Posted on September 02, 2010 at 02:20 AM (UTC)
( over 1 year ago);
section: advice / relationships
rank: B+
views: (checking...)
feed:
rss
So I'm 19. I have been in a relationship since I was 15. Not the same one, but 3 different ones right after the other. The first one was weird a young relationship. Less then a year long. Nothing important. The second was just fucking terrible. All kinds of awesome scars, nightmares, mind fuckedness from that one. But thats another sob story. (ew) The one I'm in now though is different. I think I really love this guy and he me. He's a good person. He makes me laugh, sex is good, we have fun together. I'm in college in a different town and he is back at home. I go home every weekend to see him, cause I miss him and all that but...
I have this undying desire to kind of do my own thing. I reeeeaally don't want to break up with him, but sometimes I want to be single. I don't want to see other guys, at alll. but he gets really worried that I'm going to leave him or cheat on him. But I won't! He's also super over protective. He went through his crazy stage when he was younger so now he just wants to relax, but I've never done anything. I want to experience whats out there! Take some risks get the craziness out of my system before I get old and get married and depressed cause I didn't explore my youth!
But every time I try to do these things. I just feel bad, cause if he knew he would be really hurt. And I hate hurting people. especially him. I love him. But I'm all kinds of stuck. I want to socialize and maybe party some. But I dont want to hurt him and I DO NOT want to break up with him. Were already passed the point in our relationship where I can tell him I'm going to do what I want when I want. And that just seems cruel anyway. So I don't fucking know. I've been trying to figure this out for months. Help?
[reply] -- recommended reading?
2 responses to I think I'm stuck
RE: I think I'm stuck
Posted on September 02, 2010 at 03:48 PM (UTC) ( over 1 year ago )wrote the following:
Bottom Line, you have to be happy and fulfilled. It is hard to figure out how to do that trust me. I don't even know how! you sound like you're kind of in the same situation as I am. I'm 26, been with my boyfrind for 4 years now. and I feel like I'm "not allowed" to do anything. It sucks. But I dont know what to do either :( Before that I was always had a boyfriend and never had any single time, so I feel like I'm missing out on somehting. You are still really young though. You should be experiencing life. There are a ton of fish in the sea and if you two are meant to be together, you'd be experiencing life together, not holding each other back. Man, sounds like I should take some of my own advise here.
RE: I think I'm stuck
Posted on September 02, 2010 at 06:58 PM (UTC) ( over 1 year ago )wrote the following:
Its a horrible situation, but put it in perspective. You have a choice - finish with him and have your crazyness, or stick with him and don't. Your choice.
I think back then years when I was your age. I was so in love. I mean, SO in love. I haven't spoken to that girl for 9 years. So things change, people change, but do not regret what you do now. If it is meant for you to be with this guy, then fine. But do not lose your sense of fun, being with a jealous insecure guy. There are 3 billion men (maybe more) in the world, and is YOUR soulmate from your home town? If he is then you are exceptionally lucky.
You say 'I am past the point....' What point? You are 19! He is dictating what you can and cant do? If he loves you, he will let you live. DO NOT THROW AWAY YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE FUN! YOU GET IT ONCE! Guys, they come and go. Seriously, they do. Ask anyone who is older, if they have ever been so in love. Most people will tell you 'yeah, two or three times, or I thought I was'.
Do not finish with him if it isn't the right thing for you. I am guessing he is older. Could be wrong, but he sounds very ontrolling. Have fun hun, you get one chance.
Try to imagine he finished with you in three years, when you leave college. You would regret (in time) not doing all the fun things you want to do now. You only have one shot.
If he is not willing to let you have fun, be crazy, be A GIRL OF 19, then leave him. If he is willing to let you have fun, get drunk, party, snog strangers, go bunjee jumping, then stay with him, but make him understand he is the man for you and that wont change.