Screaming so loud that no one can hear!

I have been having these dreams, and visions of me walking into a gun shop, buying a gun and taking it home to shoot myself. I can see myself sitting in bed holding the gun in my hands staring at it, then holding it up to my mouth and shooting. I can close my eyes and see myself laying there in a pool of blood taking my last breaths, and dying. They are so vivid that when I come back to reality I can sometimes smell the blood. Sometimes Ill be driving, and I’ll press my foot harder on the gas and watch the speedometer go higher and higher, till I am barreling down the highway at 90 or a 100 mph and get visions of myself driving into a wall, crashing my car.    I have been thinking about ending my life more and more lately. Its been on my mind for years but I’ve been sinking deeper and deeper into an extreme depression, and now I feel like I am at my wits end. I don’t really have anyone to talk to; I don’t feel like anyone would care.  I have become so with drawn and hopeless that I just don’t see any other solution to my pain. I feel like if I talked to a friend, that they would just think I am aiming for attention and I don’t have the balls to follow through. I just don’t know how much fight I have left in me. I think my time is nearing. I mean, we all do have ‘a time.’ Right?