i went on vacation with my boyfriend (over 3 years) family. his mother completely ignored me everyday, and made it obvious that she was only talking to his brothers girlfriend and reaching out to her. i was just trying to ignore it but then she started calling me by her name. i have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years and the the other girlfriend maybe has been dating his brother a year. it really bugged me that she was doing this. let me mention a little something else. that other girl was caught having sex in the parents room and also drinking with the other brother.  his family is christian and against both of those things. my boyfriend decides to leave me (on vacation) to go somewhere with his mother who has been treating me like this, and i was left crying in the room. i told him about it and he got mad at me. like i did something wrong. then he noticed it the next day and apologized to me and confronted his mom. she said she wasnt doing it on purpose. i mean she didnt talk to me at all for a week and kept trying to get this other girls attention no matter what. i dont believe that she didnt notice. when we got back i avoided going to his house and visiting his family. he agreed with me. i asked him to stop trying to get close with his mother because of what she did to me and other stuff she did to him. he is a major mothers boy by the way. so he went behind my back and planned a whole day with his mother about a family day. no girlfriends invited. i found out by his mother because he tried to hide it from me. he is always so nice to his mother and she can have the worst attitude with him for no reason. she lets the other brother get away with anything and punishes my boyfriend for stupid stuff. im tired of trying to make my boyfriend have a backbone towards his mother. by the way he is in his early twenties and we are getting married. should i marry a guy who seems like he will always choose his mother over me?  am i looking into things to much or should i leave? please help me. i do love him but he has done so much to make me feel less than his mother. he has recently even stopped holding my hand and hugging me and and putting his arm around me when his mother is around. i dont know anymore

46 responses to my boyfriend chooses his mother over me

  1. Wait... on a 1-to-10 scale how hot is your boyfriend's mom in comparison to you? Be objective... rate yourself and the mother honestly.  Because if she's at least 2 points higher than you and/or with better skin complexion ... then maybe you already know the reason. 

     Let me know if I can help with anything else.

    • I'd say don't marry this idiot. don't go with him. If you leave him then he might understand your value. Leave and see if he still wants you. If he doesnt then he's a mommy's boy. If he does then you set the conditions....tell him to get a pair of balls!!!
    • You're an asshole
      • Why would you call this girl a asshole. It clearly sounds like the b/f Mother is the problem NOT HER. She shouldn't be treated like this. What this guy is doing is pure EMOTIONAL ABUSE towards his girlfriend. If he had any respect or valued his girlfriend he would stick up for her against his mother. I'm sorry but if a man can't break alittle from his mother and if his Mother can't cut the umbilical cord then he doesn't deserve anyone special in his life PERIOD.  All I can say is since whoever wrote this article I hope life has gotten better for you, if Not Get out he will only get worse. I'm dealing with the same situation right now.
    • to the person who wrote the following: "Wait... on a 1-to-10 scale how hot is your boyfriend's mom in comparison to you? Be objective... rate yourself and the mother honestly. Because if she's at least 2 points higher than you and/or with better skin complexion ... then maybe you already know the reason." Go kill yourself.
  2. girl i know exactly how you feel. i hate my bf's mom so much, i don't even speak to her but she tries to manipulate him to stay with her and their little annoying family. i am going through the same problems with my bf too. my bf is a mama's boy but he won't ever admit that because he doesn't think he is. i've come to realize that in order for a "man" to see how he really is, he must want to take a moment and really try because he loves you, but my bf is not realizing the truth about how he is with his family and i am conflicted because i don't want to say i didn't give him a chance but also i don't want to say i wasted time in a hopeless endeavor to make him see the truth simply because this man who i love doesn't want to really change. i hoped for a fairy-tale by pushing myself to keep the relationship going but what i then realize is that i am a human-being who is mostly made up of emotions and the most incessant emotion i feel in my situation is sadness. what i am trying to allow myself to know is that it is o.k to want the best for yourself and to ACCEPT that I probably didn't find my prince charming what this means is that if the person you thought was going to be a part of your life but began slowly disappointing you to the point where you feel the flaws in him that hurt you and the health you your relationship. I'm at that stage where i am trying to understand the situation, accept the truth that i found, and make a decision for ME not for the other person.   
    • Absolutely. Just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, it was a mutual decision. I realized I was worth more and if he was a man then he'd stand up for me with his family. It sux because just like you I didn't want to miss out on anything special and thought he'd deserve a chance but it's not til he realized himself that he "couldn't do that to his mum " then all our issues started coming through. Too bad I had already quit my job and left my apartment to go follow him to another state, but although I gave everything and couldn't give up my own self worth, self respect and pride. 
      • OMG, I did the same for my boyfriend, left everything, I literally stopped living when I came to live with my boyfriend and his mother, I never thought things would be so difficult, constantly struggling for his attention, I'm like who's the girlfriend, me or the mother...Only been in the relationship a lil over a year, since no job, gotta study a couple months and look for work....Definately moving out, it will be up to him if he will follow!
      • Wow. Seriously, respect. I am going through something similar with a person I have almost worshipped for the last 4 years and you just opened my eyes!
    • Best reply ever. :)
  3. reading this really hit home for me! im in the exact situation! my boyfriends mother thinks im the devil in disguise. She constantly bad mouths me behind my back and tries to keep us apart. and when i confront my boyfriend, he gets mad at me because i am talking bad about his mother. and he totally takes her side. and he sees nothing wrong with choosing his mother over the girl he promises to marry right after we graduate college. It feels like its me against the world in this relationship. not only his mother, but every other female in the family hates me as well! and now im stuck? do i stick it out because i love him, hoping that he will eventually realize his faults? or do i throw in the towel? this is certainly not the kind of family and situation i want to marry in to. and i dont want her telling my children bad things about me! So do i let her win? please tell me what to do :( and get this! she thinks that he needs to go off and "become a man". ha. stupid woman.
    • Think about it long and hard. I can't stand my bfs mother! I didn't realize he was such a mommas boy until we had our daughter. If you think it's bad now wait until you have kids. I should have seen it coming. His mother too bad mouths me. She is very disrespectful, passive aggressive, and spiteful in her ways and he is always excusing her actions and I'm always left the bad guy. I too have reached the point to question if it's really worth staying with him when he is so attached to his family(they live 10 minutes away and he sees them every week several times a week, his mother comes over couple times a week) Good Luck
      • Bless your heart.  I totally feel your pain.  In fact I just broke up with my bf because I hate his mother.  She is dependent on him and thinks he is there to serve her.  She calls him every morning to wake him up and she drives by his house on her way to work.  She drops by unannounced and thinks everyone is supposed to stop what they are doing to serve her.  Having grown up with a grandmother who bosses my dad around and forces my dad to choose her over my mom, and seeing how this affected my mother's emotional well-being, I decided it was time to end it.  I've learned that if I ever have a son one day, I will not expect him to cater to me, nor will I call him every single day and try to run his life.  It's actually pretty sick and twisted.  I don't understand why some mothers are this way.  I personally think you are better off ditching this guy and finding someone who is not so emotionally attached to his mother.  Like the previous poster said, when you have kids it will be worse.  It's better if you end it now and get on with your life.  You can't control how this guy was raised and you definitely can't convince him to cut off contact with his mother.  Trust me, that's a losing battle. 
        • I totally agree with the above, its best to leave sooner then later - Mamas boys can never provide you with the warmth you need in a realationship. I know wat u mean mommy calling several times during the day , being manipulative & the guy can not see it , it clearly sucks :-(
      • OMG I am so astonished! I thought I was the only person going thru these problems! My bfs mom omg its NO. no words to describe what I go through I mean bein called out my name her gossiping about me to! I mean everything is just ridiculous i have been out of town with this family she embarasses me, told us she didn want us to last, says i dont feed my child and by the way the doc said my child is above average and perfect!She is just jealous and by the way she is MARRIED i dont completely understand why these women have the time out of there day to jus hurt other women who are good and BLESSED to hhave women like us in there live. My boyfriend is always over there I mean always iys sad like will u ever grow up how in the world can u just sit at your mamas all day ! AND PLEASE DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN WITH THESE MEN! IT DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER ! ESPECIALLY IF YOUR BOYFRIEND DOES NOT SPEAK UP TO HIS MOTHER BECAUSE HE IS A PUNK! AND SCARED OF HIS MAMA! We as women need to make a decision here either we are going to put up with it and live our lives stay strong and try our best to avoid their moms or other disrespectful family members OR we are going to move on and handle it from there esecially if u have children. I am going to share one story his family knows I dont like smoking around kids I have one daughter she is still an infant. Well at first they calmed down and did not smoke around her well I went over there and one  family member starts smoking in the house i took my baby outside because that is their house and I cant tell them what to do but his mom comes outside laughing and starts smoking around my baby i made it clear to her and reminded her about it she starts laughn and says the most nastiest comment I got my baby and we left. I dont have to put up with it I dont she is trying to push me away from her son but all she is doing is pushing her granddaughter away from her and not making anything better i feel sorry for u all and u are all in my prayers because this is a very sick and messy issue esecially if u have children STAY STRONG WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN PERSONALITIES AND GIFTS FROM GOD do not compare yourself to these women because they are very sick in the head mentally they are sick I am not trying to be inapropriate but sometimes i wonder if these women  want to be with there sons  sometimes
        • I actually agree with you about having that feeling that the mum wants to be with the son. My boyfriends mum always ALWAYS manipulates him so many times its pathetic! He literally does everything for her whilst the old man just sits on his ass all day. Everytime he comes over hes always exhausted from doing so much s**** for her. His dad treated his mum really bad and she use to tell him stories about her getting raped by one of her cousins blah blah and of course he felt really bad and sorry for her that he wants to be there for her at all times. He usually stays over at my house ever night and now that the old man is overseas she said he has to HAS TO stay home every night coz she gets scared. Scared of what??! She has 5 other kids to look out for her! Three teenage daughters!! And two little ones. One of the 19-20! I mean for crying out loud! People live separate lives without family; life goes on. But this mother here NO... She needs her son at all times. She becomes so dramatic. She acts like she is disabled but she is very very healthy. She treats him more like the husband in the family here. He literally does everything that a husband would do to support the family. Things including like paying ALL utility bills, rent, groceries, taking her shopping and many many more and the old man?! Nothing!!! He contributes nothing at all!!! He doesn't do s*** for her. Every time when he's out with me; she would make him drop whatever his doing and go do this do that (take his mum to a party, pick this kid up, deliver this to that etc etc) And I would have to wait somewhere for 2-3 hours. every time he says no coz he's out with me .... She would always manipulate him by saying she only has him in her life, he's the only one she can rely on and who can do things for her, she also tells him how she can't survive without him, she raised him when he was a baby, had sleepless nights looking after him(hello!? It's mums job to do those things!)and many more pathetic reasons! Every time I complain how she always relies on him too much, how she shouldnt manipulate him and never gives him a break he would always defend her by saying she's has no one; he's all she's got. Hello!? What about those other big kids in the family and .... The freaking old man?!? They don't lift a finger ... Why is it that she always wants to rely on him only and let everyone laze around? I keep telling him numerous times to step up but he says that's just being disrespectful ..... Lately We've been fighting a lot over how his family treats him. I mean why do so much when she doesn't do anything for him; makes the most out of his income and doesn't even prepare dinner coz "she's got a baby to look after" that's her excuse. Hello!? She's lucky she has big daughters to help her look After the baby when she can cook! What kind of mother who doesnt want their son enjoy their life than just serving her?

        • I agree especially with the very last sentence.
    • stop contacting him. if he contacts you tell him you are busy. let him miss you. if he calls dont answer. if he texts respond later and say i was busy didn't see this till now. he may come back around.
    • One word .... RUN.
  4. Run hun, he will never change and she will always be first..Even when you explain to him that he is making a life with you and that you should come first now(including your feelings)and mother should step back, he won't see it as she has had him way longer than you and he is the way she made him. Trust me I know from experience. Mine is the oldest and stepped into the fathers shoes when he passed away.When she starts to say that he only spends time with her when your not available is when you run for the hills.  It'll come..run run run
    • To late for me i have a 2 year old son & 6 month pregnant with my fella, and his mum completely rules our relationship and its endless emotional abuse a few month ago at begining of my pregnancy he walked out because we argued and told his mummy, so then his mummy and all his sisters posted abuse other the internet of how bad i am yet he has everything in our reltionship money clothes bought all the time does no housework no nappy changes never done night feeds he was out gettin drunk instead yet im the bad one.. :/ he already has had 3 cars bought yet he comlains to her he gets nothing and his mum can never do a foot wrong he took it all out on me ! i dunno what i should do i wanna leave this relationship but i know they will bad mouth me to my son and turn him against me they even learn his to swear and hit and his little sister is due in 4 month time :( anyone in the same situation?? we are ment to be getting married in the new year!!?
  5. LISTEN TO ME, and listen carefully! ANY and ALL problem you have when you are dating, just seem to multiply themselves after you get married. The problem with his mother will NOT go away once you're married, it will get worse, MUCH worse. Do you want this woman around your future children? You have to consider everything if you're considering marriage. Do you want your husband and the father of your children to put his mother before his own kids? Because it will happen. My sister married a little momma's boy. It was horrible!
  6. i know this was like a year ago but did it get sorted? i am in the exact same thing!!! my boyfriend constantly picks his mum! we even have 2 kids together, we live 4 doors away!! and she constantly gets him to go up and do things for her! she never visits are house, she never asks about our kids, she just buys a tshirt for them now and again, and her house is full of photos of the kids! she is a weirdo!! she doesn't like me and makes it ovious. i can't take it nemore either! i have just decided im guna cut ties with that family, they don't want to know me so i don't want to know them! how did you get your situation sorted?

     

  7. Hi girl, 

    Well, I used to have the same situation with my current ex bf. In fact, I dumped him bcoz of his mum. I can't stand her anymore.

    It all started during our second month of relationship. His mum starting to force him to get engage with the girl that she likes, someone who comes from her own hometown. Eventually, that girl was my ex's ex-gf when they were in high school. And that girl already have a child with her ex-fiancee. But his mum never know about that. And yeah, she constantly called him almost everyday just to talk about this matter. I really don't understand his mum.

    That time, my ex wanted to meet me up with his mum but she refused, saying that I'm a no good. How can she say like that when she doesn't even know or meet me? That was very painful. My ex used to fight with his mum to defend me. It had been totally insane. We even almost break up on the 6th month of our relationship bcoz of his mum pressure.

    When we didn't discuss about his mum anymore, I thought he had settle everything, especially before he went for sailing (6 months). During his sailing period, he called me and told me that he really loves me & he even thought of having a future together with me. I felt so happy that time. He is a very nice guy. But its juz his mum.....

    Now, when he came back from sailing, suddenly his mum started to force him again. Its the same matter again & again. She even influenced his grandma to force him. They even threatening him. 

    But sometimes, I am juz worry if this is really happening or he was lying to me? So I went to investigate by myself. I even asked his own relatives & asked our fb mutual friends to chat with him. I even used my fake profile to investigate this matter. And I found out that he was telling the truth about his family.

    Well back to his mum. I do believe he loves me. But when it comes to his mum, he always make me feel ignored. He'll push me aside when his mum is there. There were few times when I had huge probs, I felt so sad & I wanna share with him, so I called him at night. But he didn't pick up the phone for like 10 miscalls. When he answered, he only said "I'm duscussing with my mum, I will call u later." I thought 'later' means 15-30 minutes. But he only called me 3 hours later (around 2 am) which really broke my heart. I was totally feeeling down & asleep at that time & he blamed me for not picking up his calls. Hello? He called me twice, I called him more than 10x.. Its not fair.

    I really don't feel happy with this relationship. He always mention about his mum, his mum, his mum, his grandma & bla3..for 2 weeks. I cant even share my own problems with him. I have my own family problems too, its not juz him. I don't feel the space to tell him about it when he did like that.

    He don't even have time for me. He can't even be fair to me with his family. He can't even divide his time for me. Whenever he is with his family especially mum, I always feel neglected. He is talking about his mum like I don't have my own mum. He owez says his mum sacrifices a lot for him like my mum is not there for me. Althought I respect him & his mum, but sometimes, I really get annoyed with them.

    A week ago, I got totally frustrated with him & his mum's attitude & decided to dump him. He got mad with me & straight away he agreed with his mum to get engage with the other girl. Then he said he realized he was not happy when he took that decision, so he called off the engagement. He said he still loves me so much & wants me to get back to him. The next day, he told me that his mum doesn't even want to talk to him anymore bcoz he refused to get engage. He started to melts again for his mum. Suddenly, he said he rather be unhappy to see his mum happy. He still cant see that his mum is dictating & manipulating his life...

    I learn to stop my feeling toward him coz I don't think he will be able to protect me, especially when it comes to his family. And I don't think I would be happy if I continue to be with him when his mum is still behaving the same way. I realize that I need to stop my tears & sadness for a non-working relationship like this.

    Right now, I have juz started my new relationship with a guy who is always there for me. Actually he has been waiting me even before I started to couple with my ex. Maybe its a little bit too fast for me to couple again but this new bf is totally different from my ex. His family accepts me for the way I am & they even send their regards to me. I feel the warm welcome by them & I feel happy. :-) 

    Nway, I hope u'll find ur happiness. 

  8. no because if u do u loosing simething important in ya life and also letting mom winn dont give up have faith and the more u act like it dont phase you and ignore the bullshit and keep him happy the less she will matter. do not stop going around his family shit play ya part in being his girl let her know without words that she cant tare yall apart. ask him if you him and his mom was left on earth and he had to save one of yall who would be?? hell call her mother n law and make her actions real actions come out in front of everyone so he will know whats real.
  9. He should stick up for you but you are not in a position to ask him not to see his mother, he hid it from you because of what you said to him, he doesn't want to lose you or his mother, and he shouldn't have to choose, there is no reason he can't have a separate relationship with his family if they are being jerks
  10. Hi there,i started dating this guy who is really nice and we have so much things in common and we both like each other a lot,but when i asked about his past relationships, if he loved his ex-girlfriend he told me that he never was in love and he only loves his Mum.I was chocked how a 32year old man never was in love,but then thought like ok maybe im over reacting, maybe he got hurt from relationships so he said that.But a week ago he got really ill and we were texting a bit and he cold me once told me that he miss me.He sounded really sick and i did asked him if he needs anything and i kept texting him to ask how he is doing,but one day he stopped answering my texts and next day i called him to ask if he is alright, but he didnt answer my call and texted me after 2h that his mum came(from other country) over there and that he will get back to me later on. Im waiting for his call or text for 4 days already,its crazy . . . really dont know what to think.I believe no matter how ill you are and no matter if your mum is there he still could find time to call.What do you think guys? Im wondering if he isnt mummy's boy.
    • these kind of men are really sick thy need some help friends.this kind of men make m sick.if he has to b his momys boy thn y he fell in love.he could lv hs mom nd sty inmard fr hs life time..friends i need a suggestion do u think like if ur guys s giving time whn he s free nd nt whn im asking fr hs time.nd he leaves me early because he has to pik his mom.he s a family person bt stil he has some reesponsiblties toward me.he luvs me a lot but still ths small things make me worried nd uoset..wat should i do friends.how do i deal vd ds kind of situation....need help...:(((
      • Hi, I've been with my mummas boy for 7 years now. When we announced I was pregnant she suggested abortion. When I gave birth to him, the whole family, men and all, came into the suit minutes after and tool hold of him. I ran out in tears, too weak and shocked to protest. She Is extremely passive aggressive. My boyfriend never married me, to this day.she comes to every birthday function, wanting to provide my kids cake, and never accepted me. Although she pretends too. She forgot my bday last week, now has invited herself to my 10 year olds birthday party for her child friends. She won't come into my house, yet sat out in the dark road two nights ago inviting herself with my partner. He can't say no, even though I'd specified on this occasion it was no family. They could come over, just not out to lunch with us. I got really angry at him telling her she could come, even though I wouldn't allow my parents either, and said I hated her, he had to choose her or me. He thought I was the bitch, she had done nothing wrong...and left to go stay with her. She won't talk him round. I'd say she's got what she wanted. He walked out on me and three kids, and although I should not have ear bashed him, that's it. She is so passive aggressive. He said she can do no wrong as she's family. My psychologist explained a couple has a relationship bubble. Not even kids, or parents are in this sacred bubble. He has his mum and him in the bubble, and me on the outer. Hence the bad feeling I have towards her. It is threatening, and nothing can be done unless he sees it and wants councilling. Psychologist suggested a book about this triange, it's called, 'wired for love' by Stan Tatkin, and can be ordered for around $25 at the Human condition bookshop in kew ( Melbourne) Hope this has helped.
  11. will he supose to.. he aint supose to pick you. if my boyfriend picked his mama ova me i willlove him even more ause without his mama he would not even e here so yea...
    • Don't be dumb. Choosing to love his mom is one thing, but letting her control all of his life is another issue completely. He clearly needs to grow a set! (And by the way, for the person who posted that the mom wants to "be" with her son...I agree and have seen it. Nasty!! ) You say you will love him even more, just wait until it happens and dear old mama wants you out of the picture. Do you love him more now because his mom suddenly decides you're inappropriate for her son for no good reason? How about this for size, put yourself in this girl's shoes and see it from her side instead of seeing it from someone who has never experienced it personally. I'm not trying to be hateful, but really, unless you know first hand how it is and how it feels then don't give your advice. You have no idea what mental anguish this girl has been suffering. Nothing good comes from a mama's boy. He will even get a loan for his mama over you. He will even tell you that you are not his first priority, but "you're way up there", after his mama, his papa, his nieces, sisters, and even the damn dog. Realize you deserve more and move on. Do what makes you happy and forget about making him happy, because clearly as badly as his mom "wants" him, he "wants" her too.
      • I agree... that is called an Oedipus Rex complex (Shakespeare)... mother wants to be with son, son wants to be with mother, ETC.... Just nasty and twisted.
        • Very twisted, and I can't tell you how many times I've heard the boyfriend compare me to dear old "mama". She's such a bitch really! Her daughter hates her and her siblings have nothing to do with her because she is such a cunt muffin. I hate the woman intensely, and now I'm starting to resent her son for clearly not seeing the light. Obviously, he wants to be with her, wants his woman to be like her, and all that he can think about is his mother or his niece. To make it worse, I'm his very LAST priority. Never first, not even second. Even the dog literally is more important than I am to him, and he told me one day "I'm sorry, but you're not my first priority" while crying like a big baby. I told him that was just fine because he wasn't my first priority either and never would be with his Oedipus Rex complex. His mother is always talking about how "hot" her son is, and then accuses me of being a "gold digger" when I'm the one with the 6 figure income while her son is only a construction worker with seasonal work. Then she goes on to say how I'm "old" because I'm 6 years older than her 31 year old son. One day I was suppose to go out with my boyfriend, his sister, and his sister's boyfriend. His mother invited herself along. I almost threw up in my mouth!! Then she went out to eat with us and said I was the oldest one at the table so if I could explain where all the "action" was. I was horrified, because her daughter is only about 5 months younger than I am, and she's DEFINITELY a hell of a lot older than I am. I just wanted to hit the old bitch! And his dad is just as bad, as well as his friends. All this time, I sat and continued to be polite to EACH of them and said nothing negative in return, and still get treated like crap. Even his friend's girlfriend (who is good friends with mama boy's mother) treats me like crap. I'm tired of it. Then just last week he said I was "Good Enough" to marry and that no one else was either. He then said "but I love you very very much"....BULLSHIT! I find it hard to believe I'm good enough to love if I'm not good enough to marry. What he means is I'm good enough to "play with" while he has no one else. I am sure he would never find anyone any better with his sick outlook of expectations, being like MAMA. And I feel that he was lucky to have me in his life for as long as he has. Soon as I can, I'm moving out and dumping his mama's boy Oedipus Rex complex ass! I'm tired of being treated like common street trash.

          1 comments not shown ([view all])

  12. my story is pretty much similar to all of you..my fiance called off our engagement for his mom.his mom who left him with a drunk/abusive father when he was 4 yr old. She dint see him for 10yrs (what kind of a mother does that??) but she paid for his tutions after high school by working petty jobs,as his father stopped doin that...so he gives all the credit to her for all his success ,with which i had no problem...but she kept trying to dominate me by tellin what a 'great mother' she was..n what all she faced for him( wtf! Coz she left him with abusive people who never even fed him properly as a child..n now he has a drinking problem,n she serves alcohol to him every night,rather than stopping him??)she also constantly used to badmouth about me to him (evn to the extent of saying i was after his money)...and was very passive aggressive evn in front of me..n used to say demeaning things to me all the time..like she wanted to choose a girl for him...n what kinda girl she'd have preferred...bt i never reacted...but i did have some fights with the guy coz of this...and she always interfered...evn though i was scared n frustrated,i loved him alot n never disrespected her except once for which i appologised(!) but she won in the end..she got him to believe,i wasnt perfect for him,n that i will be abusive towards her(!) and she will die of depression...so he left me saying i couldnt make his mom love me,so its bettr to call off engagement, than getting married n then getting divorced..n now i am losing weight,very depressed..n unable to/study..it is my final 6months of university ...n im sitting home...coz i miss him..bt the fact is...if he loved me,he wont do such a thing..i'd never ask him to choose between me or his mom...but what kinda woman would ask her son to give up the love of his life?? ..his mom shifted with him 2yrs back after he got dis great job,n is always spending his money...n still im the bitch in all dis?? Jus one word..if u see a guy who's like dis..who is craving his Momma's LOVE more than yours..just RUN! What they say bout Oedipus Complex is right..it exists!
    • Wow. What a lovely mother he has. She isn't concerned for her son's happiness at all, only her own and is afraid that if you come into the situation and he marries you, all of her financial security will be gone. And she would probably be right. Sounds like he needs to grow up, and you are better off without him in your life. My guy got a $10000.00 loan for his mother and father because his mother "was sick". I'm a medical professional, not much escapes my attention, and I can tell you right now the old bitch was faking it profusely. He paid and is still paying on $10000.00 plus interest for a faking bitch. And to make it worse, he also pays mommy and daddy's cell phone bills and even has his checking account with their names on it also as a joint account. Then he has the nerve to tell me I'm not his first priority when I can clearly already see this. He bought her a lovely automated bird bath for Christmas. You know what I got? "Merry Christmas" and nothing more. He's cheap with me, but that isn't even what upsets me the most because I can buy my own damn birdbath. What upsets me the most is how he thinks he can do soooo much better than me, and how his mama is the one placing this ridiculous idea into his head. She has a problem with me clearly, but I think she would have a problem with anyone in her children's lives. She clearly makes her daughter's new boyfriend feel like crap, and so does "daddy". Only the daughter is smart enough to stand her ground and take up for her boyfriend. What's my boyfriend do? "Yes mom, no mom, ok mom, anything you want mom". He never takes up for me. She said I was "OLD" in front of him and he said nothing at all. She accused me, ME, of being a drug abuser, when she's the one who smokes the weed. I do NOTHING! I don't even drink and was being designated driver for her, and her lame family, but I'm the one accused of being a druggie and alcoholic. HA! The bitch lives in a alternate world made up of her own bullshit and her family (excluding the youngest daughter) lives there too. And I feel it is hilarious that she thinks he can do better. How can he with her up his ass all the time? Clearly, I'm to the point where I'm using bad words, which isn't even my personality at all! They are making me a bitter person, and when the situation is right, I will leave him, and I'm sure he will remain all alone the rest of his life because I feel that he is just as shallow as she is. I think he was waiting for me to sell the house so he could use MY money to fix his shack. My home is very nice, newly built, and in a secluded private location, yet he thinks his run down falling in house is better. But yet I'm not "Good Enough" to marry. I'm guessing everyone would say the same thing as I'm clearly thinking, he is just using me, and it was probably all his mother's plan. I don't understand what I saw in him really. He has been honest about not wanting to marry me, but says he "loves me very very much"...for what purpose? Probably for the money! Only thing is, while I might have more than he does I'm not stupid enough to invest it in a mama's boy, so his and his twisted parents' plans to take me for everything went to hell in a hand basket. It will be a cold day in hell that he gets a single cent from me. I don't know why it took me sooo long to realize I was just being taken advantage of. I see it now though, and I see a lot of things more clearly than I did a year ago. It might have helped his situation if he even gave the slightest hint that he gave a damn about me, or even if he had been good at faking it and presenting a ring, he would have had a better chance, but clearly, HE and MAMA are the gold diggers.
      • just one suggestion..don't wait for the right time..if you want an out,do it now..coz its like a pit,n u keep falling deeper n deeper...n dis guy who clearly states ur not a priority,will leave u devastated,when he leaves...specially if u are emotionally attached..in my religion,its a sin to have sex before marriage..and this guy,my ex-fiance, almost got me to that point..now i think of it and feel disgusted why i ruined such a precious memory on him,even though im still a virgin and he just touched me...i could see how controlling his mom was..still i did dis...and now i'm sitting home depressed when i should be completing my last few days of studies..(im a physical therapist)...bt atleast i dont have any kids wid dis guy.thank god for that!
    • I can relate fully. The alcohol thing especially. This woman gave her first child up for adoption, then got married as fast as she could, was seeing husband while carrying illegitimate child. Her husband was an alcoholic, she had two boys with him. She constantly pits them against each other. She is divorced, and lonely and miserable. She has (sometimes successfully) tried to make both her sons hate their father. She is an uneducated spiteful demon. Now that her sons alcohol use has hit a dangerous level, she is there more and more. Enabling the man of my dreams to death. The codependent situation is unbearable to watch. She makes me sick, she stands for spite, manipulation, greed, and hate. Because she perceives her son as successful, as he is clearly financially struggling, she actually gets paid to "help" him with his son. She spends half of her income on her hair, rest on clothes and junk. The tragedies here are so layered and complex. This dirty old whore is actually now able to destroy another generation, while making a complete ass out of herself, complaining about how tired she is for all she does. Any mother who has to get paid by her kid to mother them is a pig. Worst part is I love her son so much it hurts, because of her, being threatened by me, looks like she may have "won". Trying to step on my relationship with her son has begun to cripple him. I'm not welcome to call or stop by if she's there. Now, I'm sure she's going to try her best to get him to see its a good idea for her to move in. She is a money grabbing washed up old slut. She's even lost weight, I swear to compete with me. So sick!!! Just wondering how much more of this he can take, I'm worried sick for him. I should just run, but so hooked on him I can't. Also wondering how this dirty withered up hag can constantly kill love and teach hate, and get away with it, must be the alcohol...that she gets for him when he too sick from drinking to get it himself. I know I can't save him, but can't she get run over by a bus or something?
      • I have a question for u guys. My situation is different in that my boyfriend (age 39) is very close with his brother (age 41). Know it sounds strange but neither has had a very serious relationship with a woman. In other words they have always had each other. I am 48 years old with 2 beautiful grown boys.Give yall some background. I lost my youngest son in Feb. 2011 who was 13. I started drinking a bit too much and had an intervention and was sent to rehab. Have been married to a man for over 25 years who honestly ignored the hell outta me. Especially after our son passed he never got over that anger stage and took it out on me. That's what leads me to rehab and meeting a younger man with which we have sooo much in common! I absolutely love him I left my husband for him. We get along beautifully its just his brother that is totally against our relationship. In my opinion two people that have addiction issues can either support one another or drag one another down. In this case I believe we support each other and build one another up. Know I'm going on and on but have alot on my mind! My point is I believe because my boyfriend's brother is so used to having him to himself so to speak that he does not want to "share" him with anyone. Which brings me to my main question! Haha. My boyfriend and his brother go every year to the Florida keys on a timeshare and go fishing. He just informed me last night they r leaving 5/3 for a week. He wants me to go but his brother obviously doesn't. I feel that my boyfriend is choosing his brother over me and not standing up for the two of us. Comments please! Thanks!
        • You need to make the decision to live life for YOU. Are you doing that or are you stuck in a relationship that isn't really making you happy? That is what it all comes down to. The brother isn't the one in the relationship, so you will have to set boundaries and make sure your man understands how you feel. If he continues to support the brother, then he has already chosen who he wants, and it isn't you. Hard to accept, but true. Just live life for YOU and do what makes YOU happy.

          3 comments not shown ([view all])

  13. Wow i thought i was the only in this situation.... My bf is more of a daddys boy. We've been together for 2 years and ive been living with him and his PARENTS FOR 1 YEAR. Oh gosh worst mistake ever. I repeat, do not, ever, go live your bf parents!!! The first year was wonderful... He was from another state and his parents werent there at all. They werent even calling him. After a year, he decided to go to another state with his dad to make money. I decided to follow him few months later and his parents BEGGED me to stay with them, expressing how much their son was lonely and sad without me. They seemed okay. Crap I was an idiot. The first weeks they started backstabbing me for stupid stuff. My bfs whos a daddys boy, didnt say a word obviously. His mother is one hypocrite fuck, accusing me of things i never did. His dad is overprotective and selfish, he always wanted my bfs to be with him. And remember girls : a daddys/mommys boy is NEVER a mature person. Typical day : when i came from work my bf was always in his parents room, chatting with them. Hed go downstairs to ask me what we were eating. Make him food. He eats and go back to chill with his parents while im doing the dishes and going to my room alone..yay.This week he proposed me to go to a concert, a the day before, tells me hes going with his dad instead.Like, i understand its your family, my parents are so precious to me and i love them but i aint gonna do my life with them! Fuckkk those people saying hes a caring man bc hes sickly close to his family. A rational person would put you as priority if your the one they love! Girl, listen, RUN. He might be sweet,funny and u might have many things in common, but this type of relationship kills you. Do you want his parents to be the grand parents of your children? Do u want them in your life for allllllll your life? Im sorry, but he already choose his parents over you. Ive been there.theres no hope.....just go away...do it for you. Do it because you love yourself enough.