Dear Mizzou students

If you are a smoker, please STOP walking and smoking. Your ashes blow everywhere and I don't want your cancer. 

If you are driving on campus please watch out for the pedestrians (it IS a pedestrian campus you know)

If you are a chemistry professor, maybe try and find a place where they will let you only work on research bc your teaching skills are probably really shitty.

If you are an advisor, please get serious help with your advising skills. I can't your advice is of little help

If you are in the parking department, please do some serious renovations. PARKING SUCKS AT MIZZOU!!!!!!!

If you are just going to talk all class, don't go. 

If you are in a sorority or fraternity, I don't care.

If you want money, go somewhere else. I am broke.

If you are brother jed, well at least you are entertaining... but who are you to say that we are all going to hell? 

General announcements:

WALK FASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!  

take and Ad sheet and use it as a guard against future ad sheets. 

Recycle your ad sheets!!!!!