These comments belong to the entry sixteen and mentally unstable

1. RE: sixteen and mentally unstable

   Posted on June 23, 2008 at 04:19 AM (UTC) ( over 3 years ago )
   

   rank: Must read!

   replies: 0

   

   wrote the following:

   i hope you read this.

   when i was 15 i was diagnosed with depression and they put me on lexapro. nothing happened, i was still having racing thought, planning out my suicide, writing and journaling nonstop and constantly feeling like i was going to break at any second. the medicine never seemed to work. so we switched psychiatrists, and i started taking effexor. when i was on that, i weighed MAYBE 90 pounds and i was taking about 250 mg which was WAY TOO MUCH. i started hillucinating and having horrifying dreams and really disturbing thoughts. i cut myself alot and attempted suicide, and they brought me to a psychiactric hospital but there were no beds available, so my parents drove me to houston where my aunt lives to go to the emergancy room. they didnt know what to do with me, no one could figure out what was wrong with me and why the meds werent working. they thought that if they left me alone for 5 seconds i would do something to myself. so i went to a psych doctor there and he diagnosed me with depression/anxiety. he told me that my past psychiatrist had put me on the wrong meds and too high of a dosage. so he put me on paxil and depacote, paxil as an antidepressant and depacote as a mood stabalizer. the medicine never worked.

   the only thing that saved me from myself and from the depression, the mood instability, the WHATEVER IT WAS that i felt like was eating at me like a CANCER...the ONLY THING that lifted that everyday burden, that black cloud around my brain, that feeling of hopelessness and that overwhelming desire to DIE, was Jesus Christ. I prayed for him to save me and i became a christian, and let me tell you, the MOMENT i prayed that prayer, it was lifted off of me. i felt my mental sickness LEAVE. i was healed. 3 years of suffering, and then i experienced instantaneous healing from the One who knew that he was the only thing that could fill me up. christ filled up my hole and made me want to LIVE. thats a miracle.

   i hope that you work throught everything that you are going through. just know that my story is true, and i dont know what you believe, whatever it is i RESPECT it, and my heard goes out to you because i know exactly how you feel. i will pray that the grace of the Lord captures you and heals you and gives you a new life, the way he gave me new life.

   ps-- 4 different psychiatrists diagnosed me with mental illness and prescribed me medicine. remember, that is how they stay in business, that is how they make their money. i used to think that i would be on meds forever. i have been off of them for a little over a year now, and i feel amazing. Christ can do it all.

   :)

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