These comments belong to the entry Should I Keep Trying To Make It Work?
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RE: Should I Keep Trying To Make It Work?
Posted on February 08, 2012 at 09:25 PM (UTC) ( 3 months ago )wrote the following:
Sadly, sweetheart, you're going to be disappointed no matter what you do and most likely crying yourself asleep every night even if you stay with him. Besides the fact that he's already cheated on you, he's also already started a life with someone else by having a child with them and even if you get pasted the cheating and the fact that someone else pretty much owns him for life now, the other person he started this life with, will make your life with him miserable.
Next, real relationships do not consist of one person giving up everything for the other and it's proof that you already know this because you wrote about it here and you also know deep down in your heart that you don't want to do it anymore. You're friends are correct, he should not be trying to control you in the ways you've described and I have a feeling it might be in many more ways than you're willing to admit, which means that if you do try to stay, it will mostly likely only get worse, especially if you end up marrying him or getting pregnant by him.
I'm assuming that he is around your same age, and you're correct, he is only really thinking about himself, HE doesn't want you to join the milatary because HE won't get to see you? that's one of the most selfish statements ever and the reality of that statement is that he probably doesn't want you to join because he's scared that you will meet someone and cheat on him.
I know you love him, but, honestly, you know what you have to do, that's the real reason you've written this post. You're seeking confirmation and reassurance that what you need to do is right.
So here it is, yes, you know you need to start being a little selfish and start thinking about yourself. Being alone is one of the best things that I've ever done for myself, unfortunately, I didn't learn it until I was in my 30's. You seem like a very intelligent young lady, so be strong and move on. You deserve to have someone that is free of the kind of lifetime bagage he created and mind you, I'm not talking about just his child. I'm talking about his lying and cheating behavior that will forever haunt your mind if you try to work it out with him, not to mention the controling way he already is with you. It's not good and my guess is that if your friends (at 19 years old) are recognizing he's mistreatment of you, it most likely means that it's way worse than you're realizing yourself, so please don't fear being alone.