I think I'm stuck

So I'm 19. I have been in a relationship since I was 15. Not the same one, but 3 different ones right after the other. The first one was weird a young relationship. Less then a year long. Nothing important. The second was just fucking terrible. All kinds of awesome scars, nightmares, mind fuckedness from that one. But thats another sob story. (ew) The one I'm in now though is different. I think I really love this guy and he me. He's a good person. He makes me laugh, sex is good, we have fun together. I'm in college in a different town and he is back at home. I go home every weekend to see him, cause I miss him and all that but...

I have this undying desire to kind of do my own thing. I reeeeaally don't want to break up with him, but sometimes I want to be single. I don't want to see other guys, at alll. but he gets really worried that I'm going to leave him or cheat on him. But I won't! He's also super over protective. He went through his crazy stage when he was younger so now he just wants to relax, but I've never done anything. I want to experience whats out there! Take some risks get the craziness out of my system before I get old and get married and depressed cause I didn't explore my youth!

But every time I try to do these things. I just feel bad, cause if he knew he would be really hurt. And I hate hurting people. especially him. I love him. But I'm all kinds of stuck. I want to socialize and maybe party some. But I dont want to hurt him and I DO NOT want to break up with him. Were already passed the point in our relationship where I can tell him I'm going to do what I want when I want. And that just seems cruel anyway. So I don't fucking know. I've been trying to figure this out for months. Help?