Im applying...finally

wrote the following:

ive always wanted to be a police officer, but I never had the guts to apply. 

 Me being a police officer would be the equivalent of a hideous fat human wanting to be a super model.  Its laughable.  No one I know knew about my desire to be a police officer, im a fucking cosmetologist.

 Everyone knows now and im taking a heap of shit for it.  I had to tell people, the application required various types or references.  Friends, aquaintances, family, even neighbors. 

I dont want to get my hopes up, im telling people its no big deal.  I dont want everyone to know I would be crushed if I didnt get it.  They think im just being silly applying, as if its a joke.  They all promised to play along and say wonderful things about me if they get a call from the department. 

Secretly I think I would make a wonderful cop, there is a lot that burns deep inside me that no one knows about.

I hope I get the job, but I dont dare tell anyone that.  Im a big joke to everyone unless you want your hair cut or highlighted. 

Ill show'em all!