its not fair

wrote the following:

every day i go to school, get pretty good grades and try to be a pretty nice person. every day i'm inadvertently shot down. due to my lack of lacrosse skills, drinking preferences, and other incomprehensible reasons i am hovering somewhere in the shadows of the social system. i am not disliked, but this is probably worse because if i was hated at least someone would be thinking about me. there are many more sociable people in my junior class that i would like to appear with, but not by gorging myself in alcohol. there are several girls in my grade that i have an admirable respect for, but this wavers every time a new album containing alcohol goes up on fb. as much as i just want to be ****ing noticed by at least one of these ****ing people, i don't want to harm myself at the same time. all i want is a ****ing friendship, but all i get is the hoof of the social ladder. being stuck in the middle of the social bell curve sucks, and it gets more aggravating every day when i see complete ***holes hanging out with mka or ap when i should be in that crowd.