Life full of depression.

wrote the following:

I am losing it. I am 14. More recently I am finding my true self. I am starting to like the same sex. It makes me horrible to know this about myself. I am forcing myself to date the opposite sex when I really dont want to. If I came out I dont know how people would react. I have gotten to the point where I have cut and tried to hurt myself over it.I recently have gone to two different sports camps. At each camp I met two counselors that were gorgeous. (of course they were the same sex). I cant help but look at them every chance I get. But all of them are in their 20s. But I feel so mature when it comes to them.Well I am home now. I am incredibly depressed. I cant do anything but sit here in grieve. I just want this one person to know how I feel about them. I  feel like I cant go on without them. What should I do? I think everyone would hate me if I came out to them. I dont even want to be here anymore. I am not needed. I dont want to live a life of depression. I want to date people that I like. But I am forcing myself not to. I cant take it.