I know I am not so fat, well over weight as I see my self. I know I only have to lose about 20 more pounds to be within military regulations, but I can't help feel like I am a cow each time I eat. It can be healthy food or junk food, I just feel like I am getting fatter each time I eat. I hate this feeling. I don't think I look good and I know I am not fit. I want it all and I know there is no magic pill to make it so. My wish right now is to be attractive to myself.