Church community is valuable. Especially if you live in a country where 0.4% of the population is Protestant Christian. My family is third generation Christian. My church is small with only about 20 members. We are a cozy family. We support each other and work with other churches in the area like brothers and sisters. My church was my home. But i left it.
I left my church because I was accused of sleeping with a nonbeliever and everyone was crying about it, believing it, and gossiping about it behind my back. It wasn't true but no one ever thought about talking to me except for one person outside of the church. No one came up to me and asked for the truth. They just assumed I was a whore. The whole time this rumor was getting around, my church continued to ask for my family's financial support as they were suffering from an insufficiency. I felt used. It was pathetic. I was also accused of passing around a rumor about the youth pastor and a woman that were dating. The girlfriend was so sure that I had just randomly picked the two to start a rumor and tell everyone. The truth being that she herself had told a missionary in the church... And I also was absent from the church for a while year for a study program abroad during the time the rumor really went around. They were always lovey dovey and there were rumors 5 years before I even knew them. People just wanted to point fingers because the girlfriend was so angry. She overreacted and told people that she wasn't dating him. She was so angry that people thought she was a sinner. (Dating was a taboo topic at this church don't ask me why) She told me that the pastor's reputation was at stake because of me. I was blamed and falsely accused. By that point everyone in the church thought I was a slut or gossiping bitch so I didn't see the point in staying.
These things happened in a church community where I believed to be safe. I couldn't believe it. I was hurt, and I felt used. I wasn't able to trust the very people who told me we would always be a family. Oh and to top everything off, the pastor and his girlfriend thought it would be funny to invite me to their wedding (yes they ironically got married) but of course I declined the invitation.
I understand that people get defensive and sometimes make irrational decisions, but this was too much for my heart. I never told anyone my story because I didn't want any church to be discouraged by my story. I hid my feelings and accepted it as my pain. I didn't want anyone to know. I wanted people to see my church as a good church. I didn't want other people giving up on having a good relationship within the community. It was easier if I just left.
I just left. And their lives went on. Marriage happened. People thought I just lost my faith in God. They see me as a loser bitch now. But that is far from true. God has taught me the valuable lesson that he himself if the only one that can be trusted and that I shouldn't discriminate Christians and non Christians. People are equal.