i don't know if i've ever been good enough, i'm a little bit rustyy.

wrote the following:

In the summer of 2006 I was 15. I was still innocent, barely even had boys looking at me. In late July I was taken advantage of. I was foolish enough to believe someone I had known for my entire life would take me home and make sure I was alright. He took me home, we did fool around and that's the main reason it was never reported, because no one would have believed me anyway. I told him I didn't want to have sex and turned over and passed out, I don't know how long after I passed out he decided to take my pants off but the next thing I knew was he was on top of me and I didn't know what to do. I froze and did nothing, I let him do whatever he wanted to me, because I was afraid to stop him. I've told one other person this story, we're no longer friends, I have nothing left. I feel so empty inside sometimes.

I'm 19 years old now, the man that did this to me did it to a lot of other girls. He went to court about a month ago with charges on like 6 different girls and I thought I'd never have to deal with him again because of the fact that it looked so solid that he'd be going to prison for a long time. The court found him not guilty and he quickly came back to my community. I'm terrified to speak of this to anyone, so here I am. Confessing on a blog to millions of people in order to feel better.

I don't know if I'll ever be whole again, and I feel like I'm just damaged goods because no one really shows interest in me anyway. I try not to let something like this bother me so much, but I know that if that one thing wouldn't have happened, my life would be so much different. Then again, I forgive him for being the pig he is because if it weren't for that experience, I would probably be very vulnerable and weak still.