FearlessBlogging.com: anonymous discussions.

By the way, got any cute girl friends...?


Here are some recent conversations:


I'm afraid, so afraid I won't be able to attend school this year because we don't have money. I love learning it's my escape but the possibility that this year it might not be it for me scares the shit out of me. Classes have already started so i'll probably be two weeks late this is my third year I can't miss a lot of work. I hate this feeling of not being able to help myself, of being completely powerless. It's a soul crushing feeling. I'm anxious, scared, so damn scared. It's like the universe wants to take all that is me away and leave me with nothing. It keeps drowning me over and over again, one day I don't think I will come up for air. It's so tiring, so frustrating to be in my position it's like have I not suffered enough? Have you not punished me enough? What do you want from me? I'm so lost, so angry right now. I cannot wait until this world ends so suffering can end too, I can't wait for nothingness to take over so I can not feel, see, touch, be.

posted to society by Brett, Ship Master of Imagination (1 comment)

I just discovered this blog site. I sometimes spend time on The Experience Project and Anonyme, but just discovered that they have both ceased operation. What were the real reasons these sites shut down? Anonyme sites lack of sufficient funding. Perhaps. Were there legal pressures? Other mitigating factors?

I am deeply concerned. We need to be able to communicate and express ourselves freely. Technology has provided the platform, but digital communication has stripped us of privacy. If we are to be free, we need these channels open. It is vital that we remain aware and vigilant, lest we lose our voices before realizing their worth.

My thanks to Fearlessblogging.

posted to society by Brett, Shepherd of the IT department (0 comments)

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. I am his first serious relationship and longest (he's had like 3 others before me, but the longest lasted 3 months). He always makes comments about other chicks and how he likes their hair, style, etc. Yet he struggles to compliment his own damn gf. He told me about his friend he went to high school with, who was with a girl I kne . I asked him if he knew that girl and he said "oh her? Yeah... She was pretty fuckin hot". I slipped my hand out of his because I'm fed up with him saying comments like that. I told him "you don't just say sXXX like that to your girlfriend. Keep that sXXX to yourself." Am I wrong to feel bad when he compliments other chicks yet he says he doesn't compliment me because its "hard for him" to express that stuff? He seriously needs to learn boyfriend etiquette and stop being a jerk. Opinions?

posted to relationships by Aubrey, Lover of the Forgotten Lands (8 comments)

Can you even ask someone to just forget you? I know that I'm just a destructive force in her life. She has so much potential to change the hearts of people in our future generations and I know I'll only inhibit her in doing that. She's clung to me ever since we met 5 years ago in high school and hasn't budged since. We even dated for a time, but she wasn't sure how she really felt about me. I've always been there for her ups and downs. And I love her, but I know that she can do better than me. She tells me that when we are both stable in our lives she'll want to be with me, but I know her too well. She can't go long without being intimate with someone and it probably will find its way into her life. Being a guy friend always turns sour, it sucks. I want her to be happy. I'm 3 states away from her and I don't want her to feel like she has to keep he as a back up. I know she hates the idea of it, and it's probably how she feels about me. I've told her many times that I just want her to be happy but it doesn't seem to change her mind about keeping me around. I never really cared to being around people. If I could pick any job it would be one completely away from all people to be frank about it. I'm not afraid to be alone. Would I like a life with her yes, but it just doesn't feel right making her feel this way. Is it alright to ask that of someone even if you know it's right for them?

posted to relationships by Ari, Devourer of Arts and Crafts (0 comments)

The bully always wins. Always. There's no stopping him. If you fight back, the results from whatever authority figures are around you are worse than if you just let him pick on you. Teachers, parents, cops, or whoever will always put you at fault for the bullying and will always threaten and humiliate you for trying to stop it.

So don't fight back. NEVER fight back. Parents, stop giving your kids stupid advice to stand up to bullying. Instead, teach them how to cope. Friends, stop telling your friends to quit taking it. Be there for them instead.

Accept it; the bully always wins, and always will. Nothing will ever change that. It's better to do nothing and have the snot beaten out of you than to fight back, because the consequences of fighting back are *ALWAYS* worse. Learn to lie there and take it like a man. There are no alternatives.

posted to life by Frankie, Keeper of the Hungry (3 comments)

I'm 21 years old and I have a question that I think a lot of people my age have. Is society getting worst? Or is it just the fact that I'm old enough to understand what's going on in the world? What will historians write in textbooks for future generations to read about what is happening to America in 2017?

posted to life by Addison, Hunter of Generosity (1 comment)

So, ever since I was younger I had these huge dreams of being either a successful business woman or a news broadcaster. I've kept those dreams my entire life until recently. I'm getting older now, about to graduate college, and things have been no less than hectic as of February 17, 2017 for Americans. There has not been one dull day in the media since Donald Trump took office. Now, I expected a backlash once he was sworn in, but I never predicted things to be this bad. I knew a lot of people did not like Donald Trump and the ideals he stood for. I also knew a lot of people that did support him. I've always felt that Donald Trump does not have an ability to project his intentions in a respectable way. I also believe that the media is biased and controlled by rich powerful people. The media is working as a business. The media attracts audiences with misleading propaganda that is scripted and controlled by producers who are in mutually beneficial relationships with political elites. Like I mentioned earlier... I'm 21 years old and I have a question that I think a lot of people my age have. Is society getting worst? Or is it just the fact that I'm old enough to understand what's going on in the world? What will historians write in textbooks for future generations to read about what is happening to America in 2017?

posted to life by Brett, Assassin of Time (0 comments)

I'm just not good at connecting with people. I have a small little cluster of friends and family I hardly deserve. Any new people that come around, I seem to put them off. I think because I am standoffish, or so people tell me. I heard I am hard to get to know. Some say mysterious. Honestly, I'm just shy. And on the surface, I seem interesting, but if you get to know me, there isn't really much there. I follow unique paths with my life but if you look inside those journeys, there isn't a lot of substance. It's boring. I'm boring. It's my secret that I protect. I also have trust issues. I've been bullied in the past. Ignored and neglected, stabbed in the back. Too much for one person. Too much for a child. Too much for a young adult.

And now..now when I meet someone nice, they see through me. They see there isn't much to me. They see me say the wrong thing. They don't trust me. I don't trust me. I don't trust my mouth.

I am not a mean person. But I am not a good person. I'm boring. I'm nothing. I am unlovable. I am unlikable. I could disappear, and outside my family, nobody would notice or care. And I can't blame them. I push the good ones away. It's my fault. I am so stupid for getting my hopes up. I deserve this.

posted to relationships by Ari, Elementalist of Musclebeasts (2 comments)

I'm going nuts here. I'm jealous of my boyfriends best friend who's a girl and am not sure what to do. I feel like she get's that vibe from me in which I don't mean to give off but at the same time I can't help it. I hate it. I have drunkenly told him before too and he said there is. Nothing to be "jealous" about. It I don't know. I'm just worried that I'm going to continue feeling like this, she'll end up NOT liking me (who knows if she already doesnt) & my boyfriend will take her side and I'll loose him. I don't know what to do... I don't know how to stop feeling this way. It doesn't help that I'm insecure about myself... currently working on that. But I just don't know.

posted to relationships by Stevie, Bard of the Wicked (3 comments)

YAY!! throw all their asses in jail , and put them back in Mexico. If they refuse to go peacefully , let a Marine kick them in the balls with combat boots . hey hey, ho ho, your illegal ass has got to go.

posted to society by Arthur, Clown of Good (0 comments)

Liberal school teachers teach a 5 year old how to give a blow job , and when I offer to let them practice on me, you get mad ? Experience has always been the best teacher

posted to society by Stevie, Lord of Light (0 comments)

Both World War III and another civil war in the U.S. I voted for Trump to prevent such things, but it looks like the Deep State has done enough sabotaging already to let it happen regardless. We still have millions of idiots who keep blaming Russia and accusing Trump of working with them. Where's their fucking proof? There's so much leftist rot in the media, colleges, Hollywood, etc. and none of it is being rooted out. I predict an unprecedented amount of bloodshed by the end of the decade, nukes going off, civilizations being wiped out, terrorism everywhere... Trump's not going to be enough to stop it all. We've become to lazy and complacent to help turn back the leftist tide. The world is doomed, people. WE'RE FUCKING DOOMED.

posted to society by Ari, Student of the Wildlands (2 comments)

So many lousy parents out there.

There are parents who want so badly to have their kids to be thought of as "cool" by giving them the latest smart phone when they are in 3rd grade or younger, who only buy the most expensive brand name clothes, who encourage their kids to develop cliques with only certain types of kids, who don't care if their kids are the ones who whisper about other kids behind their backs, who have kids who are just plain mean.......you know who you are. Why do you do it? Shame on you. I see so many kids who are complete jerks to others and you just know their parents are aware of what is going on but they don't do anything to stop it. I feel bad for those people.

Kudos to the parents out there who are doing a great job and have kids that just go with the flow and that don't have to fall into the lifestyle of trying to be the "popular" all the time. I see most of this happening with girls and mothers (can anyone argue that they see plenty of crazy moms at their kids school every day?) but that does not mean that dads don't know what is going on and are just plain pansies for doing anything to stop it.

posted to society by Aubrey, Soldier of the Hungry (0 comments)

I had a dream that I was going to get raped, these two guys came up to me and started looking at me like I was a piece of meat and they were going to take me away then I hid behind this good looking hunky guy who kind of told them to stop, but he didn’t really protect me, anyway we ended up in the same car these guys who wanted to rape me and the other hunky guym but when I got to my destination I just got of safely I was still scared though. This dream could have been triggered by the book I read but didn't finish last week because of the rape scenes. I have personally never been raped and pray that I never do. But because it's happened to children I know even ones I don't know, my cousins and my neighbour I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE RAPE with everything that I am I despise rapists. There is no doubt in my mind that if I had an opportunity to kill every or even a few rapists in the most wicked way I would not hesitate in fact I would love to rid the world of rapists they are the scum of this world. I think this fear and hate of ever being raped is what's causing these dreams, because I also had a dream that I was walking down a path that I used to take to school and these two guys were on me tearing off my clothes wanting to rape me. I hate being powerless and unable to defend myself. If I or another woman were attacked I fear that I could possibly not be able to defend myself. But I want to remake this horrible dream so that I feel empowered. So I just got of the taxi at a busy section of the city, I walk fast to my bus and I realise that I'm being followed by 2 guys, they clearly want something with me. I keep walking and just as they are about to catch up to me I draw my taser and my knife and use it on them, they both fall in agony and I whip out a small bottle with red coloured to look like blood and small black beads I open it and pour it on their crotch area to make them think I cursed them. And I will walk away while cowardly men who didn’t help me look at me in terror. Because if someone tries to rape me in real life it's either they are dying or they are dying.

posted to society by Eileen, Farmer of the Homeless (1 comment)

Mozambique muntaber cobra iku spesies muntaber cobra native kanggo Afrika. n werna ula iku slate kanggo biru, zaitun utawa tawny ireng (3-3½ kaki), Dianggep salah siji saka ula sing paling mbebayani ing Afrika. venom sawijining kira minangka beracun minangka ula krincing American Mojave, dianggep ing donya paling ula ula krincing The muntaber cobra ora cokotan gumantung lingkungan lan kahanan iku ing, lan uga enggo bareng pakulinan padha karo rinkhals saka feigning pati supaya molestation luwih ora Corner ula iki

posted to society by Josh, Shepherd of the IT department (0 comments)

You never noticed me. I was never enough for you. Relationship was based on sex and false hope. I regretted you. I never felt comfortable enough to trust you. Our lifestyles never matched. Yes there were good times. But more bad than good. Ex: trust issues, jealousy, lack of dick. Stop preserving the relationship. Causes you more pain than anything else. Felt judged always. You purposely hurt me for selfish reasons Nothing was ever good enough for you You're violent when drunk. EMPTY PROMISES. Is all we were. My heart crumbled because of you. It's not anxiety this is and were real feelings I DO NOT back track She's happy now. Let her be. I've become obsessive and weird. Let her go. Let go of colors. Let go of numbers. Let go of it all. Im okay. Time to let go now. I'm still fighting myself for you and it's hurting me. I want to let go now. I need to let go now. I have to let go now. End this.

posted to relationships by Charlie, Necromancer of the Hungry (0 comments)

My sister is a bitch i have mental problems and when i do things that are not normal my sister exaggerates it and makes it seem like im the bad one and my parents take her side. She starts complaining how she hates the things that i do but she has no idea how i feel, i hate my self and sometimes feel like killing my self. Everything is about her and she never stops to think about me. My little brother does this too and he thinks he is so cool, superior and knows every thing and my parents do nothing all they do take my siblings sides and give me a really hard time. i am 14 and suffer from ADHD, mild depression, anxiety and OCD.I truly do love them all its just often they make my life very misrable.

posted to relationships by Peyton, Wizard of the Forgotten Lands (1 comment)

I hate to have to say that outloud, but it's true.  Today she made me so made that tears of anger washed my face.  I haven't felt that kind of anger in a long time. My sister is in a much higher tax bracket than I am and she makes no bones about how much better she is than me.  She talks down to me as if I were nothing.  I love her and yet I hate her. She can make a room full of people feel awkward just with her mood.  It's palpable.  It's like she needs to be personally invited to every family event there is.  And we aren't a formal bunch.  If my mom calls her in the morning and she's busy then, she expects another call later inviting her again closer to the time of  a meal.  My mom bulls up and won't do that and my sister gets offended and says she's "out of the loop". She always says that sarcastically to me like I'm the one keeping her out of the loop.  That's not true at all.   She won't call my parents and they won't call her.  Both thinks the other should do the calling.  Somehow I get put squarely in the middle as I have my whole life.  Each asks me what the other is up to.  Today my sister brought up an instance where she thought she was slighted about being asked to a flea market.  (Although she said I brought it up, which I didn't.)  She was asked the night before and said maybe. The next morning she was asked again and said no because she had been, "left out of the loop." See, she wants to be invited again and again. So, today I told her that maybe in the future if she feels I'm keeping her out of the loop that she should talk directly with my parents. She tells me I'm making an issue out of things and that she does not need my drama.  My drama?  Please.   She said that we would just continue as we always do.  I said, "Alright then.  Have a nice day." I am 46 years old and older than here.  I will not be treated like that anymore.  I've let her walk all over me my entire life and I'm done.  I will not buffer her sand paper personality for my parents any longer.  She can show her true colors. Right now I am so angry at her that I spit nails. She's a bitch and bullying one at that.  She's got a vicious mouth when she's angry. She'll pick an agrument and then tell me it's my drama. Fuck her.
posted to relationships by Blaine, Lover of Time (322 comments)

Please allow me the privilege of introducing myself, I'm Kevin . Let's see now, anticipation will probably do more to excite and paint your mind a picture of me than any I could send at this time. Brown hair, green eyes, 5ft8in, 165lb, physically fit. I like nature, holding hands, full moons, summertime, fleamarkets, picnics, playing banjo and keyboard, cooking, a good movie. I own a house. There, I think I typed that in one breath. lol Need more? Well alright then. If you're my girl I'll caress your cheek when I walk by just to show I care. I'll listen intently when you need to talk about something important. If you're my girl I'll rub your back and shoulders after a long hard day and bring you breakfast in bed on your birthday. Want me to stop? Didn't think so. My lips are Sooooooooooo Kissable. In the bedroom (or the kitchen?) I'll do my best to make your hips thrust forward with delight just before we make love and hope the feeling never ends....Oh Sweetheart  My friend  My lover. And that's a savory taste of who I am. This is what you desire. This is what you deserve.........................

posted to relationships by Allison, Tour Guide of the Forgotten Lands (0 comments)

I'm so fucking frustrated at myself for being so fucking useless at life, for not fitting in, for not caring much for very many people, and being so fucking overly jealous and paranoid and boring and useless that I'll end up losing the one person I do love. I don't want to end up lonely, again, after another failed relationship because someone has gotten bored of me again, or because in my own insecurity and drunkenness go on to fuck things up all by myself. I can't stand most people, I want to change the world, or better still live in a world that doesn;t need changed. This place is a mess, everywhere I see hypocrisy, I see greedy morons with better lives than me (and billions more), I see corruption everywhere and I wish I had the intelligence and the dedication and the abilities to do something useful about it, or to just be able to ignore all that shit and just enjoy the good times I've got.   Every moment of freedom from work that I have I find ways to piss it up against a wall. Procrastinating, clicking on the same shitey websites that barely change throughout the day, not even that fucking interested in what I'm reading. I have no dedication. To anything, but I want so badly. I want to learn Japanese faster than at a snails pace, I want to play a musical instrument for more than 5 minutes before giving up, I want to do the thing that I am quite good at but lack the vital skills (out of sheer laziness). I know I am good at one thing but my laziness holds me down. But it is just so difficult to overcome. I feel tired all the time yet I only have a part-time job, I have no friends who live close by since I moved away from unni. Just my girlfriend, and she is great but I can feel it slipping away, her ambition and dislike of standing still can only take so much when there's me sitting there wasting away my days making no progress unlike everyone else seems to do. Poeple get 50 things done in a day when I am lucky to manage to do one, and feel accomplished when I do, so sit back for another 3 weeks. I just fucking hate how miserable, alone, clouded, guilty, talentless, freindless I feel. I want to change everything, just fuck off to another country that I appreciatemore than my own shitty one. Everyone is a fucking idiot and I know no matter where I go that will only change a little, there will be all the same frustrations, all the same pointlessness. That's it, it all just seems so pointless. I don't want to suck up to a bunch of people just to maintain a social circle, I don't like most people, they are mostly fucking self-obsessed cunts and they are always competing, everyone is competing, and I always feel vulnerable, weak, ugly, unfit, tired, lazier, than anyone else. I am starting to feel tense just leaving my door and venturing out there, feeling constantly judged even though there's many more people worse off than me, uglier, older, less well dressed and so on. I have no reason to feel so shit other than that seems to be the way I was made. I was always shy, always terrified to speak up, always lazy and found it difficult to concentrate on one task, or to be truly creative, yet I want to be creative, it frustrates me when I try. I jst want a change, I just want some happiness, some security, to do some things I enjoy every once in a while. To have sex with someone who loves me since I NEVER get sex these days, another nail in my relationship's coffin, I feel. It's not me, it's her, she doesn;t feel beautiiful, she doesn;t feel comfortable... well maybe that makes me feel like shit too, maybe that's me being incredibly selfish, maybe it's her, it's just another fucking thing I am not happy aboout, I am angry about it, I would do, and offer to do, anything for her, she usually reuses and never thinks of ofering herself so selflessly to me. Maybe I'm just a cunt or maybe that IS really shit for me, who knows. I just want a total change of life, of personality, to be someone who will acheive something with their ife, not rot away in unhapppiness, or worse, end it all the sooner as things become less and less meaningful and exciting to me in life as they feel they are getting now.   Rant over. Won't spell check, or grammar check, I know most of it won't make sense, I jump around the place, but fuck it, I just wanted to write my thoughts as they appeared, will make entertaining reading it back after I post it... 
posted to life by Andy, Alchemist of the Idealistic (23 comments)

Australian aboriginals as such are heading for extinction. They are incapable of change after 50000 years without any major advances in technology or culture. They see no reason for change so they are refusing to change. The main driver of aboriginal activism at the moment is all of the main players are basically Europeans with an aboriginal background. The only reason they are interested at all in aboriginal activism is to get on the gravy train. There is untold millions millions of dollars in mining royalties, rent for various national parks and other crown land and eventually we will have to pay rent for Australia. Even the idiot judges that invented MABO realized that for the ongoing stability of Australia all freehold title has to be sacrosanct. I have retired in in South East Asia and every day I see people with nothing get up in the morning and attempt to improve their lot. Sweep their dirt floors, repair there houses they basically built with there own hands, tend there vegetable gardens send there clean children to school, the children do well at school because they realize that it is a way out. These people are polite, well spoken, and happy. Now after 40 years living in aboriginal community's all over Australia I have noticed It is the complete opposite in aboriginal community's. No one gets up in the morning and does anything, no cleaning, no repairing the houses that the government has given them, no tending the gardens to feed there children, the children don't go to school whats the point. They are only interested in sit down money from the Government that they can spend on grog, ganga and gambling. I met a drunken Australian archeologist in New Zealand who tried to tell me the Australian aboriginals were physic and had special abilities and then basically explained in a semi coherent drunken rant why the Australian aboriginal is superior to almost every other race on the planet. Why does this obviously well educated man subscribe to these crazy theory's, because he to is on the gravy train he has started believing his own waffle . And basically any respect I had for archeologists in particular and scientists in general has evaporated. So in The aboriginal people and there culture are rapidly disappearing because they aren't coping with the harsh realities of the 21st century they are being replaced by people aboriginal or islander backgrounds that have enough European heritage to take advantage of the current situation, this is Darwins " natural selection" in action it is basically there European heritage that is driving change in aboriginal Australia. 50000 years of internecine warfare in aboriginal Australia before the arrival of Europeans prevented any sort of change in aboriginal technology or culture

posted to society by Alton, Bard of Evil (1 comment)

The latest farce in America where a federal high court judge has put an injunction on President Trumps travel ban seems to be a test of how much power the president has and also testing the power of the legal system. If this challenge to the presidents power is upheld in the courts this would make a high court judge in reality more powerful then the elected president of the United States. In Australia The federal court enacted what was called the "Mabo decision" which effectively recognized native title claims over the whole of Australia. This was never voted on in any election but the federal parliament rushed to pass legislation to cover what was essentially a high court decision over Eddie Mabo's sweet potato patch which had been in is family for generations. But because Eddie had moved to Townsville for work and no longer resided in the Torres Straights his family's sweet potato patch was being used by another family. All the legal work was being conducted Pro Bono by The James Cook University's legal facility. and went from a dispute over who owned an acre of sweet potato's in the Torres Straight to effectively throw into question the actual legality of Australia as a country. Like Dick the butchers line in Shakespeare's Henry VI, Part2, Act IV, Scene 2."The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers". I don't mean literally but I think there power should be curtailed. throwing into question a whole country's legitimacy is really damaging to the rule of law. I.E. it might force people to act outside the law to protect there way of life some judge has thrown into jeopardy with the stroke of a pen.

posted to society by Dana, Carpenter of Imagination (1 comment)

This was the last weekend I would ever see my ex before moving. I'm so indifferent, he's a terrible person and he's treated me very badly in the past but he was also my first true love, the first guy to make me cum during sex.. I could see past all of his flaws on top of everything else. Ive dated so many men in the past but none of them have felt right for me, but he did. We saw each other last weekend and things were fine, we ended up sleeping together, but that became pretty normal after a while post breakup. We cannot be alone in a room together without getting it on, it sounds pathetic but I've always been drawn to him, even the first time we met. I know I'll always hold a place in my heart for him, I still care about him so much. Since I'm probably never going to see him again I just wanted to see him one last time this weekend. He completely avoided me on purpose, just feeding me excuses or saying he would call me later on, etc. He kept sending me a lot of mixed singles and then eventually said he was sorry but he can't and needed to be alone. I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about, he was overanalyzing the simple act of just spending some time together..... I'm really confused by all of this, and after he eventually snapped on me I just deleted his number and his messages, I hate that I bothered him. He lives his life based off an agenda, no one matters to him but himself. It's crazy how much you could love a person even after they've turned their back on you. I'm venting about it to get over it, finally cutting the ties with him is painful. Saying goodbye to my first and last college love, how bittersweet.

posted to relationships by Nia, Peasant of Musclebeasts (1 comment)

I have so much love to give, yet I am so alone. It is so hard to recover from a broken heart, it takes so long. Each day gets a little bit easier, but some days I feel like I'm going ten steps back. I need to separate myself from him completely, but I can't seem too. He's the only man who I'll do anything for, and the only man that won't do anything for me. He's taken me for granted, used me, hurt me, lied to me, and I've only responded with love, never came down hard on him, always supported him. Still wasn't good enough, sometimes I think I will never find love. I am so alone and may always be.

posted to relationships by Stevie, Sommelier of the Hungry (1 comment)

You see the thing is when you live 10,000 miles away from each other things just get forgotten and brushed away. But i don't want it to be brushed away, i want it to be remembered and treasured and added to. We have these family friends who live on the other side of the world and well my sister lives in the same place. Because she is engaged to one of them. But there's this small tiny issue, that i'm in love with her fiance. We have known each other since we were kids and well i have always liked him. We used to have a thing for each other, and i still do. When we wre in our late teens we met up in spain for a week with our families, we began fucking. and i'm not gunna lie it was a-mazing. he told me he loved and he promised himself to me. we agreed that when we were old enough he would come over and live with me. Next time we met we ignored everything that happened and pretended it didnt, as well, he was engaged to my sister. He told me he loved me and now he is enaged to my own fucking sister. But then something happened. we were wedding planning and my sister (a doctor) was on call and had to go in and left me and him to finish off. As soon as she left he held his arms out and i willingly stepped into them. he told me he had missed me and with that i took no more coaxing. We fucked on her bed an unbelievable amount of times. The sex was so raw and full of passion. We broke her bed, that wasnt good. Again next time we met we ignored the fact we had had sex. After that the next time we met was at the wedding. it was late as in late late and my sister had crashed in the weding suite. Her husband came down in search of what? i never found out. because as soon as he saw me sat alone in the bar he pulled me upstairs and we fucked again. so many times. this is as far as i am and i dont know what to do. i feel awful, its my sister and i love her so much. but i love him too; always have always will. m sister doesnt know anything and i hope she never will.
posted to relationships by Max, Shadow of the Unimaginable Terror (3 comments)

I'm afraid, so afraid I won't be able to attend school this year because we don't have money. I love learning it's my escape but the possibility that this year it might not be it for me scares the shit out of me. Classes have already started so i'll probably be two weeks late this is my third year I can't miss a lot of work. I hate this feeling of not being able to help myself, of being completely powerless. It's a soul crushing feeling. I'm anxious, scared, so damn scared. It's like the universe wants to take all that is me away and leave me with nothing. It keeps drowning me over and over again, one day I don't think I will come up for air. It's so tiring, so frustrating to be in my position it's like have I not suffered enough? Have you not punished me enough? What do you want from me? I'm so lost, so angry right now. I cannot wait until this world ends so suffering can end too, I can't wait for nothingness to take over so I can not feel, see, touch, be.

posted to life by Frankie, Fashionista of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

Stressssed

confession

I keep telling myself that everything will be okay... that I will be okay but I'm so stressed... stressed with what my life will be like in the near future.. stressed about my relationship because I'm so insecure & jealous for all the WRONG reasons. stressed with my self image... just... inserts title when does my life get better? when do I stop blaming myself for thing and learn to let go. When?

posted to life by Addison, Historian of the Satisfied (4 comments)

I love the results when I done cleaning but getting started is sooooo hard Im feeling so lazy right now , but it could have something to do with my stress levels.

posted to life by Blaine, Chef of Evil (0 comments)

Before you leave the house, you ask yourself "What will people think about me?" You buy new clothes, and you ask yourself "What will people think of me?" You want to express your true self, but you ask yourself the same exact question. Today we live in society based off that one question: "What will people think about me?" Why are people so worried to express their true selves? People are so concentrated on other people's opinion that they are afraid to show who they really are. The real question of society should be "Why?" Why do we have to impress others? Why can't we be ourselves? Why do people have to judge others, when they aren't perfect themselves? We all have these questions, but today's society is all about how we look on the outside, rather then who we are inside out, but why can't we change that. Our world can be full of positivity if we try. People can feel more secure, and express who they are. 
posted to society by Josh, Shadow of Time (1 comment)

Before you leave the house, you ask yourself "What will people think about me?" You buy new clothes, and you ask yourself "What will people think of me?" You want to express your true self, but you ask yourself the same exact question. Today we live in society based off that one question: "What will people think about me?" Why are people so worried to express their true selves? People are so concentrated on other people's opinion that they are afraid to show who they really are. The real question of society should be "Why?" Why do we have to impress others? Why can't we be ourselves? Why do people have to judge others, when they aren't perfect themselves? We all have these questions, but today's society is all about how we look on the outside, rather then who we are inside out, but why can't we change that. Our world can be full of positivity if we try. People can feel more secure, and express who they are. 
posted to life by Addison, Devourer of Time (2 comments)

I suppose I have too much time on my hands but I often just sit and think about really overwhelming things. It's good in a way because I'm getting to know myself but it's also kind of dangerous because I could drive myself crazy. A common thought is that I don't really serve any purpose on Earth. I feel I belong somewhere else. I'm just getting by here. It's not really fulfilling, satisfying. I feel like there's another world out there. Somewhere I'd feel more at home, somewhere I'd serve more purpose. I've tried explaining this feeling to my closest friends but nobody has felt the same and think it's really strange. Does anyone else ever feel like this?
posted to life by Harper, Attendant of the Unimaginable Terror (76 comments)

I've known her for over 10 years. I've tried to not have these feelings for her but nope. They just keep coming up. It's so frustrating. Our friendship is too important for me to risk telling her. We're both extremely awkward and introverted people; we are each others only real friend, which is why risking our friendship is out of the question. We talk daily, but rarely see each other, due to living hours apart. When we are together it's the best though. She's really is the last person I think of at night, as sappy as that sounds. Hopefully, I'll be able to lock these damn feelings away, cuz right now they really are a bummer. It doesnt help that shes bisexual too. It makes me overanalyze any little touch, joke, etc. that we exchange. I just want to think of her as my best friend again, and not pine after her.

posted to relationships by Brett, CTO of the Wildlands (6 comments)

Heterosexuality always has been, and always will be, a sad compromise between men who want to get as much sex for as little affection as women can wheedle out of them,

posted to life by Reggie, Embalmer of the Homeless (3 comments)

At 16, I had only been in one serious relationship. When I met my current husband, I was actually still dating my high school sweetheart. I ended things with him for good reasons and stayed single for months. This guy used to come into my work and hit on me all the time, asking me out on dates, telling me how beautiful I was, and just seemed like a great guy. I started going out with him and things moved very quickly. I was 17 at the time and living with my parents still, who definitely fell short in the whole "parenting thing". Just to give you a taste of my parents; My dad is very bipolar but refuses to accept the diagnosis, so he constantly is a new person. I never knew if my dad was going to be pursuing his dreams as a backpacker, stoner, preacher, or truck driver! He went back and forth with these, I never knew where he was and it wasn't at home. My mom began partying and going on trips quiet frequently leaving me home with my two sisters around 11 years old. Then my mom began drinking and taking pills, having affairs. Now I've got a crazy trust issue most people would call "daddy issues" but mines from both parents, I was just a kid who wanted attention from my parents. Now I'm a messes up adult. But going back to my lover. Even at 17 years old, I began staying the night at my boyfriend's house after only a few weeks of dating. One night every once in awhile became constant. I moved in completely and my parents never even noticed I wasn't at the house anymore. I was also molested by a man I trusted as a family friend, after a suicide attempt and going into the hospital, the legal system took over and pressed charges on my attacker even though I didn't want to go thru the pain, I knew it would be a disaster. He spent thousands on a great lawyer and at 17 I was" damned to being a whore who should be an orphan because my parents didn't want me". His lawyers words, not mine. So my boyfriend kinda helped me thru this, he never went to court with me but was a distraction. We moved into an apartment together, got cars with both of our names on it, then got engaged. He was drunk when he proposed, I expected the proposal, seeing as how I had to pick out my ring. Then we began planning a wedding. I done 100% of the work, he literally just had to show up on the day of. Spoiled man? I think so. We bought a house together and got a dog- typical adult things. Now 3 years into our relationship, I have found myself unhappy for reasons I can't grasp. Am I too emotional like he says? Or is he too distant? My husband has never surprised me with anything. No gifts, no grand acts of love, no small kind gestures. He doesn't take me out to eat or anywhere. I have myself alone more than with him. I do all the house work, car maintenance, chores, cooking, grocery shopping, paying the bills, taking trash off, EVERYTHING. He never just randomly hugs or kisses me. Nothing affectionate. Everything feels like such a routine. I could literally make a schedule of our day and it would be spot on. When he'd give me a good bye kiss in the morning and when he'd ask what I'm making for supper. most common questions from him. I just question myself over and over, if we got married because it seemed like the right thing to do and convenient or if it was because we were madly in love. I love my husband, but I don't know if he feels the same. I'm human. I crave affection and attention which i'm being starved of. Random hugs, kisses, being held, being told "I love you" without it sounds like a habitual phrase. Does every married couple feel this way? Am I just wishing for an unreal marriage and love life? Or have I chosen my own fate by marrying someone who has no desire or affection for me?

posted to relationships by Dakota, Engineer of the Unimaginable Terror (2 comments)

I AM NEVER GOING TO ASK ANYONE FOR A HELP ANYMORE AND I AM DONE. IF YOU CANT FUCKING LIVE UP TO A PROMISE DONT FUCKING PROMISE YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH! I AM NEVER GOING TO ASK ANY ONE FOR ANYTHING ELSE SHE CAN GO AND FUCK HERSELF I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO MAKE ANY PLANE WITH HER FUCK THAT I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO TALK TO HER ANYMORE. WE HAD THE PLAN AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO BAIL OUT AT ME AT THE LAST MOMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM SO EXCITED SORRY YOU DONT FUCKING DESERVE ME. I NEED A LIFE PARTNER BUT MY STUPID GENOPHOBIA PLUS MY PHOBIA OF BEING TOUCHED RESTRICTS ME. THATS WHY I WANT TO DISCONNECT MYSELF FROM ALL HUMANS.

posted to life by Bobbie, Ship Master of the craft table (0 comments)

I feel meh, I always feel meh nowadays, not really succeeding at anything nothing new happening. Keep waiting for things to just happen for me but then I remember that's not the way life works and I should be actively pursuing things. Idk what things but goals I guess, picture a future for the first time ever and work towards it. The time for trying is over I need to start making things happen for myself. Tired of being needy and in search of....I don't even know. Can't change the past only work towards a better future, I need my future to be bright, I need things to look forward to, I have to be engaged and into life. The unpredictability of the future is the only reason i'm still here, there's always something around the corner, right? I just need to go get it.

posted to life by Stevie, Ranger of the Satisfied (0 comments)

I've been out of dating seen for awhile I'm 54 red head attractive ,was just out of touch with the dating but I went on a dasdasting site and have dated a guy twice with veiw to more dates she I was on the dating scene I used to go have bikini wax but havnt in few years ,what way should a lady loom down there at 54 this is causing me greive ,I'm sexy and big busted but have been out off touch with sex

posted to relationships by Elaine, Sheriff of Evil (3 comments)

I am a Chilean white blonde woman looks thin, amber eyes that have college education and wants to marry a black man aged between 30-49 years. I want radicarme in the US or Canada. my intention is to have a lasting marriage. You can see information about my education and job training on my website or looking for my full name. Victoria Andrea . my English is basic and speak Spanish. I can not have children and I'm 42 years old.

posted to relationships by Cosmo, Alchemist of Justice (6 comments)

recently when I was at the dentist I was getting an xray and while they were taking pictures, I started getting the feeling of being scared. as soon as it started, I knew I was having an anxiety attack. since then I have had another attack and its really concerning considering I never used to get these. i was wondering what causes them and how i can "treat" them.

posted to life by Brett, Alchemist of Arts and Crafts (1 comment)

What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. , What did the sheriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. Why do niggers stink? So Police dogs can hate them too.What's a niggers idea of foreplay? "Don't scream or I'll cut you, "How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway? One if you spread him real thin.Why do police dogs lick their ass? To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.What do you do if you run over a nigger? Reverse What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head? Stop laughing and reload..What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ? A bus full of nigglets going over a cliff.What does N.A.A.C.P stand for? Niggers Are Always Causing Problems How does a black woman fight crime? She has an abortion.

posted to school by Max, Mistress of the Satisfied (4 comments)

I am by no means perfect, nor has my life been easy. These last few weeks have been choatic. First in in debt through the roof. How did it happen? How can I owe so much?. Where is my money going? How could I have allowed this. I'm not a dumb woman, I work hard however money doesn't last or go far for me. I get paid Friday and I'm broke Monday. Idk why I just feel it only happens to me

posted to life by Charlie, Merchant of the Satisfied (4 comments)

Death of My Dream

confession

You know it's kind of odd sometimes. I getting divorced fairly soon. While I don't miss my soon to be ex-wife I do miss the family life. I think it was my biggest dream in life to be married with children. As I aged I think I gave up on that dream. It's really one of THE big dreams in my life.

Much in the way a high school boy wants that top shelf girl and knows deep down inside that he can't have her, I always felt that marriage would never happen for me. Decades ago I gave up and also discovered myself at the same time. I did discover the joy of being alone and relished the freedom that came with it.

When I met my wife to be that changed. It reawakened my deep deep dream of a wife, children, and loving home. It's sometime that was missing from my life as a boy. I mean everyone tried, but sometimes it just doesn't work.

Now with divorce right around the corner, I feel that dream will never come to fruition. I will only get a taste of it. Worse yet I fear not getting to be with children as they grow. I miss just being with them. I fear my ex will remarry and take them far far away. It kills me even now when I can't be around them for a couple of weeks. That alone drives me into depression. Depression has been chronic with me now.

I do not know what I will do now. I hope for the best but much in the way that high school boy will never get that top shelf girl I feel my dream of a life with my children will never be.

posted to relationships by Ash, Student of the Homeless (1 comment)

So I am in a serious relationship that has lasted 3 years now. We have been living together for 2 years now, we've talked about marriage, kids and our future together. We have our ups and downs but lately there are certain things that are really bothering me. Just wanted to put this out there to see if anyone else has any comments on this. My boyfriend used to be a bit of a player when he was younger, exploring all that's out there type of stage. He has always been very honest with me of his past and when an ex tries to reconnect he is very good at making it clear he is not interested and avoids them. He is always very respectful to me, and his attention has always been on me. Thankfully I've never had the issue where his eyes wander when he is with me, he is not that type of guy. But a lot of his stories always involve his past women encounters. This has become very very irritating to me, I've tried in the past to nicely ask him not to mention his ex's to me. There's atleast one story a day of, "oh man I remember this one girl I was talking to back then, where her parents had a weird thing for carrots...blah blah and she this and it didn't end well blah blah". This is just very annoying to me why do I constantly have to hear stories of all these women from your life? I don't mention the men in my past, even though some events have a huge part in how and who I am now...I still don't bring up stories all the time like he does. My question is how do I even put this subject into a conversation with out him thinking I don't want to listen to him? I don't want him to feel like he cant talk to me about what he is thinking, but why Is he constantly thinking of his past? Is that a normal thing I am not sure. I know I had this problem in the beginning of our relationship I mentioned my exs a lot to make him understand I was not making the same mistakes I made with them. He had a conversation with me expressing how much he hated it so I never did it again. Yet he still continues to do so. Any advice or comments?

posted to relationships by Addison, Archaeologist of Darkness (2 comments)

I moved to Portland because it was a fairy city where people ate organic and cared about the environment. What I found when I got here was that people are even crazier than they were in oklahoma. I started seeing a man, and immediately realized he was bisexual. We were both Poly and even though he had 2 other partners, I was happy! One of her partners was monogamous and we went through 5 months of drama because of it. breaking up, getting back together, and so on. Like an idiot I moved in with him because I had nowhere else to go when my lease was up and it was supposed to be temporary. He finally stopped talking to this other woman and its been just the 2 of us since. twice now since then, I have caught him posting to craigslist casual encounters, and it just about broke us. my trust has been lost and I feel like I am constantly taking care of him. Ive been planning his vday presents for 3 weeks now, its in 3 days and hes just now telling me, not only has he not made any dinner reservations, ordered any presents, he has to go out of town all week for work! and shave his beard!! ugh! So last night (finally getting somewhere) i text him when he was out with his friend saying that our relationship was too stressful on me, and I was leaving him. I fell asleep and when I woke up he wasnt home. I can see through google maps hes at his friends house and ignoring my calls. His friends fiance then picks up and says hes asleep and drunk and doesnt want to talk to me, hes too upset. Im like wtf? "should i go pick him up?" "NO, he doesnt want to see you." first of all folks, we do this dance once a week at least and normally he comes home and cuddles me and restores some faith in our relationship. his friend got him drunk and convinced him to take space from me and not talk to me. I drove over there to talk to him and was greeted with a locked door and his friend pushing me telling me to leave when i stated im here out of love, he was supposed to take me to work in the morning (5 hours later) and work on my car cuz my ball joints about to fall off. It wasnt until they threatened to call the police that he came out and i explained I was just upset and had gone earlier to pick up all his gifts i had hidden at work. Set them up so that when he came home hed find them and be totally surprised. He hit a deer driving my car back in novemeber and had recently changed out my headlight, somehow, not sue if its related my console light when out, so i didnt realize my headlights went on when i pulled up to his friends house and a cop was driving around looking for me because he thought my car was stolen cause i was driving without headlights. his friends fiance waved down the cop, and i had to pull out my oregon plates i just got for the car and prove that the plates were mind, and because my oregon license has my old adress i got written a ticket for both. once he talked to me, and i explained that i loved him and thought hed come home and fight for us and i had all his presents set up for him, he came home with me. he was super sad and crying and i cuddled him

but heres the thing folks. now his friends are saying that hes in a manipulative and abusive relationship( they have no idea hes cheated on me multiple times thus causing my trust issues we are trying to repair and yes things have been getting better)

Am I the emotionally abusive one, or is he? I have a great capacity to forgive and understand. All I ask for is honesty. I didnt go attack him. I went over because he was super sad and drunk. When I got there he wasnt even asleep. EVery fiber of my being is screaming to leave. But when I see him i think this is my everything. HEs everything ive looked for and wanted. I really do love him, but just cant handle my trust being broken like this repeatedly. And I cant for the life of me figure out why all his friends think im this monster.

Am I a Monster?

posted to relationships by Max, Devourer of the Unimaginable Terror (0 comments)

Why don't guys/men like "good girls" "ladies" "good women"? The loyal type that rides for you, the one that's focused, a goal chaser, a good hearted human being, one that doesn’t drop her panties at the drop of a text. The girl that sits in the front of the class does her work, minds her own business, doesn’t bother people?why do you have to Get ready for that type of women? Why would you treat her bad? Not stay loyal to someone you supposedly love? I wanted to make this a one line question but why do good women never win?

posted to relationships by Adrian, Bard of the Forgotten Lands (3 comments)

I feel like I'm on the wrong path. I'm working hard and flourishing in my field of study but I'm not happy. I though maybe it was just that I don't like college but after 3 years of this it still feels wrong. What I'm learning to do wasn't my first choice, and to be frank I didn't really get to choose, my parents did. The only reason I'm doing this is because it makes bank if I meet the right people and it makes my family look great, having a successful son and all. But at the root of it all I'm not happy with it. Sometimes I think I just need to get away, maybe move in with my friend and see how I feel in a month. But in reality I know I'm just being a spoiled brat. If it hadn't been for my parents I would never had made it this far. I don't feel I have any right to question what they think is right for me. It just sucks. I just don't know what's more important for me right now.

posted to life by Shiki, Patriarch of Evil (5 comments)

I've known this guy, let's call him D, for 9 years. We had always been friends, but became very close in my freshman and sophomore years of highschool. He was my best friend. And I fell in love with him. Of course I didn't tell him, I figured this stupid crush would dissapear, and besides he was into someone else, let's call her H. H was beautiful; long blonde hair, freckles and bright blue eyes. She was athletic and funny and smart. She had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop D. He would flirt with her nonstop. Whenever we hung out she's all he talked about. I tried to be supportive, but of course I was jealous. When she finally told D that they couldn't date because she was taken, he cut off all ties with her. I won't lie - I was happy. But D was a mess. He slipped into depression, he failed classes because he would just sit with his head on his desk. At school he wouldn't talk to me, he always wore headphones and listened to sad songs and wouldn't even look at me. But at night, he would vent to me over texts. I would stay up until 2,3,4 a.m. to listen to him. Eventually he got better. He returned to teaching me how to dance, giving me his jacket, and even telling me he loved me. I felt that out relationship was stronger now, and it only made me fall in love more. Now Sophomore year I had another very close friend, I'll call her P. D fell for P, and just as before he stopped texting me, we talked and hung out less. Now, at this point I didn't KNOW he liked P, but I suspected. P knew I liked D though. One night, I finally decided to let him know how I felt. He didn't say anything to me. Instead he told P how much he loved her, and he told P that he always knew I liked him, but just ignored it. This hurt. I was embarrassed. P and D began to date. This lasted only a few months this before P broke it off. D blamed me and didn't speak to me for 2 months straight. When he did, it was just to tell me how betrayed he felt and how I ruined his relationship (because I asked P not to talk about D around me) But because I'm an IDIOT I apologized and begged him to come back. He did. And just as before, he was depressed, and only used me to vent. Fast forward 2 years Now D has reconnected with H. And they are dating. Over the past 2 years D has flip flopped between telling me how much I mean to him and how much he loves me, to ignoring me, he plays a victim role, and is almost narcisstic. I hate him, bug I also still love him. I can't go without talking to him, even though he has treated me like shit, I feel guilty and have withdrawals every time I try to cut him out. He acts friendly now, and has been acting friendly for months. But I still feel angry and hurt towards him and I just don't know how to let him go?

posted to relationships by Aubrey, Breeder of Time (5 comments)

I hate the idea that men have been so hypermasculated that people don't think men ever get raped MEN GET RAPED, young boys get raped. If you force him to sleep with you IT'S RAPE, if you tie him down to sleep with you you are RAPING him. It hurt that I had to read a book about a powerful man getting raped my a gorgeous entitled trash of women because she tied him down and many people will think 'a beautiful woman is riding you just enjoy it' NO NO NO he can't enjoy it because he didn't consent to it, he didn’t want it. IT BLOODY RAPE.

posted to life by Bobbie, Ship Master of the Hungry (2 comments)

I've been talking to this guy for about a week now and things have been moving extremely quickly. He has even called me his soulmate and told me he loves me. Well, he went on vacation to another state to see his family for a week. I'm not one of those clingy people who have to to up someone's ass all the time but I do miss him. He told me he wants to text me the whole time he's there so I've been doing that. However, he hardly responds to me and it's driving me nuts. He says call me after you get off work so I can say goodnight but I call him and nothing so I just text it to him thinking he just went to sleep but no he texted me back asking how work was. I told him and I got nothing after that. Wtf! This is so frustrating!!

posted to relationships by Dakota, Janitor of Justice (6 comments)

People who write in all capital letters. There is an alphabet with lowercase and capital letters for a reason. When my mom makes me feel stupid. I've been applying to colleges recently and she said "If you get accepted into this not so good college compared to this very prestigious school you should take it, I just think it's a good fit for you." Like what the hell? How nice I am. I never talk back to my parents, I never start arguments with people at school. I try to keep to my business.. and yet I'm miserable. The feeling in the back of your throat when you want to cry but you can't. Public speaking. My mother's temper & my father's stuck up attitude. My whole life . . .

posted to life by Eileen, Illusionist of the Satisfied (0 comments)