You're Grounded

I know that God loves the world - though I don't know HOW it's possible.  People are pretty shitty, and there's no such thing as grace and nobility anymore.  What a punishment it is to know for fact that He is the One true God, worthy or worship and praise, and in the same breath, realize that His presence in your life is only so that the rest of the world isn't punished by your groutesqueness.  I'm grounded to that back rooom, while there's a party going on.  I can hear it, and people shout out, 'We love you! But you're still grounded!'  I am ineligable to enter the Kingdom - heaven, whatever you want to call it, yet I'm still supposed to be kind and loving.  I'm supposed to still be kind and loving to others, which is the right thing to do, even though I'm going to hell.  I'm supposed to be a vehicle to bring Him to other people, even thiugh I'm not going to be with Him when the time comes.