her again closer to the time of a meal. My mom bulls up and won't do that and my sister gets offended and says she's "out of the loop". She always says that sarcastically to me like I'm the one keeping her out of the loop. That's not true at all. She won't call my parents and they won't call her. Both thinks the other should do the calling. Somehow I get put squarely in the middle as I have my whole life. Each asks me what the other is up to. Today my sister brought up an instance where she thought she was slighted about being asked to a flea market. (Although she said I brought it up, which I didn't.) She was asked the night before and said maybe. The next morning she was asked again and said no because she had been, "left out of the loop." See, she wants to be invited again and again. So, today I told her that maybe in the future if she feels I'm keeping her out of the loop that she should talk directly with my parents. She tells me I'm making an issue out of things and that she does not need my drama. My drama? Please. She said that we would just continue as we always do. I said, "Alright then. Have a nice day." I am 46 years old and older than here. I will not be treated like that anymore. I've let her walk all over me my entire life and I'm done. I will not buffer her sand paper personality for my parents any longer. She can show her true colors. Right now I am so angry at her that I spit nails. She's a bitch and bullying one at that. She's got a vicious mouth when she's angry. She'll pick an agrument and then tell me it's my drama. Fuck her.
I get pushed aside constantly because I'm a woman. I've put in the same effort and time as everyone else, and I reach for every opportunity. I'm just as good as the others. But no one gives me a second thought. It makes me angry and sad. And I don't know what to do.
My friends have no idea how much i miss them. I hate being alone. If it wasnt bad enough its my first year of college and i havent made any solid friends sure a couple but nothing to brag about. I hate that im always alone unless its at class or the occasional girl that i hang out with, but i cant even depend on her to do things with. College definately has taught me that one saying is true you can be in a room full of people and still feel like your alone. My parents say it will get better as the months go on but i feel like if it hasnt gotten better by now it may never get better. The only thing keeping me from crying my eyes out EVERY NIGHT is my 3 close friends which i talk to practically everyday. If it wasnt for them and God, id probably have just ended this semester now. Being heartbroken and alone in college is a recipe for disaster.
My Names is Monique Curry ,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa June 15th on a business summit i meet a man called Dr ADAGBA, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 7 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to taxes my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: firstname.lastname@example.org OR email@example.com you can also call or whatsapp him via +2349057354407 or website;http://adagbaspiritualtem9.wixsite.com/mysite